Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Apokolips is not a Vacation Spot

Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!

Now with Guy Gardner's Seal of Approval!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Apokolips is not a Vacation Spot

Ok! Lobo is now an official member of the JLI! Meanwhile Barda, J'onn, Dmitri and G'nort are STILL looking for Scott. Unfortunately for him, he's just been sold to Darkseid by Manga Khan! Barda and the others have managed to track him to Apokolips, but things aren't going too well.

Back on Earth, Lobo is fitting in remarkably well, all things considered. He hasn't eviscerated anybody yet, and for him, that's quite genteel behavior. He and Guy are even having an arm-wrestling contest, or as I like to think of it...Quien es mas macho? I know, I know, I'm supposed to invert the question mark at the beginning of the phrase, but I don't know how. Sorry.

For some reason, Hawkman is in a REALLY pissy mood. He keeps stomping around telling them that they are a bunch of losers, and even Beetle is getting a little fed up. Hawkgirl keeps apologizing for him, but it isn't really working. Then BANG! Barda shows up with her handy Mega-Rod, and booms them all off to Apokolips...with the exception of Capt. Atom, who wanders into the room just a little too late.

Needless to say, they are all a wee bit surprised.

Hawkman is STILL whining, but Lobo actually has a few answers for the rest of them. From here on out, it is one huge running battle, with the League fighting parademons, and Lobo going after Barda. Oberon falls into a manhole, and ends up face to face with none other than Darkseid, who is sitting in an armchair indulging in a little light reading. (I swear it's Mein Kampf. Darkseid has interesting tastes in literature).

Of course Scott Free manages to escape...that is his schtick afterall. Lobo and Barda have a nice knock-down, drag-out fight, and Barda finally manages to tell the rest of the League that Lobo is ACTUALLY trying to kill all of them. Batman is wandering around asking people to tell him what is going on, while Beetle fills him in as best he can, which leads to the best phrase in the book. Bats asks for suggestions, and Beetle looks up and yells

"...Yeah, follow the Super-Hero's credo...when in doubt...FIGHT!!"

And of course they do.

Then Darkseid and Oberon show up.

Darkseid tells them that they are all being childish, and must leave Apokalips...NOW! He gives back Scott, and telepathically, Manga Khan tells Lobo that he's fired. Basically they are all standing around with their mouths open, when Darkseid BOOMS them right back to Earth.
They all end up in a great pile in the rec room of the embassy, looking and feeling quite sheepish. Oberon can't get over the fact that Darkseid really is a pretty stand-up kind of guy...and he gave him a nice lunch to boot.

Poor Capt. Atom wanders in at this point, still bewildered about where they all went before, and they all blow him off and refuse to discuss it. Even J'onn decides he's had enough, and if they want him, they can find him in the Oreo aisle at the local 7-11.

This is a characterization of Darkseid that I can enjoy!


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