It's Dress Up Like A Gorilla Day

At least that's the rumor. I do not personally have a gorilla suit,and am therefore saddened that I cannot take part in this most holy of rites. I do have black pants and my Mother's dog does shed a lot, so perhaps I can fake it.

In honor of this sacred day, I say to you all...go out and read any comic with gorillas and monkeys. 'Cause that's ALWAYS fun.

Alan is Too Cool

This just cracks me up. The only man in the DCU who can keep Hal Jordan from making a flaming ass of himself.



Get him Alan!

And once again...Hal's Head

This post is in honor of Hal Jordan Appreciation week, over at Mallet's blog.



Because you just can't have too much of Hal getting hit in the head.

Hal and the Rest

So yesturday, I was sharing with you the bizarre and yet compelling goodness of the Mosaic series by Gerard Jones, with John Stewart as the main protagonist. And yet John...like ALL the other Earth-based Lanterns just can't get away from the incredible ego of Hal Jordan.

I really enjoyed Mosaic #5. Hal has showed up on the Mosaic world and offered to intercede with the Guardians and get the inhabitants back to their respective planets. He is absolutely STUNNED when Rose Harding tells him "no thank you". She wants to stay and help John work things out. Hal immediately leaps to the conclusion that she MUST be under John's MIND CONTROL! Being a woman, obviously Rose has no mind of her own. Plus he had the hots for her once, although nothing much came of it, and her picking John over his own studliness is just...wrong!

And therein follows some truely interesting dialogue and John's own internal musings:

Hal says: I love John...

John thinks Our protestations of love are almost a ritual between us. But they smother a hissing tension, and I hear it now as he tells of my tragedies and lunacies.

John says I'm the problem, aren't I Hal? You just can't stand to lose her to ME.

John thinks I've been his project. The wounded one to nurture. The confused one to reconstruct in his own image. He feels good when he can help me in spite of myself. I am his Child-Man.

Hal lets lose with his ring, saying, "I'm sorry, John."

John stops him with his own ring. "No, I'm sorry Hal. My mind isn't yours to probe anymore.

Hal says "Stop fighting it John. I have to do this. Damn it...John...stop fighting it!"

John thinks You have to be careful who you invite over for coffee. When we met up at the Book of Oa this morning we agreed we needed to "clear the air". Over coffee. But then, maybe this is what we really meant, after all.

They then proceed to kick the crap out of each other for quite a while. Hal is doing pretty good, and has John on the ropes, but John comes back with different aspects of his personality, and Hal just has no answer for all the different Johns...because Hal doesn't have the conflicts that John does, and therefore none of the versatility either.

John tells Hal, that Hal fights to prove that he's right, that he scores his total victories and strides out as he entered. But John never scores a total victory...because every victory opens another challenge.

John says "Why do you want Rose, Hal?"

Hal replies "I...I just want her to be free to make up her own mind...because you haven't been acting sane, John!"

John says "Don't judge MY madness by YOUR sanity, Brother. You know jets. You know control. you know the straight path that stretches ahead of you through open air. You sail so smoothly through the world that you don't need to understand it. But I know structures. I know corners. I know what supports the world that you stride over so easily..."

Guess who wins?

To me, this was a brilliant piece of writing. Mr. Jones really picked up on the way that Hal regards John, and by extension Guy and even Kyle. They ARE a reflection of him...his creations and constructs and he gets so cranky when they don't perform the way that he expects them to. John's thoughts about being Hal's project and Child-Man apply so perfectly to Hal's attitude towards Guy. Even with all that Kyle's done, Hal stills sees him as something of a rookie, a project.

Of course this story took place pre-Parallax, and so a lot of things have changed. But I STILL get that vibe from Hal towards his fellow comrades, that HE is the one responsible for them. I think that is why he is always so surprised by their actions, he hasn't quite figured out yet, that they've grown beyond his control...if he ever really had itin the first place.

And that's one of the reasons why I love Green Lanterns.

Yes...John Stewart is Awesome

So...I finally understand what all of the hullabaloo about Mosaic is about. I managed to pick up the entire run the other day, and have been greedily devouring the issues. And I can say without fear of contradiction, that yes, indeedy, John Stewart is AWESOME!

Now, I've always liked John...just not as much as I like Guy, Kyle and Hal. Heck the more I see Alan, the more that I like him too. And Kilowog is simply fabulous. But John seemed to me, to be the quiet one, the sensible one. Not flashy, but managing to get the job done. Smart certainly, but a little dull perhaps, at least in comparison to his fellow Lanterns.

