Now That It's All Done...

Now that the first month of DC's relaunch is more or less finished, what did everybody think? I think that they had some really GOOD books, a lot of decent books, a fair number of mediocre books, and boy, some really terrible books. In other words, pretty much what was there BEFORE the relaunch.

These were my favorites. Your mileage may vary.

Action Comics
Wonder Woman
Aquaman
Green Lantern Corps
Green Lantern
All Star Western
Justice League International
Demon Knights
The Flash
Batwoman

I enjoyed the heck out of these books.

These were the ones that I liked, but not quite as much. But still enough to buy them on a regular basis and hope for the best.

Resurrection Man
DCUniverse Presents
Justice League Dark
Swamp Thing
Justice League
Firestorm
Hawkman
Batman & Robin

These books rather surprised me. I wasn't planning on getting most of them, but wound up being quite pleased. Not quite knocked out of my socks, but perfectly happy to read.

These were the books that were...ok. Not great, not terrible, but I like the characters, and heck, there is always room for improvement. If there is one thing that I tend to be, it is hopeful.

Green Arrow
Birds of Prey
Red Lanterns
Green Lantern: New Guardians
Blue Beetle
Batgirl
Nightwing


Then there were the ones that I was so hopeful about...and have decided to cross off of my list after one viewing.

Suicide Squad
Catwoman
Red Hood and the Outlaws
Mister Terrific

There are quite a fiew more that I never even looked at, because I really can't stand Deathstroke in ANY universe, and Zinda wasn't in Blackhawks, and I wouldn't touch Hawk and Dove with a 12 foot pole.

I find that I'm missing a lot of good characters, and I'm not quite sure how continuity works anymore, but all in all, I am...cautiously optimistic. Things turned out...for the most part pretty well. But man, when they messed up, they messed up BIG!

What were YOUR favorites?

Thursday's Reviews

And so we come to the final week of the initial relaunch of the DC Universe books. And it was...an interesting week for sure.

All Star Western #1

Jonah Hex in Olde Gotham. Be still my heart. We have (thank god) the same creators as we had in Jonah Hex,so things just move smoothly into the new book. For some reason, Jonah has moved east, and ends up in Gotham City of all places, having been hired to help find a Jack-The-Ripper type of killer. He ends up teaming up with none other than Doctor Amadeus Arkham.

Someone is killing off Gotham's Soiled Doves, and Jonah isn't happy about it. There are conflicting bits of evidence, and all manner of skullduggery. This is, to put it frankly...quite quite fabulous.

Aquaman #1

Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis! What's not to like? I've missed Ivan's beautiful beautiful artwork on Green Lantern, but since I also love Doug Mahnke's art, I do not begrudge his pencils on Aquaman. Besides...I LIKE Aquaman. I've always liked Aquaman, and yes, I DID watch Superfriends.

It seems as though everybody else also used to watch Superfriends, because even though Arthur shows up and helps the cops grab some thieves...awesomely, I might add...nobody seems quite able to believe that he's able to do the stuff that he's doing. He decides to go and get some lunch, and ends up at a nice little seafood diner, that his father used to take him to as a young lad. Everyone has a heart attack when he wanders in, they can't believe that he's in a SEAFOOD place. Although, considering he lives underwater, what ELSE is he going to eat? Various people are giving him a lot of crap, especially, the blog writer from the next table, who asks a lot of officious and incredibly rude questions. He handles it fairly well, until he's asked how he likes being everyone's least favorite superhero, at which point he stomps out in a huff, and who can blame him. He does pay for his uneaten lunch however, because Aquaman is a stand-up sort of guy, and the gold doubloons that he gives the waitress will put her kids through college.

So he wanders back to the lighthouse, and tells Mera that he's had it up to HERE with the Atlanteans and they're just going to hang out and have a life together. At this point he sweeps her up in his arms, but they aren't doing it in the dirt or raping each other or anything icky. Heck, they're still married! Oh, and there are some really horrible looking creatures who have swum up from the bottom of the ocean, and they're awfully hungry.

This is great. Beautiful to look at and fun to read.

Firestorm #1

Well...THAT was violent! Some very very bad people are looking for...something, and they aren't afraid to kill a whole lot of innocent people to get it. Also, Ronnie Raymond is a football player, and Jason is...not, and they don't really like each other very much even though they probably have a lot in common, and then the bad bad people show up and MORE innocent people get killed, and somehow Jason had the...thing that they're looking for, and he and Ronnie get turned into Firestorm.

I never really read the original Firestorm, although I liked him perfectly well in the Justice League...so I don't know if this is wildly out of character or not the original origin. It seems like a perfectly decent comic...nothing absolutely outstanding, or terrible...but man a whole lot of people get killed.

The Flash #1

I liked this. They didn't go through the whole origin again, wisely assuming that we know enough by now about how this all happened. Barry is competent and even a little charming, and the artwork is adorable. There are bad guys about, and the Flash defeats them, but then they find a dead body, and it looks originally as though he may have been accidentally killed by...the FLASH! Barry is heartsick about it, but then to twist the knife even more, it turns out to be an old buddy of his! Iris West is a pesky reporter, but they aren't married anymore. Then his old buddy turns up...alive! Too bad that there are a whole CRAPLOAD of him!

I liked this a lot, and wish to see more of it.

Green Lantern: New Guardians #1

I can hardly believe this, but...I am no thrilled with this book. We have Tony Bedard back again, and I was perfectly happy with his writing on Green Lantern Corp. The writing is perfectly fine with this book, although they've altered Kyle's origin a little bit. Now he's going into the alley to take a leak, which I find rather...charmless when Ganthet shows up. It also seems as though Ganthet was LOOKING for Kyle, as opposed to just finding him in that alley.

Back to the present, and we see various members of the various Corps, doing their various things. A member of the Sinestro Corps is threatening some Kunds, when his ring flies off, and he gets his much-deserved comeuppance. A Rage Lantern is busy...um...raging when his ring flies off and he drops dead. A nice Star Sapphire is protecting family love when her ring flies off, and she almost drops dead, but Fatality shows up and saves her and the family which was nice of her.

