Superboy Prime is probably STILL a weenie

So...the little monster is out of his cell, and up to no good. And it is probably STILL everyone else's fault. He may have his fans, but I'm not sorry to say that I am not one of them. I can't stand that little creep. He does look pretty scary in this scan however, I must say.



Got the whole crazed look in the eye and a smirk on his lips thing going on. However, as nasty as he may be, and with all the potential he posseses for a HECK of a lot of mayhem, I'm not quite as worried about him as I am about some of the other dudes in that picture.

According to Geoff Johns, the Earth is the Nexus for the Universe, and the fate of the 52 other Earths and Universes rests upon its shoulders. Kind of makes sense for the importance of Earth in the bigger sense of the DC Universe. No WONDER aliens keep invading us! We're SPECIAL! It also explains why there are so many Earth-born Green Lanterns. Now the destruction of Earth and all the other Earths, will lead to the existance of the Anti-Universe as the ONLY Universe, so I guess we can see the Anti-Monitor's motivation in all of this.

Hank Henshaw, the Cyborg Superman just hates life, and wants to see it completely irradicated. He's also batshit crazy, which helps, so that's HIS motivation. Sinestro wants revenge on the Green Lanterns, and he also wants to spread order throughout the Universe. In his own eyes, he's the HERO. In some rather scary ways, he's got a lot more in common with the Guardians than I can think about comfortably. He believes that emotion gets in the way, and that order is the only important thing. He also greatly enjoys power, but that's kind of a perk.

Kylellax of course is in it for the fun as far as I can see. Parallax just lives to scare the hell out of people, so that's what he's going to want to do. It is how he survives, now he's got this nice new body, and he's going to be going to town.

So what is SBP's motivation here? Here is a quote from Geoff John's.

"He's a lackey, he's always been a lackey, he was a lackey to Alex, now he's a lackey to the
Anti-Monitor, and when the Anti-Monitor needs to power up his number Two, in the heat of battle, where do you think he's gonna turn to?"

Take THAT, Emo-Boy! I think that he's got "expendable" written all over him.

Sinestro Corps #1

Ok, no more stalling.

There was a certain amount of hype and anticipation prior to the purchase of this particular book. Lots of comments and speculation on the various blogs and message boards. Nothing...and I do mean nothing, could have prepared me for how totall frickin' AWESOME this book is!

Firstly, the art is exquisite. The detail, the attention paid to the little things, there is a feast for the eyes on every single page. As there is no separate inker listed in the credits, I must assume that Ethan Van Scriver also did his own inking...and it is all rendered so very beautifully.

Secondly, the coloring by Moose Baumann is spectacular. You can almost feel the heat from the glow of the flames, all the various shades of green and so on. The shading, the mood set by the use of the colors. Again, it is exquisite.

Thirdly, the story itself.

The plot summed up, is that Sinestro wants revenge, enslaves the Qwardians and starts assembling the nastiest bunch of SOB's in the Universe, giving them yellow rings, and creating the Sinestro Corps. Since Sinestro is completely obsessed, he apes the format of the Green Lantern corp right down to the creation of the book of Sinestro, trains his rookies in the best ways to instill fear, and gives them snappy uniforms. He kidnaps Kyle Rayner, beats the snot out of him, tears down his defenses and infects him with Parallax. In the meantime, the Sinestro Corps also attack Oa and the Green Lanterns, kill a bunch, break Superboy Prime out of his red sun-eater prison, and also nap Cyborg Superman and probably a few other baddies out of the Sciencells. Finally, with Kylellax at his side, he goes and meets up with the newly rescued villains, and his new Master...the new Anti-Monitor!

Put baldly like this, this summing up, can't begin to express the twists and turns of the plot, or the various subtleties. Geoff Johns refers to a whole lot of DC history here, and in his usual fashion, transforms it all into gold.

On the very first pages, Sinestro is reciting his new oath, and expressing his loathing for Kyle Rayner, who not only helped defeat him, but personally humiliated him. (see Rebirth) Sinestro may hate Hal and blame him for his downfall, but he also really really hates Kyle.

Next, Hal is on earth, trying to figure out clues about what Sinestro is up to, since he's been informed by Batman of the attempted induction into the Sinestro Corp. Zoom shows up and basically spanks the entire Justice League.

Hal doesn't really get too much help on Earth, so he's off to Oa.

In the meantime, Graf Toren and his new partner are being annoyed by a yellow ring that is flying through their sector, taking out a floating space church and endangering lives. They're having a little trouble, so it is a good thing that Ion shows up.



Apparently the yellow rings make a buzzing noise that is annoying Kyle. He grabs the ring and heads back to Oa, to check it out. Oh, and Bedovian is awakened from his lair,and decides it is a good time to join the action.

Back on Oa, the Guardians are having a confab, and not really accomplishing much. They are interrogating the head and torso of Hank Henshaw, aka Cyborg Superman, who isn't being particularly helpful. This is when we learn the secret of the "52". Earth is the nexus, and if Earth is destroyed, then all the other Earths, and their Universes are also destroyed, leaving only the Anti-matter Universe. Coincidentally, that's where Sinestro is. Ganthet keeps trying to be the sole voice of reason, seconded by a female Guardian named Sayd. Naturally, the other Guardians ignore them.

Meanwhile a couple of Lanterns are coming in to guard SBP in his little green prison. They make some comment about Hal Jordan, and Guy Gardner lays a verbal smackdown by reminding them that it was Parallax, and they they should "study the damn book of Oa" He also leaves a little present for SBP.

Oh Guy.

John, Hal and Kyle have all showed up on Oa, and are trying to get in and see the Guardians, but are naturally being stalled. The red tape on Oa is something fierce. They all end up in the cafeteria, where Ke'haan, Laira and some of the other formerly lost Lanterns are being a bit on the prickly side. John is quite indignant about this treatment, but Hal is trying to be diplomatic and just let it go. Guy shows up and is all jovial, teasing Kyle about being the Torchbearer and even giving him a noogie on the head, which just cracks me up. Kyle however isn't in the mood, and Guy backs off immediately. Turns out he was supposed to hear his Mother's will today, and he's all sad and depressed. Poor Kyle

All of a sudden the yellow ring that he had brought back with him to show the Guardians breaks free, and starts causing a full-blown panic. It's zipping all over the place, and nobody can seem to catch it. At first it seems to be trying to go for the lost Lanterns, but it receives new orders, and grabs Kyle, and in a horrific scan dissolves him, and kidnaps him to the Anti-Matter Universe. Understandably, Kyle is a little off-balance, but still trying to make sense out of things, when he finally sees and hears what is going on. There is a magnificent two-page spread of Sinestro giving a speech to his newly gathered evil hoards, and gosh darn it, there are some impressive bad guys on display! Sinestro wants to spread fear throughout the Universe in order to bring order and control to the Universe. In his own mind, he's being perfectly reasonable, which is one of the scariest concepts that Geoff brings to this tale.

Kyle tries to summon the others, but only calls attention to himself, and led by Sinestro the ENTIRE Sinestro corps attack. Kyle is completely alone, but he's doing a pretty good job of fending them off, when he's hit from behind and overpowered.

Back on Oa, there is some understandable consternation at Kyle's abduction. The force of the explosion tore a hole right through Oa's Lantern construc defense, and Guy, Hal, John and some other Lanterns fly out to investigate. That's when Bedovian decides to enter the picture, and starts picking off Lanterns. One shot misses Guy by inches, and takes out a rather large-headed gentleman, whose blood and brains is thus sprayed all over Guy. They get a shield up, and are trying to get the rookies to safety, but Bedovian takes out another one.

And then a whole crapload of Sinestro Corp bad guys show up and physically attack Oa. Guy is going toe to toe with Karu Sil and her ring-generated pack, and having a bit of a tough time. John in the meantime, has figured out that he needs to take out the sniper, who is still at it, and assembles a rifle, and manages to track where the shots are coming from...and takes out Bedovian! Too bad about Chaselon. This is such a really splendid John moment, he's so cool and calm in the middle of all the absolute chaos that is going on.

Kilowog and more of the Lanterns show up, to fight the incoming hoards, which is nice. There are all sorts of lovely little visual nuggets of goodness. Speaking of nuggets, the little Racoonish Green Lantern pelts one of the Sinestro baddies with a giant green acorn, which is a lovely touch. Guy still beating on the beasts encircling Karu Sil, while they tear his vest off. He gives one of them a good crack, and it runs to her for comfort, while she smacks Guy but good. Guy ends up with John and Hal, when in an utterly chilling scene, we see dozens of emptly rings go whizzing past. Realizing this is NOT a good thing, they all head post haste for the Sciencells, which are then rocked by a massive explosion.

The red suneater that was imprisoning SBP is now gone, and in its place is the yellow outline in fire of Parallax, which silhouettes all the dead bodies of the Lantern guards.

Crappity crap crap. Oddly enough that is about what Guy says.

