Justice League/Nascar

So, I was watching the race in Atlanta yesturday, and it was a dandy. Tony Stewart won! Woohoo! I love the fact that although he missed the chase this year (16 bloody points!), he's still sticking it to the others. Heh heh. So, being a Nascar fan as WELL as a comic book fan, my brain began lazily trying to match up Justice League members with Nascar drivers. Why? Why the heck not?

Tony Stewart...Guy Gardner. C'mon, this one is easy, the former "bad boy" of racing and our own crazy lantern. It's perfect.

Kasey Kahne...Kyle Rayner. Well, Kasey is awfully young, and awfully cute, and occasionally a bit dim.

Matt Kenseth...Batman. I was having a bit of trouble with this one, but Kenseth is pretty quiet, driven and methodical, and very cooly efficient. Makes sense to me.

Mark Martin...Superman. Aw, c'mon, Mark Martin is just too cool. He HAS to be Superman.

Kevin Harvick...Green Arrow. A little brash, a little cocky, and his wife is blonde, pretty and would probably look great in fishnets.

Jeff Gordon...Superboy-Prime. I was originally thinking Robin, since they used to call Gordon "Wonder Boy". Get it? Haw! But he's much to whiny and prissy for Robin, so I thought of Superboy Prime instead. Always blaming everybody else for his problems, and then running them off the road.

Jeff Burton...Aquaman. Well-liked, but low-key.

Dale Earnheart Jr...Flash (Wally West). Well, he LOOKS like Wally, and he's kind of self-deprecating, and boy is he fast.

This is all that I could come up with on the spur of the moment. Any thoughts?

Bhwahahahaha!

I had some plans for a nice Kyle Rayner piece, but was sidetracked by the discovery of two new blog sites. Well, new to me anyway, and therefore have spent far too much time laughing like a hyena.

Without further ado, you MUST find "Dial B for Blog" and "The Diary of Ralph Dibny", and READ them! My personal favorite from "Dial B for Blog" was the five-part piece about REFECTED LEGIONAIRES, which was so funny, that my head almost exploded.

"The Diary of Ralph Dibny" is a little different, but equally hysterical, but it really does help to have read "Identity Crises" and "52". And while the entries are all mind-bogglingly funny, the letters from various friends of Ralph's are even funnier.

Finally, just in keeping with some Green Lantern goodness, it was Guy Gardner week over at "Dave's Long Box" which was certainly good for a number of chuckles.

1001 Nights of Snowfall

No, this doesn't have anything to do with Green Lanterns, but I'm ok with that. What it IS, is bloody fabulous. If you haven't been picking up Fables, by Bill Willingham, then I strongly suggest that you do so...and soon. This the the new hardcover book, and while a little on the expensive side, it is well worth the price. It is an anthology of origin stories, and has a plethora of wonderful artists, and as usual, the writing is top-notch.

Snow White has travelled to the Arabian fables as the ambassador from Fabletown, and ends up telling stories to the sultan in a lovely twist on the Sheherezade theme. And while these ARE origin stories to some of our favorite fables, Bigby Wolf, Flycatcher, Old King Cole and Snow White herself, you get the feeling that there is still so much more hidden and hinted at.

The John Bolton art in the Snow White story makes me weep, it is so gorgeous. The story itself is fantastic and a bit chilling. The one with Reynaud the fox is a bit of a hoot, and Flycatchers makes me weep again, but because it is so sad. Bigby Wolf's is just great, and there is so much there that ISN'T being told, it leaves all kinds of new stories to build from. There is a lovely little story with Thunderfoot with a nice twist, but I must say that one of my favorites is the one with Snow and Rose saving none other than Frau Totenkinder, who has a back story that is poignant and horrifying at the same time. The one with King Cole actually made me like him, which I hadn't really beforehand. And finally there is an ironic and lovely little tale with Mersey, drawn by none other than Brian Bolland.

So, do yourselves a favor, and buy this book. You won't be sorry.

OMYGOD...There's a GIRL in the clubhouse!

Up until now, I had been rather smug when comparing my experiences in Comic book stores, as compared to other women's, whether dealing with hostile owners or customers. Well, my smuggery has taken a nosedive.

I was entering my customary store, where I have been going to for years, the dispenser of my sweet sweet weekly delights. I'm very fond of Matt, the owner, I bake him cookies, and he saves me the best covers. Just yesturday, he was shorted on his order for the new hardcover FABLES: 1001 Nights of Snowfall" book, and he saved it for me. He was waiting on a nicely dressed middle-aged man who was inquiring about Derek Jeter baseball cards, as I entered and got the books he had pulled for me, before going to the display racks, exchanging a few pleasantries along the way as usual.


So I am standing there, and to my surprise the nicely dressed middle-aged man followed me, stared at me, and announced loudly, "My God! A girl is buying comics!"
I smiled and replied yes, that I was buying comics.
"You really read these?" he said, apparently dumbfounded.
My smile was getting a little more forced, but I said that yes, I did read them, and there were actually a lot more women readers than he realized.