Then we are back to Kyle, and a crane operator who spots him flying by and is all excited and talking on the phone to a buddy. The crane starts to fall, and Kyle saves him, because that is the sort of thing that Kyle does, when he's approached by an adorable moppet, who then cold-bloodedly starts to diss his uniform and talk about how fabulous Hal is. Poor Kyle. Usually Guy is the only one who gets this sort of thing happening to him. Kyle takes it well, and is bantering back and forth the moppet, when suddenly a bunch of rings show up and they all WANT him. Kyle realizes that this is probably not a GOOD thing, and tells the moppets mother to get the heck out of there which is good advice because hot on the heels of the rings, comes Arkillo, Fatality, Munk, and Bleez. And boy howdy are they pissed.

So...it's not a bad story. But I didn't like the artwork by Tyler Kirkham at all. Kyle is too beefy, and too...unshaven. I don't mind a bit of stubble, which can be awfully sexy, but with the way Kyle looks, and his hair, he looks as though he hasn't showered or shaved in a week. Everyone's torsos are elongated, the women all look waifish, and it's probably just my taste. but we've been awfully spoiled when it came to Green Lantern artwork, and I can't say that I care for this. Still...it IS Kyle, so I'll be sticking with it. But Fatality and Bleez are showing BOTH their butts and boobs in typical comic woman fashion, and it's tiresome.

The Savage Hawkman #1

I picked this up purely out of curiosity. Hawkman has never been much of a favorite of mine, but I figured what the heck. They've certainly simplified his backstory, that's for sure. Now he's a cryptologist, which is interesting. He's also trying to destroy the Hawk wings in the opening scene, which doesn't go exactly as he planned.

Meanwhile, his boss has unearthed an old alien ship, and needs his help deciphering what is going on. Naturally, nasty alien sorts of things are unleashed, and against his will, Carter is transformed into Hawkman. The art was actually rather painterly and nice, by Philip Tan,and the story wasn't terrible, so I just might stick with this one for a while.

Justice League Dark #1

Again, I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but it has Zatanna in it and John Constantine, and oh, what the heck. And I enjoyed Madam Xanadu over in the Demon book a lot. The art is awfully pretty and the story is interesting, and Shade the Changing man shows up and the Enchantress is going bonkers and Deadman is there and Batman, Cyborg and Wonder Woman get their butts kicked, and Batman gets trounced by Zatanna, which I enjoyed a lot. So I guess I'll stick with this one too, and see where it goes.

So...not a bad week at all.

Tuesday Thumpings

Oh, the joy I feel whenever Batman takes one to the noggin. It's not quite as satisfying as ogling a really really fine Green Lantern behind...but close. So very close.

The Brave & The Bold is Still Fabulous

Did anyone watch the new episode of the Brave & the Bold that was on Friday? It...it had the Creeper! And Catman. CATMAN! And the Justice League, with Guy finally realizing that he likes Ice, and to put the cherry on top of the comical sundae, it had RIP HUNTER! I almost fainted with delight. Also Batman disappeared, and they had to go traveling through time, to find all the OTHER Batmen, and...and...oh, it was just so much fun.

Batman wasn't humping anyone however, so it may not appeal to the target group for DC.

Why I Won't Be Reading Catwoman Anytime Soon

Yes, I'm weighing in on the great boob war currently raging. And it is quite possible that I will get a lot of outraged responses from horny twenty-something boys who greatly enjoy looking at Catwoman's breasts. But really people...We are in the middle of a huge company-wide relaunch. Beloved characters have been wiped from existance, continuity is out the door, relationships are suddenly awry, and DC is searching desperately for new readers.

And this is what they serve up?

No, I'm not going to show you the pictures. There are plenty of other places you can see them. And I LIKE Selina. I think that Catwoman is an old, valuable and interesting character. She helps to humanize Batman, it's nice to have that sexual tension between their two characters. I understand that she is a sexy cat burglar who slinks around in a skintight black leather suit, while carrying a whip. Believe me...I get it.

But she is also an interesting character in her own right, and she's been around for a VERY long time, and I think that she deserves better. As you may all have figured out from my previous rantings, I am NOT pleased with Judd Winick of late. He just cannot write women for some reason. Selina is reduced to being an object of mere titillation for the viewer. The MALE viewer. The artist doesn't even show her face for quite a while. The coloring is mostly black and white, with her wearing that BRIGHT red bra, so that it even more, is the First Thing That You See. Breasts. Breasts all over the place.

I don't mind breasts. I happen to have a rather spectacular pair myself. But seriously boys. Would you be quite as thrilled if you opened an issue of Green Lantern and ALL that you saw, was Hal's dick thrusting into your face, page after page after page? Heck, most of the guys who are busy drooling over Selina's cleavage are the same ones that go into a tizzy over a hint of a bulge in a male costume.

I don't mind Selina and Bruce being together. I don't mind them "doing it". I don't particularly want to see it shown rather graphically however. I admit it, I'm a romantic. I have a crystal chandelier and a fireplace in my bedroom for heaven's sake. I've rather enjoyed the teasing, the sidelong glances, the will-they-or-won't-they byplay over the years. But this scene of them grunting and rolling around on a rooftop, when they don't even KNOW their identities is not in the least romantic. It is simply lust, and the probably exchange of body fluids.

Ick.

Maybe when Winick decides to go off and savage some other book, and they get a REAL writer back, I'll decide to read Catwoman again. But for now, count me out.

Green Lantern Corps #1

Oh yeah. It was so nice to get back to the Green Lanterns, after the more or less throwaway issues the last couple of months. They weren't BAD...but I did miss Peter Tomasi and Fernando Pasarin. Emerald Warriors is no more, but we have the same creators doing Green Lantern Corps, and although it is Guy and John instead of Guy and Kyle...I'm happy. So happy.

We begin with some nice Green Lanterns in their local Sector House, taking out the trash. This usually means that these poor Lanterns might just as well be wearing red shirts, and that's exactly what happens. A bad guy of unknown origins, but obviously powerful makes mincemeat out of them.

