Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: January 2009

Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!

Now with Guy Gardner's Seal of Approval!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Thoughts about Death and Rehabilitation

The concept of Blackest Night, I believe, is that with the Antimonitor as the battery, and Black Hand as the man in charge or something, the dead are going to rise, and make life miserable for the Green Lanterns, not to mention all the other color corps.

This of course will give us a chance to see all of our favorite dead people, presumably as evil zombies or something. It has already been leaked that J'onn J'onnz is going to be a Black Lantern as well as the old Superman that Superbrat Prime offed back in Infinite Crisis. So I assume that just about everyone taking a dirt nap will be fair game to be a Black Lantern. I'm not quite sure what is going to happen with people who are dead, but still active among the superhero community,such as Deadman and Ralph and Sue. Will they be immune?

I'm more interested in some ways in the aftermath of Blackest Night. There are just too many wonderful characters that are dead, and I would be tickled to my toes, if there is some way that they end up rehabilitated and back among the living at the conclusion. People like J'onn for instance, or Ted, Ralph, Sue, Dmitri, the Trickster and the original Doctor Polaris. Not Maxima though, because I never liked her very much...and as usual it is all about ME!

Max Lord is the most important however. We NEED Max! Therefore I am forming a society dedicated to the revival of Maxwell Lord. We'll call it StoRM. The Society to Rehabilitate Max.

The Justice League NEEDS him again! Granted it would be a little awkward for he and Wonder Woman to be in the same room together, but presumably, they'd get over that. But just think of it. They have that nice new Hall of Justice in Washington D.C. now. Max could go over and lobby at the Capitol! He could give tours to the sixth graders, and make a bundle on the stuff in the gift shop!

It would be heaven.

And then we could open up another Justice League book, with the character from the old JLI, as a League of Back-up Heroes or something. Heck, if Marvel can have a dozen or so Avengers books, I don't think that an additional Justice League book would be out of the way. We could put Jaime in it, and get him away from those losers over at the Teen Titans. Get Scott and Barda back. Throw in Hawkman since he is all pissed off at the Justice Society. Add Ice, and Fire and Guy just for fun, and to give them something to do, and Ryan Choi for the same reason. Make Gail Simone write it, and Kevin Maguire draw it.

It would SO be heaven.

Friday, January 30, 2009


It took an extra day, but it was so worth it. I managed to get my greedy mitts on Blue Beetle, Final Crises: Revelations, Final Crises, Incredible Hercules, Jack of Fables, Justice Society of America, Punisher: War Zone, Trinity and Wonder Woman. It was a very very GOOD week!

Firstly, this issue of Blue Beetle was simply hilarious. SO many good moments, from Paco in tuxedo jack and no pants, to Jaime running out of the school gym in a panic, to the arrival of the Blue Beetle Corps, and their agenda...the elimination of oppresive states, and rogue powers, such as terrorists and the JLA...but MOSTLY the obliteration of the Green Lantern Corps and their Oan Masters! Booyah!

Why oh why are they cancelling this book again?

Final Crises: Revelations was the conclusion, and you'll be relieved to know that it all ends up...well...pretty good, all things considered. Huntress and the Question sort've die, but not really, and Cain/Vandal Savage gets his vastly deserved comeuppance, and the Spectre actually gets a bit of redemption as well.

Final Crises ends, and with a bang! I actually loved this entire series a lot, but I do have to add the caveat that it makes a lot more sense if you read the additional series, such as the Superman two--parter, and Batman RIP and a few others. With all of the delays it was a bit difficult to remember just who was who, and what they were doing, so I imagine that reading it in trade, may make it easier for some people.

This story was about stories...and their power, and there were a lot of layers and layers to it. A LOT of things happen, and it's sometimes easy to miss things, but going back and re-reading it, and looking more closely at some of the panels is quite rewarding. I have to say that Doug Mahnke did a bang-up job on the art, especially considering the time problems. But just about everybody shows up, including some characters that you would NEVER expect, the Green Lanterns make their triumphant appearance, Hawkman and Hawkgirl get singed, Aquaman somehow manages his return, Stargirl manages to remain heroic through the whole thing, the Flashes do their stuff, Darkseid gets his, and...oh and Batman's not really dead, he's just misplaced for a while. He'll be back.

The Incredible Hercules #125 is the conclusion of the story of the Marvel version of Amazons Attack, and I really have to say that they did it better. Artume has managed to remake reality with the Amazons ruling things, and it is a lot of fun. In the end, reality reasserts itself, loved ones are broken apart, and Cho and Hercules decide that pizza may make themselves feel better.

Jack of Fables has the battle just getting crazier and crazier. I'm a little worried about Gary however. Oh and Babe the tiny blue ox has his usual cameo.

Black Adam and Isis are reunited, and Felix Faust gets his. Or actually he possibly loses his. Whatever. Isis seems to be awfully cranky. And speaking of cranky, Hawkman has a hissy fit and stomps out of the Justice Society. Alan is obviously full of piss and vinegar as well, but Jay is fairly philosophical about it all...as well he should be. They are trying to reorganize the JSA and we get to see what some of the characters are doing, and where they will be going.

Oh, and Black Adam and Isis kick Billy out of the Rock of Eternity, which I actually consider to be a good thing. Too bad about the whole "shazam" thing. Maybe he should try yelling "Chocolate Egg Cream!"

Punisher: War Zone draws to its hilarious and bloody conclusion. There really is no intellectual reason whatseover to read this book, it's just violent and rude and very very funny. Ennis and Dillon together are always a dynamite combination.

Trinity continues to be entertaining. We get a bit of background on Enigma in the backstory this week,and it is quite interesting. Lois has her moment to shine as well.

