Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Absolutely Filler

Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!

Now with Guy Gardner's Seal of Approval!

Friday, August 10, 2007

Absolutely Filler

So...while I'm waiting for my copy of Green Lantern #22 to come in...I'm going to waste my time and yours on a charming little piece of irrelevancy. Namely, Justice League America, #36. That's the one that takes place right after the Kooey Kooey Kooey fiasco, and has none other than G'nort on the cover. It is of course by Giffen and DeMatteis, so it is utterly ridiculous...but sometimes utterly ridiculous is what you need.

Basically, poor ol' G'nort is bored. He took J'onn J'onnz's advice to go out and see the world, and now all he wants to do is go back and hang with his old buddies at the Justice League. However, he is actually being stalked by his most dangerous enemy...none other than the infamous Scarlet Skier! To be honest, the Scarlet Skier is not really very infamous, and he is probably the only enemy that G'nort really HAS, but still...he's better than nothing.

G'nort shows up at the JLA's headquarters, but strangely, everyone seems to be too busy to hang out with him. Even Guy gives him the brushoff. Especially Guy. Booster and Beetle are busy, so is Kilowog, and Fire has to wash her hair. Oberon is even ruder than Guy, and that's saying something. Basically they all tell G'nort to take a hike. So he does. He's floating above the city feeling rather sorry for himself, when he sees the brilliant red streak of light in the sky that heralds the arrival of...THE SCARLET SKIER!

There is an explosion, so like a good Green Lantern, G'nort rushes off to investigate. The explosion turns out to be the skier crash landing in the park.

"I fell, a meteor from space...to land up this insane WORLD! Oh! What fate has CAST me here...upon these strange and hostile shores? What...oh. Forget the melodrama! I think I hurt myself!"

I'll bet that Frank Miller wishes he could come up with dialogue like THAT!

Naturally G'nort shows up, and the epic struggle is on! G'nort just won't shut up, his style of witty banter rivals Spider-Man. This just pissess the Scarlet Skier off even more, but it IS fun. However, their titanic tussle has attracted some attention, and Mr. Miracle receives a phone call from the Police Commissioner. Reluctantly...VERY reluctantly, Mr. Miracle and Fire show up to save G'nort from himself. They aren't quite buying the whole Scarlet Skier idea as G'nort tries to explain it all to them, since his arch enemy has managed to give G'nort the slip just before they show up. Mr. Miracle even makes mock of the ridiculousness of the Scarlet Skier as an enemy. G'nort does have the snarkiness to point out that "Granny Goodness" is a pretty silly name as well, which shuts up Scott for the moment.

Scarlet Skier in the meantime is simply looking for a way off of Earth. It turns out that he too has attended the Manga Khan school of Melodrama, which goes a long way towards explaining his more elaborate method of explaining himself.

Meanwhile...back at JLA headquarters, G'nort is explaining the Scarlet Skier to the rest of a very skeptical bunch of heroes. It turns out that the Scarlet Skier is actually the messenger of another, he travels the cosmos and when he finds a suitable planet, he sends the call to...MISTER NEBULA! Planetary Designer!! Mr. Nebula, then comes in and makes the planet...FABULOUS! The rest of the leaguers don't want Earth to become any more fabulous than it already is, so they send Miracle and Fire out to find the Skier along with G'nort.

The Skier in the meantime, has been grounded because his skis were damaged when he crash-landed, so he's going to throw himself off of the Empire State Building in shame. G'nort catches him,and the two eventually come to an understanding. They will fix his skis, and let him "defeat" G'nort in order to get his manhood back, and then they'll be square.

Sounds like a good deal, right? Of course G'nort messes up and blows up the Skie's power unit, so he's stuck. G'nort offers him the job of sidekick, and ends up with a punch, and that's how it ends.

It's pretty silly. BUT...it has cosmic fabulousness, punches, snark, Booster and Beetle, and the back of Guy's head, so it wasn't a complete loss. And G'nort of course.


At 3:59 PM, Blogger Nerites said...

You have got to see it. I cannot wait for YOUR review :D


At 6:44 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Finally got it on Friday!


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