Now that we've set up the threat, let us move onto more pleasant things. We have Guy Gardner sitting all alone in a planetarium listening to the spiel,which I find oddly amusing. He then realizes that he's supposed to be at a job interview, where, he is immediately mobbed by the other applicants. Guy IS a celebrity after all, which is something that I tend to forget. The others are so excited, they want him to do stuff with his ring, and pose for a picture, and tell them who his favorite sports teams are and so on and so forth. Guy handles it all with more grace than I would have imagined...especially the part about being second the Hal.

Oh Guy.

It turns out to be a job being a High School football coach, which is actually something that I can completely see him wanting to be. The nice lady interviewing him, thinks that he'd probably be quite fabulous at it...but they can't hire him because he'd be too big a liability, the possibility of the school being attacked by his villains is too high.

Damn.

Next, we move on to John Stewart, who is meeting with several dignitaries and such, about putting up a building. He's trying to explain to them, that building it with superior safety features is a GOOD thing, and they only want to do the minimum safety requirements, because otherwise it will be too expensive. They are also impressed with the software displayed by his ring, and immediately start thinking of ways to make money off of it. John explains that there IS no software, it's just his mind, but they really don't understand...or want to. He's getting more and more frustrated by their stonewalling him at every turn, and finally loses his temper and takes them for a glowing green ride, which probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but he's getting awfully fed up with their devotion to budgets instead of strength.

Meanwhile, on the watery planet Nerro, bad things seem to be happening. At first I read the name of the planet as being Nerrd...which cracked me up.

So...after a long day of trying to fit in, back on earth we have this lovely scene.



Since Guy is back on earth joining the Justice League International, I guess that he's given up living on Oa for the time being, which is just as well. It's rather nice to have Guy and John back on earth for a change. But they have learned the hard way that it is impossible for either of them to have a "normal" life anymore.

They do wend their way back to Oa, where Guy makes his usual theatrical entrance, while John is more staid. Salaak pretends to not care, but I'm sure he's glad they're back. They aren't too happy about the dead Lanterns, and round up a posse to go and check things out, including Hannu, Vandor, Isamot, Brik and Sheriff Mardin, which is an eclectic bunch to be sure. I haven't seen Sheriff Mardin in AGES! They get to Nerro, and are a bit surprised to find themselves on dry land, when it is supposed to be a water world.

Oops. About that.

Gosh darn it, the art was so pretty. Pasarin has a very different style from Pat Gleason, but it is amazing how much his Guy is based on Gleason's Guy. The colors just glow, and it is all very polished and pretty. I LOVE it when Tomasi has these little character moments. It's nice to be reminded that Guy loves working with kids, and that John is an architect. I was quite impressed with John in this issue, sure he is stoic, but there was a bit of that old crusader zeal popping out that I haven't seen in him for a while. I thought that Tomasi did an excellent job of showing John in an interesting light.

I was a bit surprised to see that Sheriff Mardin is no longer short and round, but apparently the standard svelte comic book female shape. And Brik isn't made out of rocks anymore either, apparently. Does EVERYBODY have to be "pretty"?

Still, all and all it was fun to see Guy and John working together for a change. They usually are paired up with either Hal or Kyle, it's nice to see the two smart ones together. They also seem to be coping with their private lives a bit better than Hal, even if they are having some problems fitting in. Can you imagine Hal working with kids?

Good. Good stuff.

Thursday's Reviews

Well...there were some highs and some lows, but that is pretty much typical for every week. Let us begin.

Blue Beetle #1

Um...exactly why are we doing this over again? The "new" Blue Beetle, written by Keith Giffen and John Rogers of a couple of years ago, was practically perfect in every way. A charming teenaged hero, who just happened to be a minority. A stellar supporting cast. A magnificent and dastardly menace to fight. An amazing concept that had been used before, with Dan Garrett and Ted Kord, and yet given a twist and a reworking that was amazing. It may not have been a huge monetary success, but it certainly was a critical one, receiving praise from far and wide.

So naturally...they felt that they had to tweak it. We have Tony Bedard writing, and Ig Guara drawing it. We still have Jaime Reyes, we still have his parents, and his little sister Milagro. We still have Paco and Brenda. But...but the CHARM is gone. Jaime is whiney and sullen. Paco is suddenly a high-school drop-out and a bit of a jerk. Brenda is a cipher. Milagro has no speaking part. Booster Gold, and Ted Kord had nothing to do with his origin. He wasn't lost in space for a year. He just happens to find a packpack with the Scarab in it. Granted, a Green Lantern does show up, but it is merely an adequate comic book...instead of a magnificent one.

It reminds me more of a 90's comic book. Everyone is very very muscular, and tough and violent. The...sweetness is gone. Unless this changes very quickly, then I doubt that I'll continue with this...although I will give it a chance to have Guy Gardner show up. Which might redeem it. A bit.

Birds of Prey #1

Well...it wasn't terrible. But it certainly wasn't anything special. Barbara Gordon does show up, but it seems very awkward, and there certainly isn't any sort of closeness or cameraderie between her or Dinah. Dinah is still the Black Canary, and she still kicks butt, and apparently she is still mistakenly wanted by the law, but now her bestest buddy is some chick named Starling, who seems to be a party girl. I don't know what else she does. Katanna and Ivy don't show up.

I guess that I'll give it a few more issues to hook me. But I miss Zinda. And Helena. And Misfit, and Barda and Oracle. It's just not the same.

DC Universe Presents: Deadman #1

This was actually pretty good. I like Deadman, and they don't seem to have changed him all that much. It's an origin of sorts, and seems fairly philosophical, and not a whole lot actually happens, but I found it to be modestly interesting, so I'll stick around and see what happens next.

Fables #102

It's rather nice to read a book that doesn't have a number one for a change. Fables continues the story of Bufkin in Oz, and the search for a new North Wind, and a number of other plot points. Good as always.

Nightwing #1

I'm actually rther surprised at myself for buying this, but I had been thoroughly enjoying Dick as Batman, so I figured I'd give it a whirl. Dick is back in the Nightwing suit...or actually a NEW Nightwing suit, and seems to be fairly comfortable doing so. The circus...HIS circus is back in town and he decides to visit, and then is attacked by a mysterious bad guy whom he makes the mistake of underestimating. Not mindboggling, but perfectly pleasant, so I guess I'll be sticking around to see where it goes.

