Green Lantern #31

Aaaannnd...Hal Jordan's secret origin continues. I have to say right off the bat, that I am enjoying this all so much. Ivan Reis's artwork continues to impress, and Geoff Johns just keeps adding in all these little goodies to Hal's backstory.

We begin right where we left off, with Hector Hammond growing increasingly surly as Hal holds Carol and they gaze into each others eyes. Hal and Carol that is, not Hal and Hector. Hal is just congratulating himself on the fact that nobody seems to have figured out who he is, when Tom Kalmaku comes running up and running off at the mouth. Not to mention that the ring just won't shut up either. Hal is starting to panic just a wee bit, and Hammond picks up on that right away, so Hal figures that he'd better just get himself the heck out of Dodge, and flies off while Carol continues to gape in slack-jawed adoration at his posterior. Can't blame her for that, really. Hector tries to reassert himself with Carol, which leads to a rather chilly brushoff from the lady.

Hal flies back to Abin Sur's ship and gives the poor fellow a burial, which is better than just leaving the body for the coyotes. He also finds the actual power battery and manages to inadvertently recharge his ring, while the ring spouts information.

"A Green Lantern's power battery is their power ring's charging station. Recharging required approximately every twenty-four terrestrial hours."

"Let go, Dammit!"

"Incorrect Oath."

Hee hee. I have to admit that this made me start giggling out loud. Incorrect oath indeed!

At this point the ring decides to inform him that his training has begun, and to have a nice flight on his way to Oa. A very befuddled Hal eventually shows up on Oa, and there is typically gorgeous two-page spread of his arrival and Green Lanterns of all size and shape flying around, including Chaseleon, Medphyll Stel, Graf Toren, Tomar Re, that Big-Headed Guy, and Arkiss Chummuck, not to mention a whole lot more. Interestingly enough, all of the buildings are...yellow. This is back in the day when yellow was a no-no for Green Lanterns, so I couldn't figure it out, until it occured to me, that perhaps the Guardians didn't want to keep rebuilding half of Oa, everytime a training session got out of hand. Makes sense to me.

With his usual grace, Hal drops in on his fellow Lanterns.



Kilowog is very happy to see him.



Hal REALLY has to stop going around punching out superior officers.

In the meantime, Major Stone and Hector Hammond have come across Abin Sur's ship, and are appropriately startled. Unfortunately for them, some soldiers also come across Atrocitus. It doesn't end well.

Back on Oa, Hal has been properly introduced to the concept that the ring doesn't work on yellow. Ch'p is happy to explain it to him. May I just say how adorable Ch'p is, and how happy I am so see him? Tomar Re shows up and wants to know why this obnoxious rookie is wearing Abin Sur's ring. He and Hal fly off together, while Tomar explains a bit more about Abin Sur to Hal, and why he was flying that ship, and a bit of history about the Guardians and Oa. They visit the Book of Oa, and Tomar Re gives Hal a bit of worthy advice..."If you need help...ask for it." Poor Tomar. Like Hal is ever going to do something so sensible.

There are some more delightful scenes of Hal's training, he insists on flying THROUGH asteroids instead of around them, he STILL thinks that he can overcome the weakness to yellow and he has a little tentacle fun with Shorm and gets chewed out by Salaak. Finally, Kilowog and Ke'haan deem the nightlights worthy of becoming big-boy Lanterns, and they all recite the oath, and Hal gets his lantern on his chest. Woohoo!

Oh, and Ganthet has a little talk with Sinestro.

I'm beginning to think that Hal is the only one of the four Earth-based Lanterns to actually have a proper period of training. Guy sure as heck didn't. He was a Lantern for a day before the power battery blew up, and he was tortured and then in a coma. When the renegade Guardians woke him up, he was pretty much just thrown back into action. I'm not completely sure that John had a whole lot of training either, although he was lucky enough to have Katma Tui give him some pointers, but then he was directly picked by the Guardians. Kyle sure as heck didn't have any training other than what he tried to do for himself. So...interesting.

Pure Happiness

Finally the new books came in, and it was one HECK of a week. I can hardly contain myself. Green Lantern was fabulous of course, but I'll be reviewing that one separately.

Blue Beetle #27 was a nice book. Not quite up to the standards set by Mr. Rogers, but that's one heck of a tough act to follow. Nevertheless, it was a good issue, with Jaime and Traci going out on a date that was predictably interrupted by shenanigans. The idea that the nerds in their mother's basement were using demons for their petty revenge was a cute one. Jaime came to the uncomfortable realization that he and the Scarab can't solve every problem on their own. Well done, although there wasn't any Paco dialogue, which was a shame.

Fables #73 is getting to the nitty-gritty, as the Fables are actually bringing the battle directly to the Homelands and the Adversary. There are some very interesting strategies going on, and excellently written and drawn as always.

Final Crises finally hits the stands. I liked it. It had Hal and John and lots of Guardians and even Alpha Lanterns in it. It had the Justice League doing what the Justice League does. It didn't seem to remotely concern itself with any of the plotlines left over from Countdown or Death of the New Gods, and I frankly, consider that to be a point in its favor. Pretty art too, which is always nice. Too bad about J'onn though. However, since this is just book One, I'm going to contain my anguish over what happened to J'onn until more of the story has been told.

Huntress #2 was interesting. As I stated before, I don't know much about Huntress other than what I've picked up from her appearances in Birds of Prey, and much earlier, in the the old JLI. She seems awfully ruthless here, but then again, they ALL seems like rather unpleasant people. I am interested enough to keep buying the book, and seeing how this all works out.

JSA:Classified. I just like Ted Grant. He's such a fabulous old Fart.

All-Star Superman #11. Man, we're getting close to the end, and this was another excellent issue. I LOVE the interaction between Lex and his crazy niece, not to mention Lex's execution, which...naturally...doesn't quite go as planned. Too bad about the baby Star Eater though.

I even got some Marvel books! Giant-sized Astonishing X-Men was actually very good. *sniff* Too bad about Kitty, but there is enough slack in her ultimate fate to make it fairly easy for another writer to bring her back. Beautiful art as always. And I found myself oddly enthralled by the interaction between Agent Brand and the Beast.

Thor#9 was nice. You'd think that after how many thousands of years that they would know not to believe a word that Loki says, but I don't think that Balder is particularly bright. I loved the bit with Bill and Kelda and the Asgardians playing basketball.

I even liked Ultimate Spider-man #122. Bendis seems to do so well with this book. I just go insane when I have to read Avengers and New Avengers and all the other stuff.

And the Starman Omnibus came in! Woohooooooooooooo! I had so much to read that I haven't even finished it yet, but I'm trying to savor it. I wasn't smart enough to read Starman when it first came out, so I'm coming to it a bit late, but manoman, is it delicious.

I hope that EVERYBODY enjoyed their comics this week. And if you didn't, then I don't want to hear about it.

Oh that Wacky Sinestro

Ok...this time, Sinestro, you've Gone Too Far! In Green Lantern #52 (Thank you, Showcase #3!) which teams up Hal Jordan, Alan Scott AND Doiby Dickles! A matchup made in heaven. Not to mention Pieface, his wife, Doiby's Princess AND Doiby's beloved taxi-cab Goitrude. What really boggles my mind, is that everyone refers to the taxi specifically as Goitrude...not Gertrude.

There is a lot going on, very little of which makes much sense, but By God, the butt-shots are plentiful and lovingly rendered. Especially Alan's which I find rather surprising. Usually when you wear a cape, you don't get great pans of your buttocks, but Alan's cape sure seems to blow straight out from his shoulders a lot. A LOT!

So, Tom "Pieface" Kalmaku is mooning over a letter from Hal. He even calls him the Emerald Gladiator for heaven's sake. Alan and Hal are having dinner together and whispering a lot. for some reason, they decide that they are going to send Doiby his beloved taxi, as a present for his first wedding anniversary to the Princess. A charming thought indeed...except it has been stolen! Stolen, while leaving Alan's deluxe sportscare alongside of it, untouched! It probably gets better gas mileage.

Actually it hasn't been stolen at all, it's driving around...by itself! Picking up and abetting bank robbers! Oh, Goitrude, what has come over you? Not only is Goitrude up to no good, but she manages to beat both Hal and Alan by flashing on her high beams and blinding them! Alan immediately sends out an urgent message to good ol' Doiby who receives it on his Super-Galactic-Ring Reciever! He rushes back to earth to help, and Alan and Hal have to break the bad news to him. Goitrude has gone...BAD!

At this point I am having convulsions. John Broome was a genius! A MAD genius, but a genius nevertheless.

Finally, it is revealed...Goitrude has actually been taken over by none other than Sinestro! Just so that nobody can fail to realize just what a rat Sinestro is, there is a lovely Editor's Note box in the bottom corner of the panel, that says "The renegade Green Lantern, who has always stood in these pages as the very personification of EVIL!" Goitrude is destroyed (horrors!), Doiby, Hal and Alan are paralyzed, and Sinestro flies off with his band of ...bank robbers? Is it me, or is Sinestro more or less just slumming here? It's hard to take over the universe with henchmen of this caliber.

On far-off Oa, the Guardians are standing around congratulating themselves about how the Power Battery is working just perfectly, and how NOTHING could possibly go wrong. Cue the ominous music at this point. For, behold! The battery has...vanished, and Sinestro's giant head is now taunting the Guardians! An emergency is called, all hands to the deck! Hal finally figures out how to use his magnificent will-power to free himself! Doiby in the meantime uses his Space-Scooter tool kit, to create a Dimension Changer, so that they can pursue Sinestro to his alternate dimension (Qward?) Doiby even manages to get there ahead of anybody, and discovers Sinestro and the Battery. Sinestro then refers to Doiby as "the Green Lantern's fatso friend", which is rather harsh of him.

