While We're On a Roll: GG: Warrior #41

"Playin' with Fire" is the title to this issue, and it is, if anything, even funnier than the last one. Written (of course) by the ineffable Beau Smith, and drawn by Marc Campos AND Mike Parobeck!

First off, this is a very SPECIAL issue, since it is telling two stories at the same time. The top half of the book, is illustrated by Campos, and shows Guy and friends in all their 90's glory, attending a Toy Fair. Turns out that Buck Wargo has made a deal with Olivia Reynolds to market a "Warrior" toy line. This seems like perfectly good sense to me, and I sure do wish that I could buy them. Guy shows up in his "Warrior" personna, since they thought it would make a bigger splash for the buyers and such. I love how, in one of the first panels he snarls at some Power Ranger's wannabe for shoving him. Heh. Guy seems pretty resigned to having to perform at Buck and Olivia's dog & pony show, but he is rather startled to discover that they are also making a cartoon about him.

Meanwhile, the Quorum shows up with a fan full of bad guys, headed by some fool in a suit of armor, named DUNGEON! They proceed to beat people up, and try to take them hostage. Fire shows up, it turns out that she also signed over her rights to Buck for a deal, so she helps them beat up the bad guys, which they do rather handily.

Now, this is all well and good, but the FUN part is that at the bottom of each page, going concurrently with the story on the top, is the CARTOON version of Warrior, as drawn by Mike Parobeck. Guy shows up with G'nort, who sort of acts as the narrator. Guy is just so cheerful and manly and keeps saying "Peachy!" Veronna keeps throwing herself at him, and Buck accidentally lassos Wolverine from a neighboring toy stall, then throws him back as being "too small."

Of course there is a villain as well, and he's called..."THE DEBT"...'cause everybody owes him something. The DEBT attacks with his hoard, and they basically bonk everyone on the head with nerf bats or something. Buck realizes there is a fight, so he starts ripping his shirt. Then Fire shows up.
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In the serious part of the book, they grab Olivia as hostage, and Guy and Fire are busy flirting like mad through the whole thing. This does take place after their hot evening together on Christmas Eve.

In the cartoon part of the book, they attempt to grab Olivia but she decks them all. Then Guy and Fire stand around complimenting each other.

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"Gravity powers!" Heh heh.

In the serious part, Guy and Veronna manage to rescue Olivia...and he and Fire are STILL flirting. Meanwhile in the cartoon part...

...they end up catapulting Olivia at THE DEBT! After all, it's PAYBACK TIME! Buck has to stop fighting, because his shirt has been completely ripped off, so now he has to start drinking instead. Olivia subdues the bad guy..."the DEBT has been paid!"

They've also caught and subdued the bad guy from the serious part. They aren't really sure what exactly brought the whole thing on, since they managed to capture him fairly easily...for the Quorum anyway. It turns out that the Quorum didn't really care if they caught DUNGEON or not, the whole point was to acquire some DNA samples from Guy. (cue the evil music)

Back in the cartoon, Olivia keeps hitting on Veronna, and Guy is still ogling Fire. He, Fire and Veronna wind up wandering off into the sunset in search of cookies and milk, while Buck just gets drunker. Peachy!

Finally, they all do end up back at Warriors, watching the cartoon that Olivia's company made. They all hate it of course, Arisia is complaining because she's not even in it, Buck is complaining because they have him drunk as a monkey through the whole thing, and Guy is complaining because he says it makes him look like Capt. Marvel. Bea is upset with Buck for conning her into signing the contract in the first place. They all want to have changes made, but can't because it is all set to air in only an hour.

Fire says she has to go, and Guy calls for her to wait up...er...uh, he has to walk her out. They have this awkward little moment, when they don't really know what to say, then Fire kisses him on the cheek and tells him to call her. And he smiles and says..."Peachy!".

This really was hilarious all the way through. They even show the action figures, although I couldn't find a scan for it, but they also have the descriptions.

Guy Gardner: Warrior...21 manly points of articulation!

Buck Wargo...Action cow chip throwing arm. (cow chip not included)

Tigerman...comes with furball hacking action and kitty litter box that transforms into a bazooka!

Veronna...skull-chrushing thighs.

Joey Hong...Action voice recites Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan quotes.

Rita Muldoon...Complete with 30 sets of wardrobe changes and matching guns.

Wildcat...Comes with cat-cycle with senior citizen parking pass.

Lady Blackhawk...Comes with peanuts (not edible) plus seat flotation devices and an in-flight
movie.

..."And remember, kids, for ever twenty dollar bill you take out of your Daddy's wallet and send to me...GOOD OLD G'NORT...I'll send you candid photos from the shower room at JLA headquarters, and a free figure of me,...GOOD OLD G'NORT...too!" (this offer only good for residents of Coast City"

You can tell that they were having a really really good time with this issue. Because that's not all! There is still more thigh-slapping humor on the letters page, in the form of a notice from Olivia Reynolds's company.

"And now, a message from our sponsor.
Ok folks, you got a sneak preview of someof the Warrior toys in this story, and as an added bonus, here's some of the other wonderful merchandise you can expect:

CLASSIC GUY GARDNER: GREEN LANTERN...Each figure is individually numbered. We dare you to find #2814. This one also says two phrases when you press his ring: "Guy Gardner, the One, True Green Lantern!" and "Hal Jordan's a Weenie!"

GUY GARDNER REBORN:...Includes cowboy boots and yellow ring. And says "Green Lanterns are wusses!" Plus the immortal "Hal Jordan's a Weenie!"

DEMENTOR:...This one's for the older kids because this ten-inch figure will repeat whatever you say and turn it into a foul-mouthed curse.

SLEDGE:...Push his back button, and his bulging rubber muscles will break any of your parents' expensive china, but don't just take our word for it. This figure is non-refundable.

GUY'S OLD INDIAN: Yup, an exact replica of the classic Indian motorbike that can be turned into a very deadly weapon since it uses real fuel. Fun for young and old.

****Send 10 proofs of purchase and receive the very special ARISIA doll. This one we dare you to break, slam her, smash her, even a big brick to the back won't put this one in the trash. This one's ideal for babies...although very harmful if swallowed.

This book was pretty much at the end of the run of Warriors...it was cancelled with #44, and I think that Beau and his cohorts just wanted to have some fun.