Wonder Woman #1

Now THIS I liked. I liked it a lot. Brian Azzarello does a fine job with Diana, and Cliff Chiang has purty purty art. Strange strange things are happening in the world, with mysterious mythlike figures popping up violently all over the place. The scene with the centaurs is grisly, but well-done. There is a beleagured young lady, an overmatched defender, and a key, and suddenly Diana asleep in London of all places. But by gum, she's back to being the REAL Diana, and hops out of bed and into her Wonder Woman suit, to go and defend the helpless and fight the baddies, and it is a rollicking good time.

Green Lantern Corps #1

Oh yes. God yes. More tomorrow.

So, two that thrilled me, a couple that were good enough and a couple that were doubtful. I was particularly disappointed with Blue Beetle because I LOVE Jaime, and I wanted...Oh How I Wanted to like this. But it just seems so pointless.

I also took a quick gander at Catwoman and Jason and the Outsiders, or whatever the heck it is called, and threw up a little in my mouth. So...no.

Sweet Sweet Wednesday

And the new books continue to roll out. I have to say that I am really looking forward to Green Lantern Corps the most this week. Although I don't believe that much is going to change, I've missed Tomasi and Pasarin, and I am anxious to see how Guy and John are going to get along...considering they were more or less at one another's throats only a few issues ago.

Wonder Woman is also coming out, and I'm looking forward to that book as well. I'm curious to see what is going to happen with Birds of Prey, and of course, Blue Beetle. Not quite sure WHY we are redoing Blue Beetle...it's not very old, and it was pretty damned fabulous just the way that it was.

But all of this is mere speculation...off to the Comic Book Shoppe!

Tuesday Thumpings

I decided to change things up a bit this week. Normally, I would be offering you another toothsome rendering of Hal getting thwacked, or maybe Guy or Kyle. Probably not John. John just doesn't seem to be hit in the head. Heck, even Alan got hit in the head sometimes.

But I saw this...and couldn't resist.



Booyah!

That's Mister Reyes, aka Jaime, the "Blue Beetle's" Dad. Thumping an unknown baddie WITH HIS CANE! The Reyes family are some of the best supporting characters ever.

Finally Saw The Green Hornet

I seem to be watching a lot of movies lately. The Green Hornet remake showed up on HBO last night, and I finally had a chance to sit down and watch it. Well...it was certainly loud. And had a lot of explosions. And the car was nice. Kato was easy on the eyes.

I can't say that I was much impressed with the guy playing Britt Reid. Seth Rogan? He was...well, he was pretty much a real jerk. I remember watching the original show on television (yes, I'm old) when I was a kid, and the guy who played Britt Reid was on the suave side. Handsome too. And Bruce Lee as Kato was fabulous. And the car of course.

Anyway. I'm awfully awfully glad that I didn't pay any money to go out and see this. It wasn't the WORST movie that I've ever seen...but it was far from the best.

Now that Thor is out on dvd, I may actually go out and buy it and watch it!

The Brave & the Bold

Finally...FINALLY I got to see the new "Brave & the Bold" show that had Wonder Woman and Steve Trevor in the beginning, and then Hal Jordan and Star Sapphire! It was of course...hilarious. Batman was just utterly dumbfounded that Diana would hang out with Steve, who spent the entire time being tied up to a missile and chattering away about how his Angel was going to save him. God, I miss Steve Trevor.

Then we had Bats and Hal. In a rather clever move, Ferris Air and Hal are the ones who test-drive Batman's latest technology, so to speak. Naturally this means that Hal spends most of his time blowing up expensive machinery...and LOVING IT! He's also naturally, quite cavalier in his treatment of Carol, who spends her time mooning around after him, and being mocked by a sloe-eyed woman reporter.

Oh, and there is the Star Sapphire, who is back to being picked by the Zamarons to be their evil queen. You are lead to believe that the bitchy reporter is Star Sapphire, but surprise! It really IS Carol all along, and Hal knows it, and is actually trying to protect her. Hal comes off as actually being responsible, and even tells Carol that he loves her...which is certainly a bit of a switch from the comic books. But it is fun,and it was nice to see Hal. Too bad there wasn't any Guy, but I suppose one can't have everything.

God, I love this show. Exactly WHY are they cancelling it?

Well That was a Hoot

I finally say "Megamind" on HBO the other night, because I hardly ever acually physically go out to the movies, and because I'm cheap. But it was a hoot. A hoot and a half!

And the whole time that he's fighting with Metro Man in the beginning...all I could think of, was that Metro Man may have been a riff on Superman...but in personality...he was ALL Booster Gold.

Oh, and that the villain's name was "Hal" also cracked me up.

Green Lantern #1

Oh Sinestro...you bad bad boy. And yet...as we all know, bad boys can sometimes be just so good. In a bad way. Or something.

The Green Lantern books are probably going to sail right through the new DC relaunch, more or less unchanged. After all, why screw with a good thing? Geoff Johns and Doug Mahnke are still on Green Lantern, which is a good thing because I LOVE Geoff Johns and Doug Mahnke on Green Lantern!

As we begin, the Guardians still have Sinestro all chained up, and he's reciting the oath for their pleasure, and getting a bit testy, as who can really blame him. Despite all of their...shall we say differences...over the years, the Guardians still think that giving Sinestro a ring, and sending him back to Korugar is a dandy idea. And so they do. Sinestro STILL thinks that the Guardians are losers, and STILL thinks that he's right and completely justified in everything that he's done. Ganthet is the lone dissenting voice, and when he tries to explain that letting one of their greatest enemies loose with one of THEIR rings and a power battery may be just this side of insane, the rest of the munchkins turn on him.

Poor Ganthet.

Stupid Guardians.

Meanwhile, back on earth, Hal is having a bit of a problem...adjusting to normal life. It's been quite a long time since he's HAD a normal life, and even then, being a hotshot test pilot isn't your run-of-the-mill sort of job. His landlord isn't too excited with him, and suddenly, Hal sees what looks like a mugging going on in the next-door apartment, and he leaps OFF of the balcony, and tries to save the fair-haired damsel in distress! Oops. It's actually a television or movie set, and gosh, is Hal's face red!

