Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: The One you've been waiting for...Guy vs Hal

Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!

Now with Guy Gardner's Seal of Approval!

Friday, April 03, 2009

The One you've been waiting for...Guy vs Hal

Here we are, still deep in the throes of "Glorify Guy Week", and I still hadn't gotten to Hal. Because there is no way to tell the story of Guy Gardner without Hal. Hal was in so many many ways, the catalyst to so much of Guy's story, his friend, his enemy, his brother, his antagonist and secret crush.

Guy pictures

Yeah, that's Guy, mooning away in the bus, and hoping to meet up with Hal again. Then of course, there is the earthquake, getting hit by the bus, falling off the cliff and being rescued by Hal.

Guy pictures

Kalinara has theorized rather brilliantly, that in the beginning, Guy was created mainly to be rescued by Hal. He even got fridged a short time later, being blown up by Hal's own battery, and getting tortured by Sinestro and going into that coma. Hal did have the decency to be upset for a while, before running off with Guy's fiance. He even dumped Kari after they realized that Guy wasn't actually...you know...dead.

Then the Guardians had the brilliant idea of waking Guy up,and using him to fight the Anti-Monitor. And Hal went from being Guy's bestest buddy, to being his archrival. Heck, Guy even tried to half-heartedly off Hal a couple of times, before settling into being his annoying, needling, persistantly bratty little brother.

Guy pictures

Giving credit where credit is due, Guy did manage to annoy John as well. But Hal was always his favorite target. Hal didn't handle things too well either. Guy had the excuse of being brain-damaged for acting like an eight-year old boy, but Hal didn't have that excuse. Nevertheless, Hal's behavior was occasionally just as immature. In his defense, it must be said that Guy was incredibly obnoxious.

So, as you might expect there have been a LOT of occasions with Hal and Guy beating each other up.

Guy pictures

Guy pictures

But there was NOTHING like the donnybrook that was in Green Lantern #25. It was THE classic clash of titans, with Hal coming back to Earth, bound and determined that HE was going to take over as GL, and that Guy would just have to lump it. Guy of course had other ideas, and told Hal to take a hike. This worked out about as well as you would think, and naturally, things began to...escalate. It was Guy of course who took things to the next level, by challenging Hal to a winner-take-all tussle, which in retrospect may not have been the smartest thing for him to do, but heck, his pride was hurt. Besides, Hal was monumentally arrogant in his demands.

Things started out fairly slow, but goshdarned if Guy wasn't getting inventive.

Hal Pictures

Hal Pictures

Heh. I've heard the term "crotch rocket" I just didn't know that Guy invented it. At this point John makes them give up their rings before they end up levelling the city, and Hal manages to knock Guy down.

Guy pictures

Guy pictures

Woohoo! Git 'em Guy!

As you have no doubt discerned, my sympathy is completely with Guy in this encounter. Hal had no right to come waltzing in and telling Guy that he was taking over, and the only thing that keeps me from slapping Hal right in his pretty face, is that he was being influenced by Parallax at this point.

Guy is giving Hal everything that he's got, but Hal is playing "rope-a-dope" and cons poor Guy into wearing himself out. And finally, when the only thing that is keeping Guy on his feet is sheer stubbornness, Hal let's him have it.

Guy pictures

And man, that was all she wrote.

Not content with simply beating Guy half to death, Hal then decides to give the knife a particularly vicious twist.

Guy pictures

Does Guy renege? Does he cry or whine or beg? Not Guy Gardner.

Guy pictures

Contrast that to the times that Hal pissed and moaned to the Guardians about wanting to do something, and then pissed and moaned some more when he got it. Bruised, battered and brain-dead, Guy Gardner is STILL the better man.

Fortunately, they brought back Hal in Rebirth, and they are friends again. But there is ONE punch that Hal threw that had Guy's complete and utter approval.

Guy pictures

Oh yeah.


At 10:37 AM, Blogger CalvinPitt said...

I really have to give Guy credit. He hated to do it, but he swallowed his pride and handed that ring over like he promised. Didn't all his teammates (except Ice) start celebrating right after, because it meant Guy was off the team? Idiots, like having to deal with Hal Jordan daily would be a picnic.

Do you think Hal uses "possessed by Parallax" as an excuse for stuff that really was his fault? Like, "John, you remember that time we went drinking at that roadside bar, and I got us in trouble with those bikers for hitting on their ladies, then you had to help me fight them, then I left through the bathroom window so you had to pay our tab, and pay for the damage? Yeah, I remember. Well, uh, that was Parallax, he made me do it. Really. Uh-huh."

As you might be able to tell, even punching Batman can't improve my opinion of Hal. I'd really rather see Guy punch Bats. Or Kyle. Yeah, Kyle's probably too nice, but that's what would make it cool, because it would mean Bats had been such an insensitive dick about something that Kyle snapped. Just for a moment, he could feel bad about it later if he wanted.

OK, I'm gonna stop thinking about Green Lanterns punching Batman now. It's too distracting.

At 11:26 AM, Blogger The one letter wonder said...

Great post, I've been thinking for a while about all the dickhead moves Hal has pulled on Guy,like introducing himself to Guy after learning about how Guy Abin Sur's second choice or at the beginning of the JLI run where he goes to talk to MAxwell Lord about having Guy on the team. It seems that Hal just likes to screw with Guy for some reason and I think your post showed ample examples of this :)

At 5:45 PM, Blogger SallyP said...

In Hal's defense, Guy WAS incredibly annoying. In Guy's defense, Hal definitely deserved it. Occasionally Hal actually remembered that it wasn't really Guy's fault that he was the way that he was, but those times were few and far between.

On the other hand, every Lanterns should have a chance at punching Batman. I'll bet that Guy used to have Bat-pinatas at Warriors.

At 6:29 PM, Blogger notintheface said...

Hal's dickishness in GL#25 made the psychic smackdown Hal received a few months later at the hands of John Stewart in Green Lantern: Mosaic#5 all the sweeter. Not that GL:Mosaic#5 wasn't already awesome by itself.

At 7:40 PM, Blogger SallyP said...

It WAS sweet, wasn't it? Gosh, I do miss Mosaic, that was a seriously fabulous book.


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