Hal and Alan eventually show up and defeat Sinestro's minions, who have been charging their rings at the purloined Great Battery. Oddly enough, they are all wearing outfits that resemble Sinestro's and look eerily like the most recent versions of the Sinestro Corps! Sinestro's had this idea for a looooooong time.

Blah blah blah, Alan and Hal defeat the bad guys, beat up Sinestro, and return him and the Power Battery to Oa. Then Alan recreates Goitrude for Doiby, but as a miniature car model. Doiby bursts into tears, Alan and Hal congratulae each other in a properly manly fashion, and Pieface smirks and closes the pages of another story from his Green Lantern Case book. All of which begs the question...exactly WHAT was it that Pieface was smoking, while he was writing all of this down? Or was he just high on jet fumes?

The world may never know.

Oh it's Wednes...Wait.

I keep forgetting that the new books won't come until tomorrow, because of Memorial Day. I love Memorial Day. We have parades, and as a Civil War buff, (the American Civil War, not that crap from Marvel) I understand and applaud the whole idea of memorialzing our soldiers. We also have picnics, and can now properly wear white shoes...at least until Labor Day.

And yet, that tiny shallow and selfish part of me, is moaning, because I have to Wait Another Whole Day until the new books come out. Really GOOD books too. I have absolutely NO shame, and I find myself bursting into tears just at the thought of it.

There are some other exciting things going on too, apparently. I don't know if any of you have read the articles about Tokyopop that are on CBR and Newsarama and various other places, but I have to say that the "contract" that they are offering is the the one of the most outrageous things that I have read in a very long time. Basically, they are offering a competition, without really saying that it is a competition, but in order to participate, you have to sign over ALL your rights as a creator for all perpetuity and maybe...MAYBE they will pay you a pittance, and you may or may not have to serve a year in the brothel of their choice. I KNEW there was a reason that I didn't read Manga!

I was quite crushed to learn that the sequel to the Green Lantern Corpse story by Keith Champagne won't be coming out...at least not any time soon. Jamal Igle was going to draw it too. I am quite confused as to why DC wouldn't think that anything that is Green Lantern related wouldn't make a ton...nay a shit-load of money right now. Thanks to the first Corpse story and a little thing called the Sinestro Corps War, the Green Lanterns are where it is happening!

The Starman Omnibus is coming out tomorrow! I ordered it weeks and weeks ago, and now I'm terrified that it won't show up. And Blue Beetle, and All-Star Superman, and Green Lantern, and a whole other ton of stuff.

Oh well. I came across this in my browsings, and I can only assume that this is the sort of thing that happens when the Justice League gets bored. But MAN, Batman can be pissy.

The Beginning of it All

And it's back to the well again, as I once again plumb the depths of Green Lantern Showcase #3. They are all fabulous stories of course...completely INSANE, but fabulous. However, the one that holds the tightest grip on my heart, is the very last one, Green Lantern #59, which features the very first appearance of Guy Gardner.

It also has one of the Best Damn Covers Ever.



This of course was drawn years before Guy went bonkers, this is back when he was just a sweet young Gym Teacher, but I swear to God, that Englehart LOOKED at this cover when he resurrected Guy during the first Crises, and decided that the attitude displayed was going to become one of Guy's main characteristics.

The actual issue doesn't have nearly as much attitude as the cover, and yet it has its own peculiar charms. For one thing, Hal is on Oa, attending a two-day Seminar in the Higher Techniques of the Guardians. The idea of Green Lanterns attending Seminars just fills me with delight. Do they still have these? Hal and Guy could teach Sexual Harassment, Kilowog could have physical training, and Salakk could have a mind-numbing dissertation on how to fill out all the paperwork. Then all the participants would drink coffee and munch donuts and danish and network in the hallways.

Er...I seem to be losing my thread here. Anyway, the Guardians have this big honkin' machine thingie that is sort of a telescope and a memory bank...it stores data taken from the brains of dead GL's! How this occures is not actually explained. I'm going to ignore the logistics of it, and, like Hal, just get down to basics. Being Hal of course, the first thing that he does is look up poor old Abin Sur's final moments...just so that he can see himself being chosen all over again. In case I haven't mentioned it before, Hal Jordan has a...HUGE ego.

So, we get to watch poor Abin Sur's death throes all over again, not to mention Hal's origin (a subject that seems to be quite popular right now) only this time, the ring finds not only Hal, but another candidate who is JUST as qualified as Hal! Hal of course smirks and snickers and wonders aloud to the Guardians what would have happened if this other dude, Guy something or other, had been picked instead of him? The Guardians push a different button and lo and behold, the Way-Back Machine can not only record and play events from dead people's brains, but show Alternate Realities! (I wonder if they used this thing during the Sinestro Corps War?)

Hal watches in amazement, as Guy Gardner is "plucked from his post at school...the physical education instructor Guy Gardner was whisked across the country..." Like Hal, Guy was a bit perplexed, but jumped at the chance to wear the ring, figures out the whole Willpower thing, and learns to fly lickety split. Then goes back to Baltimore and resumes teaching, but reads the newspaper a LOT. So he goes out and beats up Saboteurs! In "tip-top condition as a physical education teacher should be!"

Then he beats up Sonar, the Shark, Dr. Polaris, Blackhand and even Sinestro! After he took out Sinestro, then the Guardians end up (finally) summoning him to Oa, to fill him in on the whole Green Lantern Schtick. The Guardians don't like to jump the gun apparently, or bother to train their rookies, they just throw them into the water and it's sink or swim!

Hal is amazed of course. He then notices that on his way back to earth, Guy takes a different route and ends up being ambushed. He investigates, and discovers two roboty-looking guys blasting each other, who then turn their weapons on Him. He even yells "Great Guardians!" He discovers that he's on the planet Ghera, which is inhabited only by children who Never Grow Old, while their parents were all wiped out by a Yellow Plague. I guess the kids got bored, and decided to do their own version of War World or D & D, and have blue and orange teams and try to beat the crap out of each other.

Guy realizes that he has to try and stop all the mayhem. "...without parents to guide them, the children here have run wild! They don't realize that war and destruction are EVIL!" Oh, you mean like YOUR parents Guy? I figure that at this stage of the game, Guy is pretty much in denial about his own upbringing. Unfortunately, he ends up being Mind-Controlled by one side. Just like Hal would have! There is a whole lot of fighting and blowing-things-up, not to mention some amazing ass shots. Finally of course, Guy is able to convince the little buggers that trying to kill each other is not the healthiest thing in the world for them to be doing, and all ends well, and he flies back to earth.

Except that somehow he's caught the Yellow Plagued! Too bad his ring can't protect or cure him! Or that maybe the Guardians could step in and help! No, he's dying and he's GOT to find another successor, so once again the ring searches, and finds...Hal Jordan! Woohoo! Of course Hal is thrilled. Guy dies before he can tell Hal his lame-ass oath, so Hal makes up a New one. A really Cool one.

Hal smirks at the end, and thanks the Guardians for the show. He's just pleased as punch that he was always destined to become a Green Lantern. He even decides that maybe he ought to go and visit this...OTHER guy. Just in case. So he tracks Guy down, and even joins his Athletic Club. He even admits to being in Insurance! Most people would hear that and run, but not Guy Gardner! He fears No Man! Not even an Insurance Man! Hal flies off, vowing to keep in touch.

And right from this moment, poor Guy's life goes into the crapper!

More Ramblings

Well Happy Memorial Day to you all. Half of my crew is out marching in the Fife & Drum Corps in a parade, while my very own little town, the Parade Capital of Connecticut is of course, having its OWN parade. I just love parades, dammit.

Scott Dixon won the Indy 500. That's ok. I was rooting for Marco Andretti, because I've been rooting for assorted Andretti's for years, but what the heck.

Kasey Kahne won the Coca Cola 600 in Charlotte. It's better than Kyle Busch winning I suppose. Tony Stewart HAD IT IN THE BAG, until he got a flat tire with only three laps remaining and hit the wall. Loud profanities erupted from my living room. Bummer.

I have heard a vague rumor that Mr. Robinson is going to possible be writing another Shade mini-series. This fills my black heart with joy. I LOVE the Shade. He's just too cool. They really ought to go and have him hang out with the Justice Society. Everybody else seems to. He and Jay could have fun.

Speaking of the Justice Society, it seems as though Alan Scott has been showing up in various places. This pleases me, since I like Alan. I love it when the old cooters from the Justice Society show up and show the young whippersnappers how it is done, like Jay did with Batman in the most recent Brave & the Bold. Wildcat has been doing a pretty good job of it in the latest JSA: Classifed issues as well.

Here is a picture of Alan. Just for fun.

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Not a complete butt shot, but close enough. And speaking of great butts...

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Here's a lovely one of John that I stole from Sea of Green. John just looks so...relaxed here.

Gosh, I'm on a roll now. Here's a beautiful one of Kyle.

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Here's Tora's. Hah! You thought I was going to go for Guy!

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HERE'S Guy.



*snicker, snort*

And finally, we couldn't have Green Lantern butts without good ol' Hal.

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Gosh! I feel so much better now!

Random Ramblings

I completely forgot to post yesturday! Not for any good reason, except that I was forceable pulled away from my computer by my Sweet Baboo so that we could go to the Hardward Store. Well! How can a girl pass up that? I LOVE Hardware Stores! We also ended up at a place in Springfield that takes in old fixtures and cabinets and architectural elements and stuff and resells them, so I found a beautiful antique oak mantlepiece for the master bedroom. Yes, my house already has four fireplaces, but you can NEVER have too many mantlepieces. Granted, I have to strip off a couple layers of old lead-based paint first.

