Fever Dreams

Ok, I've GOT to get off of the Nyquil. I've had this nasty head and chest cold for over a week now, and can't really sleep too much, so I've taken to coming up with future blog postings in my head. This is really a bad idea.

The one last night started out making perfect sense. It had Green Lanterns in it, to begin with, which in my opinion is always a good thing. However, once the medication kicked in, things started to get pretty bizarre.

For one thing Y.A. Tittle kept showing up. I know nothing about Tittlle, except that I think he was a football player of some sort. And he brought with him, a Canadian fieldgoal kicker named Jacques Stroppe. I'm sure that it all made perfect sense at the time, but you good people really don't need to fear about my inchoate ramblings, so I guess I'll just stop here.

On the other hand, it is Wednesday! That's always nice, and the new Green Lantern comes out today. I've posted about Ion twice in the meantime, but who's keeping count? I really hope that John finally shows up.

*wanders off in search of Sudafed.*

The Brave & the Bold #1

I wasn't quite sure about this one at first. It had Batman on the cover, and I think that I've made it pretty plain that I find Batman to be a major pain. On the other hand, it had Hal Jordan, whom I adore, despite the fact that he's an arrogant, self-centered,womanizer. So I picked it up and read it.

Wow! This was fun!

For one thing, John Stewart is in it, albeit briefly. I rather miss John, and so I'm glad to see him whenever he pops up.

Secondly, Batman isn't being a jerk. Hal's discovered a dead body floating in space, while Batman has discovered an identical body in the batcave...as well as numerous other identical bodies all over the place. Hal and Bats are actually working together to try and solve the mystery, without whining at each other. There is actually a pretty cool battle in the batcave, wherein Hal uses the giant dinosaur AND the giant penny,while Batman uses the batmobile as a weapon.

They decide to follow the power signature, so Hal summons his battery and charges up, leading to a rather amusing exchange.

BATMAN......."You have your power battery WITH you?"

HAL......"I've trained it to come when I call...you know, like you did Robin."

Heh.

So off the two of them go, and end up in Las Vegas. Since hiding in the shadows doesn't really work very well there, Bats changes into Bruce Wayne, Armani suit and all, and decides to visit the Kismet Casino, where he is of course, welcomed with open arms. They are a little more leery of welcoming Hal, since his idea of dressing up consists of the bomber jacket, but once Bruce vouches for him, they let him in.

Naturally, the two of them end up at the gambling tables. The Kismet just hands Bruce a huge pile of chips, with an unlimited credit line. Bruce then flips a couple of chips over the Hal. The look on Hal's face is just priceless as he looks at his few lonely chips, while Bruce sits next to him with adoring women draped all over him.

Then they start to play.

A few panels later, most of the chips are in front of Hal, along with the women, while Bruce is just stunned.



BRUCE...."Tha's the most reckless card playing I've ever seen."

HAL........"You should try it sometime."

BRUCE......"I wish Barry had lived to se you with money."

HAW!!

Anyway, the whole point of this was to get to see the Casino's owner, but he/she is locked up in the penthouse and not seeing anyone. Naturally, the dynamic duo doens't let this get in their way,and they go upstairs. I love that Hal offers to create a lockpick, but Bruce just uses a keycard. Then BOOM! It turns out that Roulette is the owner of the Casino, and apparently in a bit of a pickle.

She has a flamethrower going and is trying to burn a book, which of course, isn't working out at all. Bats is trying to calm her down,while Hal contains the fire, but Roulette is in an absolute panic, which is pretty amazing in and of itself. She had promised the murdered man that she'd destroy it, but that hasn't worked out, and now the aliens that attacked them in the batcave have followed Hal and Bruce right to her...and the book.

Another nifty fight scene, with Bats and Hal working together quite nicely. One of the bad guys gets the book however, and takes off, so Bats has Hal go after him. So Roulette then informs him that it is the Book of Destiny, with ultimate knowledge and ultimate power.

THE Book of Destiny? As in Destiny of the Endless? Now THAT'S interesting!

The story is fun, the dialogue is great, and the art is excellent. What more could anybody want from their comic book?

It's Oscar Night!

Yes, the Academy Awards are upon us again. I can't say that I really care too much, although I am probably rooting for Helen Mirren, and Peter O'Toole. And I'll probably be watching Nascar instead of the red carpet stuff.

