Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Incredibly Tiny Reviews

Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!

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Thursday, February 07, 2013

Incredibly Tiny Reviews

Boy howdy, that was a small week!  The only book on my pull list, was Fairest.  Since I felt weird walking out of my beloved Comic Book Shoppe with only ONE book, I did pick up the "Young Romance" Valentine's Day Special by DC, not realizing until I reached the cash register that the frikkin' thing was $7.99!

Holy Crap! 

Fairest #12

Rapunzel seems to have figured out how to  control her long-lost Bezoars, although I do have to say that this is a bit on the disgusting side.  Tomoko is still cranky, Jack figures out how to escape, and that cool cat thingie, escapes with the head of that other guy, and things seem to be heading towards the finale, which is good, because although I like Rapunzel, this thing is dragging a bit. 

But it is always nice to see Frau Totenkinder and Bigby.

Young Romance: The New 52, Valentine's Day Special!

Urgh. 

I can't believe I spent eight bucks on this.    Six stories, none of which was particularly spectacular or even interesting. 

Catwoman, reminiscing about the first time that she met Batman, but it is the new continuity so it didn't make any sense.

Aquaman and Mera, battening down the hatches because of a storm, and finding some long lost letters from the comely daughter of the old lighthouse keeper, back in the early 1800's, so it is a romantic ghost story.  Not actually terrible.  Not scintillating, but not terrible.

Although why the heck Arthur would be worried about Mera being in the water in a storm makes No Sense At All. 

The Batgirl story has her hooking up with that guy who lost his foot a while back, while helping her.  Barbara had kissed him then for some reason or other, and he can't stop thinking about it, so they kiss again.  Again, not really that terrible.

Then there were a bunch of mini-valentines, with our DC heroes on them!  This was the best part of the book.  Who wouldn't want to get a tiny Valentine with  Damian, or Swamp Thing on it!  It was Hal, not Guy, but "A" for effort.  And a Jonah Hex Valentine!  Woohoo!

Then there is a story with Apollo and Midnighter that ends up in Seoul, Korea, and gets a litte weird.

Nightwing gets dumped, and ends up eating chinese takeout on a rooftop in the snow with some  woman named Ursa, who is a bodyguard or something.  Then they flirt for a bit, and decide to get pizza, although I think he gets stood up again.  Not quite sure. 

And finally, we have Clark and Diana.  This one really set my teeth on edge. 

Diana gets a tip from Eros about a swinging hot spot, so she and Clark end up having dinner there, and then the two of them proceed to whine about how hard their lives are.  Then two women show up as singers, and it turns out that they are actually Sirens, and put Clark under their spell.  Eros is under their spell too, and they apparently want Diana's bracelets and lasso for some reason.  Naturally, she isn't going to take this lying down, and lasso's Eros, which breaks the spell.  Then the Sirens have Superman zap Diana, but she lasso's him too, and he slug her, although he admits he doesn't want to.  So Eros shoots his love bullets at the Sirens who promptly fall in love with HIM, although he's quite cruel to them. 

But then he decides that he doesn't want Superman to be mean to Diana, so he shoots one of his love bullets at Clark.  Diana screams "Noooo" but it's ok, Clark is so utterly fabulous that even though the love bullets are MAGIC, and Diana has proved herself perfectly capable of blocking them in her own book, he manages to "catch" the bullet...simply because he is so incredibly awesome.

Yechh. 

Please, DC, you are not going to make me like Clark and Diana as a couple no matter HOW hard you try and force it down my throat. 

Skip this book, it isn't worth three dollars, much less eight. 

7 Comments:

At 2:13 PM, Blogger Shelly said...

That romance book looked and sounded so stupid. Now I'm glad I didn't get it.

 
At 2:49 PM, Blogger notintheface said...

Apparently Clark is Super-Ozymandias now.

Yeah, that comic was horse dribble. Sorry you wasted eight small on it.

 
At 6:35 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

It isn't even that the stories were banal and uninspired, and in the case of Superman and Wonder Woman, outright infuriating...it's that the damn thing cost so damn much, and that I STILL paid for it...because I'm stupid.

Damn, damn, damn.

 
At 8:28 AM, Blogger Shelly said...

Uh, you paid so we wouldn't have to? I, for one, appreciate your sacrifice. ;)

 
At 9:04 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Well, there's that. And I had such high hopes!

 
At 11:03 AM, Anonymous Bryan L said...

Someone should alert Scipio that there's a Vibe valentine in there. Ah, what am I saying? He probably already knows via his infallible Vibe-sense.

 
At 11:49 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Bryan...he felt the earth move.

 

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