I just read on Geoff John's message board, that DC has decide NOT to come out with the follow-up story by Keith Champagne based on the Corpse. I am SO depressed. I want to see R'amey Hol again, dammit!

Spoiler is back, and Leslie isn't a child-killer after all. That is a wonderful thing, and I thank DC for setting this right.

Green Lantern and All-Star Superman are supposed to come out this coming Wednesday. And the new Starman Omnibus had BETTER come out this Wednesday. All the ads said "May", and May is fast running out of time.

Now, I'm off to watch the Indy 500, and then the Coca-Cola 600. I may not be able to walk or frame a coherent sentence at the end of the day, but so long as Kyle Busch loses (and loses BIG) it will all be worth it.

And, just for fun, and stolen from Scipio, Hal Jordan looking winsome.



He's not being hit in the head for a change!

Showcase Presents: Green Lantern #3

God bless DC. They just released the third in their Showcase presents series, of the Silver Age Green Lanterns, reproduced in black and white for poor people like me. Or perhaps lazy people like me. Whatever. This particular collection covers Green Lantern #39 up to #59, which JUST HAPPENS to be, the very first appearance of Guy Gardner. Be still my heart.

These are all apparently written by either John Broome, or Gardner Fox, and drawn by Gil Kane. I don't know what drugs these guys were on...but I WANT some. And I have to admit that Gil Kane REALLY had a thing for drawing Green Lantern Butts. Green Lantern Butts are On Every Page! Mind you, I'm not complaining! Oh no, I actually thrilled right down to my toes.

Let us review then, some of the highlights of this particular tome.

Hal and Alan Scott end up fighting together, and then Alan's body gets taken over with mind control, so they get to fight each other! AND look fabulous doing so.

Somehow, Hal gets to fight mythological creatures from off of old Roman coins. I'm not quite sure how, but he does. He gets to team up with Zatanna and fight Vikings. Myrwhydden shows up for some reason and looks ridiculous. But I suppose that he really can't help that. He and Hal end up tooting their own horns at each other.

Hal and Barry and Iris and Carol all double date! Too bad about the earthquakes. Then the girls forget that they knew that Hal was Green Lantern and Barry was the Flash. Hal is relieved, although Barry...not so much. Tom "Pieface" Kalmaku gets to play with Hal's Lantern. Hmmmm...that sounds a bit dirty.

One of my favorites is that Hal's little brother Jim's wife Sue thinks that Jim is actually Green Lantern. Jim keeps denying it, but Hal uses it for all it's worth. They also hang out with their rich relative Uncle Titus a lot. Poor Jim. Stupid Sue. Hal really has a mean streak in him.

Hal gets framed for a robbery and goes to jail! Then all the Green Lanterns think that he's dead! Katma Tui gets and appearance! Woohoo! Even Sinestro shows up. There is a LOT of stuff going on in these issues! In the present day, it would take about ten years for all of this stuff to be resolved, but this all happens in a mere twenty issues.

I have to admit however, that except for #59, which is Guy's first appearance, my favorite issue has to be the one where the Guardians think that Hal's having a nervous breakdown from overwork, so they take his ring away. It turns out that the RING is having the nervouse breakdown. Hal's lying around taking it easy, when he spots..." Hmmm! a National Park grizzly bear chasing a young boy...and a pretty young lady...too bad Green Lantern's on vacation...!" But being Hal, he can't just lie there and watch the bear eat the young boy and the pretty young lady, so, sans ring, he jumps up and PUNCHES THE BEAR WITH HIS HEAD!

'Cuz that's how Hal Jordan rolls.

He then punches the bear in the face, causing its eyes to go crosseyed. He ducks, he swerves, he jumps up on a tree branch and kicks the bear in the chin! THEN, he grabs a handy bee-hive and ...without a single sting...he throws the bee-hive AT the bear, saying "This ought to keep him Bee-zy! How PUNNY of me!"

Oh...Hal.

Utterly defeated, the bear runs away, pursured by vengeful bees. The pretty young lady, who turns out to be Eve Doremus, runs over and slobbers all over Hal, as does her young brother. Not being one to pass up a good opportunity, Hal accepts their offer to follow them home and lounge in their pool and use all of their guest rooms, not to mention their cars and boats.

Hal is lounging around in bed, and comes to the conclusion that the problems he'd been having earlier must be the ring's fault, not HIS! It's NEVER Hal's fault. The Guardians of course, have come to the same conclusion, but they use some actual experimentation and evidence. Meanwhile, theives have broken in, and again, without his ring, BUT wearing his costume, Hal attacks, jumping off a balcony and punching a thug in mid-air. There are a LOT of ass-shots. There's even a crotch-shot, as Hal tries to imitate Batman,and jumps up, kicking two thugs simultaneously. However they do overpower him, and one hits him in the HEAD with what appears to be a random Oscar statue. Just as they about to fill him full of lead, his ring reappears on his finger! Those Guardians have a great sense of timing!

Eve however, is terrified for poor Hal's safety and runs up to his room, hotly pursued by Hal himself. Even Hal is surprised to see what appears to be HIMSELF open his bedroom door and comfort Eve! The Guardians have a great sense of humor as well as timing.



Somehow...Hal always comes out smelling like a rose.

Some pretty darned good books this week

I'm not filled with ecstasy, nor mired in the pits of despair at my books this week, just pleased and generally happy. It has finally occured to me, that I don't HAVE to get the books that annoy and distress or otherwise displease me, just because I used to like them. It's hard to break that cycle sometimes, but once you DO, it can be just so...freeing. And less expensive.

I must say that I completely enjoyed the Brave & the Bold #13. Who would ever have thought of pairing up Jay Garrick with Bruce Wayne? Mark Waid did, that's who! And it WORKS! It works beautifully. It's just so odd to see Batman being respectful and even a bit in awe of another superhero, but if anybody deserves it (other than Alan Scott) it would have to be Jay...who also happens to be my very favorite Flash.

Plus it has T.O. Morrow in it, the Penguin, and Samuroids. And Chemistry! While Bats has his moments, it is essentially Jay who saves the day, and gosh darn it, this was just fun.

Justice Society #15 basically continues the big fight, but it is a beautifully drawn big fight and it has lots and lots of wonderful small moments in between the punches. Obsidian is both creepy AND effective. Lightning has the best battle cry ever..." I Want to Drive a Car!" Starman saves a poodle! Sandy shows up and does...stuff!

Justice League of America #21 is another good issue. This book falls into the category of "I love this and I wish it could be good, when will it be good?" Well, it was good again this month. Art by Carlos Pacheco certainly helped, and McDuffie was able to DO his writing thing without being hamstrung by old plotlines or editorial fiat. The Big Three got to hang out and do their thing, Hawkgirl and Roy did their thing and got spanked by no less than the Human Flame and Libra. All of this is leading into Final Crises I believe, but it was still fun. The Human Flame is a schlub, but he's a realistic schlub, and he not only sassed Lex Luthor, but he lived to tell the tale.

Birds of Prey #118 was nice. It had Nicola Scott for the art, and that automatically raises it up in my view. Tony Bedard was the writer, and he did some nice things with Misfit and Black Alice. Apparently this new bunch of thugs has moved into Roulette's territory, by staging superhero gladiator fights for the pleasure of the bored and idle rich, and call themselves Dark Side and Granny and so on. I'm not quite sure that I buy all of this, but it made for a fun issue. And now we know what happens when Misfit teleports carrying somebody...and it ain't pretty.

The plot continues to thicken in Flash, Checkmate was good, and I liked Countdown to Mystery, with Dr. Fate, although I wasn't quite sure that I was reading it in the right order, or if there really were a couple of different viewpoints jammed together. Whatever.

I broke down and got Tangent: Superman's Reign mainly because it has John Stewart in it. A little weird, but I'll stick with it for now. It also has a geeky Guy Gardner, computer wizard in it, so I HAVE to see how this all turns out.

As for Marvel, the Incredible Hercules has been a hoot from the beginning. I even got Wolverine:Origins, which wasn't too bad either.

I also finally managed to pick up Batman Confidential which I should have gotten last week, but didn't, for the magnificent Kevin Maguire art, and a fun story from Fabian Nicieza. I am DYING to see how this one all turns out.

Wheels within wheels

I do believe that Mr. Johns and Mr. Tomassi are up to no good. Well...that's not quite right, in the end, I am sure that it will ALL be good. Nevertheless, let me just say that more correctly, they are up to their old tricks.

We all recall in the issues leading up to the Sinestro Corps War, that there had been all sorts of little clues and visual trickery placed their for our viewing pleasure. In particular, Dave Gibbons and Pat Gleason had been using those ominous glowing little yellow lights on Mogo for quite a while before it finally dawned on most of us that SOMEthing was going on. Frankly, I think that they are at it again.

Over on the Geoff Johns message boards (which are quite delightful and have FAR less crazy people than the DC boards) DrMouse mentioned that the Black Mercy seedlings released by Mongul just Happened to be in Sector 2261...which just Happens to be the same sector as Mogo and Bzzd. That can't be good. And of course, we all remember the issue of GLC, when Mogo used an asteroid to burn out the nasty little yellow fungus that was infecting him. The asteroid that just Happened to have these odd purple crystelline structures on it.

