Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Where have you been, Joe?

Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!

Now with Guy Gardner's Seal of Approval!

Friday, June 06, 2008

Where have you been, Joe?

Something rather interesting happened a day or so ago in my sleepy little burgh of a hometown. We're not really USED to this sort of thing, so it made quite an impression upon us.

"...Police on Wednesday charged a Suffield man in connection with an early morning burglary and shooting on Maple Avenue, in Windsor Locks. Neil Gardner was charged with home invasion with a deadly weapon, second degree burglary with a firearm ,reckless endangerment, threatening and breach of peace. Members of the North Central Municipal Regional Response Team, the West Hartford SWAT Team and police from several departments responded to the scene of the burglary where shots were fired, evacuating people from nearby homes."

Luckily nobody was hurt, although two ambulances and a police car went FLYING past my house that day, and they did catch this guy.

This RED-HAIRED guy. Named Gardner.

It's Joe! I don't care if he said his name was Neil, now we know where Guy's evil Clone Joe has been hanging out! Right here in Connecticut! Being nefarious! We KNOW that he's the clone, because he even went and grew and EVIL GOATEE! I was always a little surprised that Joe didn't have a goatee of Evil, because it would have been SO appropriate.

Poor Joe. What a come-down. You've gone from enslaving ex-Green Lanterns to burglarizing suburban houses. I can only assume that Sledge will be showing up to bust you out any day now. Or maybe not, because you have to admit that this is pretty embarrassing for someone of your stature. I imagine that even Libra would scorn you right about now.


Somewhere, Guy is snickering to himself.


At 9:02 AM, Blogger Sea_of_Green said...

A comedown indeed! ;-)

I still think it would be hilarious if Joe showed up in the comics as a Yellow or Orange Lantern. Heh. And he'd just HAVE to meet Bizarro Hal. ;-)

At 4:34 PM, Blogger Duskdog said...

Poor Joe. He's fallen on hard times. I bet he has a girlfriend and two illegitimate kids in Connecticut somewhere. He tried to go straight for a while, but "evil alien clone of a guy that lots of people already hate anyway" doesn't really do much for your resume. He worked at a Subway for a while, but got fired for spitting on the sandwiches (and also killing people) when some snooty customer said he didn't put enough banana peppers on hers. After that, he decided to go back to crime, but he just had to do some pathetic little burglaries first so that he could get enough money to afford a new spaceship and some wicked weapons and maybe also pay his back child support. Then he got caught...

I've posted about it before, but I really wish they'd use Joe to his full potential (or, you know, use him at all). I'm with Sea of Green: give him a ring! I would prefer yellow, but orange would be okay, too. Also, he should pester Tora, because after all, his memories are the same as Guy's up to the moment of cloning, so he remembers loving her, too. I think she would be simultaneously repulsed and saddened by his very existence.

At 5:40 PM, Blogger SallyP said...

Poor old Joe. They do seem to have forgotten he exists. Right now, he's in jail with a $300,000 bond! Haw!

Man, I didn't even know that we even HAD a Swat team around here! They had a tank and everything!

But yes, Joe has been sadly neglected.


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