Wonder Woman and Tom finally get to smooch. It's about time. The armor was gorgeous as was the art, and Cheetah shows up. Zeus has created his own bunch of Amazons, complete with their own island and agenda, and it probably isn't going to end well. There was a bit of a problem with the lettering, some letters left off of words, and other words misspelled, which was odd. Was this a rush job and nobody caught it? A little jarring to read. On the other hand, considering how inept I am at editing my own entries, I'm in no position to be casting stones.
But this was very very good.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Moving Right Along

Whew! I'll try and be a little less perverted today. Which means that I won't be making penis jokes. Unless you really really want me to.

And I'll FINALLY be getting the new books! Couldn't go yesturday because of all the ice and snow, but the sun is out, and the roads are mostly clear, and I simply can't wait any longer. The final Final Crises is out! And Blue Beetle, Incredible Hercules and Wonder Woman, not to mention any number of other goodies. So I'm off to the Comical Book Store!

But I simply can't leave you all hanging without something to titilate your jaded palettes. And so, I give you...


I can honestly say that I don't have the foggiest idea WHY Ralph is shooting Wonder Woman in the ass, but I can heartily endorse the complete joie de vivre that he displays while doing so. Hawkman on the other hand, looks to be pretty grabby to me.

Heh. I guess there is a penis joke there after all.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Don't Read This...!

...If you are easily offended, that is. It's snowing like mad, and I can't get out to the Comic Book Store, and therefore, my childish mind has taken control over my more mature intellect, and I started wondering...exactly what sort of nicknames do you suppose that the Green Lanterns use for their penises?

At least the MALE Green Lanterns. And any other male super heroes. Being female, I don't have a whole lot of experience in this particular sub-culture. I just know that I don't know of too many women who have nicknames for their...um...girly bits.
Hal Pictures

Kalinara once theorized that Hal would call HIS penis, "Mr. Happy". This seems like the sort of thing that Hal would do.


Now Batman and Robin certainly aren't Green Lanterns, but they ARE Super Heroes, and this certainly seems to bring up the whole subject. My personal belief is that Batman always called his the Batpole, but based on this scene, I'm guessing the Javelin or something. I don't know what Dick calls his. It just seems too obvious.


I guess we can deduce what Guy calls his. At least it shows some imagination!

I suppose that Alan's has something with "wood" in it. Teehee!

Do any of you have some better suggestions? Use your feelthy feelthy imaginations!

I imagine that poor Kyle has been too traumatized by the numerous deaths his love life seems to have caused. I can't ever seem to think of salacious things around John for some reason. But I'll bet that Wally has LOTS of nicknames!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Signs of Desperation

Oh crap. Back to staring at a blank computer...desperate to come up with something...ANYthing to write about. How do real columnists and writers DO this day after day?

Let's see, there is a giant killer storm wending its way across the entire continent, and it will...naturally...hit New England by Wednesday. Snow, sleet and ice, and so forth. Naturally, my childish brain seized upon the forecast that was for Wednesday, and my first thought was that it was going to be VERY difficult to get my comics. Not that school maybe delayed or cancelled, or if there is enough milk in the house, but "Oh God, What About My Comic Books?!" Please tell me that I'm not the only person who has that sort of ridiculous reaction.

In the Good News Department, I think that the second Starman Omnibus is coming out in February. This is VERY good news. And the third one is coming out in June, just in time for my birthday. In my best Doctor Doom voice, may I just say that this pleases me.

Oh, and the best traditions of this particular blog, let me just post this.
Batman being stupid ALWAYS lifts my spirits!


I could throw in Hal getting hit in the head and showing off his behind, but I don't want to push it.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Say, Whatever Happened...?

Whatever DID happen to Adam Hughes' All-Star Wonder Woman project? I can remember getting excited about this about two years ago. I understand that things take a certain amount of time in the wacky world of comicbook publishing, but two YEARS?

I haven't really noticed anything much about this project lately, so I was wondering if anybody knew anything about it. Perhaps Mr. Hughes is taking care to draw the entire series first, so that there won't be any delays. I do believe that he is writing it as well? Maybe the changes that Gail Simone has made to the book have to be accommodated? That however certainly doesn't stop Frank Miller from doing whatever the heck he wants to do with All-Star Batman & Robin.


I guess I'm just feeling cranky today. But I really WOULD love to read this book, and I'm beginning to fall a prey to despair.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

I Missed It!

Gah! I missed last night's viewing of "The Brave & the Bold" on the Cartoon chanel. Granted, I did have a valid excuse, such as picking up my son who had been attending an awards ceremony for Habitat for Humanity, but still...!

Fortunately it is on again tonight. I do believe that this is the episode with Ted Kord as the Blue Beetle, although I'm pretty sure that Jaime will show up again. I keep hoping that Guy will show up too. You can just never have too much of Ted.

Blue Beetle

This is from one of my favorite plotlines of the old Justice League, written by Giffen and DeMatteis, and beautifully drawn by Ty Templeton. Ted has been brainwashed by that Biaylian Queen Whatshername, and tried to stab Max in the previous issue. Amanda Waller is there to try and figure out what happened. Don't worry about her, she manages to kick Ted right in his leg wound, which is nasty,but effective.

But Ted's just so cute here, dagnabit. AND evil. We don't get to see Ted being evil very often, but he does it very well. Of course it's not his fault, but every hero should have the chance to be mind-controlled once in a while, so that they can chew the proverbial scenery and show everyone how powerful they REALLY are.

Well except Hal of course. He takes being mind-controlled to an extreme level, in typical Jordan fashion.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Green Lantern #37

Two Green Lanterns in one month! It sort've makes up for the marked dearth of Green Lanterns in December. Frankly, the beauty of the artwork by Ivan Reis makes up for any delay. Gosharootie, he draws SUCH a pretty Hal.

Hal has teamed up with the two Blue Lanterns, and are off to retrieve Sinestro. The Hope Lanterns are adamant that Sinestro be saved, and that his life is important in the upcoming Ware of Light. Hal, stubborn jackass that he can be, is equally adamant that Sinestro deserves his death sentence. Ganthet seems to feel that Hal is destined to become a Blue Lanterns, but St. Walker and Warth are uncertain, considering how pissed Hal seems to be.

