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Thursday, September 11, 2014

Reviews

Short...but not sweet.  At all. 

Gosh, this was terrible.  With one exception.

Batman/Future's End #1

Frankly, this was incomprehensible to me.  Five years from now, Batman is in bad shape, and against Alfred's advice goes after...something...somewhere, which turns out to be a lab of Lex Luthor's.  Against all odds, he manages to get into the lab, with holograms of Lex taunting him all the way.  And once again, Lex is trying to clone Superman. 

The art was horribly confusing, Batman was fighting...something, I couldn't tell what,and managed to get a body or clone or something...I don't know what.

This was terrible.


Green Lantern Corps/Future's End #1

This wasn't much better.  The Universe still sucks, and John Stewart is now a Killer, using his mad Marine Skills to be a Super Sniper In Spaaaaace!  Or something.  Then Indigo shows up,and they argue with each other, and John accidentally...or so he says...kills her, and become the new Indigo. 

Oh God, just make this Future's End crap stop!  Equally terrible.


Justice League United/Future's End #1

Because it is always such a brilliant idea to put the worst criminals in the Universe in a Gulag, they created one on Mars, which is where people like Despero and Mongul are.  This is what Sciencells on Oa are for, people!  Naturally, they escape, and J'onn who is their keeper is in big trouble. and the villain turns out to be...Captain Shinypants! 

I actually let out a guffaw at that final page.  But it is still awful.


And finally

Hawkeye #20

At last!  A book that wasn't dreadful!  Poor Kate is in jail, and has discovered that Madame Masque is running some sort of lab or factory or something, that gives rich old people new bodies, which is why Elliot Gould...er...Harold is back amongst the living, although one of her arrows was found in his chest.  She's being interrogated by none other than SHIELD, which makes sense, since the clones are LMD's.

Needless to say she's having a very hard time, and getting beaten up, and the story jumps around from the present to the past a bit, so you have to pay attention, but she does win in the end...sort of.  SHIELD takes over, which annoys her, but her old buddies on the beach still love her.  And she discovers that one of Masque's clients is none other than her dear old Dad. 

Bummer. 

She also has almost as many bandaids as Clint.  This is all leading up to the final issues I guess,and it was a humdinger as usual.  And the only bright spot in my reading week.

DC...please we need to have a talk.  This September you are offering us all the lenticular covers again, and showing our favorite super heroes in a horrible dystopian future...again.  It is all wildly out of continuity, wildly out of character, and just wildly wildly horrible.  This is depressing, awful, violent dreck.  It makes me sad to read it.

Just...just stop.  Please.   I don't think that I'm even going to bother picking up any more of your books for this month at least.

3 Comments:

At 9:40 AM, Anonymous Randy Jackson said...

It is a shame. I was looking at Darwyn Cooke's December Variant Covers, all of which are gorgeous, and just wishing the contents of said books reflected those covers.

Hawkeye was good. It's a shame it's ending.

One of the things I remember about Harold H. Harold was that at one point in time I think he was supposed to be inflicted with Vampirism. That would certainly explain him rising from the dead.

 
At 2:44 PM, Blogger Saranga said...

Oh good grief.

Why does DC think we want to read about a miserable as sin, nasty, depressing future.

 
At 5:46 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Hawkeye WAS good! I'm going to miss it terribly. But the rest of my stuff was...less than stellar.

And Darwyn Cooke's covers are so fabulous that it makes me want to cry, since we have to read this other horrible stuff in the meantime.

Actually we DON'T have to read it. It's just a habit, and sometimes you have to just break habits.

Saranga, I couldn't even begin to figure out why DC is just so miserable at the moment. But miserable they are.

 

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