Nevertheless, in the spirit of the moment, I give you:



Yes, boys and girls, that is Hal Jordan, getting hit in the head by what appears to be an Oscar.

Ion, Guardian of the Universe: #11

And oh, the plot thickens.

When last we left our doughty hero, he was on an asteroid full of dead Qwardians, and a luscious Donna Troy. Donna is starting to explain her presence to Kyle, when they are attacked by the last living Qwardian, who only manages to stammer out a few enigmatic phrases before giving up the ghost.

So Donna finally gets a chance to explain why she is here, but in a lovely visual effect, her dialogue balloons are greyed, and covered over by Kyle's thought boxes, which is both funny and clever. Donna does eventually get him to stop drooling and pay attention, when they are suddently attacked!

Whoa, Grayven just showed up! I did not expect that at all, but it works out quite nicely. He's all amped up with power and feeling his oats, and is apparently the one behind all the shenanigans that have been going on with Kyle.

Oh, and by the way...How's your mother?

Aaaaaaannd cut...to an exterior view of the asteroid floating quietly in space...until Kyle blows it up in a giant green ball of energy that just looks fantastic.

Needless to say, Kyle is a bit pissed, and Grayven's smuggery is just begging to be wiped off of his face. Fortunately for Kyle, Donna is there to lend a hand, since he's sort of lost his focus, and a very nice battle ensues.

Meanwhile...Back on earth, Guy has followed up on his promise to Kyle to check in on his mother. Things aren't looking good, and the earth doctors are completely befuddled. Guy flies back to Oa, and brings in Kilowog and Soranik Natu as experts from out of town. I really thought this was a great touch, and rather touching in the lengths that the Lanterns will go to, to help one of their own.

Unfortunately, even Soranik is baffled by the disease that is afflicting Maura Rayner, and Guy calls on Kyle to get his keister back to earth. Unfortunately for Kyle, it is right in the middle of his donnybrook with Grayven, so things aren't looking good.

Another small plot device, shows a couple of Monitors observing Donna and Kyle. One of them decides enough is enough and heads out to do...what?

The art was excellent, and Mr. Marz has come through with a well-paced and well-written story, neatly setting things up for the final episode. The only thing is...I wish that it wasn't the final episode, because I've been enjoying Ion.

Hal's been in this position before

As you all remember, there was something of a furor over this cover by Ivan Reis when it was first posted. Most of the outrage was directed towards the costume...or perhaps lack of costume...that managed to direct your attention towards Star Sapphire's naughty bits.

However, what caught my attention was Hal's position. Mainly because it was...familiar.



This isn't the first time that Hal's been in this same predicament.



Fortunately Guy is wearing more than Star Sapphire. But he still seems to be enjoying himself.



Here's John getting into the act. And that's not all.



Sinestro enjoys looming over Hal too.

Heck, even Alan does it.



I do regret that I can't find a scan that shows Kyle standing over Hal. However...!



Actually, I'm not even sure that there is a point to all of this, except that Hal does seem to have that passive/aggressive thing going on. And for a change, he's not hitting his head.

Mark Martin was Robbed!

I am torn between delight at the start of another season of racing, and rage at the way that the officials robbed Mark Martin of his much deserved win at the Daytona 500. For some reason they didn't throw the yellow flag, although he was CLEARLY in the lead when Kyle Busch managed to wreck himself and the remainder of the field. AAARRRGGHH!

It's probably the Nyquil talking, but I'm in a really cranky mood. And then poor Tony Stewart got wrecked while in the lead!

I'll go back to blogging about comics tomorrow, when I'm feeling sane again.

GLAARRGHHHHH!!

I had an idea for a post, but currently I am busy hacking up a lung. Laryngitis, coughing, sneezing and my sinuses are completely clogged.

I want my Mommy!

More scintillating posts on another day. When I can actually hold up my head. Glarghh!

Green Lantern Corps #9...Woohoo!

It took an extra day because of the snow and sleet, but I am celebrating Valentine's day with a large glass of Champagne. Keith Champagne, that is, and Pat Gleason is strawberries dipped in the sweet sweet chocolate of Moose Baumann's colors. Ok, that's getting a little on the bizarre side, but I am holding the third and final installment of The Dark Side of the Green, and I am a happy woman.