He could just not get over it. He looked me up and down, amazed at the freak who had invaded his space. I was wearing loafers, corderoys, a sweater and pearls, but I don't THINK I looked like a freak. He announced to every subsequent customer that there was a GIRL buying comics! Since most of them were regulars and all know me, this didn't have the impact that he expected. My friend Mike told him, "Dude, she's in here every week."

Matt handled him with his customary courtesy of course, but by then I was getting a little fed up, and proceeded to pay for my purchases. The guy was STILL having a heart attack about it as I left the store. I felt like yelling, "Look! A
MAN with a tie in a comic book store!", but my parents raised me right, and I didn't.

I am probably making too much out of this, but really, I'm still a bit on the annoyed side. I've been reading comics for more than thirty years, and I thought that I had established my nerdy bonafides. I didn't mock this man for being a Yankees fan...and I could have, OH I could have. I just wanted to get my books in peace and maybe have a spirited discussion about how much Civil War blows. So now I'm feeling cranky, and no longer smug.

What the...heck?

So...saw the postings for the new comics for January from DC and Marvel. January's issue of Manhunter has none other than Ted Kord on the cover. Meanwhile, January is going to be Nextwave's last issue. DC giveth, and Marvel taketh away.

Guy Gardner Gets a Girlfriend

Actually that title is something of a misnomer...what I really mean is that Guy Gardner NEEDS a girlfriend, but the other way is more alliterative. *ahem* Anywho, it's been quite a while since poor Tora got iced, and although I imagine that Hal would object, I do think that it is past time for Guy to get some lovin'...and I want to revive a completely brilliant plot idea from Beau Smith. Get Guy and Wonder Woman together! You want to rock the DCU? THAT would do it nicely.

C'mon, they've been flirting forever, and I really think that it would work. Plus, Batman would probably swallow his tongue, and that could be fun. Remember way back when Wonder Woman first came into the League? Guy was stomping around and bloviating in his loveable way about how HE should be in charge. Diana walked in, and basically said hello, and can I depend upon your experiance and advice? And she had him in the palm of her hand. Something that Batman, Superman and even J'onn never realized, all Guy wanted was a little respect.

It continues in "Guy Gardner" #15, when he gets back from the Draal, and confronts his evil clone. She knows that it is him, and backs him up. He calls her "boss", which is pretty loveable coming from Guy. He's still hankering after Ice of course, but she's giving him the cold shoulder, encouraged by Bea, and Diana is the only one sticking up for him. He even lets her tie him up in the golden lasso in the next issue so that he can convince General Glory, that he's not the killer clone.

However, it is after Tora's death, that I think they start to get close. In Justice Leage #101, he's still just furious with them, for not telling him about her demise, which is also covered in GG #32. He's hurt and angry and basically beating the crap out of all of them, and Diana is the one who talks him down. She does apologize for not telling him, and he points out that it's one thing to be surrounded by people who love you...like Diana...and another thing to lose the only person who ever liked you.

Then the Kraggz attack, the advance troops of the nasty old Tormocks. Guy and Diana head back to Earth, where more Kraggz are attacking Warriors, and there is a rather delightful moment as they head for the League cruiser, where he says:
"I'll drive."
"No, I'll drive, Guy"
"Right...nice outfit."
"Thanks"
As they zoom off, Diana comments that he has changed, and that this is the first time they've been alone in a vehicle and he hasn't tried the old "outta gas" routine. He replies that he can tell she's disappointed. Gosh, I love witty repartee. They do a nice job of fighting together, but eventually, the Tormocks do arrive, and he gets captured.

Diana, Hawkman and Probert the Bad One...a former Lantern...go after him, which is nicely depicted in Hawkman #23. Karine, the Tormock Empress, wants Guy for his Vuldarian genes, and figures she can use him for stud. He comments that he's not that kind of boy, and fortunately before her wooing can go any further, he's rescued by Diana, Hawkman and Probert. Eventually they all defeat the Tormocks and head home.

I know that Beau Smith wanted to get them together, but then GG:Warrior ended, and I guess his plan was shelved...probably because nobody else at DC could handle it. Nevertheless, I still think that it is a capital idea, and somebody should pick it up and run with it. Isn't Adam Huges supposed to be doing a new Wonder Woman? He always drew Guy so well.

Review: Green Lantern Corps #5

Well...I am mildly bemused, but not enthralled. The whole setup with Bolphunga just seemed to peter out, instead of being the huge smashing fight that I was primed for. And quite frankly, Bolphunga the Unrelenting seemed to be a bit of a doofus. I did enjoy Guy scampering about and humiliating him without his ring, which shows quite a bit of enterprise on the part of our Mr. Gardner, but I didn't like the twist where...wait for it...Salakk comes in as the deus ex machina and saves Guy at the last minute...especially because Guy had gotten his ring back and didn't NEED to be saved. Salakk really seemed to gloat about it too, and he brought a couple of recent recruits who also seemed to find the prospect of having to rescue Guy to be too funny for words. More and more, Salakk seems to be doing everything he can to undermine whatever authority or prestige that Guy has, and I want him to stop. Forgive me, but didn't Guy rescue Salakk from slavery a while back afer Hal/Parallax wiped out the Corps? Harummph.