Carol comes and bails him out, and gently tries to explain that he can't fly, because he's uninsurable...but that there are other things that he can still do to earn a paycheck, and that MOST people have to suck it up and earn a living. I get the feeling that her words of wisdom are going right in Hal's shell-like ear and out the other. Obviously Hal's not paying a whole lot of attention, but he DOES ask her out, which she considers to be a positive sign at least.

Sinestro, has been observing Korugar, which he left under the care of the Sinestro Corps. They...haven't been the best caretakers, and he's starting to get pissed, when one of his earstwhile cohorts shows up, all full of piss and vinegar. He's a little startled to discover that this random Green Lantern is ACTUALLY his boss, and tries to tattle to Arkillo. Sinestro handles that in his usual...efficient manner. Quite frankly, I'm a little bit sorry for the the Sinestro Corps hanging out on Korugar, because I'm pretty sure that they are in for an extreme ass-whuppin'.

Back on earth, Hal and Carol are having a nice dinner together. Hal even seems as though he had actually paid a tiny bit of attention to what Carol was trying to tell him, saying that his ring has moved on, and he should do so too...and he has something to ask her. Something important.

Carol leans forward, lips parted, expectantly, waiting...waiting to hear those words from Hal...and he asks her if she'll cosign on a car loan for him.

Oh...Hal.

At this point I just about lost it. The look on poor Carol' face is priceless. Hal is completely clueless of course. She dumps her drink over his head and walks out, and then Hal trails after her, whining that she was the one who drove. He's quite flabberghasted to discover that she was hoping that he might actually be proposing to her, and is stupid enough to make it abundantly obvious to Carol that he IS flabberghasted.

He then trudges home in the rain, to discover his belongings sitting out in the hall and an eviction notice on his door. But not to worry, because SOMEone is standing in the hallway as well. Someone with a solution.

I have to admit it...I absolutely loved this. I find the aspect of Hal being stuck on earth, without his ring, and without his powers, broke, homeless and as stupid as ever...simply delicious. Because finally, FINALLY...he knows what it's like, when he took away Guy Gardner's ring waaaaaay back when. And you all know what Guy did. He continued to fight the good fight anyway that he could, and then he went and figured out a way to go and find Sinestro's yellow ring, getting help from Lobo, going to Qward, going to Oa, and stealing it off of Sinestro's corpse. THAT'S gumption! We'll see if Hal does half as well. Because it serves him right.

And it's funny.

Thursday's Reviews

And the new books just continue to roll along. We had some palpable hits, and a few misses this week.

Batman & Robin #1

Tomasi and Gleason! Woohoo! Damian paired up with Bruce instead of Dick! Slightly less woohoo, but still not bad.

We begin with...something...picking off the various Batmen Inc., at least that is my assumption. Tough luck for the poor Russian Bat. Meanwhile, back at stately Wayne Manor...Bruce is brooding over a photograph of his parents. They're dead, you know. He hauls Damian out of bed, and they go off to Crime Alley, for one last pilgrimage, before it's demolished and rennovated, which is actually a pretty good deal, all things considered. Bruce has finally decided that rather than honor the anniversary of their deaths, he's going to honor their wedding anniversary instead, which is probably the most healthy feeling that he's had in a very long time. Damian is his usual sarcastic and snarky self, But Bruce seems to be...dealing with it. Oh, and the bad guys show up, siphoning off radioactive fluid of some kind, and Robin blows them up, and Bruce saves the block, and all KINDS of cool stuff happens.

This is excellent, as can be expected from these two creators.

Batwoman #1

It's been one heck of a long wait for this book, but it's probably worth it. The artwork is exquisite, naturally. Kate is still running about, although she's a bit at odds with her father at the moment, and seems to be trying to break in a sidekick. She's also trying to find out what is happening to kidnapped children. It's awfully pretty and a bit spooky, and just darned good.

Demon Knights #1

I wasn't going to pick this up, but then I heard some good things about it, and I am awfully glad that I did. It has Etrigan of course, AND Jason Blood, and Madame Xanadu, and Ytsin, and some other people, and Vandal Savage shows up and Mordu and there is sorcery and dragons, and...and stuff. There are some rather amusing moments in with all the mayhem, and the art is pretty and the story moves right along, and by cracky, I'll be continuing with this one.

Green Lantern #1

Oh...that was great. More anon.

Red Lanterns #1

Well...it wasn't terrible. I don't quite know what I was expecting. Dex-Starr shows up and shows off his catlike fury, which was fun. Atrocitus is worried that he's losing his edge. There are a bunch of other Red Lanterns, but they just frolic around being cranky for the most part. Bleez is back to being incoherent, which is a shame. Somehow she must have escaped from Zardor, when she had been taken prisoner in Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors, along with Sodam Yat, a few months back. How did that storyline end, anyway? Oh...that's right...it DIDN'T. Maybe we'll find out what happened eventually.

It was ok. Not great, not terrible.

Resurrection Man #1

Oh Mitch...I've missed you. I loved the original book, and I'm so happy to have it back. Mitch ends up on a plane for some reason, with magnetic powers. And a mysterious woman shows up, and everything goes to heck, and there are OTHER mysterious beings after him, and gosh, it's all just a lot of fun. And pretty decent art again, which is nice.

Suicide Squad #1

Urgh. I wanted to like this, I did. I love Deadshot, and I'm rather fond of Harley, and I even like King Shark from the Secret Six. At first I thought that it was going to BE like the Secret Six...but of course it's not. The Suicide Squad has been captured on their first mission and are being tortured and questioned and whatnot, and poor Savant, gives up and spills the beans, and gets dragged off, and that's the last they see of Savant. The rest of them don't crack however, and it turns out that the whole thing was just a jolly little exercise to see which of them was the toughest. And some thin attractive black woman shows up claiming in to be Amanda Waller.

Haw! That's not Amanda Waller. I don't know what they have done with her, but until she returns, I doubt that I'll be reading this book. And yes, Harley's new outfit is just as painful as it looks, and King Shark is suddenly a hammerhead, and has lost his wit and joie de vivre.

Sigh.

I also picked up Swamp Thing, from last week, and I should have gotten it last week, because it was pretty darned good. AND pretty art. We're doing quite well on the art this week.