Firstly, it isn't like reading a comic book at all, more of a mini-movie, with Mr. Gleason's incredibly dramatic and cinematic artwork. When last we left our intrepid heroes, things weren't looking too good. This issue opens with Guy's hand, fingers clenched in pain, scratching in the dirt, and then a gradual closeup of his body and face, dripping with blood, eyes rolled back in his head and definitely not a happy camper.

Next we shift to a look at R'amey's body enveloped in a beautiful pinkish-purple cocoon in front of the meteor artifact that started this whole mess.

Then a quick shift to the dismembered body of the evolved Khund. There are no words needed for any of these pages, the artwork tells the story beautifully.

At this point, I can actually draw a breath. Ah hah! R'amey doesn't look like she's dead, and Von Daggle, cunning little shape-shifter that he is, took the place of the dead Khund. Guy on the other hand, is not doing too well.

Oh well, back into the story. The evolved Dominator, is busy tearing up the old Watchtower on the moon of earth, and getting pretty pissy, because things aren't going exactly the way that he planned. He may have evolved but he's got the temper and self-control of a two-year old. And then who should show up, but Darkseid! He's a little cranky himself, since he has plnas for earth himself. See? EVERYONE loves us!

Meanwhile, back on the Dominator's planet, R'amey comes out of her cocoon, and is all glowing and shiny now, but quite concerned about Guy's condition, which in HER advanced state, she can sense quite clearly. She flies to where Guy is busy dying and confesses her serious crush, before kissing him. It turns out that Monarchist CPR is simply fabulous! Guy is awake, cranky and has his brains back along with his...er...charm. I love the smirk he gives when he admits that he somehow heard her confession of love.

Chomping on the bit, the two of them fly off lickety-split for Earth, having realized that Von Daggle took the place of the dead Khund. Fortunately, R'amey has all kinds of new powers to go with her evolved status, and they take a black hole express, which just kicks all kinds of awesomeness.

Back on the moon, the Dominator has belatedly realized that pissing off Darkseid may perhaps be a bad move on his part, when it finally dawns on him that his disciple the Khund may not be all he's cracked up to be. Von Daggle aattacks, and pulls the same trick that he tried on Guy earlier, turning into a bacterium. Unfortunately for him, the Dominator is wise to his ruse, and is preparing to squish him. Of course who should show up, but Guy and R'amey. Guy's all full of piss and vinegar as Guy should be, saves Daggle's behind, and puts a serious smack-down on the Dominator, who ends up begging like a school girl.

Here's where it really gets interesting. Guy, good Lantern that he is, wants to take the Dominator back to Oa, and let the Guardians decide what to do with him. R'amey has a different idea however, and rips the Dominator into tiny little Dominator pieces. Von Daggle of course thinks that this is an excellent move, while Guy is just flabberghasted.

With the mopping up complete, they are flying back and that's when Von Daggle informs Guy that he's a wash-out and not suited to be in the Corpse. Guy just smiles and says that he's never been so proud of failing. Killing is the easy way out...he prefers to make them suffer a little justice instead. It's pretty obvious that he thinks that Von Daggle is seriously creepy, and he's not feeling too enthralled with R'amey either, when she puts him to sleep. Daggle has said that there is no way that Guy can be allowed to remember what happened, so they mess with his memory a bit. He'll wake up and only remember not being able to find Daggle, and losing his partner in an avalanche and feeling guilty about it, which is particularly nasty I think. And that's that...they fly off, and leave poor Guy lying there on the moon. In a particularly clever twist, it is the same pose as on the cover of GLC #7...except this time there isn't anything crawling out of his ear.

There is an interesting epilogue however. Back on the Dominator's planet, some other poor stooge of a Dominator wanders around the wrong corner and discovers the artifact. There is a fwooosh of light and a scream...!

Well, they leave that for another day.

In my humble opinion, this has been one of the very best Green Lantern stories ever. It was fast-paced, jam-packed with action, beautiful art, witty dialogue, a cracker of a plot, and funny moments along with the gasping-out-loud ones. I sincerely hope that this isn't the last collaboration between these creators. So go out and buy it already!