Back on Qward, Kyle has finally been subdued, although he has certainly given it his best shot. Sinestro of course is in his element and REALLy enjoying himself. He starts pontificating, calling John angry, Guy dim, and Hal thrill-seeking. He makes fun of the Guardians and then reallys starts to get into it, by reaching into Kyle's chest and pulling out the living embodiment of Willpower that gave Kyle his Ion powers. Kyle is seriously screwed now of course, but he's still spitting defiance at Sinestro, who then informs him that it was one of his minions, Despotillis that killed Kyles' mother, and that it is ALL KYLE'S FAULT! He then gives Kyle to...Parallax!



Cool indeed.

Sinestro then takes Kylellax down a hallway to meet with his Master.

Ulp.

I think that the Universe is in BIG trouble.

Finally, Dave Gibbons and Geoff Johns give us another chapter in the Tales of the Sinestro Corps, with Lyssa Drak, keeper of the book of Parallax, tells the tale of Sinestro, from HIS point of view. In Sinestro's eyes, he's the hero, who was betrayed by Hal Jordan and the Guardians. The Universe is a messy and scary place, and it needs order, not chaos. He was the greatest of the Green Lanterns, and who knows, perhaps he will be again!

Scary eh? I'm going to be looking at all the little nuances and character interaction and questions and blogging about them for a month! Thank you Mr. Johns!

Blue Beetle #16

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you all thought I was going to go with Sinestro Corps. And I will. I just want to let it simmer for a while. In the meantime, I'm going with Jaime, because I just love him to death.

We begin, with Jean/Eclipso beating up on some people and trying to steal their baby. It is Eclipso's theory that he/she needs an innocent body, one without the emotional baggage that most of his/her bodies have had in the past. So baby-stealing seems like a very good idea. Until Traci Thirteen shows up.

Now I must admit that I am only a little familiar with the lovely Traci, and that is mostly from reading about Dr. Thirteen's adventures in that gawdawful Spectre book a while back. But she is quite awesome, and apparently has been hanging out with the Croatoans, which is possibly a fun thing to do.

Anyway, Jean/Eclipso is NOT amused and tries to roast Traci, who manages to teleport into Jaime's family business. He and Paco had just been hanging out, and Jaime was trying to figure out how to find a girlfriend. And lo and behold, a hot teenage shows up out of the blue!

Paco of course starts yelling that Jaime has to wish for a Porsche...before it wears off! In the meantime, Traci gives Jaime her credentials, and then they are off with Paco trying to find the Posse. Traci and Jaime are in the back seat, and she's filling them in, and even makes a little reference to Ralph that made me choke up a bit. It's obvious that the two of them have hit it off pretty well, which is rather fun.

Unfortunately, the Posse isn't doing so well, as Jean/Eclipso has put a whammy-jammy on them. Jaime armors up, and disrupts the magic, which knocks him out, but saves them. That's when they realize why Jean/Eclipso is after the baby, and they need to find the nearest consecrated ground, which turns out very handily, to be an old deserted church.

Jean/Eclipso is just about to rip the little mite's heart out, when in busts Jaime, complete with sword and shield, and just looking baddass. Jean/Eclipso isn't too impressed, and they engage in some witty banter, or at least what passes for banter, which according to Jaime, just "...banter. Sucks. So much!"

Traci is trying to get the baby, but the magical circle that Jean/Eclipso has placed around the child keeps her out. Paco of course steps up to the plate, and goes in for the kid. He can't get out however, unless, due to a lot of magical mumbo-jumbo he fights Blue Beetle. Jean/Eclipso gets ready to lose the deepest, darkest fantasies of Ultimate Power, housed in the body of Jaime, and warns Paco that he's about to die at the hands of his Dearest Friend!

Witness the Monster within the Blue Beetle!!!



Seriously, it was at this point that I completely lost it and almost fell off of the couch laughing. God I LOVE this book.

Yes, Jaime's deepest, darkest desire...is to become a dentist. The total look of bafflement on Jean/Eclipso's face just fills me with delight. Paco then clocks Jaime, and gets out of the magic circle WITH the baby. Jean/Eclipso is just about beside himself/herself, but then Traci steps up with her cool stolen Staff of Arion, not to mention some of Jaime's hero's blood and goes to town on Jean/Eclipso's ass.

Jean/Eclipso just can't quite figure out why he/she is having so much trouble with these meddlesome kids, nor why this seems so personal for Traci.

Well, it turns out that she used to hang out with not only Ralph, but Sue Dibny, and that she loved them...very much.

Go Dibnys!

The upside, is that Jean/Eclipse is defeated, at least for the moment, and Paco has the baby, and Traci and Jaime discover that they really like each other. Really. A whole lot.

I love a happy ending.

I Hate Tony Stark

This is probably not news to you, but ever since Civil War, I have REALLY come to loathe and despise Tony Stark. He wasn't my favorite Marvel character to begin with, but he wasn't bad. NOW he's bad.

I can live with the idea of a hero turning into a villain I supopse. When Guy Gardner was newly awakened from his three-year coma by the renegade Guardians, he went through a stint of almost out-right villainishness. In his defense, he WAS a bit on the brain-damaged side, and it has to be admitted that Hal was being a first-class jerk. He probably shouldn't have tried to kill Hal during the whole Crises thing, but come on! If Guy really wanted to kill Hal, he'd be dead! Then he turned into an anti-hero, and things started to improve.

But Tony Stark? As far as I know, he's not brain-damaged, and if they blame the whole mess on Skrulls, I think that my head will explode. Besides, Tony has always been a bit on the dickish side. Lately however, I think that he's giving Lex Luthor a run for his money, when it comes to being a power-mad billionaire. I know that Lex was President once, but I'm not certain that even he had as much raw power as Stark seems to be flaunting at the moment.

The hypocrisy of the whole thing is starting to really get on my nerves too. They had Cap surrender due to the property damage and danger to innocent civilians? Um...ok. Funny how that hasn't been much of a priority for the Registration forces since however. Letting REAL criminals go in order to hunt down and imprison non-Registered heroes? Talk about not being able to see the forest for the trees!

I'm also not buying the premise that Stark doesn't have anything to do with the Thunderbolts. Please. Tony's got his little iron pinkies into EVERYTHING at the moment. Norman Osborne can't fart without Stark knowing about it. Which of course makes all the things that the psycho-Thunderbolts do, ultimately be the responsibility of Tony Stark.

I hope...I really really hope that Hulk rips his little mustached head off. That Thor comes back and kicks his butt. That the Winter Soldier does some serious damage. This is not very nice of me, and I understand that. But Tony Stark is not a very nice person either. Or Skrull. Or whatever. I do know that in the DC universe, if he tried to pull the shenanigans that he's getting away with in the Marvel Universe, Superman and the Justice League would have fixed his little red wagon.

Boy am I cranky today! Must be the heat, it's over 90 in New England, and all the weather people keep telling us the "heat index" and how much worse it really is. They do the same thing with the "chill factor" in the winter. Morons.

Hallelujah!

Yes, Brothers and Sisters, I have cast off the shackles of Victorian and Edwardian repression, and stepped firmly into the Future! Hello, Roaring Twenties! After more than thirty years, I have CUT my hair! I have cast off my corsets and petticoats, and soon will riding in a "roadster" and listening to "jazz", while drinking bathtub gin. I'll still wear gloves and a hat to go out and get the paper and the mail, because even I have standards, but all those cloche hats in the attic are going to FIT now!

A number of times in my misspent youth, I was informed that I rather resembled Linda Carter. Those days are past me now, but I DO have Soranik Natu's hairstyle. And I'll need a lot less shampoo.

Moving right along:


This is a very cool picture of Soranik, by Pat Gleason.

I like Soranik. I've liked her from the start. She's smart, talented, slightly superstitious, but extremely competent and she doesn't take guff from anybody, including Guy Gardner, Salakk, Kilowog and Iolande. I like her costume too, she's actually covered instead of flying all over the universe in a bikini or mini-skirt.

I really like the fact that she's gone back incognito to Korugar, trying to do her small bit to educate and help people. She and Guy were the ones who figured out what was wrong with Mogo! I'm beginning to think however, that it wasn't Despotillis that was infecting Mogo at all. It was described as a fungus, and Despotillis is a virus. I'm more inclined to think that it was Despotillis that infected Kyle's Mother, since Soranik was helpless when it came to that diagnosis, and she was able to winkle out what was the problem with Mogo pretty darned quickly. Sinestro has all sorts of tricks up his sleeve!

Well, pip pip and all that. I've gone with the other Sufferagettes to handcuff ourselves to the railngs outside of DC and demand the vote.

I've been Tagged!

Ok, Matt from over at "Another damn comic blog" has tagged me. I am supposed to tell you all eight things about myself, and then tag another eight people. Gadzooks!

