Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Boys, Just Lighten Up

Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!

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Sunday, November 28, 2010

Boys, Just Lighten Up

Well, I'm still obviously in a cranky mood. Make of that, what you will, but I'm getting a little fed up with all the boys crying at the Airport. I use the term "Boys" with full malice, because REAL men, don't launch into hysteria over the concept of a tired overworked Airport Security detail accidentally touching their "Junk" during a patdown. Or, as Gina Barreca just put it, in a scathing and hysterically funny article in this Sunday's Hartford Courant..."Boys, don't get your panties in a twist".

The gist of her article was that most of the screaming is coming from the male gender. Women have had to put up with this sort of thing for a LONG time. And I couldn't help but think back to all of the hysteria expressed by certain Male Comic Book Readers whenever Alex Ross happens to portray realistic male genitalia in a painting of a superhero.

What IS it with guys and their organs? It's perfectly ok to reduce a woman to her intimate parts, to ogle them and pat them and portray them endlessly on cover after cover. If a woman should happen to mildly protest this treatment, she is immediately subjected to the "Get over it!" defense, and the shrill demand to not take away their godgiven right to drool over enormous bosoms.

But somehow, the hint...the mere hint of an inadvertent touch, or glance, or god forbid, the sight of a male bulge in a comic book, and they go to pieces. It's almost...feminine, the way that they have the vapours.

Except that I'm not laughing. I'm just tired, and a little crabby. Fortunately, I'm not aiming this tirade at any of MY male readers. Obviously you guys are all secure with your manhood, or you wouldn't be reading a blog about Green Lantern asses. But still...could we all just relax a little bit? And you pundits out there at Fox, an CSN, and MSBC and all those other 24-hour news places, just knock it OFF already! You people are like two-year olds, who have just discoverd how to talk and can't stop yapping about how fabulous your bowel movements are. We do not need to know about every thought that comes into your teensy tiny brains. And that goes for Sarah Palin too. For someone who hates the media, she sure seems to need a lot of it.

So let's all take a deep breath, and chill out a bit. Otherwise, you'll look like THIS at the airport...and trust me, nobody wants to see it.

gil kane hal

Hal is SUCH a prima donna sometimes.


At 10:02 AM, Blogger ShellyS said...


Although there is some concern about the radiation in the scanners. And some of the patdowns have been more uh, intrusive than they need to be.

But yeah, guys can be such babies. Maybe if we women gave their privates more pats in public, they'd adjust to the concept of being touched while dressed.

At 10:10 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Babies indeed. I find it amusing that after all the shrieking going on in the media, the actual Thanksgiving travel was pretty calm, without a bunch of men running around and crying about their rights being violated.


At 1:25 PM, Blogger CalvinPitt said...

Is Hal turning into a werewolf? He's looking unusually hairy. Perhaps he was bitten by G'Nort.

As far as the airport thing, I haven't had to fly since they instituted these new rules, and I'm not particularly looking forward to it, but I'm not crazy enough to think making a stink is going to make it a better experience.

At 3:51 PM, Blogger SallyP said...

Hal IS looking a little more hirsute than normal.

I haven't been on a plane in quite a while either, and I do loathe flying, but somehow throwing a hissy fit in the terminal is probably not going to do much to help matters. I applaud your calm.

At 4:50 PM, Blogger Your Obedient Serpent said...

Oh, Sally. Crankiness is evidently contagious, because you've just pushed one of my buttons.

Y'know, I don't pay much attention to the "news" on television, but here in the Intertubes, I'm not hearing "boys" launching into "hysteria"* about errant hands accidentally brushing against their Happy Little Friends.

I'm reading about people with colostomy bags being told that their medical conditions aren't the TSA's problem as inept clods manage to soak the poor bastards in their own urine. I'm hearing about prosthetic legs getting confiscated, and mothers being separated from their children, and sexual abuse victims getting forced to choose between one set of flashback triggers (naked pictures) or another (inappropriate groping).

I am reading about egregious violations of the Fourth Amendment, and I have been reading about them for years now. It just gets worse and worse. If it's finally gotten bad enough that it's actually getting some attention from the world at large, my reaction isn't "man up and bend over like everyone else has been".

Yeah, maybe more of my fellow White Males should have spoken up a long time ago.

But a lot of us Pissed Off White Guys have been speaking up for a long time now, and if we're finally crossing that Hundred Monkey Threshold and getting the rest of the troop to screech and throw poop, this is not the time to tell us to Calm Down.

*Interesting choice of words, BTW, since "hysteria" was coined to dismiss the legitimate complaints of women as irrational outbursts.

At 8:45 AM, Blogger notintheface said...

A lot of the "shrieking" is coming from righties like Limbaugh who use it to gin up fake outrage Obama while conveniently forgetting (or hoping WE'LL forget) that this whole TSA mess started spiralling out of control on their boy Bush's watch. In fact, if these new procedures WERE put in place during Bush's tenure, Rushbo and the rest would probably be telling us how they were for the good of our country.

However, this IS a legitimate issue, not just "boys whining". The problem is that it's just more "Security Theater", increasing infringements designed to project the illusion of increased safety when it doesn't exist. The problem is that it never stops, and often new threats seem to be used as an excuse to broaden the scope of the intrusions. More money gets thrown at the "Theater" instead of, say, using it to improve the intelligence investigations that prevent threats from becoming reality, thereby ACTUALLY increasing our safety.

I don't do much air travel and can handle the patdown (having had proctology exams in the past makes a patdown seem like a cakewalk in terms of invasiveness). But I STILL find this a disturbing trend that shows no sign of reversing unless people stand up and demand a better way.

And by the way, ladies, if standing up for civil liberties is considered "babyish" and sitting there and taking it is considered "manly", then all I can say is "Ga,ga, goo goo!"

At 12:14 PM, Blogger SallyP said...

Serpent, I am sorry if I offended you, believe me, no such action was intended. Nor do I mean to belittle the genuinely terrible experiences that you cited. But these are not the instances that seem to be getting the press, or at least I am unfamiliar with any of these examples. If the media WAS using some of these experiences, I believe that the outrage would be justified.

But the main news seems to be the manly indignation of the fellows who object to being patted down, because of an inadvertent touch theeir boy parts. I found this to be a little ridiculous, especially when you compare it to the shrieks that erupt amongst the fanboys whenever male genitalia is realistically portrayed.

It's an odd thing really. Guys seem so obsessed with their parts, and yet so terrified that someone might notice. Most women I know don't go around naming their orgqans for example.

Yes, I'm tired of all the invasiveness, and the increased security at the airports and each new attack on our civil liberties. On the other hand, I do not wish to be blown up.

At 11:26 AM, Blogger Your Obedient Serpent said...

I'll be the first to admit that a lot of the current hoopla is pretty much, well, "PLEASE STOP HELPING". Nothing can defuse legitimate civil liberty grievances than having them suddenly come to the attention of the Glenn Becks of the world, who will have hissy fits about them for all the wrong reasons.

Check out the "CivLib" tags on http://boingboing.net for specific examples of the stuff I mentioned above; they've been very good about aggregating these stories.

At 7:11 PM, Blogger SallyP said...

Well, THESE stories make a far far better case for the invasiveness of the searches. Apparently they aren't sexy enough, I guess.


The whole thing is just a mess.

At 1:12 PM, Blogger Dwayne "the canoe guy" said...

It makes you want to ride the bus....oh, wait. Now ya can't do THAT either!


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