Happy Valentine's Day

Well...THAT'S an original title. So, I give you some sensational poetry instead.

You're smarter than a bowling ball,
You're sweeter than a cruller.
Just like a floor, without its wax,
Without you, I'd be duller.

Pretty spectacular eh? That's from a six year old Valentine's card that I gave my husband. I'll never find one any better, so I saved it, and just give it him every year, and he hasn't complained yet. Possibly because he hasn't noticed, but that's neither here nor there.

So, on the plus side, Green Lantern Corps #9 is coming in today! I'm simply palpitating with delight.

On the down side, it is snowing, sleeting and just about everything else outside. All bloody winter we haven't had bupkiss for snow, and it has to do it today. And I'm not too thrilled about taking out my month old new car on the slippery roads. But it's Green Lantern! Oh the dilemna.

I hope that everyone enjoys their comics and their sweeties today.



Enjoy!

My vision of Supergirl...Mr. Berganza would probably not approve

So...I'm reading a REALLY funny book the other night..."When Sisterhood Was In Flower", by Florence King, when I came upon a passage that reminded me irresistably of a picture that I had seen a while back, of Supergirl. It was posted on "When Fangirls Attack", and created by Kate Willaert, and it just made me laugh and cry at the same time.

I give you...!


*****

In the following exchange, the names have been changed to protect the innocent. Heh heh.


IN THE COUNTY OF METROPOLIS.....ss.


Ms. Barbara Gordon and "Regiment of Women, Inc." (a.k.a. ROW)

Plaintiffs:
vs.
"Inflatable You" Lifesize Rubber Dolls, Inc.
Defendant.

For the Plaintiffs: Ms. Jennifer Walters
For the Defendant: Mr. Matthew Murdock

MS. WALTERS: Your Honor, the Plaintiffs contend that the product known as
the Inflatable You Lifesize Rubber Doll, contrary to the manufactuer's claim that it is merely a party novelty, is intended solely for sexual use and furthermore, that it is degrading to women. We therefore ask that an injunction against its manufacture and sale be granted.

Ms. BARBARA GORDON, having first been duly sworn, testified as follows:

Q......(by Ms. Walters) Ms. Gordon, are you the fiancee of Dick Grayson?

A......I was for several years, but he dumped me last year. He said I wasn't viable. I don't know what he meant by that. I've always washed carefully.

THE COURT:.........This is not a divorce hearing. Just answer the question.

Q.......Ms. Gordon, please tell the court what happened on Saturday, July 27th, 2006.

A.......I was worried about Mr. Grayson living alone, so I made a batch of homemade scrapple and took it over to his apartment. He always liked my scrapple. I knocked several times, but there was no answer, so I tried the door and it opened. I went in. And then I saw him. (Witness paused) On the bed.

Q.......What was he doing?

A.......He was having things to do with the rubber woman.

Q.......Do you mean he was simulating sexual intercourse with the Inflatable You doll?

A.......Yes.

Q.......What did you do?

A.......I got scared and threw the scrapple at them.

Q.......What happened then?

A.......The rubber woman blew up.

Q.......What did your fiancee do?

A.......He yelled for help. He was in pain. The rubber woman was wrapped around his private parts.

Q.......Did you offer him assistance?

A.......Yes.

Q.......What did you do?

A.......I pulled on it.

THE COURT:.....Order in the Court.

Q.......Were you able to get it off?

THE COURT:......Order, order order!

A.......No.

Q.......What happened then?

A.......He had a heart attack.

Q.......Ms. Gordon, I show you the remains of the rubber doll that was removed from your fiancee at the morgue. Is this what you saw on him?

A.......Ys.

MS. WALTERS:....Your Honor, I request that this be marked an entered as Plaintiffs' Exhibit 1.

(The Exhibit, being a torn and shredded piece of flesh-colored latex and bearing two sections of what apeared to be blonde hair or hair substitute on the head and pubic regions, and containing a facsimile of facial features as well as a partially dislodged mouthpiece and ripped air valve in the lumbar region, was marked and entered as Plaintiffs' Exhibit 1)

Q.......(by Ms. Walters): Ms. Gordon, I show you an advertisement from the magazine "Hung", describing the item known as the Inflatable You Lifesize Rubber Doll, and ask you to read it into the record.