I did find the idea of Salakk making time with the tiger twins mildy amusing, but I don't think that Guy was too upset since he had just found out that they were androids, and I don't think that he swings that way. Guy didn't even seem particularly upset, just flew off on his new mission.

The supblot with Isamot and Vath seems mildly interesting, but I was crushed to find out that Isamot DIDN'T make out with his mate, since it seemed that any redblooded lizard would go for sex first, world-saving second. Guess that's what makes them
heroes. It was nice to see Soranik with Mogo, but what the heck is she doing back on Korugar? They don't have any other doctors?

So, I guess it was...ok. I was expecting a little more and it didn't really deliver, but I'm hoping for better things next episode. I love Guy and I love the whole Green Lantern Corps concept, but I do miss Kilowog. More Kilowog!

New Comics!

Nothing much today, but it is Wednesday, which for me, is like going to church. A new Green Lantern Corps! Woohoo! However, for lots of Green Lantern Goodness, go over to Pretty Fizzy Paradise and read Kalinara's latest piece on Hal Jordan. Great stuff.

Guy - Pants = Great!

Recently I managed to get my hands on the Flash annual #3 which consisted of two vey amusing stories, the running gag in both of which being that each member of the JLE was given one of those transport tubes which had to be programmed. Unfortunately, the directions were on par with those of your average VCR, so Wally is having a rather hard time. As a matter of fact, in the first story, his Mother manages to get it working. It is however, the second story, entitled "A Chunk at the JLI" that
really rises to the heights of absurdity.

Chunk, aka Chester P. Runk is a former not so criminal, who is trying to help Wally
reprogram his Matter Transferral Tube. Wally is an idiot, so they end up calling in Bart Sturm, another former villian, who gives his cute little intelligence amplifying
helmet to Wally...with disastrous results. Because of his hyperactive metabolism, it
malfunctions, and turns Wally into basically an idiot savant, who flops around drooling for a while. Chunk expresses his desire to join the Justice League, and of
course Wally comes up with a FOOLPROOF method...basically show up at the front door, while wearing a suit.

MEANWHILE...at Justice League headquarters, Guy Gardner finds himself in something of a pickle...in that Booster and Beetle have stolen his pants. Yes, our boy is clad in his turtleneck, vest and cute little polka-dot boxers. He never DOES get to wear pants in the entire story, which I consider to be quite a bonus. Anyway, he needs his pants, because he's going to be interviewed by the reporter Desiree Busch, who has her own agenda. Guy doesn't mind, because he's too busy leering at her cleavage through the video comm.

Anyway, Chunk and Wally show up at the front door, which is answered by Guy...in his underwear. Mistaking them for door-to-door salesmen, he slams the door shut, and goes off to take a shower, now just wearing his boxers and a cute little showercap. However, Chunk turns out to be a teleporter, and he and Wally show up in the shower just as Guy is about to get in, leading to this lovely bit of dialogue from Guy..."Gleeeeeeeeppp!" He jumps back startled, and whacks his head against the sink, a'la Hal Jordan, and is now lying unconcious on the floor.

Chunk and Wally now proceed for quite a number of panels to manhandle poor Guy's half-nekkid body, and also manage to thwack his head against the floor several more times.





Hilarity ensues! Guy is fit to be tied, and tries to blast them both with his ring...unfortunately for him, Wally has taken it and now can't remember what he did with it. Guy starts yelling, Wally starts crying, and Chunk gets pissed when Guy shoves him, and teleports him...sans boxers to slugworld.



Nekkid screaming Guy! This has to be my favorite scan ever! Chunk manages to bring him back and by now Guy realizes that Wally isn't exactly playing with a full deck. Also, Desiree shows up with her film crew, and Guy STILL hasn't had his shower. Fully believing in the power of proper ablutions, Guy tells Wally to stall her, while he jumps back in the shower. This works out about as well as you think it would, and Desiree bullies her way into the bathroom and pulls the shower curtain open on poor Guy, who gives ANOTHER scream, so Chunk, Wally and Guy all teleport out of there. Wally finally finds Guy's ring, (it was hidden under Wally's tongue) and thinks that everything is going to be fine now...except that they are out in space floating around in some pink goo. And Guy is still without pants.

I've been busy!

I realize that I haven't posted in a while, but really, I have been busy. I was lucky enough to find a whole bunch of pictures, which I will post about when I am a little more coherent. I've also been having too much fun over at Kalinara's "Pretty, Fizzy Paradise" reading about whether or not Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon should be together. Somehow it all degenerated into a steamed conversation about whether or not Batman is gay, and exactly why is he keeping those nubile boys in that damp cave. God I love the internet. And...for the record...Batman is NOT gay! Get over it! Hal on the other hand, does have these...interesting moments.