Eventually, they do find Ysmault, and there is Sinestro still strung up on the Rage symbo, all bloody and horrible-looking. Hal immediately starts to reminisce about all that Sinestro has done To him and For him over the years, and he hesitates, even though his ring keeps repeating that Lethal Force is Authorized. As Hal stands there hesitating, Sinestro, who is actually looking pretty pitiful does manage to croak out a warning, as the seemingly innocuous red puddle behind Hal suddenly bursts forth, and...boy howdy, there are a passel of really really cranky Red Lanterns all over him.

So, lickety-split, Atrocitus has Hal strung up next to Sinestro, and in his usual fashion, he decides to come up with a prophecy for Hal. He declares that the Guardians will take his greatest love away, and that he'll rebel once more,and lose everything in the war to come. Sinestro, who hasn't lost an ounce of his inherent snarkiness hangs there sneering, and reminding Hal that Atrocitus is just a phoney, with a talent for reverse psychology. But he DOES think that Hal should definitely rebel against the Guardians. Hell, even I think that Hal should rebel against the Guardians! They have been particularly stupid lately, and probably DESERVE to be rebelled against. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Atrocitus sics Laira on Hal, just as a posse of Yellow Lanterns show up and free Sinestro, while at the same time, St. Walker and Warth show up and in a stunningly gorgeous two-page spread, free Hal. God, they should make a poster of this.

Hal, being Hal manages to get jumped by the girl, and Laira is all over him, as he tries to reason with her. He's just beginning to get through to her, when she is cut down by Sinestro and dies. Hal is all broken up, while Sinestro is surprised that he's upset, after all, he just saved his life. Hal finally loses his temper and starts whaling away on Sinestro, and fed up, he encases Sinestro in a green energy electric chair. The two Blue Lanterns are horrified and leap in, to stop him, but they are too late.


That's one HELL of a cliff-hanger! I did NOT see that coming! And I'm not going to show you or tell you, because you truly deserve to go out and read it yourselves and be stunned.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Life in the DC and Marvel Universes

It must be interesting to be an average person in either the DC or Marvel Universes. Life would certainly not be humdrum, what with the sky turning blood-red, or alien invasions every other Tuesday. There is a lot that we could learn from these stalwarts. In our reality, we have a tendancy to go to pieces whenever there is a problem, but in comic books, tidal waves, earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, tornados, the complete destruction of New York City, the complete destruction of Gotham City, the complete destruction of the Earth,hell, the complete destruction of the UNIVERSE happens with dull regularity, and nobody bats and eye.

That's because frankly, life with Superheroes is just better. Sure, you may be invaded by super villains, but it is usually just a temporary nuisance. Ok, possibly your entire town may be plucked up by omnipotent beings and placed on the other side of the galaxy, but the up side is, that you don't have to pay your Federal Income Taxes this year! And any wandering Green Lantern will eventually get you home. Look at Jaime Reyes. He was MIA for an entire YEAR, and other than some well-placed anxiety on the part of his immediate family and friends, nobody thought anything about it. When he got back and re-enrolled in school, it was considered just a part of doing business.

Hobos have it pretty good in the comic book world. Whole suits of clothes are readily found in just about any alley in the country. Granted, you have to wait for that webbing to dissolve, but afer an hour or so, you're golden. Wolverine ALONE keeps half of the population of New York in brand new leather jackets. There is also the occasional bonus of an entire Superhero suit, just stuffed in a trash can.

There are all of those handy technological pursuits as well. You can't deny that unstable molecules could be a very handy thing to have around. Plus, the odds of simply LOOKING fabulous are much higher. There just aren't that many ugly or fat people in the comic book world, and the ones that do look less than perfect tend to be villains. If you are a woman, you are more than likely to have incredibly firm and pert breasts and wear a thong. If you are a man, you probably won't have much in your pants, but by god, you'll have great muscles everywhere else!

In the comic book world, with a little bit of luck, you too can pick up a strange rock that will give you powers or be bitten by something radioactive. Instead of your hair falling out and you getting sick, you'll get cool powers! If you are the sort of person who would enjoy a bit of villainy, then there seem to be just tons of crazy inventors and scientists who are just waiting and eager to develop the odd bit of hardware, freeze-gun or potion to fill your needs.

And robots. We have robots, but they just aren't as COOL as comic robots. Who wouldnt' want a cute and cuddly or sarcastic robot? I know I would. You probably would like one too.

But mostly, I'd like to live in the comic book universe because scenes like this would be quite common.

Banks should definitely have a large "$" on the bags. It just has style. You'll notice that Hal hasn't even bothered with a $ bag. I don't quite know how they are all going to fit in the Batmobile, but rest assured, that Batman will have it covered. Somehow.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A Little More Excitement than I was Expecting

It's Wednesday, and as usual, the high-light of my week. And Green Lantern is coming out, which is very nice. However, I did get a little bit more excitement today than I had originally planned for. Such as the slightly hysterical telephone call from my youngest. Phone calls from school always make my stomache drop into my shoes because you're never sure WHAT is coming. In this particular instance, some kid in the school parking lot managed to dent her rear fender and completely rip off her bumper.

She's fine, she wasn't even in the car, which was parked, but she did see the whole thing happen, and is...well, she's livid. She loves that car! The Saab from Hell, but she loves it. I'm afraid that the poor boy who hit her is in for a very expensive lesson. It's his second accident, and he's only had his license for a few months. VERY expensive. Thank goodness for insurance.

I'll tell you who ISN"T going to be driving my car to school. Not in THAT parking lot!

Which brings me, in a roudabout way, to a question. We all know that Hal is a hot-shot pilot. How is when it comes to driving? I seem to remember quite a number of times, at least in the old Gil Kane issues where he drives off of cliffs and things. Always in a convertable of course. In New Frontier, by Darwyn Cooke, he seemed to be driving more or less like a maniac.