I was going to pick up Mister Terrific, but I couldn't find it for some reason. Maybe next week, if we got shorted.

I still miss a lot of things about the OLD DC universe, but thus far, the new one isn't completely awful.

I Had This Brilliant Idea...!

...and then I forgot to write it down, and can't remember a thing. Other than it's apparent awesomeness. I hate it when I do that. Now you're stuck with whatever bizarre ramblings I come up with.

Bizarre Rambling #1...If they don't get Guy and Tora back together, maybe he could date Zinda. Other than her being a woman and a whole lot smarter, it would be just like dating Hal!

Bizarre Rambling #2...There was a young man at the Comic Book Store today, who was thrilled beyond belief that there was one copy left of Rob Liefeld's Hawk & Dove. I tried not to snicker. At least not in the store. In my car on the way home however...! Sometimes I am not a nice person.

Bizarre Rambling #3...My computer told me that my "cookies were disabled" whatever the hell that is. I like cookies. I would like my computer to give them to me, but can't figure out which slot they come out of. If anyone knows, please tell me.

Bizarre Rambling #4...With the new history in JLI, I guess Guy and Fire never slept together. For some reason, this annoys me. It probably annoys Guy too.

If anyone has any bizarre ramblings of their own, please feel free to share!

Tuesday Thumpings

I'm beginning to like the idea of this. A weekly homage to head trauma.



Haw! One punch!

Oh...wait.

Whew!

After the weekend, it is almost a relief to go back to work! Almost. Two parades, and two weddings. I'm exhausted.

But on the other hand, I'm never too exhausted to discuss comic books.

I'm still having fun dissecting the new Justice League International. I'm mainly concerned whether or not Guy and Tora are getting back together. What about Gavril and Fire? Nobody seems to even notice that poor Vixen is even there.

I've thought of another reason that the U.N. didn't decide to go with Guy as the Leader. Seriously, they want someone that they can control. Guy Gardner does NOT fit that description...not even in the old brain-dead days. Of course, he doesn't know that, but I'm sure that it's going to come up eventually.

I can't help but wonder...if Generation Lost is no longer in continuity, and this is the first time that they are all getting together...does this mean that Max Lord can go back to being a good guy? Or that they could...possibly...maybe...bring in Ted Kord? NOT as the Blue Beetle necessarily...but as their weapons and computer guy or something? I think that I would faint with delight.

And L-Ron. I'd love to see L-Ron.

Justice League International #1

And so...this was the one book that I was really really looking forward to, since I have nothing but happy memories of the old JLI. This is a bunch of characters that I will always love to read about...or at least most of them. I have a few quibbles and a few questions, but really for the most part...I'm happy with this new book.

We begin with some national leaders, who are gathered together with questions about the JLA. They like having them around...but feel that they don't have any control over their activities...which makes them nervous. So, they decide to form their OWN Justice League. One that they can control. There is a bit of commentary back and forth, but they come up with some candidates, most of which are accepted. Plastic Man and the Green Arrow didn't make the cut however, and neither does Jaime, the new Blue Beetle, because they don't want any rookies. There is also some trouble going on with demonstrators over the Hall of Justice, which they apparently feel belongs to THEM...and not to the U.N. Oh, and a group of scientists disappear under peculiar circumstances in Peru.

Anyhoo...Booster Gold shows up in his new uniform, all happy and sassy and ready to join the JLA. He's slightly shocked to discover that it is actually a NEW League, but he's quite happy to realize that he's the one that they want to run it.

Too bad that Guy Gardner doesn't feel the same way.



Oh Guy. It just wouldn't be the JLI without you having a hissy fit at the beginning. I'm starting to feel quite at home. Booster does point out that contrary to Guy's statement, he has NEVER lent his name to the sale of adult diapers. Lady Godiva, who is new to me, is nevertheless convinced that he has the physique for it. Lady Godiva is obviously ogling Booster's behind, and really, who can blame her? Tora tells Booster to go after Guy and stroke his ego a little bit, but Booster declines.

Guy stomps up onto the roof, where he runs into Batman. They actually have a reasonably civil conversation...civil for these two anyway. Guy is a bit miffed that he's been passed over, and to be quite honest, he has a valid point. Batman says that Booster is actually smarter than he looks, or words to that effect, but Guy is still cranky, and flies off in a snit. I'm not worried...I'm sure that he'll be back.

Meanwhile the rest of the group, which now consists of Booster, Fire, Ice, Vixen, the new Lady Godiva, the new Rocket Red and the August General in Iron all crowd into the hangar of their headquarters to admire their new jet...courtesy of Queen Industries. Rocket Red and the General compare their opinions on aviation, and off they all go, to look into the little matter of those missing people in Peru. Booster wishes that they actually had a bit more raw power, and their new U.N. liason points out rather snarkily that he shouldn't have let Guy leave then. The jet takes off, and who should be at the controls...but Batman! Batman isn't necessarily a part of the team, since he's already on the JLA, and the U.N. doesn't trust him anyway...and yet...here he is. And it probably is a good thing.

So, they get to Peru, and weird stuff starts happening. Also, a couple of those demonstrators try to blow up their headquarters, which seems like a rather dickish thing to do.

I have a few questions. I understand that this is apparently the FIRST incarnation of the Justice League International. Batman and Booster obviously know each other, and Batman has kept his relatively high opinion of Booster. But Guy says that he's only worked with Booster a couple of times, and considers him to be a glory hound and a flake. How does Guy know Fire and Ice though? Ice obviously knows Guy, since she has such good advice for Booster. There is no mention of Ted Kord at all. Did JLI: Generation Lost still happen? If that is so, then it makes sense that Fire, Ice and Rocket Red have a good opinion of Booster's abilities. Did Guy and Ice date before? Are they still together, or did they break up? Are Gavril, the new Rocket Red and Fire together, as was hinted in Generation Lost? Vixen didn't do much, and I'm not too sold on Lady Godiva.