1...I hate talking on the phone. I do not own a cellphone. I do not plan to own a cellphone. I do not know how to text message. I'm lucky I can get on the computer for heaven's sake! I can possibly see the utility of a cellphone if you have broken down on the side of the Mass Pike, but that's about it. As much can be stated with a card, delivered properly by a footman by carriage as can be said on a cellphone.

2...Gravy. I LOVE gravy. Any kind of gravy. On just about anything or just mopped up with a piece of bread. Gravy is nature's most perfect food. Heck a simple bowl of gravy and a spoon is a darn fine idea.

3...I like antiques, and rearranging the furniture. This is a little hard on my dog, since she's old and mostly blind. It is also a bit hard on my husband and kids, when they come home late, and the lights are out. Oops.

4...I have an entire room in my house devoted to comics, their storage, my drawing table, and display space for the trades and collections and my action figures. I...I love my room.

5...I actually do have a gazebo, and furthermore, I use it. Still need to finish painting it to match the veranda on the front of the house though. It has lots of gingerbread trim, and I'm using four different colors...and so on and so forth.

6...Westerns have been quite neglected lately in both comics and movies/television. Thank goodness for Jonah Hex. I really wish that I could find all those thirty-year old Lt. Blueberry's, but they are all published in French, dagnabit.

7...I have naturally curly dark hair, that is starting to go grey. Or as I prefer to refer to it, as going slowly...ever so slowly, platinum blonde. I can also roll my tongue AND turn it over, AND touch my nose. I also have very dainty ears.

8...I love comics far more than any sane woman should.

So...should I tag in return? Diamondrock, you look pretty vulnerable, as does Kalinara, Shelly and Ragnell. FoldedSoup is now is trouble, along with Bully and Rachelle. I know that's not eight, but I'm tired.

And in closing:


Guy Gardner, as depicted by the inimitable Pat Gleason. Ain't it purty?

Strange things lurk in the Dollar Boxes.

So...I was perusing the bargain boxes at my beloved local Comic book shoppe, and stumbled upon a few gems. Numbers 59 and 60 of Justice League International, which dated from December of '93 and January of '94. The first one shows an enraged Power Girl punching out Hal Jordan...although there was something odd about the way that his hair was portrayed. I started thinking to myself, "what the heck" and bought them.

Well! This turned out to be quite an interesting little story! It was written by Gerard Jones and Will Jacobs, both writers that I admire. Drawn by Ron Randall, whom I am completely unfamiliar with and alas, for good reason, the art is pretty horrible. Of course this WAS during the 90's.

Our story begins with Wally trying to hunt down Hal Jordan, whom he saw on tv, and for some reason thinks that he looks familiar. Hal is a car mechanic, but he too has the odd feeling that he knows Wally. They go off to find some guy named Rex Mason who has written a book and is apparently an archeologist. At the museum where they track him down, is a large ornate sarcophogas, which when opened, holds the slumbering form of Power Girl. Things are starting to get really weird at this point, when Green Lantern shows up. Hal is so thrilled to meet Guy Gardner that he can hardly contain himself. Just then Power Girl wakes up, yells 'Arrrrggghhhh" and starts punching Green Lantern around. Rex yells out "Kara" and suddenly she knows all of them.

Obviously something is seriously awry.

Then some weirdo in a tophat and opera cape comes staggering in, named Erewhon, who is apparently the only one who knows who they really are, and what is going on. He even knows that Guy Gardner is the Green Lantern's secret identity! Of course they all start freaking out, yelling and running around and in general behaving like idiots. Business as usual. What is REALLY strange, is that Guy is the voice of reason here...he's calm, polite and very efficient. They decide to start investigating Erewhon's theories that time has been derailed, and wants to start with Hal, who chickens out.

So somehow, through his ring, Guy is able to transport them back in time to the precise moments when they were supposed to recieve their various powers. Some large pink bald guy keeps showing up with a strange gun, which messes everything up. Wally gets hit with the chemicals and lightning, but it doesn't do anything for him. Rex gets exposed to the rock that gave him his powers...except that it doesn't. The others are beginning to think that Erewhon is a fake, but Guy realizes that nothing is working, because Hal is the oldest, and they really should have started with him first.

So then we go to the next issue, and Guy is insisting that they go to Hal's origin. Hal is being a wuss about things for some reason, and it turns out that he doesn't want to become Green Lantern because it means that Guy WON'T, and he admires him too much to do that to him. Apparently Erewhon explained to Hal that Guy loses his marbles in the proper time stream. When Hal explains this to Guy, he's quiet for a minute, and then says that it doesn't matter, they have to restore time the way that it is supposed to be, and what happens to him isn't really important.

Back they go, and Hal does indeed meet up with Abin Sur and is given the ring. Guy is naturally feeling a little on the depressed side, so he beats the crap out of the large pink bald fellow. Then WHAMMA JAMMA, in a flash of light, they are back in the correct time period, with all of their identities and everything back to normal. This is a group that consists of Metamorpho, Power Girl, Hal, Wally, Dr. Light, an extremely large hairy beasty sort of guy (Tasmanian Devil?) and some chick with a bow. There is a very long and rather involved fight scene, where they defeat the bad guy of course.

Then who should show up, but Guy Gardner, who is in his yellow ring era, with the blue jeans and cowboy boots. Of course, he's just as obnoxious as he can be, and keeps calling Hal a wimp, in his usual charming manner. Hal however, remembering what Guy gave up to save all of them, goes over and shakes his hand and thanks him for being the greatest hero of them all. Guy is understandably quite confused about this, and just says "Huh?"

It all ends with a cliffhanger showing Crimson Fox on the last page. WHY this is supposed to be so shocking, I can't tell you, but I sure am going to go and look through those same boxes next week, and try and find out.

In your face, Hal!

Random Mutterings

All kinds of interesting things have been going on this week in the wacky world of comics. But first, I have to say that I am now the proud owner of John Stewart's autograph! Yes indeedy! My son Chris went to Six Flags,New England yesturday with some friends, and managed to visit the Hall of Justice. He was asked by the Justice League if he liked comic books, to which he replied "no, he likes Yu-Gi-Oh cards, but his Mother LOVES comics". When further pressed, he admitted that I like Green Lantern the best, so I got an autograph from John Stewart, COMPLETE with a little drawing of a Lantern insignia. In order to keep Wonder Woman from crying however, Chris also kindly pointed out that I also like the Justice League, so I got autographs from Wonder Woman and the Flash as well. No Batman, but he's just an old poopy-pants anyway.

Hoohah!

Well, The Brave & the Bold finally came out, and it was deightful as usual. Lobo, Supergirl AND Destiny! An odd, but strangely impelling combination. Plus Blue Beetle just ...sort of...shot Batman!

Seriously, this cracks me up. Supergirl just pulled a Guy Gardner on Lobo! He's really going to have to start asking for the cash up front. And next issue, is more Green Lantern goodness!

I haven't been reading too much Marvel lately...I find it to be too depressing, but I did enjoy this particular view of Hercules, who has been having a little tussle with the Hulk.

That's one find behind! Not quite up to GL standards, but perfectly acceptable.

This is probably why I find that access to my blog has apparently been rated "R" for outrageous content or something. I have used the words; "death", "slap", "pissed" and "zombie". Won't SOMEONE think of the children?

Finally, the JSA/JLA teamup was ok. I'm glad that Wally is back with Linda and the kids, but I'm with Ragnell on this particular point...couldn't they have introduced Wally's family? Last time they were seen, those kids were babies. There are probably a few readers who don't have a clue as to who they are either. I realize that they may have been presented to the Leage and Society off-page, but why oh WHY is all the interesting stuff going on off-page lately? I'm STILL pissed that I've never gotten my Guy/Kilowog/Arisia reunion.

Uh oh. Just used the word "pissed" again. That won't help my rating.

Flashback Time!

So...I was sitting around with nothing much to do, and took my stack of the most recent Green Lantern books and decided to read them all in one lump. This is a very satisfying thing to do, I have discovered, because with all the time between issues, it is all to easy to forget what happened a couple of months ago.

In the latest issue of Green Lantern #20, there has been a great deal of discussion concerning the idea that the Zamorans have discovered that there is a whole spectrum of colors and corresponding emotions. There is a lovely two-page spread of a cool looking chamber with the Green Lantern in the center, and the other colors radiating out from it, with the Purple/Pink of the Star Sapphire on one side, and the yellow of the Fear-inducing Sinestro Corps on the other.
Naturally everyone has been speculating on the other colors still to be discovered.

Go back to issue #6 of Green Lantern. I think that I've discovered another one of the colors/emotions/states of being. This was the issue drawn by Simone Bianchi, where Hal ends up battling Black Hand. Well, first he's fighting the Shark and is being nagged by Hector Hammond, and these weird little German-speaking Gremlins. Turns out that they are Kroloteans, and their hobby is technological and biological re-engineering. Black Hand in the meantime has discovered after being grabbed by the little nasties, that he can regenerate his missing hand, which also has developed a death touch. The more people he sucks the life out of, the more powerful his hand becomes.