I think that we can assume that Hal drives pretty much the same way that he flies. FAST and without a safety net! Does he fasten his seat belt, or does that take away his "edge"? Does he even own a car nowadays? What kind of car would he drive? Personally, I see him in a nice little '57 Corvette. Which he would wreck. So perhaps a '75 Pinto would be more appropriate.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

It's Inauguration Day...Finally!

Let the festivities begin! I suppose that it isn't really very polite of my gloat, but it has been a VERY very long time, since I've been excited about an inauguration. Possibly since 1993. So it's been a bit of a draught.

I do have weird visions of Bush running around the White House, and marking his territory, before they try to shove him on the helicopter...rather like trying to put a cat in a bath. I am also pretty sure that Cheney is going to retreat to his subterranean lair, deep beneath the Capitol, where he will wear a cape and a half-mask. All the eyeholes in the presidential portraits will be cut out, so that Cheney can lurk in the secret passages behind the walls, and look out through those eyeholes.

But hey! Apparently Green Lantern is coming out this week! I'm not sure if the books will be coming in on Wednesday or Thursday, because of Martin Luther King day, but it is something to look forward to. And I just found out that the third Ominbus of Starman is going to come out on June 17th, which is my birthday! It will include the Shade mini-series, which is something that I've been dying to find.

I'm in a helluva good mood today!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Green Lantern Corps #32

You'll all be relieved to see that I've come off of my high horse, and am now back to doing the things that actually MATTER...ie. talking about Green Lanterns. And Green Lantern Corps was a doozy!

So, to recap, Amnee is about to get a caesarean section as performed by Kryb and the betwaddled Lanterns. However, unless you are Hal Jordan, mind control of a GL is actually harder than it looks, and Kyle, bless his heart manages to break free of Kryb's control. And, as is Kyle's wont, he does it in a rather spectacular fashion.
Green Lanterns

Woohoo! Kyle is going Clint Eastwood on them! Love the gunbelt. You just know that he and Guy have been hanging out watching old westerns on dvd at the new Warriors after hours.

Since Amnee has actually apparently gone into labor at this point, Matoo, back in his right mind, is comforting her, while Soranik helps to deliver the baby. Meanwhile, Kyle and KT-21 go after Kryb, who isn't coming quietly. But that's ok, because it turns out that they have a little help!

Green Lanterns

I wondered when Miri was going to show up! They continue to have a knock-down, drag-out fight with Kryb, while Soranik delivers Amnee's baby girl. Awwww...she's so cute!

Kyle, KT-21 and Miri manage to subdue Kryb, and then naturally start arguing about what to do with her. KT-21 isn't having any of THAT, and decides to execute Kryb right then and there. Too bad how THAT works out, but it was pretty obvious that KT-21 was a redshirt from the beginning. Of course, with their incredible sense of timing, the annunciation of the Third New Law from the Guardians arrives in the middle of all of this. So they are stuck with the death of KT-21, the capture of Kryb, and the birth of a baby, and they are all feeling just a tad exhausted.

Miri makes a pitch for taking Kryb back to the Zamarons with her, saying that she can be redeemed through the power of love. Kyle thinks she's nuts, but is probably too tired at this point to put up much of a fuss. besides, he's probably just enchanted by her adorable little hat/headdress thing. It's just so kicky. Not to mention the fact that she's pointed out that he could use a little help in the love department as well, so she has Kyle and Soranik gaze into her Star Sapphire crystal to reveal their true loves.


Amnee and Matoo take a look at their new baby, and a look at their rings, and come to the VERY easy conclusion that if given a choice, they'll go with their family over being a Lantern any day, so they resign their rings.

As for Kyle and Soranik...well guess who they saw in Miri's crystal? This could be a tad awkward. Or fabulous depending upon your mood, I suppose. But, as Kyle says, first things first, they ahve to get KT-21's corpse back to Oa, drop off Amnee, Matoo and their little bundle of joy, and make their report to the Guardians.

And speaking of Oa, Salaak has just received a rather surprising package, one of the babies that Kyle and the rest of them had freed from Kryb. Salaak may be one heck of a Lantern, but he's at something of a loss when it comes to dealing with a baby, when he looks up...and sees what the baby is pointing to...dozens and dozens of Green Lantern rings, that were given up in response to the Guardian's new Third Law.

Who could possibly have seen that coming?

Oh,and Mongul is headed towards Daxam. That probably won't end well.

Let's see, the First Law of the Guardians was the use of lethal force on Sinestro Corp members. And the Green Lanterns, at least a large number of them went...Yay!

Then the Second Law of the Guardians was the use of lethal force on anybody, if necessary. And the Green Lanterns went...yay?

Now the Third Law of the Guardians comes out,"physical relationships and love between members of the Green Lantern Corps is forbidden from this moment forth". And the Green Lanterns went...WTF!!??

Since this sort of thing seems to be escalating, I can only assume that the Fourth Law of the Guardians is going to be the forbidding of physical relationships and love between a Green Lantern and ANYBODY...at which point the remaining Green Lanterns will say..."The Hell with This, I QUIT!" and they will resign in a body, led by Hal Jordan and Guy Gardner.

And the Guardians will be all alone, with only the Alpha Lanterns to protect them, except that even the Alpha Lanterns will decide that this is seriously messed up. Good luck winning the War of Light, there, Guardians! The Blue Lantern Corps is looking better and better!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Enough is Enough

Some of you may infer that I'm getting a little bit fed up with Valerie D'Orazio lately. She's been using her blog at Occasional Superheroine as a bully pulpit, excoriating DC and praising Marvel to the skies. This is, of course, her right and priviledge. I may find it tiresome, but she does have the right to write "DC SUCKS" in capital letters, over and over ad infinitum, if that is what she wants to do.

What she doesn't have the right to do, is to question the feminism or intelligence or simply different tastes of people who may disagree with her loudly-stated beliefs. On her latest attack against Final Crises #6, she mentions that she doesn't particularly care for the book. That's ok, a lot of people didn't care for it. I happen to like it, but that's also neither here nor there. When I have an opinion about something I usually blog about it myself, as opposed to going on someone else's blog and yelling at them.

