Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Marvel, You Mess with DOOM...At Your Peril!

Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!

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Monday, March 31, 2008

Marvel, You Mess with DOOM...At Your Peril!

So...did anybody read Mighty Avengers? And that scene where Dr. Doom refers to Ms. Marvel as a "piece of fat furniture" not to mention a cow and a whore? I blush to admit that I didn't actually buy this issue, I've been a bit leery of the whole Skrull thing for quite some time...but really WHAT THE HELL is this?

I know that Marvel has been ramming the whole Secret Invasion plotline down our collective throats. You can't trust anyone, they might be a Skrull. Wolverine can't smell them, Dr. Strange can't find them magically, there is no way to tell, unless you kill one, or they show themselves. Scary, right?

I suppose. It could lead to some dangerous paranoia on the part of the heroes, as they wouldn't know whom it was safe to trust. The only problem with that scenario, is that it was just used as the entire basis for Civil War, as far as I can tell. And ever since the end of Civil War, all the action has been just spinning its wheels, waiting for the Skrulls to show up. In issue after issue, Bendis has had Skrullery raise its ugly green head...but nothing much has happened. They've been hauling Electra's poor Skrullish corpse around for months now. Various characters have been written as horribly OUT of character. We're about to find out that NOTHING IS AS IT SEEMS!

I...I don't care. My reaction to finding out that perhaps the past twenty years of Marvel continuity can be thrown out of the window because possibly EVERYBODY is a Skrull is a giant yawn.

However...you just DON'T mess with Dr. Doom. Doom is a villain yes, but he is a villain with grandeur, a villain with class. He gives Storm a nice dinner and wine before he plans to turn her into a living statue. He has his own country, for heaven's sake. He can monologue with the best of them...heck, he IS the best of them. He actually doesn't think of himself as a villian, and he probably would do a dandy job of running the world.

What he doesn't do, is go around insulting women and mocking their appearance or proclivities. So obviously, they have made Dr. Doom into a Skrull. Why, he hasn't even blamed Richards for everything! It's obvious. I also think that Jarvis is a Skrull, since I really don't think that the real Jarvis would have said those awful things about poor Tigra. Stark, Richards and Pym are all Skrulls. The entire U.S. Post office has been infiltrated by Skrulls, including Willy Lumpkin.

So where have the originals been all of this time? Do the Skrulls do the obvious thing and kill the originals (which would make sense) or do they simply detain them somewhere. which is the more comicbooky answer? If the latter is the case, then that means that...somewhere...Dr. Doom is planning his revenge.

At the end of this whole tiresome mess, I want Dr. Doom...the REAL Dr. Doom, to show up and kick their lumpy green butts. Now it's true that I have an oft-expressed love for Green Butts. Just not SKRULL butts.

Now, if, at the end of Secret Invasion, Marvel decides to bring back their heroes...then I might actually read them again. Maybe.

Oh and Mephisto? Totally a Skrull.


At 10:35 AM, Blogger nicodemus88 said...

Oh yess the scene between Storm and Doom was a delight !!!

totally true ! Doom is a villain but it's an Emperor !!! and as an Emperor he didn't talk to women like this.

Doom is so much clever than this, he can be ironic and make you feel like an asshole without using such lesser ways...

Doom is pride... and his pride prevent him to be unpolite !

I start to be aroused by final crisis but the more time goes by the less the skrull thing interest me.

At 4:12 PM, Blogger Sea_of_Green said...

I still haven't quite forgiven Marvel for allowing the film version of Doom to be reduced to the level of idiocy evident in the Fantastic Four movies. Doom is supposed to be Marvel's GREATEST villain -- one of THE greatest villains in comic book history -- and they ruined him on film. Magneto got much better treatment than Doom did!

At 6:20 PM, Blogger Stephen said...

for secret invasion you should temporarily change the name of your blog to "Green Skrull Butt's FOR NEVER!)

At 10:30 PM, Blogger Gyuss Baaltar said...

I do love me some Doom. The best villians aren't evil. They think they are doing right, but just have different values than you and me.

Lex Luthor, Doctor Doom, Karl Rove (ok, nix that last one he IS evil) great great villians

At 10:59 PM, Blogger FoldedSoup said...

Must be horribly awful to have your identity used for personal amusement.


At 7:26 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Stephen, "Green Skrull Butts Fornever" is INSPIRED! I love it.

The title that is. REAL Skrull butts are saggy and scaley, and would simply pale in comparison to a true Green Lantern behind. Why, one look at Kyle's rear end, and they'd go sadly slogging back to their poor decimated planet. There are SOME things that just can't be imitated.

At 10:48 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Oh, and Sea, you are absolutely right. You don't take a fabulous villain and turn him into a snotty businessman. Lex may be able to make that sexy, but NOT Dr. Doom.

At 8:24 PM, Blogger Derek said...

Dr. Doom is a great villain. Maybe Marvel's only good one (M.O.D.O.K.?).

That's a major difference between the two companies, I think. As a DC fan, I love me some villains. Lex Luthor, Joker, Sinestro, Dr. Psycho, Black Adam[, and of course, Dr. Polaris]. Heck, in a lot of cases - like Batman and Flash - it's the villains, not the hero, that makes the hero interesting.

But Marvel doesn't really seem to have that, except for the incomparable Dr. Doom. Maybe that's why Marvel conflicts always seem to be hero-versus-hero...

At 1:20 AM, Blogger Ami Angelwings said...

Srsly. That wasn't doom AT ALL!

I think the Skrull's are storing them in my basement :o That would explain some things >.>


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