A.......I can't, it's too dirty.

THE COURT:.....The Clerk will read it.

THE CLERK:.....Are you lonely? Do you want a girl who will obey your every wish and command? Then get acquainted with Kara, who never says no. Kara is five-feet-two inches tall and measures 44-23-35 from the top down, and Kara's top is always down.

THE COURT:.....Order in the Court. If the spectators can't be serious, they can leave. Bailiff, clear the courtroom.

(Whereupon the courtroom was cleared)

THE COURT......The Clerk will continue the reading.

THE CLERK......Kara has real, authentic, lifelike features, exact in every detail to a real live girl. Nothing is missing, and we mean nothing.

THE COURT:.....Bailiff, pull yourself together or get out. I'm warning you, Bailiff. All right, get out. We'll recess for fifteen minutes while I find a new Bailiff.

(Whereupon a fifteen-minute recess was called)

RESUMED

THE COURT.......All right, Mr. Clerk, let's hear the rest of it.

THE CLERK.......Kara loves to be dominated and will roll over at the snap of your fingers to try something new and different. She can take anything that you can give and best of all, she never stops smiling. Order her today. Metropolis residents please add five percent-....

THE COURT......All right, never mind the rest.

Ms. Walters.....We request that the ad be marked and entered, Your Honor.

(The Exhibit, being a piece of paper of the type known as pulp, bearing a representation of said product lying on a bed beside a human male clad in a towel and containing a perforated coupon, was marked and entered as Plaintiffs' Exhibit 2)

Ms. Walters.....Your Honor, I have here a new doll exactly like the one owned and used by Ms. Gordon's late fiancee. I ask the Court's permission to inflate it.

THE COURT.......What is your purpose?

Ms. Walters......I would like to enter it, Your Honor.

THE COURT.......Mr. Clerk, I will not tolerate levity from the officials of this court. You are in contempt. Get out. I said, get out. Bailiff, help him up and get him out of here.

(Whereupon the Clerk and the Bailiff left the Courtroom)

THE COURT.......There is no need to blow it up, Ms. Walters, I grasp the principle. I'm going to dismiss this case. Leave this courtroom, Ms. Walters, and take that latex love goddess with you. Case dismissed.

(Whereupon the Court was adjourned)

****

(please note that this is the original cover, and not the wonderful one made by Kate. I somehow managed to lose the one that Kate made, and have been recently trying to restore the scans in my archives, because of some idiotic housecleaning in my photobucket. Please accept my apologies. However, the original is pretty outrageous as well.)

Random Bloviating

Urrgghh. I don't think that I need to eat for a week. Went up to Boston yesturday to visit my daughter at college, and she and her roomie took us out to dinner at the Texas Roadhouse. Bacon-covered cheesy fries, and pulled pork BBQ and I'm STILL full. In fact, I believe I can feel my arteries hardening even as I type this...but it was sooooo worth it.

And moving forward...I live in a big old Victorian with one of those enormous cast-iron claw-footed bathtubs, the kind that you can happily wallow in, in water up to your chin...and I started thinking profound thoughts.

Back in Green Lantern #13, I was a bit cheesed off because Guy Gardner had to take the blame and the subsequent punishment for Hal Jordan's little mission to Biot, that resulted in the rescue of quite a number of Lanterns, formerly thought to be dead. I was pissed because it looked as though Hal got of scot free...but in retrospect, I am not so sure anymore.

I was particularly peeved at Salakk, who it seemed had been riding Guy pretty hard lately. There is a scene where Salakk reveals to Kilowog that Hal has taken off into the wild black yonder along with Guy against the expressed wishes of the Guardians. Kilowog suggests that Salakk let it slide, but Salakk remarks that not only is it his duty to tell the Guardians...that it is also his pleasure or words to that effect.

Then when Guy and Hal show up back on Oa with a passel of Green Lanterns, all safe and sound...actually GUY shows up with a passel of Lanterns. As far as I can tell, Hal just shows up with Arisia...Salakk hauls the two of them in to get chewed out by the Guardians. Guy steps up to the plate, and covers for Hal, telling the Guardians that it was all his idea, and therefore Hal's not to blame. Keep in mind that Guy had also been the only one to stand by Hal in the earlier confrontation in the cafeteria.