But in Mosaic, John Stewart rocks. There are wonderful facets to his personality that have been mostly left unused since Mosaic ended, and that is a shame. I loved it in #5, when he and Hal are at odds, when John is able to summon up different aspects of himself...and all Hal cans summon are exact replicas in return. Hal is in the Gray-temple stage here, which according to Geoff Johns, means that he's being influenced by Parallax, but nevertheless, he is an ENORMOUS jackass, and by God, John shows him whatfor. See! It wasn't just Guy!

Mosaic is a fabulous concept. All the bits and pieces of various worlds brought to Oa, presumably by the former Guardian gone Mad, Appa Ala Apsa, aka the Old Timer. He went a little bonkers from lonliness after being stripped of his immortality by the other Guardians and reassembled all these different cultures and peoples from all over the galaxy. After his defeat, John is given the unenviable job of trying to keep them all from killing each other...since the Guardians feel that keeping them altogether is after all, not a bad experiment.

Naturally, the poor people in the adjoining cities and habitats are less than thrilled, but John really does a superb job of getting them to cooperate...at least some of the time. He even gives out rings to a group of kids who help out. There are some good aliens and some really cranky aliens, just like the human members of the group. Through it all John keeps his sense of humor and manages to come up with some truely ingenius solutions.

He also falls for Rose, who is sort of...kind of...one of Hal's old girlfriends, but they never really did anything together. Hal gets all dog in the mangerish over John's keeping her company, but that's just Hal. He also assumes that since she turns him down to stay with John, that she MUST BE MIND CONTROLLED!!
Oh Hal, your vanity is overwhelming!

The series went to 18 issues, and it turns out that the whole Mosaic idea was actually John's doing from the start, and that he's actually become a Guardian himself! I don't really know how they resolved this, since he obviously isn't a Guardian now, but still...it was an interesting concept.

So, if you see it, pick it up. It's pretty amazing. As is John. And yes, it was written by Gerard Jones, who was also doing the early Green Lantern issues, in Volume III.

Green Lantern #16: Hal & Alan take out the trash

Firstly, that's a pretty nice cover by Ethan Van Sciver, with Hal and Alan Scott, both looking fairly ticked off. I've never been able to really figure out how it is that Alan's costume works, frankly the color combinations should be horrible...and yet somehow he manages to pull it off.

Beginning things off with a brief recap, Cowgirl's still on the run, Hal's looking for her, the terrorists have been massacred by the Global Guardians who have
blamed Hal, the Rocket Reds are after him for various violations, and all the bounty hunters are after his blood.

Good thing that he has friends. Yes, it IS the Justic League, all together and working well as a team...which is certainly something that their OWN book hasn't shown yet. Nice little personal touches too, with Superman being serious, and Wonder Woman being impish, and Bats efficient as usual. Everyone manages to contribute something which is always a bonus, and after the mop-up, Hal is set to take off after Cowgirl when...

Whoa! Alan stops him in his tracks. Beautiful page too, with a splendid butt
shot of Hal. I just love it when Alan gets crabby, he's such a wonderful character.
He's probably the ONLY person that CAN stop Hal and get away with it...without a lot
of gratuitous violence anyway. And of course, Alan is absolutely right, Hal does owe his friends an explanation, they have risked quite a lot in coming to his aide.

Meanwhile, Amon Sur, who seems to have serious "Daddy" issues has taken over the
airbase and is causing quite a stir. He's after Abin Sur's ship, which certainly makes sense.

Back to the snowy forests, and Cowgirl is still running for her life, and falls
through the ice after being shot by one of the remaining terrorists. Unfortunately for him, Hal shows up and makes him...regret it. Hal rescues the girl, which is one of those things that he's REALLY good at. He's even apologizing to her, and not being a complete idiot, she's managed to realize who he really is. For once Hal keeps his head, and doesn't say anything stupid...remarkable really. They are seconds away from the obligatory lip lock, when one seriously dead terrorist lands in Hal's lap, and a whole passel of bounty hunters shows up.

Naturally Hal is a wee bit irritated. There are just SOME things that shouldn't
be interrupted, and snogging the heroine is one of them. Hal mops up the Dominators rather easily but is ambushed AGAIN by none other than Hunger Dog, who is looking properly intimidating, and takes Hal out with a nicely delivered kick to the chops. Hunger Dog then has a little chat with his employer about the proper disposal of Cowgirl...and it doesn't look too good.

Cut from the cold blue tones of the snow and forest to the warm and orange/yellow colors of the desert. Hal is out cold, but wakes up, wearing his old
flight suit, and the ring on his finger. Standing over him is Amon Sur...who is seriously cheesed off. He's got his father's ship, and now he wants his ring and
body.

Events definitely moved along in this issue, and I'm assuming that stuff seriously hits the fan in #17. The characterizations of the Justice League were fun, the art was beautiful, the coloring was sublime as usual, and it had Alan. What's not to like?

Man, I've had a crappy week.