Poor Mogo. He could really use a break, and I don't think that it's going to be happening. I'm also highly suspicious of these new Black Mercy seedlings, that have been altered to use Fear instead of Hope. Because Hope as we all know now, belongs to a pair of certain tiny Blue Lanterns. I dont' think that the Mother Mercy critter just unleashed in the last Green Lantern Corps is necessarily going to be particularly pleased that Mongul has altered her babies modus operandi.

Of course I could be completely off base, and totally wrong. In which case, I will of course, ignore this completely. On the other hand, my smuggery may rise to alarming proportions.

And While We're on the Subject of Art

Man, I am just on a roll lately. We have looked at some delightfully charming artwork by Kevin Maguire, and some depressingly cheesy artwork by Greg Land. Let us now feast our eyes upon the upcoming cover to Green Lantern Corps #27, which is not actually coming out until August, but I couldn't wait.

It is by a gentleman named Rudolfo Migliari, and it is beautiful.



*sigh*

It just makes me weep with joy at the gorgeousness of it all. The contrast between the matt finish of the black portions of their uniforms and the gleam of the green is beautifully done. I don't know if I've ever seen Kyle's mask look better. And Guy is just so purty.

The eye reflects them, and the other eyes reflect other Lanterns, which is rather cool. The artist did not put in their feet, but he did put in male anatomy, which is always nice.

I absolutely adore Patrick Gleason, but I will have to say, that this is a really nice cover.

Oh for Pity's Sake!

Well....last time we all got to see Kevin Maguire's take on Batgirl and Catwoman, and how utterly gorgeous, funny and WELL-DRAWN it all was.

Now, we are flipping to the other side of the coin. I give you...

GREG LAND!



This is one of two covers to Uncanny X-men #500. The other cover is by Alex Ross.

So...where do we even begin with this? Firstly, it's a mess. It looks like Colorforms for heaven's sake. The characters have no relationship to one another, they seem to be just arbitrarily plastered onto the background. There is no single lighting source, all of the characters seem to be lit differently, and again, with no relationship to the picture as a whole. People seem to be missing various limbs. Cyclops seems to have a jetpack. I'm not quite sure who some of these people even ARE!

Worse still, Land isn't just copying magazine covers and porn, he's starting to copy HIMSELF! Several of the figures are lifted right from his work on Ultimate stuff. He's changed the costume and the hair color, and drawn an arm or two differently, but that's it.

I can see the appeal I suppose. It's very flashy, and looks "realistic". The sad thing of it is, is that Mr. Land CAN draw quite well, but for some reason, choses not to. On the other hand, I suppose that he can whip one of these things out in a weekend or so by now.

Now this Pixie person, I am not familiar with, but I assume that she's basically taken Kitty's place. You, madam, are NO Kitty Pryde. She sure as heck looks awfully precocious to me, at least physically. Wouldn't somebody called "Pixie" BE on the small side? Instead she's just Wanda with a different costume.

I don't know what happened to Storm's legs. There seem to be three legs there, and I guess a few of them may belong to the small figure behind her, but Storm is doing a really contorted twist behind Wolverine if her other leg is there.

It's just a mess. Can you even imagine what Kevin Maguire could have done with THIS? Or Romita, or Ivan Reis, or Walt Simonson, or hell, even John Byrne!

I guess I'm just getting cranky in my old age.

Confidentially...!

It has come to my attention that Kevin Maguire is doing the artwork on this and next month's Batman Confidential. Not being much of a Batman fan, this fell completely underneath my radar, and it is a darned shame. Thank goodness for Scans Daily, otherwise, I never would have realized just what it was, that I was missing.



>

NOBODY does expressions like Kevin Maguire, and it's killing me that he's not being used more often. If DC went and put him on Justice League, I do believe that I would have an apoplexy of delight.

But what delights me even more, is that the duel between Batgirl and Catwoman, in lesser hands, would have degenerated into a boob n' butt show (I'm looking at YOU, Ed Benes!). In Maguire's extremely capable hands, this is just another superhero/villain slugfest. They may be women, they may be very attractive women, but they aren't doing this for fun, they aren't posing, they aren't arching their backs or thrusting out their bosoms, or licking their luscious red lips. They're FIGHTING, and it HURTS! There is effort, and you can practically hear the grunts. Again, they're NOT posing.

It's...it's SUCH a breath of fresh air. So, I will actually break down and buy a Batman book this coming week, and then I'll buy the sequel, and I Will Enjoy It.

Booster Gold #9

They're getting the BAND back together! I have to admit that this is the issue that I have been salivating for, for quite some time. Just look at this cover...



*sigh*

There's J'onn! And Scott, and Bea and Tora and Guy and Ted and Booster! Oh, and Batman and Dr. Light too. The GOOD Dr. Light. Be still my heart.

We begin with a very pithy summing up of Max Lord's motivation in all of this. I still miss the REAL Max, but I have to admit that this is quite succinct. BadMax of course feels that he is perfectly justified in everything that he has done, including brainwashing Superman, and kidnapping Dr. Light and using her for a perpetual energy source.

Meanwhile, Beetle and Booster are searching the decrepit ruins of the Batcave for any trace of Batman. They don't find him, but they HAVE managed to get their little paws on a Mother Box. Booster has a sudden unexplained pain in his side, which I feel will probably be significant later on, and Beetle is still bleeding daintily from his shoulder. He really should do something about that. Booster is still trying to convince himself that Rip is wrong and that he CAN save Ted and make everything right. Poor poor Booster.

The Boys then stage a rather spectacular rescue of Mr. Miracle, although I have to admit that Scott was doing a bang-up job all on his own. It IS Scott too, in all of his multi-colored Kirby glory. At the same time, we cut to Fire and Guy standing around in the snow as Ice tries to convince her people to help them out against EvilMax. Just let me say that Dan Jurgens draws a really pretty Fire and Guy. Fire as usual, is still giving Guy a hard time, these two just can't seem to help themselves. This time however, it's obvious that Guy's not really in the mood to bicker, he reveals that thanks to EvilMax and some other stuff going on, that Hal, John and Kyle are dead, while the Green Lantern Corps is in a pretty pickle, and he's running out of power. Bea, for a change actually shuts up and they even have a tender little moment.

Then Beetle, Booster and Scott show up.



Woohoo! Ted's not dead! Neither is Booster, but nobody seems to really care. This actually surprised me a little bit, since in the Omac series, Booster and Bea had seemed to be getting rather close. THEN, it occured to me, that that never happened in this altered reality, and that it may have just surprised Booster as well. We learn that Scott is sorry about Hal, John and Kyle, and Guy is sorry about Barda. Damn. Barda is STILL dead. And it was Guy who found Ice, not the Birds of Prey.

At this point, Ice comes out, but it doesn't look good, since her people turned her down. Guy of all people points out that they are the Justice League, which startles both Ted and Booster, who assume that since Guy Gardner is giving a pep talk, that perhaps Hell HAS frozen over.

Rip, Daniel and Whatshername are still bopping around looking for either Booster or the Bad Guys, and not really getting much of anywhere. They do discover the Bad Guy's Lair however, and discover that the Bad Guy's seem to have a fixation on Booster...which doesn't look good at all. I have to say that Rip is looking awfully cranky lately. Oh, and the JLI go and rescue J'onn off of that wall thingie, where Alex had imprisoned him during the whole Infinite Crises thing, which is referred to, along with old Superman and Superbrat Prime, and it is starting to get a little bit confusing as to WHAT stories are still in this altered reality, and which ones are not. I will say this, you have to do a bit of thinking when you are reading this book.

J'onn by the way is pissed. REALLy pissed. And who can blame him? So off they all go, and attack EvilMax is a really gorgeous splash page. It doesn't bother Max in the least, he points out that at least now he doesn't have to hunt them all down individually. There is a fair amount of snarky banter and some nice fights. EvilMax and J'onn square off, Max trying to use Superman to fry J'onn, and J'onn trying to free Superman. They're busy busting people out of the Omac suits, and Ice frees Kimiyo, and discovers to her horror that EvilMax had murdered Kimiyo's children. Oh that Max. I know that being Evil can be fun, but this is going Too Far! Then Guess Who shows up.



Way to go, Booster!

Then Booster, Beetle and Batman take off for the control room, so that Booster can shut the whole bloody thing down. It helps to have gone through all this in another reality! Oh, and Dr. Light fries EvilMax. Quite handily. And then she offers to fry the REST of them. The rest of Max's evil cronies surrender very quickly. Superman is crying, because of all the stuff that EvilMax did, which included killing Lois. I did notice that neither Superman nor Batman was yelling at Dr. Light for taking down Max in THIS reality.

It's all starting to get a bit out of hand, and I get the impression that Booster is starting to panic just a bit. Now he's got to figure out a way to save Lois and everyone else, and he needs Rip, and he needs time to think...but he's not going to GET that time, because some Very Bad People show up on the last page.

And now I've got to wait another whole month to find out what happens!

But this is good stuff. Very very good stuff.

Green Lantern Corps #24

Oh, the plot is thickening very nicely.



As you all recall, the Guardians sent certain members of the Corps out to look for yellow rings. The various pairs of Lanterns have met with a certain amount of success, sending the captured rings and/or bearers off to Oa, to be imprisoned in the rapidly expanding sciencells. However, Sodom Yat and Arisia have failed to check in, and the rest of the group, headed by Guy and Kyle are searching for them.

So far, they've managed to trace their rapidly dwindling energy signature to a singularly disgusting planet. Dead bodies and other decaying matter encircle the place, and the Lanterns have to fly right through it, with various reactions. Iolande is just revolted, while Soranik is curious. Issamot isn't too thrilled either, while Vath realizes that some of the bodies are dead soldiers from the Rann/Thanagar wars. Bzzd has hitched a ride on Stel, which is probably the smartest thing that he could do, and is busy dishing out directions, to Stel's annoyance.