The Guardians KNOW that Guy is covering. Salakk KNOWS that Guy is covering for Hal too. Hal of course just stands there and doesn't say a word, except to give the Guardians some advice on how to go out and retrieve the Cyborg Superman, Hank Henshaw. Then Salakk drags Guy off to perform a month of guarding Superboy Prime as pumishment, while Hal gets kissed by Arisia and flies off to earth.

HOWEVER...in retrospect, I think that Salakk may have just actually helped Guy out. If Guy is the one who took responsibility for the mission and served the punishment for it...Hal really can't take the credit for bringing back all those lost Lanterns now, can he? Thanks to Salakk, Guy's the hero now. So when R'amey Holl in Green Lantern Corps #8 is telling Von Daggle that the nightlights (rookie Lanterns) and the veterans have respect for Guy, she's not exagerating.

Sometimes things work out after all.

Heh heh.

Hal's secret desires...Green Lantern #8

So...I've been going back through my copies of the latest incarnation of Green Lantern as written by Geoff Johns, and enjoying myself of course. It's fun seeing Hal trying to get his life back together, and dealing with the fallout of Parallax, and the art was sensational. I rather enjoyed #7, with John Stewart on Oa trying to deal with the bureaucracy, and Guy Garnder poking Despero inside a cage...just because he could. Hal ordering his ring to ignore Guy, and Guy's deep indignation was also amusing.

Then Hal teams up with Ollie, which is always fun in my humble opinion. It's hard to believe, but Ollie is actually be the voice of reason here, trying to get Hal to concentrate on his family, the real reason that he's living in Coast City, etc. Then Hal realizes that Mongul lite is lurking on earth, and flips out. They go together to fight, but run into the Black Mercy plants, that feed off of their biological host, eventually killing it, but granting the host a fantasy life in return.

This is where we enter #8. Green Arrow and Hal, have both been imprisoned by the same Black Mercy flower, but since Hal's willpower is stronger than Ollie's, they are both living out HAL'S fantasy instead of their own individually. It is very interesting seeing Hal's version of what Ollie's secret desires would be...a close
relationship with Conner, a wife, a baby on the way...although oddly enough his wife isn't Dinah.

However I find Hal's own desires even more interesting. The entire Green Lantern Corps is called in to fight Parallax, who has destroyed the central Battery. Everyone is alive and well, including Kilowog, Arisia and even Ch'p. Oddly enough, Parallax looks like Hal, only dressed in yellow. And the real oddity, is that Sinestro is there, but as his friend and commanding officer. ALL of the other Lanterns are following Sinestro's lead, who of course is brilliant and devises a way to defeat Parallax.

Hal and Sinestro have this warm bonding moment after they destroy Parallax, all the other Lanterns are standing about in awe of Hal and Sinestro's utter brilliance, while John and Kyle support Guy, who's been injured in the battle...

...Wait...What? That's Hal's fantasy? Is that really how he sees Guy? As somebody who is hurt, and that he has to rescue? Well, I suppose that explains a number of things. No wonder Guy annoys the heck out of him. How dare he not be a victom any more.

It goes on, with Hal having his parents alive still, but there is still a sense of impending doom, that Hal just can't shake. Meanwhile, Ollie has realized that his whole fantasy life is exactly that. Except that it isn't HIS fantasy. That's how he's able to break out of the grip of the Black Mercy plants, and how he frees Hal.

Hal's a bit befuddled by the whole experience, but Ollie is able to explain to him that while he may appreciate Hal's gesture, in giving him what he thought he deserved, it isn't right. Of course this just gives another example of Hal's enormous ego...he gave Ollie the life that he thought HE deserved...but not what Ollie wanted.

There is then the nasty battle between Mongul Jr. and his sister, named...I kid you not...Mongal. *snicker* They manage to defeat them, send them back to their own dimension, and save the day as usual. And Ollie manages to get it through Hal's thick head, that perhaps instead of dreaming about the family that he's lost, he should actually pay attention to the family that he HAS. Namely his brother Jim and his family.

So Hal, puts aside being a dick for once in his life, actually shows up at his nephew's birthday party, and laughs and plays and gets along...AND ENJOYS HIMSELF! Finally!