However, Najika made a very cogent and polite entry on Val's blog, stating that she was a long-time reader, and had enjoyed Val's opinions in the past.

"...I can see why an unpleasant experience with a company would make you be hard on them. After all,you have insight in them we don't. But I'm stilll disappointed with the new direction you've taken. It seems to me like you've started to ignore the rest of the industry and focus on DC's mess-ups exclusively."

Najika goes on to state that she rather likes some of the stuff put out by DC and was hoping for a more balanced approach. She remains polite and respectful and even a little humble.

Well, Valerie isn't having any of THAT sort of talk! She comes right back and rips poor Najika a new one.

"Najika if you support DC comics then I really can't consider you a feminist..."

What the fuck? Oops. Pardon my French and all, but seriously...WHAT THE FUCK? I suppose that I can understand getting a bit snarky if someone comes in and starts being a troll on your blog, but Najika was as nice as she could be.

Kalinara, over at Pretty Fizzy Paradise, with her usual knack for hitting the nail on the head, calls her out on it.

"...No one says feminists have to agree on everything. No one says that feminists have to like one another. But we don't have the right to weigh and measure one another's feminism like that."

Johanna Draper points out that Valerie ALSO wants you to support female characters and female writers and artists, and that you...as a Feminist...should support Wonder Woman. Which is published by DC.

If Valerie thinks that Marvel is a bastion of love and support to women, then more power to her. I think she's delusional, but what the heck do I know. I do know that it was Marvel that published the famous "Heroes for Hentai" cover, and thought that the tawdry little statue of Mary Jane was just wonderful, not to mention the latest charming and tasteful depiction of the Wasp being eaten by the Blob. But it's MARVEL, so it is therefore, GOOD! Everything that DC does is BAD! Because they were mean to her.

Valerie is going to be the new writer for Cloak and Dagger, so I can understand that she's excited about the work,and being associated with Marvel. I also wonder what she's going to do when she experiences any bias or anti-feminist behavior at Marvel, because there is no way on earth, that I believe that Marvel isn't just as sexist as DC.

Ok, rant over. Valerie can write any bloody crap that she wants. But she'd better stop telling us what to do, what to think, and who to support. Because she's starting to make me sympathetic to the powers-that-be at DC and their treatment of her. Which is probably NOT the reaction that she wants.

And finally,

Hal pictures

Here's a picture of Hal, so that you'll all know that it really is me. Except that he's not being hit in the head or anything, and he's facing forward, and is all pretty and heroic and everything.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Oh...the Horror!

So I was sitting in my chair, going through my usual morning routine, of checking out all the various blogs and sites that I usually visit, and for some reason, the character of Terry Long seemed to keep popping up. This struck me as being a little odd, since Terry Long, is long-gone...fortunately for all of us. And yet...!

For those of you who may not know, Terry Long was the man that Donna Troy decided to marry waaaaaaaay back when, when she was in the Teen Titans. He was this creepy College Professor, who spent most of his time running around with his shirt undone to his waist, wearing a gold chain and showing off his manscape. He spent far too much time hitting on all of Donna's female friends, and pretending to be "with it".


This is Terry Long. There is another picture out there showing him wearing a spotted speedo, that is to horrible to inflict upon you.


Anyhoo, to make a long story short, Donna even managed to produce an offspring from his unholy union. As I said, fortunately, they drove their car off of a cliff and we all enjoyed their fiery death. And Death, is where Terry Long has been residing for a very long time.

However....it occurs to me, that the upcoming Blackest Night storyline in the Green Lantern books could bring about something truly horrible. The Black Lanterns are the reanimated Dead. Which means J'onn J'onnz could be a Black Lantern. Or Katma Tui, or Bzzd. Or...TERRY LONG!

Can't you see Winick doing a story with a zombified Terry Long?


Thursday, January 15, 2009

Woohoo! New Comics!

So I got into my silver chariot, and drove eagerly to the Comic Book Store, only to discover in the parking lot that I had left my wallet in my OTHER purse, and in my haste to read my books, I hadn't made the switch. It serves me right for being a slave to fashion I suppose. You DON'T carry a black purse with brown shoes. Or vice versa. So I had to slog back home and get my wallet which contained my cheque book and incidentally, my driver's license and start the whole thing over again.

Nevertheless, after a great deal of perseverance, I managed to get my sweaty hands on my new books and it was SO worth it.

Incidentally, there certainly weren't any lines out of the door, with people lusting after the new Amazing Spider-Man book. You know, the one with Obama on the cover? Matt had it, and offered it to me, and I said, no thanks, because I haven't been reading Amazing Spider-Man in months, so why start now? I LIKE Obama. I VOTED for Obama. However, I really don't see the need to enrich Marvel, simply to have a book with his visage on the cover. Gosh, people are weird!

That said, I managed to buy:

Booster Gold #16
Green Arrow/Black Canary #16
Green Lantern Corps #32
Fables #80
Final Crises #6
Manhunter #38
Nightwing #152
Trinity #33
Punisher: War Zone #5

I took them home and I read them, and I enjoyed them. Even Final Crises. Heck, ESPECIALLY Final Crises! I LIKED Final Crises, and I've been liking Final Crises. So Valerie D'Orazio can just suck on it.


For what it is worth, I thought that the "death" of Batman was very well done. It beats being eaten by the Blob, that's for sure! I also don't for a moment think that Batman will stay dead, or even if he's REALLY dead, as opposed to MOSTLY dead...or something. Not when you've got the Flashes in the same issue literally outrunning Death.

Besides, the whole bit with the Marvels, and Talky Tawny was just...magnificent.

But anyway, Booster Gold was fun as usual, with the superb Hans Von Hammer showing up. I really like Enemy Ace as a character. And you'll never guess the identity of the random American soldier that Booster ends up saving!