If one more thing blows up or explodes,I'm going to burst into tears. Is it a full moon or something? It seems as though every stupid thing that could happen, has happened lately.

My college-aged daughter finally bought a new car, which was wonderful because we were getting pretty tired of having to go and rescue her off of the Massachusetts Turnpike after breaking down. After about $2,500 worth of repair to the Saab from Hell, we passed it on to her high school-aged brother. Well that worked for a week, before it broke down too, fortunately only a mile from home. Rented a trailer and picked it up and took it to the repair shop...except that someone busted out the passenger side window and broke open the glove box. Nothing of any value of course, but I am still OUTRAGED! And, now we need a new fuel pump. *sigh*

And the washer is making ominous thumping noises. My husband disassembled one of the bathroom faucets, and cleaned the aerater and such, and when he reassembled it, it squirted him in the eye.

The REAL trauma however, is that the high school son, now needs wheels to get to work, and has had to borrow my car. My NEW car that I've had for less than three weeks. My bright silver car with the leather interior and lovely three-pointed star on the hood. Oh the pain...the pain.

I'm really glad that it is Wednesday and I can go and read the new Green Lantern. Provided something else doesn't blow up in the meantime.

...And I'm Not Too Thrilled With Bruce Wayne, Either

Yesturday, I passed on some of the reasons that I find Batman to less than attractive. I realize that Bruce Wayne is supposed to be a gallant playboy/man-about-town sort of fellow, but I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't want to date him either.

Firstly, you'd have to be sure to bring along a credit card and some cash for a taxi when going on a date, because the chances of you being abandoned and stiffed for dinner are pretty high. And I don't think that he's ever actually been around to return a girl to her own doorstep...hence the taxi money.

I don't think that it would be too much fun going back to stately Wayne Manor either. It wouldn't be much fun having sex with a guy who keeps moaning to himself that his parents are DEAD!!! Besides, I don't think that his libido is all that impressive to start with. I don't think that he's gay, I just think that he has a lot on his mind.

Also, the chances of being kidnapped, tortured and/or killed would probably go up exponentially, and frankly I like living. Heck, I'd rather kiss Kyle Rayner, I'll probably be hideously maimed or killed, but at least it would have been worth it.

Why I don't like Batman

Wha...? How can anybody not like Batman you may say. Well duh! I mean the man obviously has some serious issues, but I don't particularly like the way that he treats his family and friends, not to mention the abuse to animals, and the casual whuppin' of various criminals.

First and foremost, his treatment of Alfred. I like Alfred, he's my favorite "Bat" character. However, if he was the one who raised Bruce after the death of his parents, there is no denying that the man is getting along in years, and yet Batman STILL makes him clean a damp and guano-filled cave. It can't be too good for his respiratory system or his arthritis.

And another thing...Alred is the only one you ever see around the mansion. Does he do ALL the cleaning and maintenance on a 30-room mansion (not to mention cave) by himself? Not to mention the cooking, dishes, laundry, etc. etc. etc. That seems like a heck of a lot of work for one elderly man. I hope that Bruce at least gets some kind of daily or weekly cleaning people to come in and tidy up.

His parents are dead. Yes, I get it. However, Dick Grayson's parents are also dead, and he seems relatively well-balanced. I mean most people don't dress up like a rodent to avenge their family members. Well, maybe except for Squirrel Girl, but she's a pretty cheerful and happy character. Until Marvel decides to make her dark and angsty like Dark Speedball I suppose.

However, I was watching "Justice League" on Boomerang last evening, and Superman was upset by Darkseid, and Batman came over and TOLD HIM TO JUST GET OVER IT! Well, if it isn't Mr. Pot Calling The Kettle Black!

I'm not particularly enthralled by his nasty habit of coming up with ways to disable/kill his comrades, ie: the Justice League. He's come up with plans to incompacitate them in "Tower of Babel" AND that whole unpleasantness with Brother Eye and the Omacs. There may be other examples as well that I don't know about, becasue I'm only really obsessive about the Green Lanterns. Geez, I know that your
old Justice League buddies erased 10 minutes from your memory, but you've GOT to get over yourself!

And finally, I don't imagine that PETA or the A.S.P.C.A is particularly fond of our Mr. Wayne either. Just go see Chris Sim's at ISB, and see all the wonderful panels of Batman kicking dogs in the face, or wrestling tigers and such. I know you
have pent-up hostility Bruce, but there are more socially acceptable ways of dealing with anger problems, than brutalizing pets!

Maybe they could come up with a story line with Bruce going to a therapist, a'la Tony Soprano. Get the poor guy some help before it's too late!

