The New Rulz of Oa
As you all know, being avid readers of Green Lantern, the Guardians of Oa, put their collective little blue heads together in the last issue and came up with ten new rules for the Green Lantern Corps. The first and foremost, being the authorized use of lethal force against the Sinestro Corps. While this is a complete 180 degrees from their former beliefs, I suppose that it is warranted, considering that the Sinestro Corps certainly isn't using kid gloves when it comes to doing their best to exterminate the Green Lanterns.
However, then the Guardians started gettting cocky. They have also rewritten the Book of Oa, and booted out Ganthet and Sayd for holding hands, and having the nerve to disagree with them. So in addition to the new rule about killing off Sinestro Corps, they broke out the champagne, and started coming up with nine MORE new rules.
How does it all turn out? Well...let's just say that tiny blue people can't hold their liquor.
1....Use of lethal force is authorized against the Sinestro Corps.
Well all well and good I suppose, although I do think that this is going to come right back and bite them in their tiny blue butts one of these days.
2...Wednesday is now officially Meatloaf night in the main cafetorium on Oa.
3...Due to numerous complaints, Guy Gardner is hereby banned from calling Boodika, "Bookalicious".
4...Dorine/Onu called. She wants Hal Jordan to start making child support payments. Now
(This one is all Sea of Green's fault)
5...Kareoke night on Fridays!
6...Stop stealing Kilowog's coffee and donuts. He gets cranky, and goes and punches out Shorm.
7...Mogo is sick and tired of socializing. Go and solve your own problems.
8...Stop rubbing the Guardian's tummies for good luck. It does no good.
9...Arisia is ordered to get a costume that FITS.
You're not jailbait any more sweetie. Put on some pants!
10...Stop pinching the Ion whale. It just makes him cry.
You are of course all welcome to come up with better ones.
posted by SallyP @ 7:44 AM
7 Comments:
Sally, you are too funny. :-)
Oh, how I'd love -- LOVE -- to witness Green Lantern karaoke night! ;-) Kilowog sings Sinatra! LOL!
Oddly Nine made me laugh the most.
How many times have the Guardians ignored Ganthet? He's much older than the rest of them, shouldn't he get status as an Elder or something?
And I think one of the Rules should be "Earth GLs can do whatever the hell they want, since they do it anyway." This way the Guardian's will seem more powerful, since Hal and Guy won't technically be breaking any rules.
Damn you Guardians! Everyone knows Wednesdays should be Sloppy Joe Days in the Oan cafe!
Two words:
Mandatory Headgear.
"How many times have the Guardians ignored Ganthet? He's much older than the rest of them, shouldn't he get status as an Elder or something?"
The other Guardians are essentially teenagers, convinced that they know everything worth knowing and Grampa Ganthet is a doddering fool. Five'll get you ten the younger Guardians all listen to "New Kids on the Block" (what can I say, Oa is a little behind the times) and they think Ganthet's a useless codger what with his Dave Brubeck albums.
The joke's on them, though: however hip they may think they are, Ganthet has a driver's license and credit cards. By definition that makes him cooler.
Sea, you know that Kilowog would be simply FABULOUS at Sinatra. We would of course have to put up with John doing Streisand. And Guy of course has a lovely tenor.
Oddly enough,I've always pictured Hal as being tone-deaf. Not really sure why.
Seriously, Arisia needs to put some clothes on. NOW!
Ignoring Ganthet is probably going to turn out to be a very very bad idea. Damn teenaged Guardians.
While sloppy joes are indeed delicious, some of the GL's don't have hands, so ingesting them, is problematic.
Mandatory Headgear is a very GOOD idea!
Ganthet has a ponytail! Not everyone can carry that look off, but he does it well.
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