Black Hand is particularly pissed off at Hal, since it was Hal as the Spectre who took his hand off in the first place. He also doesn't think that it is really fair that Hal got to be dead and come back. He's obviously not familiar with comic books!

Black Hand..."You think you're strong. But Death is stronger. It is the pure power of the far end of the emotional spectrum. The emptiness of space. The blackest night."

Holy Crap! THAT rings a bell! Remember in Green Lantern #11, when Hal is petitioning the Guardians to go and see if the other Lanterns he "killed" are still alive? The Guardians are pooh-poohing his beliefs, and state that Tomar Tu's point of origin was from outside their appointed sectors...from sector 3601...the BLACKEST night! And all the other Guardians then glare at the poor doofus of a Guardian who let THAT slip!

Then Hal and Black Hand continue their fight in a cemetary in Coast City. No irony THERE! Black Hand keeps harping on Death, and Hal declares defiantly that he's not afraid of Death. Black Hand replies that he sure hates it though. Hal digs a faux grave for Black Hand and dumps him in it.

Black Hand then says..."Death has power. It's the true color of the Universe. The most wonderful color. It's m-m-my color."

Even more strangely, the stump of his freshly removed hand is all purpley-pink.

I think that we've found another one of our colors for the Zamaron's chamber. Is Geoff Johns sneaky or what! Like Dave Gibbons in Green Lantern Corps, he's been leaving clues all along

September Solicits

I don't usually start drooling this far ahead of things, but I saw the DC covers for September up on Comic Book Resources, and I must admit that there looks to be some interesting things in store.

Firstly, this just fills me with unholy glee.


Boy, I do miss Hitman, it was loud and violent and rude, but also quite hysterically funny.

This also looks like it is going to be delightful.


I've been really enjoying Blue Beetle as of late...even though I still miss Ted.

Speaking of Ted, I'm sure that he'll be showing up sooner or later, but in the meantime, Booster has a little run in with...



Sinestro! Oh it just keeps getting better and better!

But now to get serious. All sorts of things are going on with my beloved Green Lanterns. THIS is one heck of a cover!
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Nice homage thing going on there, Mr. Reis! Hal Jordan, the King of Bling.

This is a little startling:
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Who the heck is that with Arisia and Salakk? I GUESS it may be Sodom Yat, or whatever his name may be, but for a minute I thought it was Kyle. Poor Arisia still hasn't found a costume that actually fits her yet, I see. What...no Guy on the cover?

This makes me VERY intrigued.


Nice to see Kyle again. Although there are these rumors about Kyle and Parallax that are making me rather nervous. On the other hand, I suppose that it is DC's job to MAKE me nervous, and therefore desperate to buy their books. It's working, it's working!

This looks to be good old-fashioned action.

Gosh, I love this book. Hope Zinda is back by now.

And finally, this is almost too cute for words.


I know, there's a whole lot more, but these are some of my favorites. We are going to have Gail Simone on Wonder Woman, Dwayne McDuffie on JLA, all sorts of stuff going on with Green Lanterns and Sinestro, a new Booster Gold book, and Mark Waid on Flash. I'm just BRIMMING with optimism.

For a change of pace...

Wow! For a change, it isn't Superman who is being obnoxious, but Hal Jordan! And he's not fooling around either, but going for the big guns! I guess this answers the question about whether or not Green Lanterns can defeat Superman. Heck John Stewart did a pretty darned good job back in Rebirth, and that was without any fancy Kryptonite. All Guy would have to do is whip out that old Porno that Supes made with Barda and threaten to broadcast it, and Superman would be on his knees blubbering. Kyle? Well, Kyle would just have to show him his magnificent buttocks. And maybe tousle his hair a bit.

I can only assume that somewhere, Jimmy Olsen, is cheering, as is Barry Allen, considering what Superman did to HIM a few blogs back!

Dinah finally makes an honest man out of Ollie

Awww...isn't this just too cute for words?



In the last issue of Green Lantern, Ollie has finally broken down and proposed to Dinah. She hasn't given him an answer yet, and in solicits of Birds of Prey, it is suggested that perhaps Babs tries to talk her out of it. There is also going to be a Black Canary series, which is a good thing.

However, unable to stand the suspense, DC has given us solicits that seem to prove that yes, indeedy, they are getting married. There has been something of a fuss about this, with a lot of people stating that Ollie is a rogue and a scamp and not good enough for her.

This is absolutely true.

On the other hand, I am a complete sap and a sucker for a happy ending, so I am delighted that they are going to be tying the knot. Despite their ups and downs, they have been one of comicdoms most notable pairings...they've been making googoo eyes at each other for a LOOOOONG time. Furthermore, although he can be a bit of a cad, Oliver HAS seemed to settle down a bit lately...and about high time, if you ask me. So yes, I'll be buy ALL the wedding tie-ins and such.

They are even going to have a bachelorette party.



Why who is that flying out of the cake? None other than Superman himself. I wonder if Lois is in attendance, and is he going to start taking his clothes off? Or is he like Captain America, who thought that an Ecdysiast was a magician? And look, Peej and Barbara in the same room as one another! I hope that Ice is invited too, since Fire is there.

Is there going to be a separate book for the Bachelor party? THAT could be interesting if Hal and Roy are in charge of setting up the...entertainment. Heh heh.

I can't help thinking that there is going to be one interesting wedding party, with Mia, Connor, Roy, Lian AND Sin all taking place. They've already got one heck of a family there, it's about time they stopped living in sin and made it all legal. I DO rather hope that they will wear tuxes and party dresses instead of their costumes.

Better late than Never

I finally get around to posting my interview with Diamondrock. Ami Angelwings came up with idea, and then Kalinara took it and ran with it. So actually, this is Diamondrocks interview with ME, and it is finally time to get down to brass tacks.

Therefore:

1...You're trapped in a burning building but you can contact one hero for help. Your two choices are Spider-Man or Batman. Who do you call?

Spider-Man. I am sure that Batman would be grimly efficient and all, but he'd probably be all moody and lecture me about being dumb enough to be in the burning building in the first place. At least I could get a quip from Spiderman.

2....You've somehow been transported into CLUE: the Movie! You're drawing straws for pairs to search the house. Who are you paired with?

Man, it's been a while since I've seen this, but I'd have to go with Christopher Lloyd. Wasn't he a professor or something? No real reason, I just like Christopher Lloyd.

3...The Anti-Monitor is coming to destroy your world! Luckily, you happen to have a spare "Cosmic Treadmill" lying around and can escape. But you'll be trapped on that other earth forever! To what earth do you flee?

Um...one with Green Lanterns?

4...You're stranded in a Warzone. Things don't look so good. Which ex-Vet will you have to watch your back; Wild Dog or the Punisher?

Wild Dog all the way! He may be crazed, but he's pretty focused on just getting the bad guys. I find Punisher to be a bit more cavalier about racking up a body-count. Besides, if you can't trust a guy in a hockey mask, who CAN you trust?

5...You're in the Old West, there's a bounty on your head and Jonah Hex has tracked you down. He asks if you have any last words. What are they?

Well, being a woman, I'd cry a lot and offer to sleep with him for starters. Then I'd say I was FRAMED! And offer him money to go get the REAL bad guys for me. And show him my ankles. I have VERY nice ankles.

Gosh this is fun.

So it's my Birthday tomorrow, in addition to being Father's Day. Barbecue in the Gazebo time!My oldest daugter is visiting from Boston, and gave me a beautiful Green Lantern T-shirt. *sob* I'm just SO proud. I can honestly say that most other mothers don't get action figures or Comic-related wearing apparel. I raised them right!

And for no particular reason other than it makes me smile:



Just once can't somebody ELSE go clobber the bad guy?

Green Lantern Corps #13

Oh My Goodness! This is good. Really good. Fabulously good. All those sneaky little hints and clues that Mr. Gibbons and Mr. Gleason have been planting for the last thirteen issues come to a head, and it is wonderful.

When we last left Guy, he was on the run from the Lanterns, after being accused of the murder of Tanakata Z and Quond. Kilowog is all set to hunt him down and execute him. Vath and Issamot are going after him, and have teamed up with Mogo's partner, Bzzd. Bzzd is a fly, and he is cool. He's also pretty smart for a fly.

The plan is for the three of them together, to take down Guy. They catch up to him pretty quickly, because Guy is being a little distracted by the hallucination that Mogo whipped up for him, namely the image of his drunken, child-beating ass of a dead father. Vath, Issamot and Bzzd try to take Guy down, and STILL can't quite manage it. Guy's actually trying to talk to them (as well as fending them off) and it actually works for a change. It turns out that Issamot ran into Green Man when he was last on Mogo, and agreed with Guy that he was acting pretty weird.

