Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Green Lantern Corps #7: a Review

Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!

Now with Guy Gardner's Seal of Approval!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Green Lantern Corps #7: a Review

Guy pictures
Now THIS is one hell of a book! First off, that is an AMAZING cover, by Mr. Gleason, and colored by the ineffable Moose Baumann. The use of white can sometimes be tricky, but they have certainly pulled it off here. The pristene snow contrasts so nicely with all the blood, the bug...worm thingie...critter is suitably awful, and I love how the snow is covering Guy's eyes...it's so creepy!

Moving right along, the art grabs you by the throat and never lets go. We start with a slow pan away from what a black spot on red, back and back to the forehead of a Dominator, complete with his very...large...teeth. They've found something, and it can be pretty nasty, so of course they are delighted.

Next, we go to a tiny spot of white on a green background, and do the same cinematic pull-back, and it is a snowflake on the Lantern emblem on Guy's jacket...again, remarkably effective.

Guy and a fairly new recruit named R'amey Holl have been sent by the Guardians to the ice planet of Corona Seven. R'amey is from the planet Papilliox, which is appropriate since she has these cool butterfly wings. Guy's coasting along on his back, arms behind his head, which I love because it is SUCH a Guy thing and babbling away...mainly to himself, since she is not paying any attention at all. They've been sent to find someone named Von Daggle and deliver a message. Guy starts to give
R'amey the old Gardner pep talk about how to be a REAL Lantern, when she grabs him and points out that although she may be fairly new to the Corps, on her planet she was a veteran cop, and therefore, no novice. She then flies off to where they spotted some smoke, leaving Guy floating and grinning to himself.
"Heh. I think my nipples just got hard."

Haw! I'm not sure exactly why, but this just cracks me up. Especially with the evil grin on his face.

Anyhoo, they fly down below the surface, and split up to look for Von Daggle, and within a minute or two, their quarry has already taken out R'amey. Von Daggle is a Durlan, with shape-shifting powers. He tells Guy that he's not interested in anything that the Guardians have to say. Guy stays fairly calm through this exchange, essentially saying that if Von Daggle has a beef with the Guardians, it's no skin off HIS nose, but that taking out the messenger (R'amey) is indeed a problem. He tells him that he has three seconds to back off, counting down from Three...Two...POW!...One. Double Haw!

Von Daggle shape-shifts into a monster, but Guy isn't intimidated, when suddenly he changes into what appears to be a virus or bacteria which Guy inhales...chokes...and keels over. Von Daggle then turns into the worm thingie from the cover and comes out Guy's ear. Eeeeuuuuwwwww!

Now we flash back to the Dominators and how they are going to be using Khunds as their guinea pigs in adapting their weapon. It's pretty gross, but well done.

Sooooo...back to Guy, who wakes up back out in the snow, tied up with R'amey next to him, half buried in a drift. No rings, and they are just about half-frozen to death. She's not used to the cold and is having a lot of trouble, so Guy decides it is tough love time and gives a remarkable and inspirational speech. Mainly that being a Lantern is tough and hard, and if she couldn't hack it, she should have stayed back on butterfly world. He even gives her a good smek...but unlike Hal and Arisia, there isn't anything sexual about it, he's trying to wake her up. Suddenly her wings flare out, and she manages to pick him up and fly the two of them back to the vent where it is warmer. The look on Guy's face is just priceless, he's grinning ear-to-ear and yelling "THAT'S what I'm talking' about!" and acknowledging that he couldn't have done it without her.

They make it into the vent, and unfortunately crash land. Guy decides that whoever said any landing you can walk away from is a good one deserves to be kicked in the ass. He leaves R'amey to recover and goes looking for Von Daggle, whom he whacks on the back of the head, although he gives him plenty of warning, because that's how he rolls. Heh.

Unfortunately, he REALLY just clocked poor R'amey, who had been dressed up to look like Von Daggle. Von Daggle had taken her place out in the snow with Guy, to see if he had what it takes. He and Guy do a little macho posturing and then he gives Guy their rings back so that Guy can see the message that the Guardians had sent.

Here's where it really starts to get good. The image of a female Guardian appears:
"Von Daggle. For years, you and your men secretely worked in the shadows
of the universe. You served Oa loyally without fear or hesitation, no
matter how dark the task. The Corps has been rebordn. Once more you
are called back into service. The Dominators have taken possession of
an ancient artifact. Their minds are too small to understand the true
nature of its power. They see only a weapon. In fact, it shall prove
to be the end of their world. Billions of lives will be lost. The
Dominators serve a valuable role in this universe. They must be saved,
even from themselves. I give you these two corpsmen, Guy Gardner of
Earth, and R'amey Holl of Papilliox to aid you. They are the first
recruits supplied to rebuild your division. Go to the Dominion home
world and take possession of the artifact. Von Daggle, much time has
passed. You may no longer be willing to shoulder your responsibilities,
to fulfill the OATH you once took. Of this, I can only say; help us
again, and we will help YOU. We know where SHE is. Failure is not and

Whoa! A little intimidation, a little blackmail, a little volunteering two totally unaware corpsmen...Guardians don't mess around! There's total silence after Guy and R'amey see the message, with a really beautiful shot of Guy, all dark shadowing and a remarkably grim expression on his face.

He and R'amey then go and find Von Daggle who has apparently decided to go along with the Guardians "request". Basically he really has no other choice. They have to go in under deep cover so they have to ditch the uniforms and rings, instead they can swallow these little green disks, which work like the rings, but from the
inside, with about 5 days worth of a charge. Poor Guy is still looking for some answers, and who can blame him. Von Daggle cuts him short, and says that they've just been inducted into the "coldest, hardest, MEANEST division of the Green Lantern Corps". They do the jobs too dirty for the rest of the Lanterns. In a clever twist, it is a repitition of the speech that Guy thought he was giving to R'amey when they were stuck in the blizzard.

Von Daggle welcomes them to the "Corpse", and there is the cliff-hanger. Gah!
I want more, and I want it now! Danger, adventure, skullduggery...this is a fabulous story. Mr. Champagne GETS Guy Gardner, and I love his portrayal. I can hardly wait to see how this all plays out.


At 9:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey there, just happened across your blog, and wanted to say thanks!
Its so cool to find people talking about something I did that they liked.
made my day...

At 7:59 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

No, thank YOU for such a delight.

At 10:23 AM, Blogger Bully said...

Hmmm, apparently "Daggle" is the Durlan equivalent of "Jones"?

At 7:01 PM, Blogger keith champagne said...

So glad you enjoyed this issue. Us Connecticut residents and Guy Gardner fans have to stick together!

Just wait 'til #8!

At 6:52 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Oh, but having to wait is sooooo hard!

And it is lovely to meet someone else from Connecticut! Now if it would just snow.

At 11:05 AM, Anonymous Cheap Viagra said...

This is one of the greatest episodes, because it's entertained bloody, and not repetitive. In short a version out of this world.


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