When they finally get to the surface of the world, it is covered in blood as well as Black Mercy plants. Kyle and Guy are the only ones who seem to recognize what they are dealing with, and they have the rings give a quick synopsis, which is handy for new readers. At least now they know what they are dealing with.

Back on Oa, Kilowog and Salakk are discussing the pros and cons of having all those prisoners and all of those rings on Oa. Salakk and the Guardians are for it, Kilowog is against it. We do get to see a bit of Voz, which is nice. I like Voz. Although he's looking less "bear-like" and more "sloth-like" as depicted by Pat Gleason, who of course, does his usual fabulous job. Then things get REALLY creepy, as all of the prisoners freak out, and start using their own blood to make Parallax symbols on the glass of their cells. Urghh!

Yat and Arisia have been enslaved by the Black Mercy plants that Mongul has altered, so that the plant evokes fear instead of the contentment and hope that it had previously created. Mongul is getting a real charge out of this. Mongul is not a nice person.



Mongul's new obnoxious little underling can't quite understand why Mongul is going through this whole charade, he just wants to kill the two Lanterns. Mongul on the other hand, has a plan. They are to be "served as a delicacy AND as an offering...A Quid Pro Quo if you will, in exchange for the rings." This does not bode well for Yat and Arisia. Mongul then creates a giant yellow bazooka and shoots all of the altered Black Mercy seedlings that he had been collecting into space, where they will fall, germinate and instill "cultures of great Fear."

Mongul and Sinestro should really get together. These two are obviously fellows who take great pride in their work.

The rest of the Lanterns are still wandering rather aimlessly around, trying to find Arisia and Yat, when they see the discharge of the seedlings. Bzzd is smart enough to figure out to follow the energy trail, and they all dive into a fissure on the world's surface. Inside a huge cavern is a giant purple...well...sphincter! Guy and Kyle dive right into it, without hesitation, while Soranik hurredly inquires as to the status of Arisia and Yat. It turns out that the two of them are in the process of being digested, so Vath gets a bit on the disgusted side and they all decide to go to town and "TOAST THESE BASTARDS!" There are quite a lot of pictures of truely magnificent carnage, then Guy erupts from the ground holding Arisia, to be followed shortly by Kyle who has Yat.

Soranik rushes over, while Kyle holds Yat's body, and tiny little glowing green constructs clean all the icky crud off of them. The rings also zip right back onto Yat and Arisia's fingers, which the rest of them consider to be a good thing.



Guy is impressed by the wreckage, and Soranik makes her diagnosis. Too bad they get distracted. Boy HOWDY, do they get distracted! Remember how Mongul said that Arisia and Yat were to be "offerings"? Well the recipient of those offerings is not happy. Not happy at all.

I LOVE a good cliffhanger.

So...Whatever happened to the Mosaic?

Yes, I do have the entire series, but I'm far too lazy to go rummaging through my boxes, when I'm downstairs on the computer, and my boxes are upstairs in my Fortress. If I remember correctly, (and it's been quite some time), somehow, Katma is brought back to life, and John ends up dumping Rose, which was a little harsh of him, considering he'd fought Hal for her honor.

But what actually happened to all of the Mosaic cities? Did the Guardians just dump them back on their respective planets? Didn't John discover that he had Guardian powers? If they put them all back, what the heck happened to them AFTER they got back? Does Rose still have her farm, or did the bank foreclose? It would be a bit difficult for the bank to foreclose when the farm didn't even exist, but I'm pretty sure that the bank wouldn't let a little thing like that stop it.

I suppose that this is one of those little niggling ideas that fester in the back of my mind. What is Rose doing now? What about those little kids that John gave the rings to? If Rose is back, does Hal ever drop by to visit? Does John?



This doesn't have a lot to do with the whole Mosaic question, but it IS a very nice picture of John. I feel bad sometimes for not giving John more attention, but the other boys are just so vociferous sometimes, that he gets forgotten. Being competent instead of flamboyant just doesn't get you the attention.

And speaking of the Guardians, once we are past the whole Secret Origin for Hal, I do hope that Mr. Johns will go into more detail about how the Guardians are treating John after he turned down their little...um...promotion, for lack of a better word. This current incarnation of the Guardians seem to be on the flawed side, and I don't imagine that they handle rejection very well. This could come back to eventually bite John in the butt. Or the Guardians could very well blow themselves up by that time...they don't seem to be particularly "with it" at the moment. I guess that's what happens when you put teenagers in charge of the Universe. Aren't these Guardians the ones that Kyle saved and reincarnated as babies? At this stage of the game, they are either teens, or...worse...in the "Terrible Two's". Ganthet should just come back and give them all a spanking.

It Took me a while...

...But I finally managed to download a scan of the mock "Last Supper" homage from Guy Gardner: Reborn" as illustrated by Joe Staton. Sea of Green requested it, and I am happy to oblige. Also, thank you to Aridawnia, for providing the scan.

Behold!



It just cracks me up.

It Took me a while...

Brrrrrr !

My goodness, I thought that April was fickle, but here it is getting on towards the middle of May, and I'm freezing my butt off. At least it was a pretty weekend. But here it is, Monday morning, and once again I find myself staring at my monitor screen in desperation. It is still two days until Wednesday, with its sweet sweet offering of both Booster Gold AND Green Lantern Corps.

And so, I fall back on pictures, as I so often do. Once again, Hal manages to come to my rescue, which is one of the reasons that I love him so...yes, he may be arrogant, self-centered, selfish to the core, and reeking of unearned male priviledge, but dammit, he always comes through for me in a pinch.




I must say that I don't have the foggiest idea of what is going on here, but apparently Batman and Hal DO have some...issues that need working out. No WONDER, Hal punched him out in Rebirth.



Umm...well, there certainly seems to be a lot of this going around.



Oh good grief, Salaak got felled by a Sound Effect! That's gotta hurt.



Man, just everyone is picking on Hal today.

And finally...



Green Lanterns sure do seem to spend a lot of time on the ground.

In Honor of Mother's Day

There are some rather wonderful Mothers out there in Comic Book Land. Mrs. Reyes for one. Ma Kent and Hippolyta for others. But I'm not in the mood to talk about the wonderful Moms. I want to talk about a BAD Mother.

Yes. You know who I'm talking about.

The one, the ONLY, Peggy Louise Gardner.

Beau Smith did a wonderful job depicting Guy's mother as the Mother-From-Hell. She was loud, obnoxious, over-bearing, rude, over-weight, obnoxious and just plain awful. Did I mention she was obnoxious? In one of the last issues of Guy Gardner: Warrior, she showed up at the Bar, complaining that he'd destroyed her house,moved in, and started ordering them all around. Guy was horrified, but basically put up with it. Peggy was just so completely over the top, that I loved her, she was funny as well as terrible.

And yet...she never really rang true to my ears. As much fun as she was, and as much fun as I am sure that Beau Smith had writing her, the earlier portrayal of Mrs. Gardner as written by Chuck Dixon, always seem a little more based in reality.

Dixon's portrayal of Guy's mother, is from the earlier issues of Guy Gardner, back in the teens, I believe, during the arc where Guy was kidnapped by the Draal, and was cloned. The Draal used these mind-sucker thingies to tap into Guy's memories, to make a better clone, and this is when we all learned about his early life. I'd like to remember the exact issue numbers, but I'm lazy. Anyway, it was darned good stuff. This is where we discoverd that Guy's home life was pretty horrendous, his father was a drunk...not only a drunk, but a MEAN drunk. His mom was no peach herself, she whined and moaned and enabled his father to a disturbing degree. His big brother Mace was the adored member of the family, and rather self-centered, not to mention very hard to live up to.

Dixon's version isn't nearly as funny as Beau's, but she makes more sense being a passive/aggressive personality, to my thinking. If she had been the hell-on-wheels version, there is no way that Guy's father would have been the monster of his childhood. Beau's Peggy Gardner would have beat him up, and terrorized him into sobriety, and then had he and Mace and Guy waiting on her hand and foot.

Instead, she moans and sighs and complains. She makes not effort to try and protect Guy from his father's beatings. She seems to shuffle through life, complaining and whining, but not really doing anything to make things better for herself or anyone. When Guy does show up again, years later, she tries to use guilt to make him feel bad, and then hits him up for a loan. Guy always seems to feel a bit conflicted about his mother. I can't help but think that if she was Beau Smith's version, he would have been PROUD of her, but he's not, he's embarrassed.

In a subtle way, this was alluded to in Geoff John's recent Booster Gold issue #2. This is the one where Sinestro shows up to see Guy,and Booster has to stop their meeting. He meets up with Guy in a bar outside the Rose Bowl, and they get to talking about their families. Guy mentions that he has a mother and a brother that he really doesn't care for, and also brings up the idea that as a child he did his best to protect her from his father during his father's drunken rages, which points more to Chuck Dixon's portrayal of her than Beau's.

Quite frankly, I think that Dixon's version is an even worse Mother than Beau's who at least has the redeeming factor of being magnificently outrageous. Dixon's Peggy Gardner is a self-pitying loser. And that's an awful type of person to have for a Mom.

Not like MY Mom. Who is magnificent of course.

No Time Today

Oops, just time for a quickie. Off to the Regional Games for the Special Olympics for my son Chris today. Rained all night, but it looks as though it is going to be a nice day after all, if a bit on the chilly side.

I think I'll be reading the John Adams book by David McCullough instead of comics today.