Green Arrow/Black Canary was fine. Nothing particularly outstanding, nothing particularly terrible. I always like it when Merlyn shows up for some reason. Dinah discovers that arrows are both pointy and painful. Ollie has another member in his fan club apparently...and what a whackadoodle SHE is!

Green Lantern Corps. Good...so so Good.

Fables was excellent as usual too. Things really seem to have hit the fan lately, you'd have thought that the aftermath from the war would have been a letdown, but Fabletown is in ruins, King Cole is panicking and Boy Blue isn't feeling too good. Oh, and Rose Red and Sinbad got married!

Final Crises. Holy Crap! A hell of a lot of stuff happens.

Manhunter. This issue is apparently the final one. Ramsey graduates, and the party is promptly crashed by villains. What is particularly hilarious to me, is that they all EXPECTED the party to be crashed by villains! Ramsey gets a heck of a graduation present from Kate.
I am going to miss this book. *sniff*

Nightwing had Dick moping and angsting, but not excessively, which was good. It had Ra's al Ghul too, who was rather surprisingly ALSO moping and angsting. Dick kicks his butt.

Trinity was nice. More of the same stuff, but I imagine that in a few issues it will all start picking up, as we are beginning to wind down.

Punisher: War Zone. Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon continue to show how it is done. Good clean violent fun.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

While we are on the Subject...!

In addition to my easy-to-use Blogger's Manual for the Lazy, I also use another trick to try and come up with ideas. I keep a notepad and pen next to the computer, and when I happen to come up with an idea, I will frequently jot it down on the pad. Keep in mind however, that usually the pen runs out of ink, or one of the kids walks off with it, and I have to jot it down in pencil, or on occasion, my own blood.

What usuallyhappens, is that my own handwriting is so bad, that I can only read a portion of the "brilliant" idea, when the time comes to go back and desperately try and come up with a topic. Which is why you would end up with a subject like this.

..."Which GL would you like to date and w;lkt ;lioil lkkl!!"

Add to this, the fact, that I frequently set my tea cup down on top of the notepad, and the subsequent rings and spills just make trying to translate what the heck I wrote down last week even MORE difficult.

But anyway, let's try and run with this "brilliant" idea.

What Green Lantern would YOU like to date and weoihlkhssss;;;;!!!!????

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A "How-To" Manual .for Aspiring Bloggers

Sometimes there are the sort of days when you just don't know WHAT to talk about. You stare desperately at your screen, your fingers hovering over the keyboard, waiting...waiting for that jolt of inspiration. You begin to suspect that the resolve to do this on a mostly daily basis was in fact the ravings of a Mad Woman, and that maybe nobody wants to really read about your Green Lantern ass fetish.

That, my dear friends, is when you pull out the handy-dandy manual.

#1.......Find a picture of Batman that makes him look silly or foolish.


Since Batman is so popular, and the epitome of comic booky omnipotence this has the chance to look either witty, or piss off a lot of Batman fans. Either way...you win!

#2.......Find a picture of Hal Jordan being hit in the head.


This has the advantage of being fun and really really really easy to do. There are literally hundreds, nay, probably THOUSANDS of pictures of Hal Jordan being hit in the head. You don't even have to make up stuff to try and make it relevant. Just the sight of it is pleasing.

#3........Find a picture of a Green Lantern Butt

Hal Pictures

Again...surprisingly easy to accomplish. Gil Kane ALONE has oodles of stuff to scan. Practically every artist since then, has somehow become hypnotized by the various behinds of the various Green Lanterns. They don't even have to be human butts. Kilowog for example has an amazingly taut pair of buttocks.

Mix together in different amounts...and serve!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Gee, I haven't talked about Kyle in a While

Oh Kyle. You're just so cute, dagnabit. I get so fixated on Guy and Hal, and forget to give you and John the attention that you deserve. I can hardly wait until Wednesday, since I am hoping that Green Lantern Corps is coming out this week, and we'll get to see how you and Soranik cope with being hypnotized by Kryb.

But anyway getting back to Kyle. I wonder if the new Warriors Bar serves coffee, in addition to the beer and intergalactic booze? I would like to think that it does, mainly to help appease both Kyle and John's apparent coffee addictions. Do they import it? Or do they just rely on any passing GL who happens to be near 2814 to drop into Starbucks?

It's 2009 now, and we are starting to get into the first stages of the third part of the trilogy by Geoff Johns, with Blackest Night looming on the horizon. Exactly what part will Kyle play in all of this? I can't help but think about a particular post by Ragnell a while back, where she points out that in addition to having people drop dead simply from kissing him, he's ALSO remarkably adept at RESURRECTING people. The Guardians for example, Kilowog and even his own mother.

Is this power over life and death an aspect of Kyle that Geoff Johns is going to remember and use? I suspect that Kyle's ability to perform these amazing restorative feats may have been due to the fact that he was Ion at the time. I certainly don't remember any average Green Lantern being able to do the same thing, although Whatshisname is able to talk to the dead. Does this mean that since Sodam Yat is now Ion, he'll have the same resurrection powers? What about GL's that were formerly dead themselves, such as Kilowog, and even Hal? Will the Black Lanterns be able to influence people who were previously dead, or even just MOSTLY dead like Guy?

I suppose that such speculation at this point in time is fruitless. Yet fascinating. And speaking of fascinating...

Kyle pictures

I do believe that is the first sight of Kyle's magnificent behind.


Saturday, January 10, 2009

Not a Thing in My Head

I cannot come up with a single witty nor scintillating thing to say today. Heck, I can't even think of anything dull and boring to say. So instead, I'm going to show you what I did yesturday afternoon, when I finished reading Millenium as an antidote for Secret Invasion. I can't say that I was impressed by the MacFarlane or Sears artwork, but it's not a terrible story.

So I made my own stuff.

My Drawings

Thank goodness for computer paper. I just rough it out in pencil, then ink, and finally color it using a whole lot of felt pens. The inking should probably be heavier, it looks a little different scanned than what it does on paper, and the colors came out a little lighter as well. Still...I'm reasonably pleased with it.

