Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Showcase Presents: Green Lantern #3

Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!

Now with Guy Gardner's Seal of Approval!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Showcase Presents: Green Lantern #3

God bless DC. They just released the third in their Showcase presents series, of the Silver Age Green Lanterns, reproduced in black and white for poor people like me. Or perhaps lazy people like me. Whatever. This particular collection covers Green Lantern #39 up to #59, which JUST HAPPENS to be, the very first appearance of Guy Gardner. Be still my heart.

These are all apparently written by either John Broome, or Gardner Fox, and drawn by Gil Kane. I don't know what drugs these guys were on...but I WANT some. And I have to admit that Gil Kane REALLY had a thing for drawing Green Lantern Butts. Green Lantern Butts are On Every Page! Mind you, I'm not complaining! Oh no, I actually thrilled right down to my toes.

Let us review then, some of the highlights of this particular tome.

Hal and Alan Scott end up fighting together, and then Alan's body gets taken over with mind control, so they get to fight each other! AND look fabulous doing so.

Somehow, Hal gets to fight mythological creatures from off of old Roman coins. I'm not quite sure how, but he does. He gets to team up with Zatanna and fight Vikings. Myrwhydden shows up for some reason and looks ridiculous. But I suppose that he really can't help that. He and Hal end up tooting their own horns at each other.

Hal and Barry and Iris and Carol all double date! Too bad about the earthquakes. Then the girls forget that they knew that Hal was Green Lantern and Barry was the Flash. Hal is relieved, although Barry...not so much. Tom "Pieface" Kalmaku gets to play with Hal's Lantern. Hmmmm...that sounds a bit dirty.

One of my favorites is that Hal's little brother Jim's wife Sue thinks that Jim is actually Green Lantern. Jim keeps denying it, but Hal uses it for all it's worth. They also hang out with their rich relative Uncle Titus a lot. Poor Jim. Stupid Sue. Hal really has a mean streak in him.

Hal gets framed for a robbery and goes to jail! Then all the Green Lanterns think that he's dead! Katma Tui gets and appearance! Woohoo! Even Sinestro shows up. There is a LOT of stuff going on in these issues! In the present day, it would take about ten years for all of this stuff to be resolved, but this all happens in a mere twenty issues.

I have to admit however, that except for #59, which is Guy's first appearance, my favorite issue has to be the one where the Guardians think that Hal's having a nervous breakdown from overwork, so they take his ring away. It turns out that the RING is having the nervouse breakdown. Hal's lying around taking it easy, when he spots..." Hmmm! a National Park grizzly bear chasing a young boy...and a pretty young lady...too bad Green Lantern's on vacation...!" But being Hal, he can't just lie there and watch the bear eat the young boy and the pretty young lady, so, sans ring, he jumps up and PUNCHES THE BEAR WITH HIS HEAD!

'Cuz that's how Hal Jordan rolls.

He then punches the bear in the face, causing its eyes to go crosseyed. He ducks, he swerves, he jumps up on a tree branch and kicks the bear in the chin! THEN, he grabs a handy bee-hive and ...without a single sting...he throws the bee-hive AT the bear, saying "This ought to keep him Bee-zy! How PUNNY of me!"


Utterly defeated, the bear runs away, pursured by vengeful bees. The pretty young lady, who turns out to be Eve Doremus, runs over and slobbers all over Hal, as does her young brother. Not being one to pass up a good opportunity, Hal accepts their offer to follow them home and lounge in their pool and use all of their guest rooms, not to mention their cars and boats.

Hal is lounging around in bed, and comes to the conclusion that the problems he'd been having earlier must be the ring's fault, not HIS! It's NEVER Hal's fault. The Guardians of course, have come to the same conclusion, but they use some actual experimentation and evidence. Meanwhile, theives have broken in, and again, without his ring, BUT wearing his costume, Hal attacks, jumping off a balcony and punching a thug in mid-air. There are a LOT of ass-shots. There's even a crotch-shot, as Hal tries to imitate Batman,and jumps up, kicking two thugs simultaneously. However they do overpower him, and one hits him in the HEAD with what appears to be a random Oscar statue. Just as they about to fill him full of lead, his ring reappears on his finger! Those Guardians have a great sense of timing!

Eve however, is terrified for poor Hal's safety and runs up to his room, hotly pursued by Hal himself. Even Hal is surprised to see what appears to be HIMSELF open his bedroom door and comfort Eve! The Guardians have a great sense of humor as well as timing.


Somehow...Hal always comes out smelling like a rose.


At 9:27 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Oops. Forgot to add this. Go and check out Scipio at the Absorbacon. He's done a FABULOUS blog about the Eyes of Hal Jordan! How does he do it? Magnificently of course!

At 2:19 PM, Blogger Sea-of-Green said...

Sneaking in from my weekend festivities -- Carb Day was WET and COLD! Ewwwwww ...

So, if GL Showcase #3 covers issues up through the first one with Guy, then you also HAD to have seen the one where Hal dumps Carol for Zsa Zsa Gabore at a party ...? That one ALWAYS cracks me up. I keep meaning to do a post about it. THEN Hal wonders why Carol ends up dumping him for Jason Belmore. The moron.

YES, Gil Kane was the MASTER -- the MASTER, I tell you -- of drawing male butts! Ya just can't have a Green Lantern without him (or her!) having a fabulous backside. It's tradition, and Gil Kane started it! :-)

Okay, back to watching cars. Vroom, vroom!

At 4:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was Gil Kane a closeted homosexual?

At 7:16 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Anonymous...what does that have to do with anything?

Sea, I understand that the weather IS supposed to clear up, and Race Day will be lovely.

I haven't gotten to the one with Zsa Zsa Gabor yet. I've just been picking through the book, and bursting into hysterical laughter. There is fun on EVERY page!

At 12:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My favorite out of this lot was "My Mastermind, the Car" and the new, chubby version of Sinestro. Apparently being trapped in amber makes you put on weight. Most embarrassing major villain appearance since Galactus got put down by Aunt May as the Golden Oldie.

At 1:51 PM, Blogger SallyP said...

He's Hal. He always wins. Or at least fakes it.


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