Guy Certainly has a Way with Words

The best part about reviewing Guy Gardner: Reborn, was the joy of going back and rereading it, which I hadn't done in quite some time. AND, for making a new discovery. A week or so back, I had asked you all if it was worthwhile for me to go out and get the Millenium trade that DC is going to be releasing. A lot of the answers were in the negative, but it DID have Joe Staton art, so I am torn.

And yet, in going through book One of GG:Reborn, Gerard Jones just happens to touch upon the very subject of Millenium, with the creation of the New Guardians. Guy has been giving his new friend, the hookerwiththeheartofgold a recap of his recent trials and tribulations, and he brings up the subject of the New Guardians.

It turns out that she's never heard of them.

And Guy's reply?

"...Who has?"

"How do I explain these guys? It's a long story and not a very good one, neither. They're these six weirdos who got picked by the OLD Guardians to nursemaid this bunch of Cosmic Wannabees called the Chosen. Supposed to be the next step in evolution, an'...an'...ah hell. They're six weirdos on this island, that's all. Don't even remember their names. Metal Bod...Cleavage Lass...Circuit Board Man...Earring Boy...Veggie Man...oh yeah, and' one whose name I DO remember. The Eskimo...Tom Kalmaku. A dear DEAR friend o' good ol' Hal Jordan."

I think that Guy has pretty much hit the nail on the head here. Seriously, how can I POSSIBLY top that explanation? And I'm pretty sure that Cleavage Lass was in the Legion. If she wasn't, then she should be. She could hang out with my own personal favorite creation, Flaccid Lad.

I seem to be wandering away from the point here.

Guy Gardner: Reborn, part Three

Hang in there, we are into the home stretch now!

As you all recall, Guy managed to invade Qward with the help of Lobo, and after a LOT of pummelling and various other shenanigans, he's ended up on Oa. Unfortunately, he inadvertently brought an entire army of Qwardians with him, all hell-bent on wiping out the Green Lantern Corps.

Oops.

Needless to say...but I'm going to say it anyway...the Guardians are NOT AMUSED! Unfortunately for them, this is at the point in time when they have just returned from hanging out with the Zamorans, are in the process of rebuilding the Corps, and they aren't quite up to snuff yet. Is it me, or did the Guardians spend a LOT of time rebuilding the Corps? Usually, because they had managed to wipe it out through their own stupidity, but that's just my point of view. Stupid Guardians.

So anyway, there is (naturally) a lot MORE fighting. Guy figures that standing around beating up Qwardians isn't going to get him any closer to Sinestro's ring, and he's trying to sneak out of the fight, when he's nabbed by Lobo. They're arguing, when they are once again attacked by the Chief Weaponeer,and then...HooHah! The rookie Green Lanterns finally show up! Boodikka in particular is having a lovely time. Typically, Guy is completely ungrateful for having been saved, especially by the Corps. The rest of the bunch shows up, but still being rookies, aren't really doing that well, plus Kreon and Boodikka just can't help bickering amongst themselves in the middle of all the fighting. Guy actually finds this rather hilarious, and keeps making comments about how he left just in time, which is putting an interesting spin on events. This all leads to him musing about Hal Jordan, and my absolute favorite picture in the entire series. It shows a Green Lantern version of DaVinci's Last Supper, with Hal in the center spot, and the rest of the Corps as the Apostles. Guy is Judas of course. In fact, as he's thinking about it, he admits that he'd have sold the lot of 'em for thirty bucks, which just makes me laugh and laugh.

Considering this is still during his brain-dead era, Guy actually does a good job of using the other Lanterns, and yells for their attention. Brik is furious, Kreon is suspicious and Tomar is confused. Guy cons them into summoning Kilowog, who listens to his cunning plan. Kilowog is a little bit skeptical, but Guy just makes his big puppy-dog eyes at him, and he melts. Exactly as Guy knew he would. Heh. He buffaloes Kilowog into sending him directly to the Guardians, which of course Guy uses as an opportunity to sneak into the old abandoned GL quarters.

Guy uses his knowledge of the layout to get in and head for the crypts. He also regrets having to bamboozle Kilowog, but swears to himself that he'll make it up to him. It's rather fun seeing Guy try and convince himself that it's all for a greater good, and being decent is all well and good when you have the chance, but being tough and hard is the only way to be. We all know that he's just trying to fool himself, but still...it's interesting.

John Stewart eventually shows up, helping in the fight against the Qwardians, when he saves Tomar from going splat, he tells him all about Guy's "Plan". John being John, doesn't buy Guy's benevolence and takes off after Guy. There is also a mysterious red ghostly figure that seems to be following Guy as well.

In the meantime, Guy has finally found the crypt and after a nice little tour of all the dead Green Lanterns, he finally spots Sinestro's body, and is beside himself with joy. That is, until he realizes that he can't get the coffin open. Poor Guy. He's made it all this way, and finally found what he's looking for, and now that it is almost in his grasp, he is thwarted. Then John shows up, and MAN, is he cranky. Guy of course just shrugs it off, and when John demands an explanation, he grins and says he got lost. It takes a minute for John to realize just WHO is in the coffin behind him, and only another second for him to realize just what it really is, that Guy is after. Then he goes bonkers, and THEN he gets "zapped" by a weird red glow (interestingly enough, it turns to yellow flames around his body) and his eyes start to glow yellow and he blasts Guy with a nasty energy bolt.

Yes, Sinestro's soul, or spirit or ghost, or whatever, has possessed John's body, and blasts open the coffin in order to retake his own body. Guy is lying there, pulling shards of crystal out of his body and bleeding copiously, as he reflects upon how he's just been screwed again. As "John" reaches for the ring, Guy musters up enough strength to get up and grab his wrist, and there they are, both holding Sinestro's hand.

Sinestro of course is busy talking trash to Guy, telling him that he's a loser, and that he doesn't deserve the ring, and so on and so forth. Guy's had just about enough, and can't help thinking back on his own life, and how he's been kicked around by just about everybody, and By God, he's had ENOUGH! And Guy's willpower is stronger than Sinestro's.

Guy thinks to himself..."Yeah Sin. You got the experience. You got the brains. You got the control. But I got something you ain't got...I got your RING!"

And just like that, the tide of battle turns, and a whole lot of YELLOW constructs start showing up, pummelling the Qwardians. It also helps that the Qwardians recognize Sinestro's ring, and their superstitious respect for it aids in their defeat. The rest of the Corps helps in the mopping up, and everything is just fine and dandy. Oh, except for one little detail. Remember how Guy had promised the ring to Lobo for his help? When Lobo comes over demanding the ring, Guy comes up with some VERY twisted logic, and claims that Lobo didn't live up to his side of the bargain. When Lobo objects, Guy points out that the deal was...Lobo trash Qward and he gets the ring. But they are on Oa, not Qward, and he never hired him to trash Oa. Hee hee! Guy has the ring, and there isn't a whole heck of a lot that Lobo can do about it, but it is pretty obvious, that Lobo is pissed as hell, and that he has a loooong memory.

So Guy flies off, free as a bird, and gloating just a little bit to himself, and really, who can blame him? Unfortunately, he flies directly into a giant glowing green wall headfirst. Just like Hal would have! John is back, and he's still cranky, and declares that there is no way that he or the Guardians are going to allow Guy to have Sinestro's ring. Guy says that's no way to thank him for saving the whole bunch of them, but John's not backing down. So...Guy just feels that he has to point out that Green Lanterns are vulnerable to one thing...YELLOW...and whips up a Baltimor Slugger that knocks John clear across the battlefield, into the tower and onto all the Guardians, taking them down like bowling pins. The Guardians pick themselves up and admit that they are grateful to Guy for helping to save them, but still..."What has been unleashed here this day?"

I'll tell you what has been unleashed! Guy is BACK, and he's got some serious power this time! Take THAT, Hal!

I really did enjoy this, because it did so much to make up for the whuppin' that Guy endured at the hands of Hal. And thank goodness for the big yellow Space Bug, because that's about all that makes up for Hal being a douchebag. Once again, the art is fun, and the dialogue is funny. Gerard Jones had a very good handle on Guy, I've always thought. So, if you can find this, be sure to get it.

Guy Gardner, Reborn, part Two

Oh, and how the plot thickens.

Guy has managed to con G'nort into making a functional space ship for him, so that he can go and look up Sinestro's old yellow ring. Guy is very proud of himself for coming up with this idea, but as in so many things, there are a few little details to be worked out.

Guy decides that just showing up on Qward may be a bad idea, so he decides to go and find Lobo instead. This is NOT actually much of a better idea, but it is the best that Guy can come up with. Needless to say, Lobo is NOT really that pleased to see Guy, and proceeds to pummel him. A lot. To his credit, Guy manages not only to stay alive, but to actually reason with Lobo long enough to make him STOP pummelling him, by saying that he wants to hire him. Lobo likes the sound of this, but asks how he's gonna be paid, and Guy has to think fast, and promise that he'll pay him with the very ring that he's after himself. Oh, this isn't going to end well.

After agreeing to go with Guy to Qward and to pummel people for PAY, Guy hesitantly asks Lobo for a little help...that is...since he's without a ring now, could Lobo show him a few moves. Lobo is MORE than happy to oblige, and Guy ends up bleeding quite a bit, but agrees that Lobo is indeed a born teacher..'cause he's just a sadist who wants to watch people squirm! Not feeling the least bit bitter there, are you Guy? When Lobo does wonder why Guy wants to go after the Qwardians, since the Justice League is all for justice and crap like that, Guy says that he just wants revenge, so now Lobo thinks that Guy is a pretty good guy after all!