Too bad Hal's not getting hit in the head.

Friday, January 09, 2009

New Comics!

Took a while, but I finally got the new books. A small week, but a decent week. Heck any week is decent if it has Secret Six in it.

Did anyone pick up Black Lightning: Year One? I did, and I liked it. I don't really know all that much about Black Lightning, other than him showing up in JLA occasionally, and for that hysterically funny bit on Harvey Birdman, where he complains about his name, and says that if he has to be "Black" Lightning, then Aquaman should be called White Fish. Haw!


Anyway, I never even knew that Metropolis had such a rough section of town. That's probably because I'm a pampered white suburg-living Wasp. But well written, by Jen Van Meter, and well drawn by Cully Hamner.

The Haunted Tank #2 is also hilarious in a bizarre sort of way. I never thought that I'd actually feel sorry for James Ewell Brown Stuart, but the poor ghost is just so...flustered here.

Jonah Hex #39 was...both good and bad. It was a good story, with excellent dialogue, and a decent plot, but the art was a problem. Individual panels were nicely done, but the coloring was all dark and in sepia tones, which was a nice touch to try and make it look period, but trying to actually follow what was happening from panel to panel was very difficult...at least for me. It was a bit TOO murky, and hard to figure out exactly WHAT was happening. Especially on the last page. Others may have been able to follow it all, but I couldn't.

Secret Six #5 was my favorite of course. God, I love Deadshot, he's just ADORABLE! Er...for an amoral hardened killer, anyway. And good for Scandal, sticking up for Bane. I'm liking Bane more and more too. Shouldn't it be wrong to be rooting for the villains so much? Gail Simone does her usual more than competent job of setting up the story, and dialogue, so much of which was a hoot. Nicola Scott is an excellent artist. And the reveal on the last page? THAT'S a twist that I did not see coming.

Faces of Evil: Solomon Grundy. was...good! Some interesting touches, and a flash back to Alan Scott and Ted Knight. You can't go wrong with a book that has Alan Scott in it! Oh, and a nice fight with Killer Croc in the sewers.

Vixen: Return of the Lion #4. Another decent book. Very pretty art, and a good story. Plus, an interesting twist on what exactly it was that brought down Superman, and what the heck are they going to do about it.

Trinity #32. Things had stalled there for a little while, but the action seems to be picking up quite nicely lately. I don't know what a "Machinist" is, but apparently you don't want to be one.

So, I liked ALL of my books. I liked Jonah Hex too, I just wish I could have figured out what was going on with the pictures, instead of just the dialogue. But I'm funny that way.

Oh, and I almost forgot. I have heard a rumor that Beau Smith is going to be doing a Green Lantern Annual some time in 2009. This is FABULOUS news, if true. If there is one writer that gets Green Lanterns, especially Guy, it is Beau Smith.

Thursday, January 08, 2009


The freezing rain has ceased, and the ice seems to be melting, so, I'm throwing the sidesaddle on my car, and venturing out to get my comic books. Thank Goodness, since waiting always makes me cranky.

I'm awfully glad that the former bloggers at Newsarama have found a new home over at CBR, called Robot 6. I missed getting my morning fix. I must say that if you haven't been reading Ethan van Sciver's weekly post, you are missing a real treat. The man is completely insane, but awfully amusing. This week, he mentioned that he had just discoverd Facebook, and didn't know that he had so many friends...it was just like the ending of "It's A Wonderful Life" without having to commit suicide. I must confess to snorting out my tea through my nose, which was painful...but worth it.

Well, I'm off. And if that isn't a punchline just waiting to happen, then I don't know what is.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

All Romance Comic Heroes look like...!!

It is sleeting AND snowing, and the roads are icy as all heck, and they've cancelled school. I know that the new books are in today, but even I'm not quite crazed enough to brave the roads and risk something happening to my beautiful beautiful car. So you'll just have to put up with more Romance Comics.

Damn it, these things are beginning to get addictive.

Anyhoo, a while back, Sea asked me if I could find any with John or Kyle. Unfortunately, I think that being able to find one with John will be practically impossible. The people in these books are ALL white, ALL Wasps, and ALL probably sleep in twin beds.

But I DID happen to find...THIS!


That guy with the black hair could be Kyle! And not only that, he's referred to as a "Torch Carrier"!!!!! Not quite Torchbearer, but pretty darned close! AND, he's mooning over a former love that probably died simply from being in the same room, or zip code with him. If that's not Kyle, then I don't know what is.

Besides, the ideas about how to "land" a man are hysterical.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

What IS it about Green Lanterns and their Craniums?

There is just something ABOUT Green Lanterns, that apparently makes you want to punch them in the face. And it's not just Hal Jordan, although it is a labor of love amongst a LOT of bloggers (myself included) to show in obsessive detail every instance of Hal's head trauma. Naturally, there are a large number of villains who feel compelled to punch Hal in the face, but Hal, in his innate "Halness" has also managed to punch HIMSELF on a frequent basis, not to mention, being felled by tree branches, yellow ceiling ties, innocuous bars of soap, and flying toy airplanes.

But it's not just Hal.

Guy Gardner seems to be a magnet when it comes to punches in the face as well, although he's not quite in Hal's league when it comes to inadvertently hurting himself.

There was of course, the first...and probably most famous of Guy's face being a handy place to land an opponents fist...the notorious "One Punch".

Guy pictures
< I think that we can all agree this was a TRUE classic, and a moment that has been brought up in comics for twenty years or so by now. So it was the first, but certainly not the last. <Guy pictures

There was the infamous bludgeoning by Hal in the equally infamous issue #25 from the third volumn of Green Lantern, when Hal decided that he wanted to have Earth back, and didn't much care that Guy stood in his way.

<Guy pictures

Well, if it isn't Hal and Guy, at it again. At least Guy is giving some of it back, instead of just getting punched in the face.

