Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Oh Wednesday

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Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Oh Wednesday

Great Odin's Raven...it's hot!  So...so very hot.  And muggy.  God, I hate summer. 

But at least it is Wednesday, and at least there are new comics.  And that is a good thing.  At least there will be a few weeks of actual hero comics until this whole Villain thingie, that takes place in August, I believe.  DC really does seem to like its villains. 

I can understand that.  I like villains too...at least some of them.  And DC does seem to have some of the most iconic ones around.  But that doesn't necessarily mean that I want to read about them to the exclusion of the heroes, which quite frankly, I enjoy more.  I mean, my ideal comic is Guy and Kyle and John and Hal and Kilowog hanging out at a bar.  So I am a little bit leery of what is coming our way shortly. 

Marvel has acually made me quietly happy lately, at least with such offerings as Hawkeye, Journey into Mystery, Thor and Young Avengers.  X-Men hasn't been too bad at all either.  I'm staying away from all the Avengers/X-Men mashups though.  And I keep thinking that I really should give Daredevil a looksie.  Still, after all that Skrull/Civil War/Phoenix stuff, I've been a bit gun-shy. 

If I were running DC...!

Oh, how many of us have fantasized about that?  I'd get rid of the whole new 52 Universe, and go back to the regular messy ridiculous glorious convoluted continuity.  I'd bring back my favorite dead people...Ted and Max and Ralph and Sue and Dmitri have just been chilling on Kooey  Kooey Kooey all this time.  All the other unpleasantness were...clones, or cyborgs, or robots or whatever.  I'd bring back Wally and Linda.  I'd bring back Stephanie and Cass and Donna and Garth and Damian and Hawkman and Hawkwoman, and Katma Tui and Mace Gardner.  Superman would be wearing his underwear on the outside again.  Lex would be an evil businessman and mad genius.  The Legion would go back to holding tryouts for their elite little club and then taunting the losers so that hey can have a bunch of new villain origins.  Barbara Gordon would be Oracle again.  She doesn't have to be in a wheelchair however.  Metamorpho would show up occasionally.  Deathstroke would only show up once a year, if that.  Gail Simone's Suicide Squad would be back.  Jaime Reyes as the new Blue Beetle would be back WITH his original cast as they should be! 

Lois would be with Clark.  Marriage wouldn't be a four letter word.  Wonder Woman could hang out with Steve Trevor.  Amanda Waller would be fat.  Etta Candy would be fat.  Chunk would be fat.  Peggy Louise Gardner would also be loud and fat.  Power Girl would only be drawn by Amanda Conner.  Pat Gleason and Ivan Reis and Doug Mahnke would clone themselves and draw all my books, along with Nicola Scott.  All the good writers who have been chased away by DC would come back and actually be able to write their books without some snot-nosed punk editor telling them to kill off  John Stewart.  Guy would be back with Ice.  The JLI would be back...bwahahahahing all over the place.  Ostrander would get a book to write. 

And they would bring back Batman, the Brave and the Bold on television.

That is what I would do. 

What would YOU do? 

8 Comments:

At 1:52 PM, Blogger Jeff McGinley said...

Based on your above statements...what I would do is vote for you to be High Overlord of DC forever, and slap anyone who tried to change things back.

 
At 8:45 PM, Blogger Erin S. said...

I think Villains month takes place in September to celebrate their second years as the DCnU. Yeah I'm not really feeling excited about it. I might get the Ras Al Ghul one to see if it ties into current events and maybe Killer Croc if it has Roy in it.

Some Marvel titles including the ones you mentioned tempt me to give Marvel another chance but I was burned pretty bad.

I would keep things like RHATO the same (except having some Roy/Kori/Dicks' TT years become canon again and the Robins having longer periods in the mantle.) JLI history would go back to the way it was, other characters would exist again, etc. Really my version would mesh the good of both worlds.

 
At 3:40 AM, Blogger Shiraste said...

I would keep several parts of the New 52 actually. There has been some good stuff. (WW, RHatO, Demon Knights etc. I even liked Voodoo after the abysmal initial issues for example)
I like Earth 2 so I'd keep running it as an Elseworld series and bring back the real JSA, too. Some other missing heroes can come back, too.
I'd reduce the number of Bat books and shrink GL related back to titles using Green Lantern in the title.

"Ostrander would get a book to write.
Barbara Gordon would be Oracle again. She doesn't have to be in a wheelchair however.
Amanda Waller would be fat."
This a million times.
I am a guy but what's wrong with plain or even ugly characters? And I don't mean ugly because they are evil. I think no one could accuse the likes of Boodikka or Brik to have been babes but they worked fine the way they were. Right now just about any woman seems to be drawn by a pubescent teenager pencilling his wet dreams.
I prefer Cass over Steph but Barbara was definitely better as Oracle than (recent) Batgirl.
I loved Ostrander's Spectre run, and even though I get a similar vibe from the recent Phantom Stranger he would really bring something to the universe. I would probably put him on a supernatural/magic title.

Oh and I'd put Constantine and Swamp Thing back into Vertigo. The New52 titles aren't bad but they work better in a more adult environment.

 
At 7:50 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Not all of the new 52 Universe has been bad. I love Demon Knights, JLA Dark hasn't been bad, I like the idea of an Earth Two, and other things. But I still don't know why these stories couldn't have been just as easily told in the REAL Continuity.

Damn, I miss Hellblazer too. Although I do hear that we are going to be getting some Neil Gaiman Sandman, which thrills me to my toenails.

You know who else I'd bring back? The entire JSA. Ma Hunkel, Cyclone, Alan, Ted,Jay, Courtney and the rest. I MISS the Justice Society!

 
At 4:39 PM, Blogger Shelly said...

I have two possible scenarios in mind.

In the first, we just forget everything in the new 52 happened and we go back to the old universe and just consider the new 52 an alternate reality we visited for a while.

In the second scenario, which is my preference, we start over with a different new universe, where all the things you mentioned exist, ie Ted and the the Dibneys are still alive, etc. But I, too, would keep RHATO because much as I miss Lian, I don't know how to undo her death and Roy losing his arm without changing too much and I really prefer the new Jason to the old one. So this new universe would be the best of the last two. But I want Babs to be disabled again and to be Oracle and I want Steph back as Batgirl. Those are musts.

And I think we could have both versions of Huntress, Helena Bertinelli in BoP and Helena Wayne hanging out with Power Girl.

 
At 12:15 PM, Blogger SallyP said...

Shelly, that sounds good to me.

 
At 1:42 PM, Blogger SaneN85 said...

Unpopular opinion alert: I would mercilessly and irrevocably kill off Lois Lane.

 
At 11:48 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Awww...but I love Lois!

 

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