Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Apparently, I DO live in the DC Universe

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Saturday, April 05, 2008

Apparently, I DO live in the DC Universe

Our small local newspaper, the Journal Inquirer has a photograph of a middle-aged and slightly paunchy gentleman dressed up in a very nice Batman costume, jogging along the side of the road. It is accompanied by this article:

BATMAN REVEALED, SORT OF
by Max Bakke

Ellington ---"The local man who has been spotted jogging about town dressed as The Caped Crusader strives to help citizens when his hours spend fighting crime are finished.

The 41-year old man who prefers to be identified only as Batman, has lived in Ellington since 2001 and maintains a secret identity as a consumer advocate who assists homeowners facing foreclosure.

The jogging stqarted as a bet between Batman and his three sons. He said that if his boys bought the suit, he would wear it while jogging. When he tried to back out, Mrs. Batman stepped in and made him honor his promise, he said. 'The first car that saw me, stopped and started snapping pictures' he said.

Batman has since lost 56 pounds while patrolling the streets around Jobs Hill Road and the town green--working to get down to a suitable crime-fighting weight. He tells everyone who stops for a picture to stay in school and steer clear of drugs, he said. 'I'm keeping the cows of Ellington and the residents here, safe.'

Sometimes he can be seen running along with his trusty sidekick, Robin, his 11-year old son. 'He enjoys it', Batman said of the Boy Wonder.

A Journal Inquirer employee snapped a phot of Batman listening to his iPod. So what does The Dark Knight listen to while he's pounding the paement, scouting for evil? 'Country mostly,' he said adding that "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" by Big and Rich and "Hillbilly Deluxe" by Brooks & Dunn, get him fired up.

So does this mean residents may soon see the shining beacon of the bat signal beaming from the roof of Town Hall? "I'm sure if we proposed it, the Board of Finance would view it favorably," First Selectman Michael P. Stupinski said.

The cows will sleep more soundly this weekend."

Gosh, I'm glad that I live in Connecticut. I can only assume that his three sons are named Richard, Jason and Timothy.

4 Comments:

At 8:24 PM, Blogger Evie said...

That's AWESOME. That's all I got. It just is. Especially the Selectman Stupinski part.

 
At 12:37 PM, Blogger Ames said...

That's really his name!

 
At 9:14 PM, Blogger Ami Angelwings said...

Awww that sounds so great :) He needs daughters named Barbara, Cassandra and Stephanie too! xD

 
At 7:00 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Well, apparently he's quite the hit in Ellington. Granted, there isn't a whole LOT of things to DO in Ellington, other than cow-tipping, so having a dazzling urbanite like Batman jogging around town is certainly going to generate some excitement.

 

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