Booster's new uniform is...ok. I don't even mind the upper part, but damn, I miss his shiny gold pants. Too much blue. Bats is tolerable. He's not even as obnoxious as he usually is, which is a refreshing change. I was glad to note that the U.N. and the rest of them do realize that having a Green Lantern around is a Very Good Thing in the raw power department. I can understand why Guy is miffed. He IS number One, in the Honor Guard of the Green Lantern Corp, which is a thunderingly great honor. Too bad that nobody on Earth realizes this. This isn't the old brain-dead version of Guy, he's used to ordering around Green Lanterns and doing a pretty bang-up job. But these AREN'T Green Lanterns, so he has to learn a whole new way of dealing with this motley crew.

Dan Jurgens does a good job, I thought. At least everybody actually is THERE in the first issue, and the art by Aaron Lopresti is quite nice. I'm pretty sure that Guy is going to come to the rescue in issue # 2, and I'm looking forward to seeing the interaction between these characters, and how much has managed to stay from the old continuity, and what is going to be new.

So...a huzzah. A cautious huzzah, but a huzzah nonetheless.

(I'm REALLY wondering if they kept that goddamned awful Winick retcon of Ice's origin, or if Jurgens is going back to the REAL one.)

Thursday's reviews

Gosh! I...I'm all a'twitter. This was the first REAL week of the new rollout and I have to say that I was filled with a certain amount of trepidation. However, MOST of my fear has evaporated. Although I am filled with a lot of questions about...stuff.

Action Comics #1

I wasn't too sure if I wanted to get this. I like Superman, but he's not my favorite. Still, Grant Morrison was phenomenal on the Superman mini-series, so I figured I'd give it a whirl. And I'm glad that I did.

This is a different Superman. I am assuming that this also takes place in the past, as Superman seems very young, very callow, and very very new to the superhero business. He is living in Metropolis, fresh off of the farm, apparently, and has a job at a different newspaper than Lois and Jimmy. He has a nice landlady, who nevertheless wants to be paid. He's running about helping the poor and the helpless and looking damn fine doing it.

General Lane is there and so is Lex Luthor. They're...they're fabulous. Jimmy and Lois are there too, and they are equally fabulous.

Damn it, I liked this. I liked it a lot.

Batgirl #1

Yes, that is Babs, and she's back in black. But she still did get shot in the spine in a nasty home invasion, and when she's helping some people who are being invaded themselves, she can't help but remember. She does manage to take out the extremely vile bunch of over-priviledged teens who just love to terrorize innocent lives, but when she goes to the hospital where one of them is recuperating, she freezes at an inappropriate moment. Oh, did I mention that there is some sort of fellow going around killing people who didn't die when they should have...or something? Gail Simone does it again, and again, I wasn't too sure about this...but I liked it too.

Green Arrow #1

I'm not quite sure what to think about this one. It has very nice artwork, courtesy of Dan Jurgens. Ollie is young, hip and a millionare, with his own company. That company has a separate division with some handy types who help him in his war against crime. In fact, he seems very very much like Bruce Wayne, except that he's blonde. He fights some low-lifes whose idea of a good time is to film their exploits on You-Tube. And his CEO is pissed off most of the time.

This wasn't bad. I don't know if I actually buy Ollie as a young hip blonde Bruce, but I guess it works. It's just not quite the same without him calling Hal a nazi or something though.

Justice League International #1

Oh my. There will be more about this one tomorrow.

Stormwatch #1

I am getting this book solely because it has Martian Manhunter in it. I never read the Authority, and I only vaguely know who most of these people are. And while I adore J'onn, I'm not too sure that I'll keep up with this one. Perfectly servicable, and not a bad story I suppose...but I just don't really have much of an interest in these people...except for J'onn.

Still... it sure was an interesting week!

Oh...Wednesday

Well, September is upon us, in all of its glory. Actually, it's glory is a couple of weeks down the road, but still, Autumn is waiting in the wings. I have actually had to wear REAL SHOES to work, instead of sandals. Oh, the pain, the pain.

And the new relaunch of the DC books is finally here. For real. Not counting having the JLA book last week. Everything is starting over and we'll finally have to hold our breath and plunge right into it all. Whether we will also have to hold our noses, is yet to be seen.

Tuesday Thwackings

I think that I'm going to start a new tradition. Tuesdays are always such a bleak day for me. It's the day before the books come out, and the entire rest of the week stretches out before me, and it is Just So Darned Hard to come up with anything to write about!

Whine, whine, whine.

So...I'm just going to start putting up pictures of Hal getting hit in the head or something. Or ANYbody getting hit in the head. Because there really is nothing quite like Comic Book Violence. And at least when it is Hal, we know that nobody is actually getting hurt. He must have a skull like Homer Simpson's by now.

Therefore...



Tee hee!

Marriage and the New DCU

Around the DC offices as of late, it appears that Marriage is actually a Four-Letter-Word. They are dumping spouses all over the place in the relaunch. Apparently, they learned from the fiasco...I mean HUGE SUCCESS at Marvel, that people don't realy WANT to see a happily married super hero or heroine. And they may be right...except for all of the people that DID.

But I'm not bitter.

Anyhoo. They are splitting up Clark and Lois, but we've all known that for a while. And they are also splitting up Barry Allen and Iris West. I actually can't summon up a whole lot of outrage for that one. I like Barry, and I've always liked Barry, but Jay Garrett is my favorite Flash. And they had better NOT split him and Joan up! Or...or...I'll be quite irate, is what I'll be! But I've been reading the Absorbascon as usual, and Scipio makes quite the argument about the lovely Iris. Namely that she's a vicious harpy, and Barry is probably better off.

But anyway...are ALL the marriages out the door? You really can't split up Big Barda and Scott Free...now can you? Or the Dibnys. Of course they've killed the Dibnys off, so the problem may not come up, but still...Ralph needs Sue and vice versa. As I mentioned before, Jay and Joan had better still be wed, not to mention Liberty Belle and Hourman.

Hey, are Thomas and Martha Wayne still married? Who knows, in the new reboot, maybe Bruce is just some orphan they found in a field somewhere. They've already killed off the Kents, just so that Superman doesn't have anyone. Cuz' he's a Loner. A brooding, angsty loner.