Guy is the first one to realize that something isn't right with Mogo. He's never had to personally use Mogo's gifts, but he knows the theory, so when Mogo starts pulling out nightmares, he's bright enough to realize that something is seriously wrong. He also spots the little glowing bug thingies that have been infesting Mogo for the last thirteen issues, and gets his shields up in time. Too bad the rest of the Lanterns weren't so lucky, but they also had their guards down and were already in a fairly vulnerable state of mind.

Bzzd goes off to investigate, after some initial skepticism, and they realize that they aren't bugs, they are a fungal spore, and that Mogo is being infected big time. Vath is still skeptical, and suggests that they call in a doctor. Guy is way ahead of him of course, and right then Soranik Natu shows up. Soranik remembers the little glowy thingies too, and starts investigating. So, Mogo of course hits them all with the hallucinations. Guy's Dad is still chasing him, Soranik is confronted by dead bodies, Vath by Thanagarian soldiers, and Issamot by Rannian soldiers. A little bit of irony there! Even Bzzd is being menaced by a bigger yellow bug. They manage to fend the apparitions off and realize that they've got to get rid of the infection. They are even smart enough to access Oa and find out if any other Lanterns have been exposed. The most recent visitors were Green Man, Tanakata Z and...

...Kilowog. There is an absolutely gorgeous full page shot of Guy standing in the forground with a VERY menacing Kilowog standing behind him, complete with little glowing spores . Scary as heck. Kilowog has also been infected and filled with unreasoning rage is trying to kill Guy...his best friend. He keeps calling Guy a Murderer, which rather confuses Soranik, but Guy points out that the only one trying to kill anyone is obviously Kilowog. Vath and Issamot try to occupy Kilowog while the others try to find and get rid of Mogo's infection.

Issamot and Vath are both good soldiers and good Lanterns, but they've obviously bit off a bit more than they can chew. Kilowog is bringing in the spectres of his own destroyed world, and is being all scary and badass. Soranik and Guy meanwhile have discovered that the infection is a lot more massive than they had originally thought. Bzzd meanwhile comes up with a really splendid idea. He may be tiny, but he packs a mean wallop in that his venom can take down a Thungoronian Ironbeast. I don't know what that is, but it sure sounds impressive. The three of them rush back to help Vath and Issamot and it's a darned good thing. They all manage to hold down Kilowog long enough for Bzzd to sting him, and down he goes.

Soranik goes to work on Kilowog, trying to get rid of the infections, when suddenly all this yellow glop erupts from his mouth and coalesces into this giant gooey yellow sentient monster, who starts to say that "Mogo belongsss to Sssssin...Nnoooooooooo!" Sinestro eh? He doens't get a chance to finish, either they zap him, or he gets pulled back by Sinestro to Qward, I'm not sure which.

Mogo starts to communicate at this point, he finally realizes what has been done to him, and is taking measures to fix it. He tells the rest of the Lanterns to get away, because he's put himself in the path of an asteroid...the impact will burn out the infection and cure him. The others get the heck out of the way, just in time. The asteroid...which has some rather interesting purple crystalline structures on it...hurtles into Mogo in a cataclysmic explosion. That is one of the reasons why Mogo is just so awesome! It takes serious attitude to collide with an asteroid for a little self-surgery!

Subsequent scans show that everyone is clean, with the central mass of neural energy cut off, the residual infestations withered away. Both Guy and Salakk believe that this wasn't a fluke, there was planning and malevolence behind it. Green Man is properly ashamed, and Kilowog is back in his right mind. There is a lovely bit where Vath and Issamot apologize to Guy for suspecting him, and he just smiles and says he'd have done the same...except HE'D have slapped their asses in jail before they could have blinked. Which is true of course. Heh.

Finally, Soranik visits Mogo and tells him that he's all right now, the infection is gone. She even connects with Bzzd, which is rather nice.

I must say that the art and the coloring are simply superb. There is a giant crator on Mogo now, where the asteroid hit, and the final page shows Mogo in space, backlit by a star, showing the ravages of the asteroid on his surface. The star glows in yellow, and there are swirls and gasses in space in purple...all of which is quite ominous as well as gorgeous.

A VERY satisfying issue. Next up, is the Sinestro Corps!

Two, two, two posts in one!

First off, thanks to Diamondrock, it is once again Thursday Night Thinkers! This is rather tough for me, since my favorite characters are more of the "hit first, think later" persuasion. However, I think (haw!) that I've come up with a possible candidate for this evening's entry.



Oh that Superman! What a card!


Secondly, Kalinara has a meme going around. She asks five questions, and I must answer. And I must say, that I think she put some extra-special effort into my questions!

1. "If you could slap one hero or villain in the DCU, who would you slap, and why?"

Why this is a deam come true! Hal Jordan of course. I FREQUENTLY want to slap Hal...it's not because I don't love him, because I do, but he's just so damned annoying sometimes! I'm STILL pissed that he conned Guy into following him to Biot after lying to him, and then stood there like a stump and didn't say a word while Guy covered for him with the Guardians, and then took off, and left Guy to face punishment in his place! So, a heft SLAP right across the kisser to Hal.

2. "Which hero would you least trust babysitting your kids?"

Kyle. Hands down. I don't think that Hal would be any great shakes either, but Kyle would probably start drawing and forget that they were there, and they'd start rooting under the sink and drinking all the cleaning liquid or something. Or he'd take them to the zoo, and let them play with the nice tigers. Kyle's sweet, and he'd be sorry, but he does have this rather...irresponsible side to him.

3. "If Barry and Ice teamed up, would the resulting overdose of niceness kill most of the DCU, or just Guy Gardner?"

Man, this is a tough one. Barry and Ice together could give Mary Marvel a case of diabetes. Even Superman would be getting queasy. Guy would have to go to Oa and not come back until it was safe. Batman's head would probably explode. On the other hand, they'd make the various villains so overcome by all the niceness, that they'd be easy pickings for the rest of the Justice Society, or League or Titans or whatever. And then ice-cream sudaes for ALL!

4. "If you could borrow Alfred ofr a day, what would you have him do?"

Why, we would polish up the silver, bake scones and have a FABULOUS Tea Party in the parlor...or possibly out in the gazebo. And he'd tell me all the juicy Bat gossip.

5. "Guy Gardner; great Lantern or GREATEST Lantern?

Oh Kalinara, my dear...do you even have to ask? GREATEST Lantern of course! Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it Hal! Guy just helped save MOGO for cryin' out loud! And did it with style.

Let's pick on Barry some more

Now way back when, Hal Jordan and Barry Allen were the very bestest of friends. Hal however did have this rather bad habit of mooching off of Barry, but Barry, being a very nice man, didn't mind. Barry also had a nice young sidekick named Wally, aka Kid Flash. No, NOT Speedy, he belonged to Ollie. Although with a name like "Speedy" you'd think he'd be a Flash. This used to confuse the heck out of me in my considerably younger days.

Anyway,



Hal is doing his very best to impress Kid Flash. Hal always has to impress SOMEBODY, and there wasn't a woman around at that precise moment. And Barry doesn't mind, look, he's all smiles and rainbows. Of course later on, Kid Flash loses his powers trying to save Barry, and Hal jumps in and makes him a Jr. Green Lantern, which makes Wally very happy, and makes Barry a little sad. Why can't Hal go get his OWN sidekick? Eventually however, Wally gets his powers back, and tells Hal no thanks, and Barry and Wally are happy again. Happy happy happy. Hal probably wanders off to get laid or something.

This seems to be a recurring theme

More Flash goodness. And more of Superman being a jerk, which of course means, it's the Silver Age! Whatever would we do without it? For a change, I am NOT showing Hal being hit in the head. However...



...This is almost as good. Poor old Barry, just cruisin' along, not a care in the world, and BAM!
He's going to have a hard time explaining the bruises to Iris, I can tell you that.

Flash Butts Forever?

There is a reason, that I have chosen to glorify Green Lantern behinds as opposed to those of the Flash menagerie. It isn't that I'm not fond of the various Flashes. I absolutely adore Jay of course, I'm rather fond of Barry, he was just so sweet. Wally is probably my favorite, mainly because I'm the most familiar with him, and he was such a smart-ass. I don't mind Bart too much, although I much prefer him as Impulse.

But THIS is the reason that Flashes, will NEVER be able to compete with Green Lanterns.



Oh the horror! That is one HUMONGOUS backside! I don't even know who the hell that is, but it is NOT flattering! Terrifying perhaps, but not flattering.

On the other hand, the Green Lanterns produce things like this:



Go Kyle! Flaunt that gluteus maximus! We even get several angles, which is always a treat.

Green Lanterns vs. Flashes? No contest.

