Hal Pictures Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!: Oh Hal.

Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!

Now with Guy Gardner's Seal of Approval!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Oh Hal.

It's snowing, and I have an impending tickle in my throat that bodes no good. What does all of this mean? Why, it means that it's time to pick on Hal again. I haven't done it in at LEAST a week or so.

Mainly, this was brought on by the fact that I've been rooting around in my boxes again, and reading whole huge chunks of books all at once. I finished off the JLI, and then Guy Gardner: Warrior a little while ago, and am now immersed in early Green Lanterns. Gosh they are fun. Gosh, but Hal is an idiot most of the time. But what the heck, I've come to realize that that is part of his charm.

Hal Pictures

Like this scan. I don't even know where it is from, but it just sums up everything about Hal so well.

It was recently stated that horror movies don't bother our boy at all, but movies like "Love Actually" and "My Best Friend's Wedding" send him into a cold sweat of panic. If Hal has nightmares, do you suppose that they revolve around flashbacks to the time that Kari Limbo actually got him to the altar? If it hadn't been for her finally figuring out that Guy was trapped in another dimension, the two of them would have actually gone through with it, and Hal would be MARRIED! It rather makes his subsequent poor treatment of Guy even worse in retrospect. Guy inadvertently SAVED Hal from being leg-shackled to one of the most annoying women in the entire DC Universe!

Carol Ferris was pretty determined to marry Hal (or Green Lantern if you will) for a while there. Not to mention Dorine, Rose and all the others. I'm not sure that any of these ladies ever took a moment to think things through. Being a non-powered spouse to a superhero has a lot of drawbacks. Just ask Lois Lane. Nothing like painting a huge target on your backside. Is it really worth being kidnapped on a weekly basis, just in order to score off of your friends about having sex with Hal Jordan? Hell, half of the free world, not to mention the galaxy...has had sex with Hal Jordan! I can only assume that being a Green Lantern confers the ability to not be infected with a variety of STD's.

But I'm getting sidetracked. I suppose the ultimate horror for Hal, other than women wanting to marry him...would be women NOT wanting to marry him. He does have a rather HIGH opionion of himself. There is a lovely moment in the most recent Green Lantern issue, where the Guardians are choosing potential candidates for the Alpha Lanterns and they pass right by Hal. He doesn't WANT to be an Alpha Lantern...and yet, you can tell from the look on his face that he is just the teensiest bit miffed that they didn't even consider him.

Oh Hal. Never change.



At 10:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am positive that Hal's ring can be used as the ultimate condom. I mean, if it can protect John Stewart from a crazed Starro virus, I'm pretty sure petty Earth problems like the Clap or Herpes are useless against the Ring. (Unless they were Yellow.... hmm.... do things that small have color?)

At 5:24 AM, Blogger nicodemus88 said...

Well it's true but there is one thing his ring can't protect him against :his fear of engagment... and his view as himself as the Alpha mate. ^^

(And I have liked Love actually ^^)

(and maybe you shoud take some syrup or grog for your throat...)


At 6:29 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Oh, Hal is quite the rogue, isn't he? As for viruses, the Lanterns have Leezel Pon to take care of them.

Thanks Nico, I plan to start mainlining Nyquil at any moment now.


Post a Comment

<< Home