Is Too Much Enthusiasim a Good Thing?

It happens every month, in the pages of Preview, or on various sites, such as Newsarama and others, the enthusiastic blurg that heralds the arrival of the new books. Sometimes I pay attention, and sometimes not. Let me just show a couple of versions, one from Marvel and one from DC.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #563 .......Remember that joke that starts "So Spider-Man walks into a bar, and...?" Well, when it's the Villain-filled Bar with No Name, it's no joke! It's a barroom brawl as only Mike McCone can draw it! And that's only the beginning of one of the most maddening nights of Spidey's life! Throw in the Enforcers, the Bookie and a climax at Coney Island, and you've got a recipe for the nuttiest Spider-Man story this year! Gale didn't tell us what he was drinking when he wrote it, but it must have been good stuff!

And

FINAL CRISES #2.........Meet Japan's number one pop culture heroes, the Super Young Team and their languid leader, Most Excellent Superbat! Join legendary wrestler Sonny Sumo and super escape artist, Mister Miracle as they team to face the offspring of the Anti-Life Equation! See Earth's superheroes mourn one of their oldest allies! Witness costumed criminals sinking to new depths of cowardice and depravity as Libra takes things too far! Uncover the doomsday secret of the poisoned City of Bludhaven! Learn the shocking identity of the prime suspect in the murder of a God! And read on if you dare, as Batman becomes the first of Earth's champions to face the Fallen of Apokolips. All this and a spectacular return from the dead....

Just going by the introductions, which book would YOU want to read? Personally, all I really want is a brief description of the plot, no spoilers, or hoopla is actually necessary. A little bit of enthusiasm is ok, but when they start going into a threnody of hucksterism, my own enthusiasm comes to a crashing halt.

You see, I'm one of those really annoying type of person, who when you say that they are going to just LOOOOOOVEEEE something, my first reaction is...no I'm not. I'm just obnoxious that way. It doens't always apply, if somebody that I know and trust tells me that Blue Beetle is the greatest thing since sliced bread, I may be initially skeptical, but I WILL take a look at it. However, when the Company that is trying to sell me their product starts having orgasms all over the page about how sensational their product is, my innate crankiness kicks right in.

Marvel seems to be the worst offender. All that cutesy blurb about how caaraaazzzzy Spider-Man is going to be, and the sly digs at the creators, and the "gosh, aren't we just so hip" attitude leaves me cold. The DC blurb on the other hand I thought was rather clever in a pulpish sort of way. There was a ton of hyperbole of course, but it wasn't sly or self-referencing.

So...DOES all the "You Must READ THIS" type of hype really work? "You'll be Better off Slitting your Wrists, if you Miss this Issue!" "Joe Quesada will hunt you Down, and kidnap your Children if you miss this chapter!" "Dan Didio has a payment on his Boat!" "You have to READ everything we print, or you Won't Know What's Going On!"

Am I the only person who would like to see this..."The Skrulls Invade! Nothing will ever be the same! Iron Man realizes he was WRONG, they all sit down over tea, and work things OUT!"

Or am I just being too cranky?