See you all on Monday

And it's off to the State Games for the Special Olympics, being held in lovely New Haven, Connecticut. Too bad it's so drizzly outside. We're hoping it clears up in a bit. Yes, fresh from our triumph at the Regionals, Chris is competing at the BIG table this time. They really do put on a nice show for the kids, they stay for a couple of nights at the dorms of Southern Ct. State College, they have skydivers, and dancers and a lot of hoopla on Friday night, and then a dance and movie on Saturday night, and finish up on Sunday afternoon. Like MOST of the kids however, Chris is mostly concerned with his next meal. *sigh*

See you all on Monday!

Birds of Prey, #107

Yahoooo! Oh, this was loads and loads of fun, and I DON'T mean that in a sarcastic way, but in a happy and delighted way. All kinds of fantastic things happen, the dialogue is a hoot, and the art is lovely.

When last we left our intrepid heroes, the Birds were all fighting the Secret Six, and Ice had woken up, and was VERY cranky. Well...Ice is STILL cranky and the rest of them are starting to realize that fighting amongst themselves may not be the smartest move they can make. Oracle is still feeling a bit on the helpless side, since Spy Smasher has basically hi-jacked her whole operation, and Zinda is moping because she's feeling left out.

What I find to be an amusing thing is that practically all of the various opponents are flirting quite madly with each other...in their own special ways of course. But Catman and Huntress are just adorable together, and I really do hope that they don't drop this burgeoning relationship.



Catman has just admitted to Huntress that they may be a team of A-holes, but they aren't really that bad, and they didn't know they were supposed to be kidnapping a slightly confused Ice Princess. Huntress relents...who could say no to that face, and now they only need to get the rest of their merry horde under control.

Meanwhile, General Kerimov is busy gloating and planning a little murder and mayhem. He wants to go to Ice and manipulate her some more. He's also sent in a team of old-fashioned Rocket Reds to wipe out BOTH the Secret Six and the Birds. Huntress knows that they have to stop fighting each other, and pay attention to the more immediate peril, but Barda and Knockout are just having too much fun whuppin' each other. And Ice isn't backing down either.

Huntress is doing her best to talk some sense into her, but it's not working until Oracle comes up with a cunning plan.



Whoohoooo! Guy's not even THERE, and he ends up saving the day! The thought of Guy is enough to jolt Ice back to reality, and our sweet little Ice Goddess is back! Then that nasty ol' General shows up, and it's pretty obvious that he's been manipulating Ice all along, and isn't about to stop. So Deadshot takes matters into his own hands.



I'm sorry, there's probably something wrong with me, but I find that hilarious. Sometimes it's just more fun being the bad guys. Barda and Knockout have in the meantime fought to a draw more of less, and end up clasping hands, and enjoying themselves thoroughly. So...Zinda shows up in a (probably) stolen van and invites them all to hop in, so that they can get the heck out of there, and back to the plane. Spy Smasher, with her innately terrible sense of timing, yells at her, because she was supposed to wait with the plane, she didn't obey orders...and she's fired.

What? Zinda looks incredulous, and then she looks angy, and of course Spy Smasher just WON'T shut up, and then...


Way to go Zinda! That's how a Lady Blackhawk rolls! Spy Smasher of course, being stupid as well as overbearing goes for her guns, but turns out that Zinda has her covered already. She also tells her to take her operation and shove it. Huntress tries to help, but Zinda isn't having any of it, turns and walks away into the trees. She'd rather walk home than ride with Spy Smasher. And you know what? I'd bet money that next issue, Zinda shows up safe and sound!

Spy Smasher tries to bloviate a little more, and Huntress tells her to sit down and shut up, and lo and behold, she does it. Huntress also gets on the horn to Oracle and tells her that she's got to DO something about Spy Smasher. Meanwhile, Misfit is acting as stewardess for everyone on the plane.


Oh Ice, you sweet sweet thing. And finally, Oracle tells Huntress not to worry, and that she wants to have a little...chat with Spy Smasher when they get back.

I really hope that they keep some of the great character moments going that Gail Simone established here, the budding attraction between Catman and Huntress is great, I am surely hoping that Oracle delivers a comeuppance of epic proportions to Spy Smasher, and if Guy and Fire don't show up to greet Ice, I'll be GREATLY annoyed.

Thursday Night Thinking

This little idea is the latest brainstorm of Diamondrock, from over at "Title Undetermined". Instead of kicks to the face, the villains have to come up with a cunning plan. I like this idea very much. Very much indeed. It also means that I don't have to work to hard at coming up with something else to write about. Thanks, Diamondrock!

Therefore,



I don't know what kind of cunning plan is about to be postulated, but they had me at "chicken".

Stream of Conciousness strikes again

Considering that I had to read "The Sound & the Fury" by William Faulkner in High School...and I HATED it, I sure do seem to be using this wandering and mainly meandering way of writing a lot lately. This is supposed to disguise the fact that I don't have a CLUE.

On the other hand, it IS Wednesday, and that is always a plus. Man, having to wait an extra day last week was a severe strain on my patience, and that is taking into effect that I actually like Memorial Day, and went to the parade and everything. I believe that there is some decent stuff coming out today, but no Green Lantern Corps, which saddens me. I am however, dying for Birds of Prey.

Now this picture just cracks me up.

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For some reason, I'm convinced that Hal has a tin ear. If the Green Lanterns ever got a band together, I don't think they'd let him anywhere NEAR it. I've heard the Roy Harper can play the drums, so he could be in it, and I imagine for some reason that Kyle and Guy can actually play guitar. John Stewart on keyboards of course. Maybe Kilowog on base. Hal and Ollie would have to sit crying in their beer, because the other kids won't let them play. Haw!

Speaking of Hal, here's a lovely shot of him, being bonked with some bad guy's knee.



His KNEE? Oh Hal.

GAL GARDNER: Warrior, #42

Yes, you read that right...GAL Gardner. This is the infamous issue titled "A Gender Bender in the Blender". It is also one of my favorite issues. Beau Smith was in a particularly manic mood at this point...probably because he'd heard that they were going to cancel the book in only a few more issues, so he figured what the hell?



Yes, Guy wakes up and stumbles his way into the bathroom, turns on the light and ...starts screaming at the top of his...er...her lungs. Everyone else comes piling into his room only to be confronted by a stunningly bodacious version of Guy.

So, they are all standing around trying to figure out just what the heck happened. A Fedex package shows up that Zinda signs for, and it turns out to be a note from none other than Dementor, who not only is responsible for Guy's present predicament, but has also taken hostages at a high-falutin' fashion show. If he wants to be changed back, Guy has to show up...ALONE! Of course it's a trap, and everybody knows that it's a trap, but really, what other choice does he have really?



This, by the way, is Dementor. This isn't a panel from this particular issue, but it is a great depiction of him. He's the REALLY creepy and disgusting creature that is one of Guy's main villains throughout the Beau Smith run on the book. He's revolting of course, but he DOES have a completely horrifying sense of humor.



Guy is severely pissed of course, but he's not going to let something as unimportant as being transgendered get in his/her way. I also am completely delighted by the fact that this is one of the VERY rare instances when a hero/heroine changes bodies, that the female version is actually wearing MORE clothes than the male version.

At this point Martika shows up. Martika was introduced a few issues back, as the mind-controlling villainess. Since she can only control MEN'S minds, she is quite taken aback at the sight of Gal...er...Guy. He's going to go off and confront Dementor, but Martika spies the note that Dementor sent, and quietly purloins it, before stamping off in a huff.

Zinda then flies Guy over to the Fashion House in the every handy helicopter. Guy is still in shock of course, but he's handling his current status fairly well, all things considered. Zinda keeps asking if he's ok, and he says of course not, and stop staring! He also can't cross his arms. I will say, that the artist, Marc Campos gave Guy a truely splendiferous bosom. In fact, he's probably in the Power Girl category, which can't be adding to his state of mind. Heh.

Meanwhile, Dementor has murdered the designer, Mr. LaVour, and taken the audience and models hostage. Guy lands on the roof, and discovers that Dementor has left another note for him, so he/she busts down the door, figuring that subtlety isn't needed at this point. He/she shows up in the main room, mad as hell, not going to take it anymore. Unfortunately there isn't a whole lot that he/she can do, while Dementor is holding all those hostages.

Things get pretty weird at this point. Being a HUGE pervert, Dementor demands that Guy do a fashion show, so he has to strut around wearing all these ridiculous outfits. He's NOT happy about it, but his/her hands are tied at the moment...figuratively speaking.

Just then, who should break in, but Martika and her goon squad. Guy, who is currently wearing a French Maid's outfit gives a squeal...which just cracks me up. Martika is trying to control Dementor's mind, the way that she did back at the Christmas Party at Warriors, but this time he has his evil stepdaddy Mudakka there to help him. Being a very competent woman, Martika calmly has one of her goons shoot Mudakka dead. So much for mind control!