And off they go. First to the Poglachi planet, where the two Qwardians were left behind from way back when. The two Qwardians are NOT too happy to see Guy, or as they like to refer to him..."The one who is NOT Hal Jordan!" Aaeiieeee! More pummelling! The two Qwardians manage to explain that they are just waiting for the rest of the Thunderers to come and save them, so Guy and Lobo decide to wait. Of course this is just a ruse on the part of the two baddies, but at least they aren't being pummelled.

That night, sitting around a campfire, Lobo is gloating about pummellings to come. When he realizes that Guy isn't as enthusiastic, he accuses him of being soft, which insults Guy to the core. So Guy goes off for a walk by himself, trying to convince himself that he IS too soft, and he needs to be hard and strong, and not care about anyone or anything. There is even something of a "As God is my witness...I'll never be nice again!" sort of moment. Then of course, he spoils the whole thing by wondering about his old buds in the Green Lantern Corps. Which leads to a nice segue of Kilowog, John and Brik talking about Guy and his ouster from the Corps. Kilowog, actually being Guy's friend, is worried about how he's doing, while John is just fuming. John then heads back to the Mosaic, while Kilowog goes back to training Brik, Boodikka, Kreon, Amanita and Tomar Tu.

In the meantime, Lobo has lost patience and is beating on the two Qwardians again, who finally crack, and reveal that there is a button on their little Spacecycle that will pull them, via a wormhole back to Qward. It turns out that Guy had been sitting on it the whole time. So off they go. One of the Qwardians tries to stab Lobo in the back, and ends up getting booted out of the wormhole by Guy, which just pisses Lobo off, since he was planning on pinching his head off.

And Kablam! There they are on Qward! Surrounded by thousands of Qwardian Thunderers. Guy and Lobo look at each other, and then Guy asks him if he's ever seen Gunga Din. Lobo just smirks and denies it, but he does know the line that Guy is thinking about, and in one of my favorite moments, the two of them...against a mega-crapload of Qwardians...yell out "You're All Under Arrest!"

Haw!

Pummelling. Lots and lots of pummelling. Guy realizes that he's got to fight the way that Lobo fights...like you got no brain! Throwing a few stolen thunderbolts also helps. They manage to blow up quite a lot of stuff, and then head out to find where the weapons are kept. The Chief Weaponeer in the meantime is dealing with a little typical Qwardian treachery on the part of his second in command, and thinking up a plan to take out the two crazy invaders. The two crazy invaders accidentally bust into a prison while looking for the weapons and happen upon the only Qwardian alive, who is in jail for being nice and sweet and gentle. Lobo, oddly enough begins to identify with the fellow,since he was the same type of oddball, a fluke, the only killer on a world o' sweethearts. So naturally, he ends up kicking the poor guy's head off. Oh Lobo. We can dress you up, but we just can't take you out.

With a bit more pummelling, they manage to find the Chief Weaponeer and bluff their way into getting information on Sinestro's ring. It turns out that there is only one, and it is on Oa...buried with Sinestro's body. Guy's pretty disgusted, the whole fight on Qward has been a massive waste of time in his opinion, and to top it all off, Lobo is furious, because HE wants the ring for his payment. After slapping Guy around a bit, Guy convinces him to go to Oa with him, to find the ring. At which point the smarmy Chief Weaponeer agrees to send the two of them straight to Oa, just because he's such a nice guy. Guy goes along with this, and realizes about two seconds too late ,that he's been suckered, because the Chief Weaponeer is sending them to Oa, all right...along with the entire hoard of Qwardians! Bhwahahaha!

Oh Guy. You really shouldn't trust the bad guys.

If you like a whole lot of incredibly gratuitous violence (and pummelling) then this is the book for you! Lobo is NOT one of my favorite characters, but I have to admit that he's just so gleefully awful that he's rather fun, at least the way that Gerard Jones is writing him. And Joe Staton continues to show off his cartoony, but equally fun artwork. Poor Guy is really having a hard time here, his poor brain-damaged mind is trying to subvert his morals, and it's just not working. He's so incredibly desperate here, that he'll basically do ANYTHING to get some power back. But he still wants that power in order to do good, so he's feeling terribly conflicted.

Part Three tomorrow!

Guy Gardner...Reborn!

Now this is something that I haven't done in quite a while. But rooting around in one of my boxes, I unearthed a charming little treasure, the three-part Guy Gardner:Reborn mini-series, by Gerard Jones and Joe Staton.

This takes place between Hal's brutal beatdown of Guy in Green Lantern #25, and before Guy's own book, and if you have never read it, then by all means, go out and find it, because it is a hoot. A hoot and a HALF! Plus Joe Staton has a rather cartoony way of drawing, which suits this quite nicely. You DO have to put up with some really really awful costume choices, but that's just part of its charm.

So, enough preamble, onto Book One.

We open with a little bit of soliloquizing by Guy, about having the ring, and how he was on top of the world, and life was pretty good. Then we find him fighting Black Hand in some dive in Times Square. He's still wearing his Green Lantern uniform, and it all looks like a regular Green Lantern book. Guy's doing a pretty bang-up job of trashing the place and Black Hand's goons, until they finally realize that he doesn't have his ring. Guy and Black Hand are busy trading quips when Guy ends up being bashed over the head, and then tossed out into the gutter...literally. Fortunately, he is found by a young lady, a working girl with the requisite heart of gold.

She hauls him up, and he pours out his tale of woe, how Hal tricked him into giving him his ring, how Max insulted him by saying he could go on monitor duty, how he accidentally knocked Ice down a flight of stairs because he was so angry he didn't even notice her, and how General Glory offers him a sidekick job. Poor Guy. At this point, he's so desperate that he even considers going to the Guardians, but he figures that they hung him out to dry before, and he's not quite reduced to begging...yet. He does get the bright idea of going to find the NEW Guardians, who are the bunch that apparently came about as a result of the Millenium cross-over. I haven't read that, but somehow Tom "Pieface" Kalmaku and some other people have these eerie powers. Guy shows up, bloviates, and gets put in his place rather handily.

Guy's new friend is at least sympathetic, and it isn't as though Guy has anybody ELSE to talk to. She even suggests that he get some guns. To Guy's credit, he makes it quite clear that he isn't the gun type. Then they get tossed out of the burger joint by the cops since Guy is making a scene.

At this point, Guy has a change of heart. He finally, comes to the realization that he's not a Green Lantern anymore, and sadly takes off his uniform. He also gets a whole LOT of guns. And the most ridiculous outfit ever, with a sleeveless black belly shirt, black pants and brown boots, not to mention fifteen holsters, bandoliers and strappy thingies. He DOES go back and blow up Black Hand's sleezy dive quite nicely however.

He also decides that he's going to go after Goldface. One of the things that Hal threw in his face during their fight, was that he let Goldface get away. Having something of a once track mind, Guy decides that he's going to take care of Goldface, and even goes to see Kari Limbo for a little help. So Guy ends up heading west, with an arsenal and a mission.

Lo and behold, he does find Goldface, and at first, he's doing pretty well, then they realize that he's ringless, and although he has a LOT of guns, he really doesn't know all that much ABOUT guns, so he runs out, and then they start jamming, and he's in biiiig trouble. He does manage to hightail it out of there in one piece, but that's just about all that he accomplishes. His jeep is wrecked and he manages to bum a ride with a trucker.

Guy has just about hit rock bottom at this point. He's had all of his powers taken away, not to mention his job and his self-respect. General Glory is no help, and even Ice, although she is sympathetic really doesn't understand. Guy's doing a bit of daydreaming, when it occurs to him that Sinestro had a ring, and he's dead, and...and there's a ring out there, just for the taking! He wakes up and starts babbling about Qward to the startled truckdriver, who thinks that he's nuts, and dumps him back onto the road, in the middle of nowhere.

So Guy has a plan...of sorts, but he's still without transport or help. Then, from out of the midnight sky, who should show up buy G'nort! At first Guy is horrified, and then...you can almost see the wheels turning in his head...it occurs to him that, idiot though he may be, G'nort is the one person in the Universe who will do anything for him. He manages to con G'nort into conjuring up a spaceship for him. It looks like a giant glowing green fire hydrant, but what the heck. He even scratches G'nort behind the ears! You just KNOW that G'nort's leg is thumping, and he's in utter bliss.

So off Guy goes, in his cool new space ship. But then he starts to thinking, that just showing up on Qward or on the Poglachi planet (see a Guy and his G'nort) might not be the smartest thing for him to do. Exactly why he thinks that Lobo can help him, is strange, but keep in mind that this IS Guy Gardner after all, and his thought process is strange. Strange and wonderful. So he crashes on Lobo's planet, unfortunately trashing his pad at the same time, and cheerfully starts calling out Lobo's name. Lobo IS there. Unfortunately for Guy, he is also peeved...!

The artwork is fun, and Joe Staton does some really great expressions. Black Hand is still a rather pathetic character at this point, certainly not the Black Hand that Geoff Johns has created, he's running shady movie houses, and brothels in Times Square, and running around spouting aphorisms, which is quite amusing. I love Guy in this. He may have lost his powers, but he still thinks of himself as a hero, and the lengths that he's willing to go to, to prove that is darned impressive. Insane, but impressive.

Part II, tomorrow.

Mr. Anonymous Strikes Again

A couple of weeks ago, Ragnell had an interesting subject over at "Written World" concerning people who went to month's old posts, and snuck in comments, making themselves the LAST word. It was a nicely written essay as always, and she made some very valid points. For one thing it is awfully sneaky to slither in months later, and make snarky comments. I also find it to be a bit on the cowardly side. If you want to have a hissy fit, then do it when the topic is going, so that EVERYONE can join in.