I also find it interesting that they are actually sticking with this idea, that Hal
does have a family that cares for him, and that perhaps he should get his head out of the clouds and pay some attention to them. There was a tiny scene in the Christmas issue of 52, that showed Hal at Jim's house for the holiday, and unwrapping a green tie. *sniff*

See...if you beat Hal over the head long enough, he will get it...eventually.

JLI...or Superhero Kindergarten

This was always my favorite incarnation of the Justice League, by Giffen and DeMatteis.



The roster changed of course, with the addition fairly early, of Booster Gold, Rocket Red, and of course, Fire and Ice. But there is no doubt that the JLI was basically a Metahuman day care center being run by Max Lord, with Batman and J'onn J'onz as the main babysitters.

For one thing, you had Captain Marvel. The Big Red Cheese. A boy, in a man's form, who brought a sense of wonder and naivetee to the world of beating up villains. I always thought that it was rather a shame that they dumped him after a relatively short period of time, because he was such a wonderful foil for...

Guy Gardner.

According to Kalinara...and I must say that I agree with her COMPLETELY...Guy is an angy 8-year old, who coincidentally is also in a man's body. Due to the brain damage that he suffered over in Green Lantern, Guy is not exactly playing with a full deck. But he is so unabashedly, nay GLEEFULLY childish sometimes, that it warms my heart. I remember when he had taken to flying after planes and pressing his face against the windows, scaring the crap out of the passengers. Seriously, if you could fly, wouldn't you want to do that too?

Then there is Blue Beetle. I adore Ted, but there is no doubt that he can be just as childish as Guy when he's in the mood. Add Booster Gold to that and it is double trouble. Beetle and Booster were definitely the Katzenjammer Kids of the Justice League, and it is no wonder that Martian Manhunter turned to Oreos/Chocos in order to be able to cope.

Toss in Fire, and you have a pretty volatile mix. Ice was actually reasonably mature, especially in comparison to just about everybody else in this group, but Fire could definetly be on the bratty side when she felt like it.

To control this interesting assemblage, you had J'onn. Sure, Max Lord was supposed to be in charge, but Max usually acted like a 12-year old himself half of the time. Fortunately he had Oberon to control him, and later L-Ron. J'onn however was an adult in the sea of infantilism. And on the whole, i've always thought that he managed to cope with all the conflicting personalities pretty well...although you could FEEL the migrains. Heh heh.

I'm not too sure about Batman being the best person to be in charge. He was a little too quick to intimidate and discipline. As someone with experience in dealing with teenagers, you'd think he'd be a little more tolerant.

I enjoyed this incarnation however, because...because I suppose it felt more real. Of course people act silly, and compete with each other and play practical jokes on each other. You've thrown all these super-powered people into close contact with each other, in a dorm-like atmosphere, no wonder it is going to be like campus cutups. When they had to fight the bad guys, they did, but they didn't spend ALL of their time fighting evil.

I still like the Justice League, but I miss those small, intimate moments.

They Got The Body Types Right In Ion #10

This is Kyle Rayner. He's a very nice boy.



I liked the recent issue of Ion, which had an interesting story, and incidentally had Guy Gardner in it, which always boosts a book in my esteem. What I really did like however, was the art, by Greg Tocchini, which I really only mentioned in passing in my previous review.

Why do I like it? It is clear and unfussy, and nicely done, but that's not the main reason. I LOVE the fact, that Mr. Tocchini has presented us with a variety of body types. This is of course, a subject that has come up before, but it is still always a pleasure to get past the massively over-muscled super-heroic musculature that graces the pages of SO many books, and instead have a normally sized hero instead.

Look at this:



Here, we have Kyle talking with Captain Atom, who it turns out ISN'T dead at all. Wearing some rather massive armor, the good Captain is tall and broad-shouldered, and obviously well-muscled, without thankfully, being freakishly so. In contrast, Kyle is quite a bit shorter, and much smaller. He has a slighter build, and just looks younger...which is as it should be.




Now here is Kyle talking things over with Guy, and again it shows their differing body types. Guy is older and taller than Kyle, and he looks it. Again though, he's not bulging with incongruous muscles. And, it's always a pleasure to have Guy smiling without grimacing.

Three different characters, and three different depictions of body types. And that's how it should be.