In the meantime, Guy has managed to free all the audience and the hostages. Martika also forces Dementor to turn him back into his old manly self. While Guy is relieved to be back in his own body, he's not particularly thrilled with Martika, since he's finally realized that she's working for Quorum...the outfit that killed his brother Mace, and has given him all kind of trouble. Martika doesn't care, she's trying to put the mental hoodoo on Guy again, when who should show up in the nick of time, but Veronna and Zinda. Veronna's mind-link with Guy saves him from Martika. He's about to grab the bad guys but Martika and Dementor manage to get away.

Veronna has been telling Guy for quite a while now that Martika was a BAD girl, and now he finally believes her. It's about time, Guy!

Kalinara has talked before about how much she likes this issue, and I must say that I agree with her. It's fun because Guy's personality and characteristics are just the same when he's a woman as when he's a man. He didn't suddenly gain any "female insights or sensitivity". He's just as rude and obnoxious and cranky as he normally is.

To this day, however, I do regret the fact that Hal Jordan never got to see Guy in his French Maid's outfit. Having Guy have to fend off a lustfilled Hal would have been hysterical.

While We're On a Roll: GG: Warrior #41

"Playin' with Fire" is the title to this issue, and it is, if anything, even funnier than the last one. Written (of course) by the ineffable Beau Smith, and drawn by Marc Campos AND Mike Parobeck!

First off, this is a very SPECIAL issue, since it is telling two stories at the same time. The top half of the book, is illustrated by Campos, and shows Guy and friends in all their 90's glory, attending a Toy Fair. Turns out that Buck Wargo has made a deal with Olivia Reynolds to market a "Warrior" toy line. This seems like perfectly good sense to me, and I sure do wish that I could buy them. Guy shows up in his "Warrior" personna, since they thought it would make a bigger splash for the buyers and such. I love how, in one of the first panels he snarls at some Power Ranger's wannabe for shoving him. Heh. Guy seems pretty resigned to having to perform at Buck and Olivia's dog & pony show, but he is rather startled to discover that they are also making a cartoon about him.

Meanwhile, the Quorum shows up with a fan full of bad guys, headed by some fool in a suit of armor, named DUNGEON! They proceed to beat people up, and try to take them hostage. Fire shows up, it turns out that she also signed over her rights to Buck for a deal, so she helps them beat up the bad guys, which they do rather handily.

Now, this is all well and good, but the FUN part is that at the bottom of each page, going concurrently with the story on the top, is the CARTOON version of Warrior, as drawn by Mike Parobeck. Guy shows up with G'nort, who sort of acts as the narrator. Guy is just so cheerful and manly and keeps saying "Peachy!" Veronna keeps throwing herself at him, and Buck accidentally lassos Wolverine from a neighboring toy stall, then throws him back as being "too small."

Of course there is a villain as well, and he's called..."THE DEBT"...'cause everybody owes him something. The DEBT attacks with his hoard, and they basically bonk everyone on the head with nerf bats or something. Buck realizes there is a fight, so he starts ripping his shirt. Then Fire shows up.
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In the serious part of the book, they grab Olivia as hostage, and Guy and Fire are busy flirting like mad through the whole thing. This does take place after their hot evening together on Christmas Eve.

In the cartoon part of the book, they attempt to grab Olivia but she decks them all. Then Guy and Fire stand around complimenting each other.

<

"Gravity powers!" Heh heh.

In the serious part, Guy and Veronna manage to rescue Olivia...and he and Fire are STILL flirting. Meanwhile in the cartoon part...

...they end up catapulting Olivia at THE DEBT! After all, it's PAYBACK TIME! Buck has to stop fighting, because his shirt has been completely ripped off, so now he has to start drinking instead. Olivia subdues the bad guy..."the DEBT has been paid!"

They've also caught and subdued the bad guy from the serious part. They aren't really sure what exactly brought the whole thing on, since they managed to capture him fairly easily...for the Quorum anyway. It turns out that the Quorum didn't really care if they caught DUNGEON or not, the whole point was to acquire some DNA samples from Guy. (cue the evil music)

Back in the cartoon, Olivia keeps hitting on Veronna, and Guy is still ogling Fire. He, Fire and Veronna wind up wandering off into the sunset in search of cookies and milk, while Buck just gets drunker. Peachy!

Finally, they all do end up back at Warriors, watching the cartoon that Olivia's company made. They all hate it of course, Arisia is complaining because she's not even in it, Buck is complaining because they have him drunk as a monkey through the whole thing, and Guy is complaining because he says it makes him look like Capt. Marvel. Bea is upset with Buck for conning her into signing the contract in the first place. They all want to have changes made, but can't because it is all set to air in only an hour.

Fire says she has to go, and Guy calls for her to wait up...er...uh, he has to walk her out. They have this awkward little moment, when they don't really know what to say, then Fire kisses him on the cheek and tells him to call her. And he smiles and says..."Peachy!".

This really was hilarious all the way through. They even show the action figures, although I couldn't find a scan for it, but they also have the descriptions.

Guy Gardner: Warrior...21 manly points of articulation!

Buck Wargo...Action cow chip throwing arm. (cow chip not included)

Tigerman...comes with furball hacking action and kitty litter box that transforms into a bazooka!

Veronna...skull-chrushing thighs.

Joey Hong...Action voice recites Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan quotes.

Rita Muldoon...Complete with 30 sets of wardrobe changes and matching guns.

Wildcat...Comes with cat-cycle with senior citizen parking pass.

Lady Blackhawk...Comes with peanuts (not edible) plus seat flotation devices and an in-flight
movie.

..."And remember, kids, for ever twenty dollar bill you take out of your Daddy's wallet and send to me...GOOD OLD G'NORT...I'll send you candid photos from the shower room at JLA headquarters, and a free figure of me,...GOOD OLD G'NORT...too!" (this offer only good for residents of Coast City"

You can tell that they were having a really really good time with this issue. Because that's not all! There is still more thigh-slapping humor on the letters page, in the form of a notice from Olivia Reynolds's company.

"And now, a message from our sponsor.
Ok folks, you got a sneak preview of someof the Warrior toys in this story, and as an added bonus, here's some of the other wonderful merchandise you can expect:

CLASSIC GUY GARDNER: GREEN LANTERN...Each figure is individually numbered. We dare you to find #2814. This one also says two phrases when you press his ring: "Guy Gardner, the One, True Green Lantern!" and "Hal Jordan's a Weenie!"

GUY GARDNER REBORN:...Includes cowboy boots and yellow ring. And says "Green Lanterns are wusses!" Plus the immortal "Hal Jordan's a Weenie!"

DEMENTOR:...This one's for the older kids because this ten-inch figure will repeat whatever you say and turn it into a foul-mouthed curse.

SLEDGE:...Push his back button, and his bulging rubber muscles will break any of your parents' expensive china, but don't just take our word for it. This figure is non-refundable.

GUY'S OLD INDIAN: Yup, an exact replica of the classic Indian motorbike that can be turned into a very deadly weapon since it uses real fuel. Fun for young and old.

****Send 10 proofs of purchase and receive the very special ARISIA doll. This one we dare you to break, slam her, smash her, even a big brick to the back won't put this one in the trash. This one's ideal for babies...although very harmful if swallowed.

This book was pretty much at the end of the run of Warriors...it was cancelled with #44, and I think that Beau and his cohorts just wanted to have some fun.

A Blast From the Past: GG:Warrior #40

As you can see, I've been snooping around in my long boxes again. And I have to admit that this particular episode from Guy Gardner: Warrior is one of my absolute favorites. Written by Beau Smith of course, and for a change, the art is by Aaron Lopresti, who does a bang-up job.

It is Christmas, and the day after the mind-blowing Christmas Eve Bash that they threw at Warriors last issue. That's the one where Martika shows up and then ditches Guy, the Spectre reunites him with the spirit of his dead father, so that they can have a little closure, Ice's mother, Queen Olaff shows up and gives him that lovely little ice statue of he and Ice, and John Constantine spikes the eggnog, so Fire ends up pretty well swacked. She and Guy actually decide that they should stop fighting and make up, they kiss under the mistletoe...

...and then we leap into the first page of this book. Guy's in bed, rolls over, and...surprise! There is Fire's boot! Apparently, fueled by booze and nostalgia, he and Fire spent the night rutting like weasels. Guy goes stumbling downstairs, to find the rest of his crew having breakfast, and in general a good laugh at his expense. Joey keeps checking him for burn marks, while Veronna is getting pretty snippy that he's doing the horizontal mambo with another woman.

And then, the voice of doom from the doorway. There is a lovely page of all of their reactions that I would love to include, but I don't have the scans for. Just read it, ok? Guy gets this look of combined horror and resignation that is depicted quite beautifully. And who is it, who is creating such terror in the eyes of the beholders? A new supervillain, or hideous monster from the depths?

No...it's his mom. All 200 pounds of red-haired fury in the flesh. Turns out that she's a bit miffed at him for accidentally destroying her house, not to mention getting her neighbor murdered and stuffed in her fridge, courtesy of Major Force. The icing on the cake is that Force ALSO stuffed her beloved kitty into the freezer. She yells at Buck Wargo to pay off the cab, and for Desmond to get her luggage, and for Rita to bring her a drink, "...and I DON'T mean soda pop!" She also informs Guy that she's moving in.