Of course, there is just SOME thing about Guy that MAKES you want to smack him around. He was certainly pushing all of Wonder Woman's buttons here, so you really can't blame her.

<Guy pictures

...Still, I think that Hal is really getting a little TOO into it here.

Guy pictures

So it was a great relief to me, to see Guy grow up,and NOT get mercilessly pummelled on a regular basis. At least, not by his friends and co-workers. Now it is mostly bad guys.

<Guy pictures

Bless your heart, Dmitri!

Monday, January 05, 2009

The Brave & the Bold Cartoon

Has anybody been watching this? It appears on the Cartoon chanel at 8:00 EST on Friday, and it has been a hoot. It's rather nice to see Batman NOT be a tool for a change, and they've had such fabulous guest stars. They had Fire! Briefly, but she was there, helping to capture the Gentleman Ghost. And the new Blue Beetle, and an outrageously cocky Green Arrow, a bombastic Aquaman, and a morally challenged Plastic Man.

However, on last Friday's episode, they had Batman and Green Arrow get kidnapped by Merlin, and a bunch of stuff about Excalibur, and Jason Blood and Etrigan, all of which was quite nice. But what was REALLY fabulous, was a brief bit at the beginning, that had Bats on Oa for some reason, and they had Guy Gardner!


I've been waiting for his appearance since they first announced the show. Naturally, it was old obnoxious Guy, and he DID have that haircut, but I don't care, it was just fun. And Kilowog, and Katma, and C'hp and Salaak and Chaselon and Galius Zed and a few others showed up as well. I just sat there and squealed. My husband of course, thought that I had completely lost my mind, but he soon fell asleep in his chair and I was able to continue viewing without interruption.

I hope that they have another appearance SOON!

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Green Lantern #36


And the Rage of the Red Lanterns continues. It HAS been quite a while! But Hal is back, and so is Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis, and it was so delightful to just sit back and WALLOW in Green Lanterny goodness after such a long dry spell.

As you all recall, Sinestro was being escorted back to Korugar for execution, when he was intercepted, and abducted by the Red Lanterns. The Red Lanterns were something of a surprise to the Green Lanterns, but fortunately, their magnificent asses were pulled out of the fire by the appearance of a BLUE Lantern by the name of St. Walker. And now, that we are all caught up, Atrocitus has taken Sinestro back to Ysmault, where he's being crucified, taunted, tortured and generally being made MOST uncomfortable. Sinestro, being who he is, simply sneers.

The Green Lanterns are somewhat startled by the appearance of the Blue Lantern, St. Walker, and not quite sure if he is a good or bad guy. Kilowog in particular seems a bit fed up with all the proliferation of colored corps springing up. Even John is cranky, which leads to this.

John Stewart

Holy...! Katma! Katma Tui! The power of the Blue Lantern has doused the corruption of the red flame of the Red Lanterns, at least temporarily, while a dazed John Stewart is overcome by the thought of seeing Katma again. Salaak wants to question their benefactor, but he is under orders to drag Hal off with him, to the planet Odym. This is where Ganthet and Sayd have set up shop, and I have to say that it is an awfully pretty place. Ganthet and Sayd are busy recruiting another Blue Lantern, who after careful consideration decides to join, a large elephantish looking creature named Warth. Unlike the other corps, at least Ganthet and Sayd are polite enough to actually explain what is going on, and what the job entails, plus you have the option of declining if you so desire.

Ganthet and Sayd are quite pleased to see Hal, Hal is a little less pleased to see them, but then he's feeling a little cranky at the moment.


Ganthet is trying to explain, that as miserable a jackass as Sinestro has become, for some reason, he does need to be saved...that his is important to the fate of the universe somehow...and so is Hal.

Meanwhile, over on the Zamaron home planet, Fatality who had been encased in the crystal after her capture, finally has her yellow programming over-ridden by the violet love conversion. Love Conversion...it sounds like a cheesy reality show. She busts out of her crystal cocoon, and immediately decides to go and look up John. John is just SO popular!

Hal in the meantime is flying off with both St. Walker and Warth, but he's still grumpy. They pass a planet that is in big trouble, with its sun about to go supernova. While Hal is trying to cope with a planetary evacuation as a solution, Warth and Walker calmly use their emotional auras to turn the sun young again, thus saving the people. I'm not exactly sure that things would work this way, but what the heck, it was a heck of an impressive demonstration.


Oh Hal. EVERYONE wants you!

Oh...and even Sinestro gets a surprise.


I did NOT see that coming, and the look on Sinestro's face is quite well done. Now I wonder who his daughter could be? I thought of Katma, which would make a small amount of sense, but then I realized that she's already dead, so there isn't a whole lot that Atrocitus could do to threaten him. On the other hand, there is Soranik Natu, who is ALSO from Korugar...! Nah, they wouldn't do that...would they? On the other hand, it would explain why he was relatively gentle with her back during the War. Or it could be somebody completely unkown.

This is getting so very interesting.

Friday, January 02, 2009

All Romance Comic Heroes look like Hal...and Then Some!

Ok, now this is starting to get ridiculous!


Now we not only have Hal, we have Lana Lang and Clark Kent! Oh Hal, you just seem to pop up everywhere! You will all be pleased to know that Hal is actually the bad guy in this particular little gem, and that Clark ends up getting the girl. Probably, much to Hal's relief.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Well, It's 2009, Now.

While 2008 certainly had its moments in sports, politics and comics, I have to admit that financially, it was a real bust. But let us try and not dwell on that sort of thing, and instead focus on the REALLY important things in the New Year. I plan, to keep on doing the same ridiculous posts that I've been perpetrating for the past couple of years. Partly because I dislike change (in some things at least) and partly because I can't really think of anything else to do.

Therefore, let us begin the New Year on a familiar note.

Hal Pictures

Yes, that's Hal, unconcious (from hitting his head, natch') AND displaying his magnificent hindquarters.

Nothing like getting off on the right foot!