Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Geez, Hal, what the heck did you do?

Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!

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Monday, November 06, 2006

Geez, Hal, what the heck did you do?

I don't actually have these issues, but it is pretty obvious that prior to the first Crises, Hal Jordan managed to SERIOUSLY piss off the Guardians, by quitting. His rationale, was that he was tired of not getting any, and wanted to have a real life, and devote it to his one true love, Carol Ferris. So he quit the Green Lantern Corps. Now, it has becomve really obvious that I must find these particular episodes, because the repurcusions seem to be pretty serious.

I don't quite know HOW he told the Guardians, but my only conclusion is that it must have been something similar to the episode in the "Simpsons" where Homer is playing the bongos on Mr. Burn's head. And, quite frankly, I do have a delicious mental picture of Hal doing exactly that to any number of those little blue munchkins. Otherwise, how can you explain that when Crises actually does strike, the small group of Guardians chose to wake up a slightly brain-impaired Guy Gardner, who was a Green Lantern for all of ONE DAY, before he was blown up, tortured, and sent into a years-long coma, and chose HIM to go out and save the universe instead of good old Hal? Even Guy seems a bit surprised by this turn of events, and Hal of course is fit to be tied. But why should Hal even care? Afterall, he's the one who told the Guardians to stick it. But apparently, Carol also told Hal to stick it, and flies off to be a slightly confused super-villainess, so Hal's feeling all depressed.

He's not the only one. The rest of the Green Lantern Corps are also, so it seems, slightly ticked off at Hal. Katma Tui seems in particular to be miffed, since it turns out that she was in love with someone when she was tapped to be a Green Lantern, and Hal tricked her into chosing to save him over her lover, so therefore, OBVIOUSLY, she should join the Corps. She does so, but it seems to have rankled a bit. Fortunately, she and John Stewart spend a lot of time slobbering over each other, which also makes Hal all moody. The rest of the GL Corps seems to be fairly unsympathetic as well.

What I really enjoy in these issues however, is that the Guardians chose Guy instead of Hal, and how he just can't quite believe it. He does everything short of grabbing the Guardian's legs and hanging on and whimpering PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE. He even tries sucking up to Guy a bit, which naturally backfires. And all things considered, considering that he really has NO experience to speak of, Guy is doing pretty darned well, getting together a group of villians to go off and fight the Anti-Monitor and stuff. This has to be where Hal's feelings of resentment towards Guy originate, Guy does a pretty spanking good job, and it is just killing Hal. Guy is pissed at Hal, because he has very good reason to be. (Go and read Kalinara about that)

So somebody please, HOW did Hal quit? We really can't blame this one on Parallax.


At 12:54 PM, Blogger googum said...

Every so often, the GL writers play up Hal's status as go-to guy for the Guardians interfering with his life; like the time he was on assignment while Coast City was being blown up. I'd say it would be like being a tech/IT guy: if something goes south, you are the first one called, and if you're not ready at a moment's notice, they get all mad.

But Hal loves being that go-to guy, even if he sometimes gets angry at being taken for granted. Then when the Guardians or whoever abuse and overuse Hal, he can get so angry that he forgets that he loves his job. I recall a couple of occasions, where he doesn't get mad enough to quit, but cheesed off enough to fume a bit, or dog it out.

At 9:08 PM, Blogger Queer Legion (QL) said...

You are my muse!

If not for you, I wouldn't still be blogging!!!

At 9:50 AM, Blogger SallyP said...



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