Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Where It Began

Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!

Now with Guy Gardner's Seal of Approval!

Friday, May 17, 2013

Where It Began

It may come as a surprise to some of you...but I really really like Guy Gardner.  He is my favorite Green Lantern, and I really really like ALL Green Lanterns.  And their butts.  It just happens to be my mostly harmless fetish...er...obsess...er...thing that I like. 

Don't judge me!

It didn't start out this way.  My first comic book love was...Asterix. I used to read them...in french...at my dentist's office when I was about six.  Then I like the Batman television show with Adam West when I was a bit older.  To this day, Frank Gorshin is still my ultimate Riddler.  And Julie Newmar IS Catwoman. 

Then I discovered Marvel, and had a serious crush on Thor.  I loved his hair.  I mostly was a Marvel Zombie as a teen, although I knew of the DC heroes of course.  Everyone has to know who Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman are.  And I liked the Green Lanterns.  It was Hal of course, and I barely even knew who he WAS, but man, he had a nice costume.  And purty purty hair.  Not quite Thor hair, but still...pretty good. 

Black and Green was such an interesting color combination in a sea of primary colors for heroes. 

And as I got older, I found myself slithering over to the DC side of the aisle at the Comic Book Store...and then I found Justice League International and discovered, much to my surprise that there were OTHER Green Lanterns, and I was hooked.  And went out and found all the back issues in those cardboard boxes that I could find. We didn't have collections or trade publications in those days, my children.  And as much fun as it was finding all those old issues, I freely admit that it is a whole heckuva lot easier now to put a collection together. 

And I still liked Hal, and I liked John, and I loved Kilowog and Salaak, and Katma and the whole concept of Space Cops.  And then there was Guy Gardner. 

Gosh, he was obnoxious.  He was rude, and lewd and crude...and I loved it.  He sassed Batman, and I loved him even more.  He was a complete jerk most of the time...and yet, you could see hints of something else there.  And he had such a fabulous costume.

And he didn't even really start out as a semi-villain, anti-hero asshole.  He was actually a pretty nice guy, an alternate choice for Hal, who just happened to be further away when Abin Sur bought the big one.  A gym teacher, someone who had managed to rise above a pretty crappy childhood and put himself through college and make something of himself.  He even became friends with Hal, after Hal learned that he was almost picked.  Then when Hal was having trouble with this ring, he tapped Guy to take over on a temporary basis, and Guy was up to the challenge.

And then it all went sideways.

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See, it wasn't Hal's ring that was going kaflooey, but his battery.  Which he had left with Guy, and which Guy was using to repower his ring, after being a Green Lantern for A DAY!  Followed by his supposed death, imprisonment in the Phantom Zone, being kidnapped and tortured by Sinestro, and falling into a coma for Three years, while his fiancee ran off to marry Hal, and then being brought out of his coma, but still suffering from Brain Damage, which the Guardians couldn't be bothered to fix, and becoming that complete raving maniac that we all know and love.  Well...some of us more than others.

And you wonder why he was a bit cranky with Hal at first?


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