Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: The Goddamned Batman...and Bees.

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Friday, February 29, 2008

The Goddamned Batman...and Bees.


I read the most recent issue of All-Star Batman & Robin. I really can't say that I enjoyed it. I do realize that it is all just a merry jape of Frank Miller's by now. Tearing the characters of the DCU to shreds can indeed be fun. I'm a little surprised by the fact that he's getting PAID to do this, but it isn't my company.

But when you mock Hal Jordan, Mr. Miller, you GO TOO FAR!

Mocking Hal is MY job. And I do it lovingly.

I don't even LIKE Batman that much, and I feel sorry for the actual Batfans after reading what Mr. Miller is putting him through.d But I guess I'm just not "hip" and "with it" enough to revel in the delicious satire or something.

Anyway, Hal goes to try and reason with Batman, but doesn't get anywhere, because the Goddamned Batman has not only painted the entire building a bright yellow, but he's painted himself and Robin as well. Then he sits around and swills lemonade while he makes fun of poor Hal. Brutally.

The Hal loses his temper and yells "Damn you and your lemonade!" and punches the Goddamned Batman, at which point, young Robin jumps Hal and beats him up and then punches him in the jugular. Hal is choking to death, and finally the Goddamned Batman stops laughing his ass off at Robin's adorable antics and they perform a rough amateur tracheotomy.

That's the story. This is Dick Grayson by the way, not Jason Todd. He does seem to be suffering from a SEVERE case of Stockholm Syndrome.

Hal Pictures

Gosh. Doesn't that just make you want to be a Batman and Robin fan?

On the other hand, I'm still squeeeeeing over Blue Beetle. The more that you go back and read it, the more details that you discover. I completely stole this from Scans Daily, and I'm ashamed to say that I didn't immediately get the joke. Now I can't stop snickering.

Blue Beetle

They're BEES! My God!


So here we have in the same week from the same publisher, the very best and what I consider to be just about the worst comics. I know that a lot of people just LOVE ASBAR, but I just can't get over my revulsion at the vile way that Mr. Miller is treating characters that I am fond of. But if you like it, then hey, more power to you.


At 4:00 PM, Blogger ShellyS said...

I stopped reading ASBAR after the third issue. Between the lateness and the just plain awfulness, I couldn't justify spending money on it.

And now that I've read the latest Blue Beetle, I can say, yes, this is DC at its finest. Jaime and his friends and family are the best examples of what it means to be a hero.

At 3:25 AM, Blogger nicodemus88 said...

Haha I read the comic just before going to sleep and I thought must ask sally if she 's still reading it...(and the Teen Titans as BB shwos there?) Well it's not much more funny...it's worse and worse as I am concerned.

Well my problem with it is not the fact Miller tear down DC characters, my problem is that it is just destruction for fun, like a kid shoots some windows glash or burns matches... I can't see an objectif behind this... Satire? humm not a subtle one if it is (or just en excuse)

Grim tales of characters can be cool, but with intent, hell I am still sad that "the twilight of super-heroes " of Alan Moore was not accepted by DC...

I will try to translate a Georges Steiner's quote: "all true criticism is an act of love", well don't see much love in this comics... there was some love in the Moore's twilight, and my god you and Hal, it's pure passion !


At 5:20 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Thank goodness I didn't actully BUY ASBAR. You're right Shelly, it is just plain awful.

I can appreciate some poking of fun. I snickered my way through Preacher and Hitman with glee. But at least there were characters that I could root for. I can't think of a single character of Frank Miller's latest that comes even close to being sympathetic in any way. It is an unpleasant story about equally unpleasant people.


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