He is instantly reduced to the status of a five-year old, and it is hilarious. He's trying to reason with her, but it obviously isn't going to do any good. Mr. Fancy-Pants Super Hero indeed! Poor Guy just can't believe that this is happening to him, while Buck, not being a complete fool, immediately finds other business to attend to.

Turns out that a whole lot of interesting stuff has just been delivered, including one mysterious cannister from Zaire. Buck doesn't know what's in it yet, but figures it'll keep. But it turns out that someone else is also interested in that particular cannister, and it turns out to be none other than Gorilla Grodd, who sends in his ape lackeys to retrieve the cannister...or else. They succeed in infiltrating Warriors, grab the cannister and massacre a whole passel of security guards, although one of them is able to hit the alarm.

The resultant sirens wake up Guy, whose first thought is that Mom must have found the kitchen. He does manage to pull it together however, and they all assemble up on the roof, whlie Zinda flies them away in the helicopter. Buck always has tracking sensors installed in all of his shipping crates,which is clever of him, and they are able to track the missing canister to the Empire State Building, which I also find hilarious, considering we are talking about apes here.

Grodd wants the cannister because it holds the Totem of Blowtok, which will apparently somehow give him the power to spike the water system of Gorilla City and bend everyone's mind to his own evil will. Frankly I don't even care what his motivation is, I just want to have a fight with talking gorillas. By now, back in the helicopter, they've more or less figured out that the stolen cannister was from Gorilla City, and Guy points out that he was in the JLA long enough to know that they are dealing with the "Idi Amin of the Ape World...Gorilla Grodd!"

They arrive at the Empire State Building, only to discover that the apes have killed off all the tourists. This leads to one of my favorite quotes ever.

"Then I guess it's time to start spankin' some monkeys."

Yes Guy, it is MORE than time! There follows a just gorgeous two-page spread of all of them doing just that, with not dialogue, but a couple of thought boxes as Guy is musing on life in general.

"In a matter of seconds, I felt like I had been shoved into the worst Big Ape B-Movie ever made. The only things missin' were Charlton Heston, Fay wray and them stinkin' flyin' monkeys from the Wizard of Oz."

Guess what show up next? At which Guy moans that he's got to stop thinking out loud.

There are some lovely fight scenes and some equally lovely witty banter from all involved. Of course Guy finds Grodd, and they start in. Firstly, Guy keeps calling him Magilla, and then taunts him about losing to Catwoman. Grodd insists that it isn't his fault, it was due to the failure of lesser beings, and so on and so forth. He tries to take over Guy's mind, but Veronna realizes it from their shared mind link, and they have a tender mental moment. Gosh,but I miss Veronna!

So, Guy punches out Grodd and hauls him out, where he makes him stop the rest of his ape army. Unfortunately, his nasty son Drogg points out that they are still holding all the cards, since they've wired one of the apes full of explosives, and that they'll set him off, if they aren't allowed to leave...WITH the cannister they stole. The good guys can't chance the lives of all the people in the building, and reluctantly let them go, while Drogg leaves the control device for the explosives on the ground behind them, as they all take off in their gorilla ship. Immediately of course, they find that they've been double-crossed, the control device doesn't work, and the explosive Ape is just about to Blow!

Guy grabs the ticking Ape, and yelling that Grodd forgot something, he THROWS it at the departing ship, where it explodes with a very resounding KA-THOOM!! Guy just hates it when Apes lie to you.

So, they all pile back into the helicopter and Zinda flies them back to Warriors, where Guy remembers just who is waiting for him.

I really do miss Buck and Joey, Rita, Desmond and Veronna. They were such well-fleshed out characters, and we haven't seen them since DC cancelled GG:Warrior. It's a darned shame, and I keep hoping that they are lurking somewhere in the DC universe.

Just for the Heck of It.

Well, it's Saturday, and I really don't have time to be fooling around with this. So, I'm putting up a cover that just made me laugh when I first bought it. Heck, it STILL makes me laugh.



No tentacles.

A Review of Green Lantern #20

Firstly ignore those two other posts. I hit the wrong darned button. So, let's get to it.

That's a nice cover by Ivan Reis and Moose Bauman. Granted, Hal is ogling her bosoms, but I think we all know by now, that he just can't help himself. And the art on the inside is just as good, by Daniel Acuna, who also does the coloring. There is a painterly aspect to it, that appeals to me.

Well, the Zamorans have showed up, and are still bound and determined to conquer the universe with LOVE! And as much as he's been enjoying being Archie to Cowgirl's Betty, and Carol's Veronica, Hal is getting a little bit fed up. He goes up and engages the Zamorans while
Carol makes herself useful and manages to get the Star Sapphire off of Jillian(Cowgirl). The two of them manage to find some clothes...it is VERY handy that they are in the Honeymoon Hotel. In keeping with the "Archie" reference, Cowgirl even calls Carol "Veronica" which made me snicker. Of course Carol manages to give Cowgirl an "I am Easy" t-shirt to wear.

Meanwhile, the Zamorans are insisting that Hal chose between the two women, and that if he doesn't allow the Star Sapphire to love him, they'll force it on him. Hal responds, by saying that "No means NO, sweetheart." Heh heh. They are just about to crush his skull in, and I must say that there is a very nice portrayal of him with his teeth all gritted, when he goes and does the completely unexpected...he grabs one of the Zamorans and plants a huge wet one, right on her lips.

Cut to Carol and Jillian looking completely horrified and grossed out. Hal is grinning, and the Zamoran seems a bit bewildered, but it fools the Sapphire gem, and it immediately gloms onto the Zamoran. For some reason the other Zamorans are a bit peeved...especially since the new Star Sapphire whups their butts They decide that perhaps they need to rethink this whole thing, and Hal manages to free both Carol and Cowgirl...and they all decide that perhaps they could really use a drink.

So, they end up back at the pilot bar that got trashed in the first episode. Oddly enough, nobody seems to remember that Hal turned into Green Lantern. Maybe they just weren't paying attention, or maybe weirder stuff than that happens all the time, who knows? Cowgirl gets her cowboy hat back, which makes her very happy. The waitress comes over and asks what she can get them all, and in unison, Hal and Cowgirl say BEER, while Carol asks for a dirty Martini, which flusters the poor waitress. This in a nutshell seems to sum up the differences between Carol and Jillian. There is a little bit of awkward conversation, and then a rather strained silence amongst the three of them, where they all just sit there and eye each other. It is a rather poignant moment really.

At this point, Carol gets up and excuses herself, perhaps realizing that Hal really and truely has moved on. He and Jillian are polite, but you can almost hear the sigh of relief when they don't have to make conversation with Carol anymore. Cowgirl still is absolutely sure that Hal isn't hankering after Carol, but he states pretty matter-of-factly, that he's moved on too...and what is she doing on Saturday night? And they smile at each other.

Back on Zamaron, the ladies have managed to pry the Star Sapphire off of their sister, and have a much-needed conversation about their whole modus operandi. They realize that perhaps they've been just as single-minded as the Guardians, and decide to turn the Sapphires into...Rings. Then there is a FWASHH...and a purple battery shows up. They even have this rather cool room with a purple, green and yellow battery...and room for four more! Most interesting. They are going to try and combat the Prophecy...whatever that may be, so I'm still not sure if they are going to be on the side of the Guardians, or against them, but things will be hitting the fan in short order.

Finally, there is a rather nice scene where Hal goes to Ferris Air, just to check up on Carol and also to visit a bit with Tom, which is always nice. That's when we find out that Carol is newly divorced, which I suppose is a handy thing for Hal to know.

I have to say that the art just shone in this issue. Mr. Acuna draws a gorgeous version of Hal...in addition to everyone else as well. There is even a nice side butt shot near the end. These three issues were a bit of a romp to me, a chance for Hal to catch his breath and have some witty/snarky banter with some lovely women, before all the stuff with Sinestro comes crashing down upon him and the Green Lantern Corps.

There is also a backup story for the Sinestro Corps, by Mr. Johns, and Dave Gibbons that is fun. This time, they are telling the tale of Bedovian, who lurks inside of this shell construct, just waiting for prey to happen along. He hasn't eaten in 600 years, so he's a tad on the famished side, when he manages to snare this nice Miner. He drags him inside his shell and immediately starts to digest him, which is rather gruesome. Then he goes back to waiting. AND he manages to snag the yellow ring.

In the meantime, Amon Sur has to enter one of the Fear Lodges, in order to confront his own fear, and make it work for him, by re-igniting his ring. This is Sinestro's way of winnowing out the weak, I suppose. So he goes in, and we find that the thing that he is the most afraid of , is...Jordan.

Nicely done.