Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Slightly Incoherent Ramblings

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Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Slightly Incoherent Ramblings

Firstly, I promise to actually READ what I am writing today, instead of just posting it, willy-nilly. Yesturday's was something of an embarrassment, and I humbly apologize.

So...we were sitting around last evening, gathered around the fire, and the subject of technology and cell phones came up in the conversation. Let it be known, that I do not own a cell phone. I have no desire to own a cell phone. I can see the use of a cell phone if I am broken down on the side of the road, or if I cannot remember what type of cereal to get at the grocery store, but otherwise, its charms are lost upon me. I am somewhat of a luddite when it comes to technology anyway, and frankly it is a miracle that I have managed to figure out how to bang out these very words that are holding you transfixed in wonder.

But anyway...there is nothing wrong with cell phones really. They are handy, small and come in pretty colors. I could wish that people did not see fit to use them during weddings, funerals and graduations and such, but there are clods everywhere. What I do NOT understand however, is the concept of "texting". You have to write out your message, by tapping frantically on a tiny hand-held device, and then wait for the recipient to read your urgent urgent message and then reply to you.

My question is, how exactly is this progress? It sounds remarkably like a telegraph to me. With a telephone, you can pick it up, dial a number and then TALK to a real person at the other end. You don't have to write things out, and try to abbreviate words and phrases. You can actually TALK to them. Texting is really one one step removed from sending a carrier pigeon for heaven's sake. Why is it progress, to make communicating MORE difficult?

Maybe I'm just too old and cranky. My Grandmother managed to communicate with her entire coterie by simply folding a corner of her calling cards in various ways, and leaving them at their doors. Her friends were able to decipher that she was leaving town, but coming back on Monday, or that the party was cancelled and she was devastated...all without saying a word. Of course, she used to put on a hat and gloves just to go out and get the mail. Frankly, I think that delivering our messages the old-fashioned way...by footmen is the way to go.


At 11:25 AM, Blogger FoldedSoup said...

*Pffft* Kids today...

Didja know some of them actually try texting while driving?!? Sheesh!

I mean, how could you possibly pour a decent Old Fashioned while doing that?

At 12:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Being one of the "kids today" I usually use text messages in class or meetings. Basically anywhere you shouldn't be on the phone because something else more important is going on and you're supposed to be paying attention to it.

At 5:19 PM, Blogger Nate said...

Sally, if you don't get a cell phone, we'll never be able to have a torrid affair.

At 5:26 PM, Blogger Stephen said...

texting is genius. you can deliver a quick message to someone without the pleasantyr and bs of regular conversation.

At 7:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used to swear I would never own a cell phone - until someone gave me the World's Kewlest B-Day Presents (TM):

(1) a cell phone

(2) a hip flask that looks exactly like the cell phone.

Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to deal with the "Uh...why are you slurping on your phone's antenna?" questions yet. :-P

At 6:10 AM, Blogger Nick said...


I thought I was insane for thinking the concept of texting ridiculous.

I have had to do it once or twice and every time after I say to myself, man that was 3 or 4 minutes of my life I am never gonna get back.

If they are gonna start bringing tech out that sends us backward....can we start the art of letter writing again.

Seriously, who here doesn't love a handwritten letter from a friend in the mail.

At 7:06 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

It is a little difficult to tie up your text messages in a blue ribbon and read them tenderly and surreptitiously, which is why I am ALL for letters.

Please remember that Gyuss! Torrid, you say? (flutters eyelashes)

Soup, you have a very valid point. It's hard enough to be putting on your makeup, drinking your coffee and reading the newspaper, without adding texting while driving into the mix.

You kids put those damn phones away and pay attention! Whippersnappers!

At 8:29 AM, Blogger Dwayne "the canoe guy" said...

Once on Leno they had two kids texting vs. two old guys using Morse code over a telegraph. The old guys smoked them

I just got a new cell phone and when I text a message a small compartment opens up and a teeny tiny carrier pigeon takes off, clutching my message, transcribed by an even teensier elf, in its tiny claws.

Now THAT is tech I can get behind.

And then a robo-hawk ate my carrier pigeon, so I just called the person.

At 9:23 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Dwayne, the thought of a tiny carrier pigeon delights me. AND the fact that a telegraph is actually MORE efficient than texting.

ROTFL is NOT A WORD! Of course, neither is "Wellness", but that's a whole 'nother can of worms.


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