Ice...just because

I really like Adam Hughes as an artist, and I am breathlessly awaiting his debut as a writer in Wonder Woman. But I always thought that he did the definitive Fire and Ice, and I loved...LOVED his work back in JLI.



Ice and Fire were a neat concept. Total opposites in personality and powers, and yet somehow, best friends. It was also nice because there aren't really a lot of female friendships, except maybe Barbara and Dinah. But they were fun together. Ice was the quieter of the two of course, but she was just...sweet. And I miss sweet sometimes.

And Ice and Guy together were just great.

Ion: Guardian of the Universe

Wow! I just noticed in looking at the cover of Ion #10, that it has the DC logo on the upper left-hand corner, and the Tangent Comics logo on the upper right-hand corner. Interesting!

So anyways, on with the review. I liked it. I'm not particularly familiar with the Tangent universe, although I HAVE heard of it, but I thought it was a clever idea, and something a bit different. And I really liked the art. Kyle looks young and is normal-sized which is always a bonus. I get so tired sometimes of all the gratuitous muscles. Not ALL superheroes are built like tanks.

So, Kyle has been sucked into the Green Lantern of the Tangent Green Lantern and is fairly confused about what is happening. He comes across the pair of kids who originally found the lantern...much to their relief. They manage to discuss what little they know, and I must admit that I found it amusing when Kyle conjured up a picture of the Tangent people, and the one smart-assed kid immediately made a grab of her. Little jerk better not try that on a real girl, or he'll be in for an unpleasant surprise. And yes, Kyle is TOTALLY a "superhero dude".

They decide to try and find their way home, and Kyle whips up a glowing green kiddie ride constuct, which the kids find really lame, so an increasingly frustrated
Kyle now makes a VERY awesome futuristic motorcycle...thingie. He's got those kids eating out of his hand.

Eventually, they come across some monster types. UGLY monsters. Kyle even tells the kids not to jump to conclusions...ugly doesn't always mean bad. However in this case...
"so...monsters. I can do monsters."

"Yeah. I went with the horrible-looking monsters are the bad guys assumption. Turns out that one's pretty safe most of the time. Sucks to be right"

Wait, an unfamiliar...but heroic person shows up...and he knows Green Lantern! Well dip me in honey, it's none other than Captain Atom, who apparently isn't dead at all. Turns out his suit kept him alive, but he's been bouncing around alternate "places", and hiding out from the Monitors. Kyle's not to happy to hear about the Monitors, considering one showed up in his apartment a little while ago. Capt. Atom agrees that he thinks they are up to something and tells Kyle that he's in the "Bleed" an "ocean. A river. A place between places". Fortunately he's able to help Kyle and the kids get back home.

Back on the beach, the Tangent heroes show up and start acting weird. In a rather cool scene, Kyle manifests, coming right out of her chest! The two boys come out of the other two Tangent characters as well. Needless to say, they are rather surprised. Kyle swipes the mystical lantern and sends them on their way back to their universe, and then sends the kids back home, safe and sound.

Kyle then zips on back to Oa, where we have a charming scene with he and Guy Gardner. Yeah! Kyle explains the whole thing to a slightly puzzled Guy, and asks him to take charge of the Tangent Lantern as well. Guy is certainly willing to take it, but asks Kyle why. Kyle's reply is that he trusts Guy, which makes me go Awwwwww!!. Kyle then realizes that he's got to go and check in with the Guardians, but Guy promises to check in on his Mom for him.

So... the Guardians have a task for our young Mr. Rayner, which is checking out a Rift in reality, located in sector 3388. They are being rather curt about all of this, which I find rather surprising. I've been under the impression that they all think that Kyle is the Bee's Knees, but they are being pretty snarky here. Kyle has been hanging out with Guy for too long, he's pretty sarcastic himself. He does ask them about the "Bleed", which they manage to completely ignore. There's no doubt about it, the Guardians are definitely up to something.

And finally, Kyle flies off to sector 3388, and discovers a bunch of dead Qwardians, which is probably not a good thing. He's investigating, when suddenly, who should show up but Donna Troy! The music swells, and we have a cliffhanger!

All in all, a pretty good issue, it bounced right along, with some nice cameos, intrigue and fun dialogue. The art was pleasant to look at, and little hints are being dropped all over the place. Definitely worthy of a read.