That's really just a fancy-ass way of saying reviews. In a way. I'm trying to wax a bit poetic here! And I have to say that it was a bit of a mishmash this week, with not a whole lot out there. Convergence seems to be over...I guess it's over? And what the heck did it accomplish? I'm not really all that certain. I guess the various universes are still...out there? Maybe? It's all very nebulous and iffy, but I suppose that this means that someday...perhaps when DC gets its sanity and balls back...they can go back to that store of fabulous characters and stories and mine it anew. So that's a good thing. But it was a pretty cheesy cross-over with the exception of Shazaam...which was just fabulous. There were a few good moments along the way...Guy Gardner was uniformly magnificent for example...but for the most part, it was regrettably forgettable.
So now we have some new books.
I wanted to like this, I really did. But it felt pretty labored and flat to me. Bat-Mite shows up and wrecks the Batmobile, and annoys Batman a tiny bit, and discovers a Mad Scientist who is gathering up people to switch brains with. That's about it. Oh, and Hawkman is discovered chained up in her dungeon.
Green Lantern: Renegade #41
So this is old Hal, not Parallax Hal. And he has the gauntlet with the Ring power that he swiped before he decided for no apparent reason, to go all renegade, and beat up Kilowog...also for no apparent reason, and now he is acting out his Han Solo fantasies, and hanging out in seedy dives across the Universe. But he has a kick-ass ship, with an AI called "Darlene". And he grew his hair.
He rescues some kidnapped noble, and takes one of the kidnappers prisoner, and does some various deeds of derring-do, and goes off to Oa, or Mogo, presumably to dump off his prisoner and discovers to his horror that the Green Lantern Corps is...Gone!
For one thing, why the hell would he go back to the Corps, if he is a big shot rebel now? That doesn't make any sense at all. Secondly...why the hell is he doing this whole rebel thing...AT ALL? I know that Hal doesn't take orders well, and that perhaps he felt trapped and ill-at-ease in the leadership position he was thrust into by the Guardians, but still...all he had to do, was say he would rather NOT lead the Corps, and hand it over to John, or Salaak or Kilowog or a THOUSAND other Green Lanterns?
But no...Hal has to make the big dramatic gesture. He's such a prima donna, he, really is. I find the whole situation completely ridiculous, but hey, it's Hal, and I guess I'll be hanging around to see how this all unfolds. But I really do find it to be a ludicrous situation.
Justice League #41
Well we have the start of the Darkseid War! Oooooh! Darkseid is mad because he couldn't conquer Earth, so he is giving it the old college try again. Cyborg can detect when a Mother Box shows up. Scott Free is running around, which is actually a good thing,and so, apparently is Barda...which is also a good thing. He's not real happy with the crummy deal his father gave him, when he traded him to Darkseid, and you can hardly blame him for that, because we previously found out in the Green Lantern books that High Father is a real jerk.
But what I can't understand...is how the heck Hal is flitting about with the Justice League, with his regular hair and his Green Lantern uniform, when he is supposed to be out doing his renegadish thing in Space? Bwuh?
There is some other stuff, a mean woman shows up and beats up the League, while a couple of Darkseids toadies are looking for a woman named Myrina Black,and killing all the ones who aren't the one they are looking for. That's convoluted, and a tad wasteful. You would think a Mother Box would be a bit more accurate. Then the real one shows up. Everyone gets beaten up a little too easily, but hey, it is the beginning of the story.
Again, I can't say that I really all that enthusiastic. Maybe it will improve.
And on to Marvel
Okay, this was cute. I like Groot.
He wants for some reason to go and visit Earth. Rocket has his doubts and voices them vociferously. And they have quite a number of adorable adventures along the way. Including Space Sharks, and inept Skrulls, and stand-ins for Jor-el and Kal-El, which is hilarious. And a Space Pirate, because why the heck not?
It's silly and fun, and quite frankly, exactly what I am looking for.
Giant-Size Little A vs X
Kid versions of the Avengers vs the kiddie X-men, and a no holds barred brawl of the neighborhood! More silliness, but hey, it's Skottie Young, and you just can't beat that.
This is just as ridiculous, but also fun. It takes place on the new Battleworld of Doctor Doom, a concept that makes absolutely NO sense whatsoever, but that seems to be what Marvel is dishing out to us. At least it is amusing. And Modok blows up Gambit, which made me cheer.
It's a lovely moment. And boy howdy, can he monologue!
Where Monsters Dwell #l
Another Secret Wars tie-in thingie. But is has a Frank Cho cover, and I love Frank Cho, and it is written with a great deal of bombast and glee by Garth Ennis, and I love Garth Ennis.
Starring the Phantom Eagle! What a dick! Seriously, he's a real jerk, but an amusing jerk, and he ends up dumping some poor pregnant girl, trying to stiff his mechanic, and fending off some really angy purchasers of his low-grade gelignite. Then he gets chartered to fly a very naive and lovely young lady to a certain location, except that they get attacked by Pteradons, and she is far from naive, and the joke is on him. I am going to stick with this because it is just a tad insane, and it has dinosaurs in it. What's not to love?
I really don't get the whole concept of the Secret Wars thing going on at Marvel. All the various Earths, have collided, and been destroyed, mainly due to the machinations of the Illuminati who have screwed things up royally. And somehow, various parts of the different worlds have all ended up squished together to make Battleworld, ruled over by Doom, with various heroes and villains serving as his nobles, and controlling their various domains.
Frankly, it has been done before with DC's Mosaic, and I have to say that Mosaic made a WHOLE lot more sense. Man...I miss that book. This is just...weird. And what is so Secret about it? Why call it Secret Wars? What happened to all the regular people? If they wanted to do something like this, I think that is fine, but it could have been arranged a little better. I don't quite understand how exactly they are going to get out of this one, but I have to admit that dinosaurs make everything better.
It's going to be an...interesting summer.