Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: A Little More Bat-Dickery

Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!

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Saturday, May 26, 2007

A Little More Bat-Dickery

I really shouldn't be picking on Batman so much...except that it is so much fun! No, seriously, they've been making a concentrated effort lately to present him as being a little more human, and a little less of a back-stabbing, paranoid, neurotic, vengeful, suspicious jerk. And that's a GOOD thing.

Now, I can sort of understand his total need for control over everyone and everything. After all, his parents are DEAD! So, that can kind of excuse his making plans to take down his friends and comrades, creating OMAC, and a few other things.

BUT...I can't quite understand his weird fetish about beating up animals. Chris Sims has portrayed him kicking wolves in the face over at ISB, and Bully, over at "Bully says Comics Oughta be Good" has some lovely scans of him breaking the neck of a leopard, and taunting a bull. Is this just some sort of fetish with ol' Bats? Did he kick puppies as a child?

I just really can't explain this one.

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Now, exactly how does he KNOW that smacking a Rhino on the nose will subdue it? Does he go to the Zoo at night and practice? Go on safari perhaps? Or is this just one of those odd little esoteric pieces of information that a clever man might come across in his travels? Once he subdues it, what the heck is he going to do with it? Bring it home? The Cave is already full to the bursting with bat guano, I don't imagine that Rhinopoop is going to sweeten the atmosphere much. While I am sure that Purina does indeed sell Rhinochow, Alred might object to the care and feeding of such a large quadroped.

And then there is this...


I guess Robin just told him that his job description doesn't call for the care and feeding of Rhinocerousessssss. Hope he has Dental.


At 11:07 AM, Blogger Ami Angelwings said...

No wonder Robin quit and became Nightwing! XD

This is from the recent Detective comics :) It seems that Batman's gotten nicer about fighting animals :)

At 6:44 PM, Blogger Bully said...

Whoa, I think between all of us we could totally put together a blog of Batman's inhumanity to non-humans.

Hiding in the shadows the wolves' cub watches with wide eyes, horrified. Later that night, as a hawk flies into his lonely cave, he vows to avenge his parents' death: to become a creature of the night, to strike back at the cowardly and superstitious as he becomes...


At 10:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope Robin can remember the safety word.

At 12:08 PM, Blogger SallyP said...

Ami, he STILL broke the wolf's neck...but now he's sorry about it.

Bully, I would SO buy and read about Hawkwolf!

At 8:15 PM, Blogger rachelle said...

Batman is a totally nice guy now. He went in that cave in Nanda Parbat and came out all lovely. Now he hugs kittens.

And he hardly ever beats Robin anymore.

At 2:33 PM, Blogger SallyP said...

He'd BETTER not beat up Robin if he knows what's good for him! Tim Drake is a scary little dude!


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