Green Lantern Corps #8: A Review

The Dark Side of the Green, part II

Well! Things certainly start off with a bang! The anonymous Dominator scientist is exposed to the artifact, and makes the snotty Dominator triumvirate eat their words...and then some. And Von Daggle, disguised as a Dominator meets his charming Khund disciple.

Meanwhile, Guy and R'amey are waiting for Daggle above the home planet of the Dominators. Guy is getting a little testy, when R'amey plants a big wet one on him, and he certainly doesn't fight her off. Heh heh!

Von Daggle arrives, and they get a lesson in strategy, he and R'amey are going after the artifact, and Guy needs to shut up the Khund...permanently.

Meanwhile the Dominator scientist has decided that the rest of his species aren't gifted enough to be exposed to his fabulous secret, and he plans to rule over them as a god. Megalomania seems to be catching here.

Daggle and R'amy have a tete a tete about Guy and his trustworthyness. I was quite pleased to see that R'amey has such a high opinion of Guy, and I love the utter coldbloodedness of Von Daggle.

Then we see a faint glow in the darkness, and emerging from it, is Guy Gardner, creeping up on the nasty little Khund. He's so used to having the ring, that even though he doesn't need to, he's holding his right wrist with his left hand, to steady the shot. He's having a bit of a problem however with just shooting the guy in the back. I can certainly understand that Guy may have had to kill in battle or in self-defense, but he's NOT the sort of person to just assasinate someone in cold blood. The Khund realizes that he's there, and is just toying with him, which may
turn out to be a mistake, since it makes Guy mad. They have a very nice and brutal fight going, and Guy is just about to administer the coup de grace, when the nasty
evolved Dominator shows up and he's in biiiiig trouble.

We then change scenes to Von Daggle and R'amey again, flying through the storm to find the artifact. Daggle opens up to her a bit about the history of the Corpse, and it turns out that he has...issues with none other than Hal Jordan. I love that repurcussions from the whole Parallax...unpleasantness are still showing up.

Meanwhile, poor Guy is getting his ass handed to him quite graphically. Shutting down his brain function except for his pain receptors seems especially nasty, but hey,that's how Dominators roll. The mega-Dominator and his "apostle" the Khund catch up with Von Daggle and R'amey at this point,and Daggle and the Khund go head to head, while R'amey is caught by the Dominator...and literally eviscerated. He rips out her power disk, and swallows it, thus giving himself the power it contains. Boy howdy, is HE going to be surprised when it all wears off in a couple of days! He lets R'amey fall, and the Khund comes flying up to join him and the two of them decide it is time to go to Earth and deliver a severe case of whup-ass. We are left with hauntingly horrible panels showing R'amey lying in her own entrails, and Guy all bloody and staring.

Whew! The art and the story just sieze you by the throat and don't let go! I kept jumping out of my chair and going Noooooooo...not R'amey! Not Guy! Again, the art is superlative...I LOVE the black outfits that they are wearing, they really look insanely dramatic. When they go into stealth mode, tendrils of black start to cover their faces, which is really neat. And there is a tiny panel after the Dominator has just defeated Guy, in which all you see are his eyes,wide-open and staring wtih tears running down in the blackness.

I can't help being sad that R'amey bought the big one, she was such a wonderful new character, and I really liked her. She goes in such a gruesome way too. I also can't help thinking that the Khund is really Von Daggle in disguise, it makes sense that he'd go along with the Dominator instead of trying to save his cohorts, for him the mission is the important thing.

So...once again, I am on the edge of my seat, breathlessly awaiting the next issue! And isn't that what a great comic does?

And now, for something completely different.

Basically, this post is for Brandon. Therefore, I give you:



None other than Ch'p, the cutest darn little Lantern that ever was. Unfortunately for him, he was hit by a yellow school bus. Ick.

And as another little treat:



A slightly discomfited Nightcrawler, by Adam Hughes. There really isn't a whole lot to tie these two characters together, except that they are both furry and have tails, and are cute beyond belief. Enjoy!

And at the JLI Headquarters...!

A game of Twister goes horribly awry...



This isn't eligible for Chris Sim's contest, but I thought it was fun anyway.

Oh...Hal.

I think that I have come up with a reason for Hal's leaving his ring in his locker, when he decided to go off on a mission and was captured.



He DOES seem to have this certain...predeliction for blows to the head.



I think that Guy still holds the record for number and quality of comas, but when it comes to getting klonked in the noggin, Hal has him beat.



While John has certainly had his moments, accidentally destroying a planet and getting stuck in a wheelchair, his cranium seems to mostly have escaped the abuse that dogs Hal Jordan.



Even Kyle, who has been tied up and probed and otherwise manhandled to a major degree has managed to keep his pretty little head mostly intact.



At this point I figure that Hal's brains are probably so scrambled, that he's lucky he even REMEMBERS that he has a ring!



Hal Jordan...walking punching bag.