I really haven't had much in the way of trolls on this blog, possibly because I'm SO brilliant, but more likely because my readers ARE brilliant. And smart. But every once in a while, one does make an appearance.

Because of Ragnell's blog, I had, just for the heck of it, gone back and re-read some of my old posts...and wouldn't you know, there he was! Back on Tuesday, September 25th 2007, I had written an entry about Judd Winick, and my distaste for his "shock" endings. He had written himself, about originally thinking that it would be a GREAT idea to off Black Canary instead of "Ollie", and I had posted that I thought this was a very poor idea. We had some lively conversation about it, and that was that.

Then, lo and behold, LOOOOOONG after the original post had be finished with, I found this little charmer...

"...Don't kill females wah wah wah. Grow a penis."

posted by Anonymous.

Well!

Now, that's just rude. And pointless. And physically impossible.

But I guess it made this dweeb feel better.

Green Lantern #30

And so, the secret origin of Hal Jordan, as told by Geoff Johns continues. And it continues...brilliantly! I know that the story of Hal's origin has been told off and on throughout the years, with twists and turns here and there, but I have to say that I think THIS version is the best so far. Mr. Johns has taken a lot of the familiar bits and pieces, and updated them without losing the original flavor. And it WORKS by Gad.

We get a whole lot more of Abin Sur for one thing. As the story opens, he's in his little ol' spaceship, talking via the ring with none other than his best buddy, Sinestro. He also just happens to have Atrocitus from Ysmault imprisoned. Abin Sur is obsessed with the prophecy of the Blackest Night, and he's bound and determined to figure the whole thing out. Therefore, the reason that he's on Earth makes very good sense

We then get to see our boy Hal. He's been kicked out of the Air Force after trying unsuccessfully to please his dying mother, and he's been at lose ends ever since. He's ended up working for one of his Dad's old buddies, Ken Arden. Exept he's working as a mechanic instead of in the air, because apparently, his reputation for recklessness has preceeded him. I love how Hal is working the "Old Boy" network with both hands.

We get to see Tom Kalmaku, AKA Pie Face, and the boorish way that one of the pilots treats him. Hal stands up for Tom, but in a way it is amusing to see that the oafish pilot Laminski really isn't THAT different from the way that Hal acted in the original version. Hal is eating his heart out, stuck on the ground, and the knife just gets twisted when they truck in an old hulk of a plane, that turns out to be one that his Dad had taken him up in as a kid. So Hal goes off to talk to his boss.




Isn't that the prettiest young Hal that you ever did see? I really love the way that Johns is writing Hal as being young and a bit foolish, not to mention the way that Ivan Reis is DRAWING Hal as being young and still a bit wet behind the ears.

Then Carol shows up.

Hal immediately changes his tone, but Carol, although she does acknowledge his existance, isn't falling for his charm. I really do like Carol. She's doing her best to be professional while swimming in a sea of testosterone.

Hal goes off to sulk a little, and climbs into the cockpit of the old battered plane that had just been hauled onto the airfield. Meanwhile Abin Sur is having his own problems. Atrocitus just won't let up, and there is that strange reflection of the Parallax symbol in Abin Sur's eye just before Atrocitus manages to bust out of his weaked bonds and attack. Did Abin Sur actually weaken here, or is there more to this? I'll tell you one thing, there is a whole lot of yellow light in the cockpit of that spacecraft! Atrocitus manages to jump ship...quite literally, while Abin Sur is forced to stay with the craft in order to guide to an uninhabited area, or else Coast City would probably have gotten blown up a whole lot earlier than it was supposed to.

It is while Hal is musing in the pilot's seat of the old plane that he's snatched by the ring. The ring is busy spouting information as it hauls Hal along, and you get a sense that Hal is just flabberghasted by the whole experience. He arrives at the ship, and enters, only to find that Abin Sur is on his last legs, and offering him the ring. True to his impetuous nature, Hal figures "what the hell?" basically, and gives Abin Sur a final moment of amusement in the idea of an EARTHMAN being a Green Lantern. He dies with a final word on his lips...Sinestro. Hal of course hasn't a clue who or what a Sinestro is, but he has other things to think about as the ring flies onto his finger for the first time.

There is a lovely explanation of the power of the ring and the nature of the Green Lantern uniform, with the Green being hot, and the Black being cold. Hal starts babbleing to himself, and recognizing his willpower, the ring does what he asks. Next thing you know, Hal is flying, and screaming "Holy #?$%!!" at the top of his lungs.



And just like that, Hal's a Green Lantern.

As much as Hal can occasionally annoy me with his character flaws, his arrogance, his frequent stupidity, and so on, I have to admit that he takes to the powers of the ring like a duck to water. Hal's a hero, and he shows it. He ends up inadvertently flying past the pilot from Arden, the oafish Laminski, who is goofing off, and reading girlie magazines when he ought to be paying attention to his plane, and boasting over the radio about how he's gonna nail Carol. Hal startles him, and he loses control of the plane. Hal has to figure out a way to save him, all by the seat of his pants, since he really doesn't have a CLUE as to what to do at this point. And...being Hal, of coures he does.

There are a whole lot of other nice little touches. When it senses other people running to the crash landing of the plane, the ring whips up the mask, which startles Hal. He also doesn't have the emblem of the Lanern on his chest yet, since he's still very much the rawest of rookies. And his uniform is the one with the black shoulders, which I always liked. The rest of the crowd comes running up, including Tom and Carol. Carol manages to stumble over some of the wreckage, and Hal grabs her to keep her from falling, and right then and there, you can see it "click", all without even seeing their eyes. And who is that standing right there and scowling at them?

Heh heh. I'm leaving that a secret. Buy it and find out for yourselves.

Finally!

Yes! I finally got my new books yesturday. It was something of a dilemna trying to read my customary blogs and sites without getting spoiled TOO much. I have to say that it was a pretty darned good week.

Blue Beetle #26 was very good. This was the famous all-Spanish issue, and I thought that they did an excellent job. I took four years of Spanish in High School, but have managed to forget most of it. I DO have an excellent accent however. But I was able to dredge up enough memory that it was fine, and the artwork was clear and concise so that it all made sense anyway. Then I went to the back and read the translation, and it was a relief to know that I had actually figured out a lot of it.

It does just go to show that Jaime has the best support and family in comicbookdom. And that I was sorry the tamales were all gone, because I love tamales.

DC Univers 0 by Grant Morrison and Geoff Johns was rather on the enjoyable side. The art was fun, and there were bits and pieces and hints and clues being laid. The bit where Hal and John are examining the results of Black Hand's little escapade was great, where Hal admits that he's never paid much attention to Black Hand's powers. It is SUCH a Hal thing to say. Don't bother actually trying to study your opponents methods or powers, just jump right in and look fabulous. No wonder John looks a little perturbed. The two-page spread of all the colors of the spectrum was gorgeous.

I honestly may be about the only person that doesn't mind if they bring back Barry Allen. I LIKE Barry, I always have. His honesty and decency made him a likeable sort of fellow. If they can have a bunch of Green Lanterns running around, they can have a bunch of Flashes. It's the same argument really, they may have similar powers, but they are distinctly different kinds of people, and apply their powers in unique ways. And a CSI would be an interesting addition I think. He could team up with Batman. Plus there is that whole unresolved thing from the Lightning Sage still dangling out there.

Green Lantern #30 was fabulous, and I'll get to it tomorrow.

Jack of Fables #22. Another good issue, this one isn't played for laughs for a change, but it DOES have Bigby in it, so I'm overjoyed. And there was a lovely bit at the end with Babe the tiny blue Ox,doing his usual existential bit of hilarity.

JSA Classified #37, featuring Wildcat. Ted and Selina team up and fun things happen.

Teen Titans: Year One. Yes! I have been waiting an awful long time for this, it seems. The story and the artwork are both wonderful, and gosh darn it, it is just so...so CUTE! I love this.

Thor: Ages of Thunder. Wow! This was really good! Matt Fraction has an unnusual take on the old Norse myths and does a very nice job with it. I read the Eddas back in College, heck I even had the runic alphabet memorized at one point in my life, so I really really liked this. The artwork was lovely as well. Thor is a real bastard, but then again, they ALL are to a degree. Is it wrong that I actually like Loki the best?

I hope that EVERYONE enjoyed their comics this week.

Oh, the pain...the PAIN!

As I type this, a teardrop falls onto the keys.

Yesturday being the most holy day of days, I wended my way to my beloved Comic Book Shoppe in search of illustrated sustenance. Sadly, when I arrived, the store was full of slightly peevish men, but NO books. The UPS guy was on vacation, and the replacement UPS guy had not yet arrived. Nor, alas did he EVER arrive. What can Brown Do For Me? Not a hell of a lot!

However, not knowing this at the time, I made my way towards the back of the store and began looting the back-issue boxes. Meanwhile at the front of the store, a couple of young gentlemen had noticed my car and were making a lot of comments about it. Loud comments. One of them liked it, the other just scoffed and said that only OLD people would drive a car like that.

My lower lip began to quiver. It was bad enough that I didn't have my new books (and I WANTED them, dammit!) but now a couple of young whippersnappers were casting aspersions at my age and mode of transportation! I made my way to the counter to pay for my back issues of Green Lantern, and, bag in hand, thanked the young men for their comments, but pointed out that I was STILL under the age of fifty, and hopped into my bright silver Mercedes and drove away, feeling slightly vindicated, but still cranky. If those two ever show up on my lawn, I'll give them SUCH a yellin'!

But I still don't have my books.

*sigh*