Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Mary Worth has gone to the Bad

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Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Mary Worth has gone to the Bad

Strange things have been happening in the ranks of Newspaper comics lately, my friends...STRANGE things. Firstly, I have to commend Folded Soup on his post, over at "the Want List", with an oddly transfigured Garfield. It's HILARIOUS!

But then I started thinking. Have the Skrulls invaded the newspaper comics as well? I'm pretty sure that Anthony from "For Better or for Worse" is a Skrull. Possibly Liz as well. But the one that has REALLY caught my attention is Mary Worth.

She's been behaving...oddly.

It was bad enough when she drove Captain Kangaroo to his untimely death a few months back. If anybody could drive a man to suicide, I would imagine it would be Mary Worth. Man, that is one aggravating woman! But now, seduced by the white-haired allure of a sleezy politician, she has turned her back upon her long-suffering boyfriend, Doctor Jeff. She'd rather go out and have dinner with this new guy...and this is AFTER she quietly smothered his mother in the hospital! Well...actually, I made that last part up, but I wouldn't put it past her.

All poor Dr. Jeff does is question whether or not she should be giving so much "advice" to the newly bereaved son. Mary gets quite miffed. Nosy old buttinsky that she is, she HATES it, when people actually notice that she's a nosy old buttinsky. She goes out and has dinner and gets photographed with this Town Council Member, or whatever it is that he is, and when Jeff is understandably a little irked, she starts having hysterics all over him. He even calls her up to apologize, but she just sits there, with a smirk on her face, as he pours his heart out to her over the phone. This is all after she managed to convince his son to go and help people in Vietnam or something, in order to get over HIS broken heart.

The woman is a menace.

I can hardly bear to see what she's done today.

But if she is a Skrull, then the whole thing can be easily explained. Because even the Skrull army knows that setting the REAL Mary Worth against them is a fate too horrible to be contemplated.
This woman makes Maria Hill look like an amateur. She makes Tony Stark look like a kindergardener. She could drive Captain America to tears, for God's sake!

Maybe I should stick to reading Blondie.


At 2:03 PM, Blogger Dwayne "the canoe guy" said...

if you read Blondie, be sure to brush up on your Cherokee

At 6:52 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

The nice thing about Blondie, is that there are only a couple of jokes. Dagwood makes a sandwich, he's caught in the bathtub, and Mr. Dithers yells at him.

At 8:02 AM, Blogger Erich said...

Have you ever checked out The Comics Curmudgeon? It's got tons of hilarious snarking on newspaper comics...and yes, Mary Worth is featured frequently.

At 9:01 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Why thank you Erich! I did not know this blog existed before, and it is definitely worth the visit. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that Mary Worth is an interfering old nutbag.


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