A "How-To" Manual .for Aspiring Bloggers
Sometimes there are the sort of days when you just don't know WHAT to talk about. You stare desperately at your screen, your fingers hovering over the keyboard, waiting...waiting for that jolt of inspiration. You begin to suspect that the resolve to do this on a mostly daily basis was in fact the ravings of a Mad Woman, and that maybe nobody wants to really read about your Green Lantern ass fetish.
That, my dear friends, is when you pull out the handy-dandy manual.
#1.......Find a picture of Batman that makes him look silly or foolish.
Since Batman is so popular, and the epitome of comic booky omnipotence this has the chance to look either witty, or piss off a lot of Batman fans. Either way...you win!
#2.......Find a picture of Hal Jordan being hit in the head.
This has the advantage of being fun and really really really easy to do. There are literally hundreds, nay, probably THOUSANDS of pictures of Hal Jordan being hit in the head. You don't even have to make up stuff to try and make it relevant. Just the sight of it is pleasing.
#3........Find a picture of a Green Lantern Butt
Again...surprisingly easy to accomplish. Gil Kane ALONE has oodles of stuff to scan. Practically every artist since then, has somehow become hypnotized by the various behinds of the various Green Lanterns. They don't even have to be human butts. Kilowog for example has an amazingly taut pair of buttocks.
Mix together in different amounts...and serve!
posted by SallyP @ 9:12 AM
9 Comments:
I base my entire blog off the first one alone!!! Maybe it's time to broaden the horizons? Nah, I think I can trust you to cover the second two.
AH, but see -- NOW you gotta write a story tying those three panels together!
In her never-ending quest to ensnare Guy Gardner, Kari Bimbo -- er -- Limbo shows up with a suspiciously redheaded child, INSISTS that it's Guy's lovechild, and says it's GUY's turn to babysit (and supply child support). Horrified -- and always looking for an opportunity to stick it to Batman -- Guy leaves the baby at Wayne Manor, mutters a hasty "Take-care-of-this-kid-for-me-willya-gotta-go-fight-some-Sinestro-Corps-baddies-well-see-ya-'BYE" -- and takes off. A pissed-off Bruce then signals Hal and gives him hell about Guy and about how horrible it is for children to be abandoned by their parents, blah, blah, blah. Hal shows up and gives the kid a DNA ring-scan and discovers that Guy ISN'T the father. Hal then tracks down Kari and confronts her over the issue, whereupon she goes off on Hal and slugs him one. Well, that slug HURTS far more than a slug from any normal woman -- and, by god, Hal would KNOW what that feels like. He ring-scans Kari and discovers that HE is actually a Manhunter robot in disguise -- sent forth by a Sinestro Corps member just to f*** with Guy. Hal blows up the robot and finds Guy to tell him what happened, and Bruce contacts the Gotham City Police Force about returning the baby to his proper home. THE END.
Er ... something like that.
And here I was expecting the love-child to actually be Hal's, because Kari totally would try to pawn it off on Guy. But I kind of like the Manhunter ending better. Less messy for everyone (except the Manhunter).
If we didn't read about your Green Lantern ass fetish here, Sally, we might be forced to read a blog about less attractive asses instead. And no one wants that.
Practically every entry I write is a combination of this stuff! Which is a little depressing, now that I think about it.
Sea, I would SO want to read that as a comic book! Joe Staton would be the perfect artist. Except you just know that somehow Batman would manage to screw with Guy a little bit.
...Wait, that came out all wrong.
>>>Practically every entry I write is a combination of this stuff! Which is a little depressing, now that I think about it.<<<
Nonsense! Your blog is the EPITOME of what it means to be a Green Lantern fan.
First, the Batman thing. Guy said it himself once: Batman and Green Lanterns DO NOT mix. Even Kyle and John have problems with Batman (though Bats is nicer to them than to Hal and Guy). So, as a Green Lantern fan, OF COURSE you like to humiliate Batman!
Next, Hal getting hit in the head. Really, is there a more endearing running gag in ALL of Green Lantern lore? Granted, it's one hit upon by fans, and not necessarily the creative teams. STILL--!
Last, Green Lantern Butts. I think it's now pretty obvious to people that artist Gil Kane started the trend of featuring Green Lanterns with GREAT butts that are almost always on display. Later artists have carried on the tradition. It's up to Green Lantern fans to make sure Green Lantern butts CONTINUE to be on display AND admired! :-)
NO OTHER BLOG carries on these honored Green Lantern fan traditions better than yours, Sally!
Please, you're making me blush.
Somewhere on your computer you have an image folder consisting of nothing but GL butt shots, don't you?
What's it named?
Yeah, he does, particularly for, you know, a guy his size...
Heh heh heh.
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