Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: I Am so Smartt!

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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I Am so Smartt!

This is all Kalinara's fault. Again. Her latest blog had the utterly brilliant idea of having lawyers having to deal with superheroes and such. She also threw in a bit about how she'd read a book that was nothing but superheroes working at the DMV. Immediately, my brain inserted the old Giffen/DeMatteis Justice League into THAT slot, and the idea has been fermenting ever since.

However, I really do have an idea. We could do away with crime OVERNIGHT with this idea, it is so fabulous.

Legalize drugs. But the ONLY place that you can get them, is at your local Department of Motor Vehicles.

Can't you picture it? Some whacked out druggies come in, and have to fill out numerous forms in triplicate, and produce their birth certificates, social security numbers, the credit rating of their third cousins in the old country and so on and so forth to a bored and cranky middle-aged clerk. Think of Selma and Patty from the Simpsons. I'm sure that there is a LOT more paperwork that could be added to the whole process. And then after standing in line for an hour, they would discover that they were in the WRONG line, and get sent back to start all over again.

It would just be easier to give up drugs. Therefore crime would plummet. Instead of petty thievery and gang wars, the supervillains would once again be able to concentrate on crimes based on clever gimmicks and stuff with clowns and exploding teddy bears and life would just be grand.

Sometimes I just impress the heck out of myself.


At 9:16 AM, Blogger Matthew said...

Somehow druggies waiting for hours at the DMV seems like a recipe for a spike in the violent crime rate, even if drug crimes drop. Heck... normal, non-coked up people look ready to fly into a fit of rage at the DMV. Imagine if they were artificially on-edge. :)

Star Labs better start installing lots of high-tech security devices!

At 10:36 AM, Blogger nicodemus88 said...

Well we can apply this with other things : Alcohol in the case of my uncle would have been a good thing and candies as I am concerned.
We don't have DMW as horrific but... I swear I hate french bureaucratic administration !!!


At 11:45 AM, Blogger Dwayne "the canoe guy" said...

Actually, this would just make the underground economy just that much larger. If you make it harder to get drugs than the current illegal system, the illegal system will just get larger.

Just look at the underground Lincoln Log market. It is a lot easier to get Lincoln Logs from my local pusher, even though the punishment for owning a non-federally endorsed log is pretty steep, I'm willing to risk it.

I can get Federal logs, but it takes 3-5 hours a week, or I can get hot logs and it only takes about 20 minutes a month. hmmmmm, I think I"ll risk the jail time. Also, the overall price of hot logs might go up, but taking into account what my time is worth, it comes about even, but with hot Lincoln Logs I get to stick it to the man.

At 5:44 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Oh, I wish I still had my Lincoln Logs. Kids nowadays don't know the true joy that comes from the creation of a REALLY cool looking fort.

Cattle prods, Mathhew. Cattle prods.

Nico, I imagine that the French bureaucracy is just as horrifying as the American.

At 6:06 AM, Blogger Bully said...

This would definitely lighten up Patty and Selma Bouvier.

At 6:14 AM, Blogger Sea_of_Green said...

Thank heaven above that the DMV doesn't handle our annual income taxes as well!

At 7:41 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Bully, they'd probably get more dates this way.

Hush, Sea. Try not to think of things like that, it's bad for the baby!


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