Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Green Lantern Annual

Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!

Now with Guy Gardner's Seal of Approval!

Saturday, September 01, 2012

Green Lantern Annual

I had to sit on this one for an extra day or so, and re-read it.  And then re-read it some more.  And by Cracky, I think that Geoff Johns delivers.

Hal has been having something of a bad day.  He gets clobbered by Black Hand,and wakes up in a coffin.  Underground coffin.  Ring out of juice.  You can't blame him for feeling just a wee bit depressed.  But he thinks about Carol, and manages to dig himself out with his bare hands, clawing his way to the surface, where naturally it is raining buckets.  Fortunately for Hal, Black Hand is pretty lazy, so he wasn't buried too deep. 

He was also probably tuckered out from burying Sinestro too.  Hal grabs the shovel and starts to dig Sinestro out, while Black Hand stands around and gloats a bit.  Then he treatens to raise Hal's Father, which isn't a very nice thing to do at all.  For once, Black Hand manages to hit Hal where it really hurts.

Meanwhile, the Guardians are also standing around gloating and plotting more villainy.  They manage to wend their way to a place called the Chamber of Shadows, which happens to be where they imprisoned the First Lantern eons and eons ago.  As they are on their way, Brainwashed Ganthet happens to notice that Black Hand is back, which makes them all confident that they will be able to use him as a weapon. 

Once at their destination, they decide to uncork the bottle so to speak, and behold!  It is full of tiny blue adorable Hobbits!  They seem to be related to the Guardians, but are much much nicer, even though the Guardians shut them up in the Chamber to guard the First Lantern a helluva long time ago.  The poor little blue gnomes seem all happy to see their Brothers and Sisters and happily ask if the Universe has been saved yet? 


The Guardians snarl that things have...changed and for the worse, and by the way,they are here to use the power of the First Lantern.  It turns out that when they first shut him up, they made the NICE Guardians promise to never ever, under any circumstances, allow anyone to use his power.  When the NICE Guardians point this out, the EVIL Guardians brush them off, and say that circumstances have changed, and to get the hell out of the way.


Back in the Coast City graveyard, Black Hand is doing his darndest to raise Martin Jordan From The Grave, except that he isn't cooperating.  So Hal gets some gumption and starts flailing on Black Hand, who decides that he might just kill him after all, when he gets stabbed in the back of the neck with the shovel by none other than Sinestro, who hadn't been just lying around in HIS coffin, but digging his way out as well.  He and Hal have a little bit of their usual banter, then figure out how to summon his Green Lantern battery, and they smack rings together and Charge Up!  Woohoo!

I do have to say that Evan Van Sciver's artwork is just a pleasure to behold.  I love Doug Mahnke, make no mistake, but it is a joy to see Van Sciver, he's been gone too long, and he has such a way with Green Lanterns!

Back in the Chamber, the NICE Guardians are fighting the EVIL Guardians, who manage to stab the head NICE Guardian in the throat.  Sheesh! This cracks open the prison of the First Lantern, who needless to say isn't happy at all and starts yelling "LET ME OUT!"  Just like all of the rings have been doing lately.  Including Black Hand's ring!  And Hal and Sinestro's rings.

The EVIL Guardians fly off with the First Lantern, leaving the poor NICE Guardians to wonder what the heck just happened, and what corruption festers within their former brethren.  It was rather nasty of the EVIL Guardians to seal the NICE Guardians back in the prison, even though they took the First Lantern and there is nothing to guard anymore.  Nothing like rubbing a little salt into the wound, eh Guardians?

As the EVIL Guardians fly off, they just happen to notice that Hal and Sinestro are fighting Black Hand, so they show up, supercharge Black Hand, and it all hits the proverbial fan.

Believe it or not, Hal and Sinestro are actually dying, but they are still keeping their heads, and manage to recombine their rings, and find a new Lantern, and leave a message.   There is an "error" and then the ring leaves to scan for a new replacement, in a rather beautiful green glow.  The EVIL Guardians are all standing around patting themeselves on the back, and decide to use Black Hand for their own evil purposes.  Then they gloat a bit over Hal and Sinestro's deaths, and what they are planning to do to the REST of the Universe.  Guy and the Corps is next, followed by Kyle and the rest of the emotional corps

Finally, in the epilogue, they all gather together in the graveyard, and start siphoning off power from the First Lantern, who really really doesn't want to cooperate.  They leech white light of off him, and their own skin starts to bubble and then coalesce into their first member of the Third Army, and believe  you me, it is creepy as hell.  One of the Guardians even says..."It's Alive!" in his best Doctor Frankenstein kind of voice.  Some poor schlub of a guard wanders by, and the new Third Army Lantern grabs him, and rips his heart out and turns him into the second new Lantern. 

Oh just great. 


Now we know where things are going to be going.  The Guardians have descended into more than common villainy, they are possibly the greatest villains of all, as they proceed with their quest to wipe out free Will throughout the Universe, by turning every living thing into a Zombie, more or less.   Probably more.

The stakes have been risen!


At 4:52 PM, Blogger CalvinPitt said...

Are the little blue dopes under an outside influence, or are they just morons?

Were they somehow affected by Barry Allen changing everything? I know they've been wandering down the Big Jerks path for awhile, but they appear to have gone out of their gourds.

At 9:58 AM, Blogger Lantern Kiaori said...

I just can't believe what has happened. The Guardians have finally loose it, so sad. What is it gonna be from now? Guy's gonna have a hard time, as they said in GL 12 .

At 4:30 PM, Blogger SallyP said...

I'm getting the impression that they're being influenced by some other force. I mean, they've always been a bit on the pompous side, but never out and out villains. I wouldn't be surprised a bit if Parallax had something to do with it, since I believe he's acually on the loose.

But boy, they just ain't right.

At 5:21 PM, Blogger CalvinPitt said...

Parallax is loose?! That certainly seems like something people should be concerned about.

At 7:20 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

I'm pretty sure that ALL of the various emotional entities are on the loose!

At 3:29 AM, Blogger Flodo Span said...

I think that being posessed by the entities in War of the Lanterns is what drove the Guardians mad. THey haven't been the same since!


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