If they have disbanded all the marriages, I can't help but wonder. Does this mean that people who weren't ever married BEFORE...could be married NOW? Because really, turn-about is fair play, and all of that. Hal and Carol could be wed! Or Guy and Ice! Or...or Ollie and Dinah! Wait, we tried that one already, and it didn't take. Still...what the heck. Howabout Diana and Steve Trevor? They don't seem to be able to get a handle on her books, make her a housewife in Schenectady, and see how it flies. I heard that her new book was going to be a horror book, which should be right up her alley...this could make it TRULY horrifying!

Yes, it is Monday, and I'm grasping at straws here. But keep in mind that I am one of those weird WOMEN who read comic books, and obviously, I want to turn them into Romance Comics and get rid of all the boobs and violence. Or so I am told.

Any ideas?

The All-New and All-Brash Hal Jordan

Well, we all had our first glimpse of Hal Jordan, in the new issue of Justice League, where he goes up against Batman and gets owned rather easily, through overconfidence. Of course, it IS Batman, and he does this sort of thing for a living, but the whole point of the new relaunch, is that this book takes place five years in the PAST, and people don't know that much about Batman, other than the fact that he's something of an urban legend.

So...I don't really see, now that I have had a chance to sit down and think it over...that Hal was necessarily being stupid, because he's never dealt with this person before...in fact, he's quite amazed to discover that he is FOR REAL! Also that he doesn't have any powers. And Hal DOES have powers. Lots and lots and lots of powers. He's young and brash and a bit full of himself. And frankly, why shouldn't he be? He's Hal Fucking Jordan! Hal has ALWAYS had a high opinion of himself. He's handsome, charming, a test-pilot, and he's got the world at his fingertips.

And then this cranky guy in a cape with pointy ears, goes and swipes his ring, and makes him look like an idiot.

Oops.

But you know what? Hal didn't let it bother him too much. He gets the ring back, and immediately, they go off to find Superman for some reason. And he's STILL confident and arrogant and happy. Of course, he immediately gets punched into a building by Superman, but if I know Hal, he won't let that bother him either.

Batman should lighten up a bit.

But I am wondering. If this is in the past, is Hal's older brother Jack still alive? What about good old Uncle Titus? What about Tom and Carol? Is he going to be chasing jailbait like Arisia this time around? Will he continue to get hit in the head? Show off his fabulous fabulous buttocks? Be friends with Barry and Ollie, and watch them fight over who gets to be his bestest bestest buddy? Does the old Yellow problem still exist with the rings? Inquiring minds Want To Know!

As long as he's still flaunting his behind, then I'll be reasonably happy.

This Week's Reviews!

Man, that was fast! Not a lot of books this week, obviously. Still...it was interesting to say the least.

Flashpoint #5

And so we come to the end of Flashpoint. Evil Flash, aka Thawne finally shows up, and mocks poor Barry, saying that the whole mess was His Fault! Yes, when Barry went back in time to save his mother, it destroyed the entire time line or something. I...find this a bit hard to swallow. It also somehow freed Thawne from needing Barry and the Speed Force, so he was outside of time, and didn't need Barry anymore, so he was free...FREE to kill him! Bwahaha! Luckily, old fart Batman was there, and stabbed him through the back with a big honking sword. I'll bet he didn't see THAT coming! So Barry runs and runs and runs, and talks to his mom, and puts it all back...somehow, but it still isn't quite right...still close enough apparently.

I'm actually put in mind of that Simpsons episode where Homer makes the time travelling toaster, and keeps messing up the time line, and finally gets back, and everything seems normal except they eat with their lizard tongues, and he figures...eh, close enough.

This is why you should leave time travel to the experts! Like Booster and Rip!

But Barry does show up at the Batcave, which seems refreshingly normal and gives Bruce a letter from his Dad, which was actually a rather sweet moment. Barry also seems to be able to remember everything about the alternate time-line, which seems as though they are leaving themselves an "out". Just in case.

This was not my favorite storyline. It wasn't TERRIBLE...but it really wasn't that good either. I just don't really see the point of all of this, but there's nothing I can do about it now, except cross my fingers and hope for the best.


Justice League #1

Here it is! The new NEW Justice League, with a brand new shiny number ONE! So unprecedented! Geoff Johns! Jim Lee!

This takes place apparently five years ago, when Superheroes weren't littering the countryside, the way that they do now. Batman was considered to be an urban myth, and Superman is considered a dangerous alien. In fact, Batman is in pursuit of...something as he and it are being chased by the Gotham City Police. Then Hal shows up, in all of his glowing green glory. Hal is amazed that Batman is real. He's even more amazed that Batman doesn't actually have any powers other than the power of extreme rudeness. Still, they end up joining forces, and go off to Metropolis to look for Superman for some reason.

Hal is young, cocky, arrogant and extremely full of himself. In other words...he's Hal. Batman is back to being surly. Everyone wears collars. Their costumes are unnecessarily complicated. Aquaman, Wonder Woman and the Flash do not show up. Cypborg does, but he isn't Cyborg yet.

It's...ok. Nothing mind-boggling. At least they didn't stand around and look at pictures for four issues. On the other hand, they didn't fight a giant starfish either. Oh, and the villain appears to be from Apokolips. Shocking.

Retroactive: Justice League of America

I believe this actually came out last week, but I just found it yesturday, and it has the Detroit League, and oh, what the heck, it was fun, with Citizen Steel and Aquaman yelling at each other, and Vixen with that gawdawful hairdo, and Zatanna with that thing on her head. Gypsy of all people saves the day, against Felix Faust, and Vibe doesn't do a whole lot. Still...fun in a silly sort of way.

Journey Into Mystery #626.l

I do love this book, but really WHAT is going on with this weird numbering system from Marvel?

Loki summons a Teller, using a half-forgotten spell, and wants basically to know what the rest of the Asgardians think about him. Naturally, with his former life before them as an example, they all think he's a creep, and say so. Poor little Loki. The teller offers to tell him what Thor really thinks of him, but Loki hesitates and declines, and dismisses the Teller. Of course, it isn't that simple, there is always a price for these sorts of things, and the price is Loki's future. Fortunately, Loki's raven went and woke up Thor,who came a'runnin' and saved his baby brother.

Awwww...They're adorable. I've always rather liked Loki, and I like this version even better.

So...an interesting week to be sure.