Dear DC Comics
Several years ago, I penned an imaginary "Dear John" letter to Marvel Comics, lamenting our breakup, since I had been stepping out with DC. The "Civil War" crossover was the coup de grace as it were. It was an unpleasant crossover, filled with unpleasant people.
So imagine my distress, at being in exactly the same damn situation, only this time it is DC that has become distressingly depressing, and Marvel who is winking and smiling at me from across the room. DC just wants to keep doing the same thing over and over and over and over, and it keeps getting more extreme and horrid, each time. How many times can I watch a man get his arm torn off? Really, it isn't even startling any more, in fact, it has almost been reduced to a Drinking Game. DC Hero gets arm torn off, take a swig of your beer.
Marvel on the other hand, keeps flirting with me. Bringing out books like She-Hulk, and Hawkeye, and Young Avengers, and Loki: Agent of Asgard, and the new Ms Marvel and Thor, are a heck of an enticement. Hell, even their movies are good.
So I am feeling a bit torn. I love DC Characters, really I do, I just wish that I could actually read stories about them. I will NOT be buying the new weekly series, the whole Future Doomsday, Time-Travel, Let's See How Many Heroes We Can Kill Crossover. I don't like Brother Eye. I have NEVER liked Brother Eye. Seeing my favorite or even not so favorite characters be horribly murdered, or zombie-fied, or whatever the hell is going on, is trite...and boring. It has been done to death MANY times over. Seriously, plundering various tropes from other books and movies and even your own comics is the best that DC can do?
Here's a thought. Howabout, we go back to the REAL DC Universe, and start using all those wonderful characters that have fallen by the wayside, and tell stories about them. Taking their names and using them for completely different people in the new Universe, just doesn't do it for me. It's like your Uncle showing up with his new wife, who has the same name as his old wife, but she's meaner...and uglier. And can't cook, and gets into the liquor cabinet.
So come on DC...I'm ready to be wooed.